


Unspeakably Unique

by loganmai



Category: Motionless in White (Band), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Abuse, Adoption, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Attempted Murder, Blowjobs, Bullying, Car Accident, Child Abandonment, Coma, Divorce, Eating Disorders, Forced Gender Assignment, Foster Care, Gay Sex, Genderqueer Character, Happy Ending, High School, Intersex, Light BDSM, Marriage, Mild mental illness, Multi, Non-binary character, Other, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rough Sex, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Smoking, Social Worker, Suicidal Thoughts, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-08 04:03:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 87,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11073678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loganmai/pseuds/loganmai
Summary: When Frank moves to a new school after being taken in by a social worker, the last thing he expects to find is Gerard, the kid who just really likes skirts. Can Frank overcome his ‘behavioral problems’ from his past trauma and learn to trust Gerard? And will Gerard ever truly trust Frank with all his secrets?





	1. Chapter 1

**F**

Chris slid a box across the counter to me. “First day of school. How do you feel?”

I opened the box, blinking at the lunch he'd prepared for me.

“Um. Weirded out. This is like..”

“What parents do,” Chris said quietly. “It's much more healthy and less expensive than school lunches and I know if you had your way, you'd take nothing but fruit snacks and cheese to school.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Probably about right.” I put the lid back on the box and tucked it into my backpack. “I feel okay. I've moved schools a few times, it doesn't really bother me too much anymore. And I'm halfway through senior year, so it's not like it's gonna be a long haul.”

“Good. Do you want me to drive you or are you gonna take the bus?”

I waved my card at him, smiling slightly. “Bus. Thanks though.”

Chris glanced at the clock. “You'd better go now, it's as couple blocks to the stop.”

“I know where it is, _Christopher_ ,” I muttered, getting up off my chair.

“Hey,” he said, pointing at me. “Don't be a dick.”

“Whatever.”

I slipped out the front door, jamming my earbuds in my ears. I'd had almost two months off school, what with the hospital trips and settling in with Chris. It was a weird feeling, looking forward to getting trapped in a classroom with a bunch of other spotty teens, but it wasn't a bad one either. I walked to the stop and waited quietly, turning up my music and pointedly ignoring everyone else there. Until _he_ turned up. He had headphones on, pushing his long red hair back from his rounded, but handsome face. His eyes were a soft hazel, his nose turned up slightly. But the most striking thing about him was his clothing choice.

The long sleeved black dress and the black high heeled boots weren't quite what I’d expected to see as I ran my eyes down his body, but it made me smile. It suited him, especially with the cat print tights. He stood a little way away from the group, avoiding eye contact with anyone even more than I was. When the bus arrived, he walked straight to the back and sat down. I took a seat nearer the front, cranking up my music as the bus pulled away.

~

I had just gotten my schedule from the office and was walking down the halls, trying to find the right classroom when I heard the sounds of a struggle in the men’s restroom. I ducked inside and found the boy from earlier, trying to shake off two much larger kids. One of them had his hand up the redhead’s skirt, the other pinning him against the wall and just generally sneering.

I cleared my throat and set my backpack down, rolling my sleeves up. The kids looked at me and laughed. “The fuck are you gonna do, short ass?”

One of them was about six foot, with cropped blonde hair and blue eyes. The other, who'd been attempting to grope the younger boy was taller, but slimmer, with messy black hair and dark brown eyes. I shrugged. “Put him down and you won't find out.”

The taller of the two jerked his head towards me and Blondie stepped up to me, laughing. “You're even smaller close up.”

I squinted. “I'm pretty sure that goes against a lot of rules of perspective.”

This threw Blondie off, whom I supposed was used to other kids quaking in their boots when he leaned over them. The redhead was watching me. I winked at him and brought my knee up into Blondie’s crotch while he was still thinking over my comment. He dropped and I walked to Gangly calmly. “Let him go.”

The boy glanced at his friend and stepped back, then whipped around and ran out. I offered my hand to the redhead. “Are you alright?”

He blinked and seemed to shake himself. “I didn't need a fucking Prince Charming, asshole.”

I sighed and walked away, grabbing my backpack. “Fuck off, then.”

I swung my bag over my shoulder and calmly left the bathroom, walking down the hall to the first class of my day. I slipped inside just as the bell rang and slunk to a seat in the back, throwing myself down in my chair. I got out a notebook and sighed, trying to forget the incident with the redhead.

~

I was smoking outside at lunch when Blondie and Gangly turned up, sitting down on either side of me. I stared straight ahead, taking a long, pensive drag. “The fuck you guys want?”

Gangly grinned. “Well, since you stopped us from having our fun with that little cunt this morning, we thought maybe you'd do instead.”

I chuckled and glanced down at my watch. “Mhm. Try it.”

Gangly reached across, running his hand over my thigh. I stared at it for a second, trying to ignore the rising nausea, then grabbed his wrist, bringing my cigarette down against the back of his hand. He bit back a squeal and I turned to face him, holding his wrist and the cigarette firmly. “Consider this a fucking warning to stay away from me and all the other kids at this fucking shithole of a school. If I see you so much as lay a finger on that redhead again, I will slit your fucking throat and dump you in a river somewhere. Do you fucking understand?”

Gangly managed a slight nod, his eyes wet.

“Good. Oh, and if you go to the principal about this, I might get in trouble for smoking at school. Maybe. But you will get expelled and possibly arrested for sexual assault. And probably sexual assault of a minor, because that redhead did not look sixteen to me. Get it?”

He nodded again and I let go of his wrist, tucking the cigarette butt in my pocket and lighting a fresh one for emphasis as they slithered away.

I smiled to myself and put the cigarette out on the concrete, tucking it back in the packet before opening the box Chris had given me. I was just finishing my lunch when I heard footsteps clicking towards me. I glanced up and smiled. “Hey, ‘I don't need a fucking Prince Charming.’ How was your morning?”

The kid went almost as red as his hair and sat down on the bench next to me. This close, I could see the little crystal earrings and the delicate key necklace. I could even tell he was wearing a little mascara and some eyeliner.

“I'm sorry about that,” he said quietly, placing the palms of his hands on the edge of the bench either side of him, his fingers facing forward. He looked uncomfortable. Very much so. “I'm not used to people helping me and I just...didn't know what to do.”

I shrugged and leaned back, running a hand through my hair. “Mhm. It's alright. Apology accepted and all that fuckery. You okay?”

“Yeah, they usually just...taunt me. I um. I'm kind of used to it? Not them touching me, but the shouting and the name calling. Most of it factually incorrect,” he said quietly, adding the last bit with a slight smile.

“That's a shitty thing to be used to. People are dicks.”

He nodded. “Yep. I uh...my name’s Gerard, by the way. I normally sit with my friends in the cafeteria if you wanna come hang out sometime..”

I didn't look at him, taking a deep breath. “Maybe another time. I'm Frank. How old are you?”

Gerard seemed taken aback, glancing at me. “Fifteen. Why?”

“I kind of threatened some people earlier and most of it hinged on you being underage, so…”

He stared at me as I smiled at him.

“You're a good judge of age, then.”

“Sometimes. You should get back to your friends, lunch is nearly over.”

Gerard stood up quickly, taking a couple steps before stopping and turning. “Thank you,” he said again quietly, not making eye contact.

“Anytime.”

He hurried off and I smiled to myself, folding my arms over my chest.

~~~

Chris dropped his keys in the bowl and walked into the living room. “Have you done your homework yet? No tv before homework, remember?”

“Yes, _Christopher._ I'm not an idiot.”

He sighed loudly. “I never said you were, Frank. How was school?”

“I threatened some assholes after catching them trying to sexually assault an underage student,” I said flatly, not looking at him.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard what I said, Chris.”

“Was she okay? Are you okay?”

I laughed softly and paused the tv show I was watching, looking up at Chris. “He was fine. They didn't even rip his dress.”

Chris stared at me for a couple seconds. “Okay, I'm confused. Start from the beginning.”

I told him everything, leaving out the part where I burned a kid’s hand with my cigarette.

Chris sighed and ran a hand through his long black hair, shaking it out. “Frank, I'm glad you defended this kid, but you gotta be careful.”

I rolled my eyes. “I can take care of myself. This kid tried to bully me in eighth grade and I punched him in the throat, sent him to hospital. Besides, I go to my kickboxing class every week, you know this because you drive me. So where's my medal?”

He laughed and shook his head slightly. “Alright. Count this as a point towards that tattoo you want. What do you want for dinner?”

“Food.”

“For fuck’s sake, I'm gonna start feeding you grass,” Chris snapped, slapping the back of my head gently and walking off into the kitchen.

He had this weird point-based system to ‘fixing my behavioral problems,’ and I could never figure it out. He kept tally in his head, but I never knew how many I needed for the thing I wanted, like concert tickets or a new speaker. In any case, when I acted like a decent human being, he'd tell me I’d gotten a point and act like it was a huge deal. I'd tired of it and stopped striving for points fairly quickly, but it was often still gratifying. And he never took points away unless I did something very very serious. Like the time he'd tried to help me set my knee brace and I'd punched him in the face. That hadn't been my proudest moment.

I wandered into the kitchen and frowned. Chris was leaning back against the counter, his head in his hands.

“Chris? Everything alright?”

He sighed and looked at me, smiling sadly. “I've just had a long day, Frank. I'm okay.”

I hopped up and sat on the counter across the room from him. “Why?”

“Well you know I work a lot with kids in the foster system and I manage a lot of cases..”

I nodded slightly, running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I know.”

“One of the kids I manage the case for attempted suicide today. I placed her perfectly, an amazing family who'd fostered before successfully and she just...I don't know. I...I try so hard to make these kids happy and it's just impossible sometimes..”

I frowned, looking down at my hands and picking at a hangnail. “You know I...I don't mean to be..”

Chris smiled and walked over to me, squeezing my shoulder gently. “I know, Frank. It's alright. Sometimes you're incredibly exasperating, I must admit, but I know you don't do it on purpose.”

Chris hugged me loosely, letting me lean into his chest. A month ago, allowing him to touch me like this would have been unthinkable, but now I felt comforted and safe. He stroked my hair once before breaking away. “We’ll be okay, Frank. Now what do you want to eat?”

I shrugged and he rolled his eyes fondly. “Very helpful.”

“What have we got, Chris?”

He hummed and tucked his hair behind his ears, opening the fridge. “Not a lot. I could do quorn spaghetti? It would be fairly easy.”

I grinned, kicking my feet like a little kid. “Perfect.”

 ~

_I felt hands on me, on my feet and legs as I tried to kick them away, screaming through the gag tied in my mouth. Someone started to laugh and light suddenly flooded the little room. My hands were tied above my head, my body laid out on a thin, bloodstained mattress. The man leaned over me and I screamed again-_

 ~

Chris was shaking me, speaking to me quietly. “Frank, it's alright. It was just a dream...it's okay..”

I tried to take deep breaths, but the sobs got in the way as I clung to his arms, shaking and sweating all over. Chris pulled me into a hug and just held me until the tears stopped coming.


	2. Chapter 2

**F**

I saw Gerard at the bus stop again the next morning, but didn't say anything to him. He didn't look at me. He was wearing a very different outfit, plain black skinny jeans with a cropped grey sweatshirt that was stained with something bright red around the sleeves and hem. His hair was swept back from his face, and as I looked closer, I realized he wasn't wearing any makeup.

Gerard noticed me staring when we were on the bus, but he just flashed me a faint smile and went back to fiddling with his phone. I sighed and turned the volume up on my own phone, relaxing slightly.

~ 

As I was walking to my second class, I heard shouting and jeering down a side hall and had to go investigate, getting a sinking feeling that Gerard would be the center of attention. As I rounded the corner, my heart leapt into my throat. Gerard was lying on the floor, trying to scramble up, but Blondie had a foot on his back, laughing as the smaller boy tried to get to his books, which Gangly was tearing apart, destroying his notes. The crowd around them was laughing and jeering and shouting things along the lines of ‘freak’ and ‘faggot.’ I dropped my backpack quickly and grabbed a kid near me. “If you value your testicles, run to the nearest classroom and bring a fucking teacher.”

He nodded and ran off. I took a deep breath.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” I roared. Gangly glanced up at me and the suddenly much less confident crowd took a collective step back. Blondie let go of Gerard, who crawled into the corner and curled up, his arms over his head. I shoved past the larger boys and knelt down next to Gerard, slipping my leather jacket off and laying it over him. “You're okay. You're safe,” I soothed, brushing the back of my index finger over his cheek. I stood up and turned, glaring at Blondie, who was too stupid to run. The crowd had dispersed now and the kid I’d sent off came running back with a teacher at his heels.

 ~

I spent the rest of my morning talking to admin staff, the principal, and the teacher who had been ‘first on the scene.’ I did, in fact, get into trouble for burning a kid’s hand with a cigarette, but it was all worth it when the police came and arrested the two kids in front of Gerard. He'd been very brave, holding back tears and admitting that he'd been bullied for months and it had only just gotten physical. I'd stayed with him as much as possible, concerned about him as he stayed curled in his chair, his chin resting on his knees.

He started to cry when the policeman took Gangly and Blondie away, but I could tell he was just overwhelmed with relief. Just as I tried to comfort him, the door swung open and a thin kid with blonde, slicked back hair stepped in, hurrying over to Gerard. He helped the crying boy to his feet and shot me a mistrustful look as he led Gerard out of the room. I sat quietly, my arms folded over my chest, until I heard footsteps behind me.

“Frank.”

“Chris.”

“How long have you been suspended for?”

I took a deep breath. “One day, Chris.”

“So one week without tv, without your phone, and without any of those late night trips to the park you think I don't know about. And you can forget about that tattoo.”

I got up, forcing down my desire to scream and yell and let my rage out to feast on the man barely ten years my senior who had somehow ended up in charge of my life. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off, stalking out to his car.

~

Once we got home, Chris walked me inside and gently pulled me back when I tried to go upstairs. “Hey. You did the right thing, Frank. Just...in the wrong way. You know I have to punish you for that..” He was watching me worriedly, his hands hanging limp at his sides.

“He grabbed my thigh,” I muttered, looking down and shuffling my feet. “He was gonna...I c-couldn't..I c-couldn't let him…”

I suddenly burst into tears, surprising myself as much as Chris. He carefully pulled me into a hug, running his fingers through my hair slowly. “Shit, Frank. I'm sorry...did it bring up...stuff?”

I nodded slightly, grabbing onto him and twisting my fingers in the back of his shirt as I buried my face in his chest.

He rubbed my back slowly, sighing quietly. “Frank, I'm taking back grounding you, but you need to understand that this behavior is not okay, under any circumstances.”

I nodded again, and Chris ran his long fingers through my hair. “What an eventful first two days,” he mumbled, resting his chin on my head. “That poor kid...is he okay?”

I let go of Chris, slowly breaking away and rubbing my eyes. “I think so. He's one brave little shit, and he has loads of good friends, I think. He will be okay if he isn't now.”

“Good. What are you gonna do for the rest of the afternoon? I have to get back to work.”

“Honestly?” I smiled. “Probably just sleep. I didn't um. I didn't get much last night.”

Chris frowned and brushed his hand over my cheek. “Call me if you need anything, anything at all. And you should get something for that kid.”

I snorted. “What? An ‘I'm sorry you almost got raped’ card? I don't think they sell those at Hallmark.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “You don't always have to be so vulgar. And have a think about it. A couple flowers might be nice. I can give them to the office at school and they'll take them to him tomorrow.”

I nodded slightly, picking up my backpack. “I'll think about it, but now I'm gonna go nap. Wake me when you get home.”

“Okay. Sleep well.”

 ~~~

Chris stopped me just before I walked out the door, holding his hand out. I sighed and took out my cigarettes and lighter, handing them to him.

“Is that all of them?” He asked, looking at me seriously. I nodded.

“I only have one pack left.”

“Alright. Have a good day, Frank.”

I nodded again and slipped out of the front door, walking to the bus stop quietly. Gerard didn't show up at all that morning, so I just got on with my day, honestly glad for the lack of excitement. Obviously everyone had heard about the incident with the cigarette, as a lot of kids gave me weird looks or leaned away from me throughout the day. I ignored it, instead paying attention in class and taking good notes.

I walked through the cafeteria at lunch, heading outside, but a hand gripped my arm, pulling me back gently. I shook it off and whipped around, coming face to face with Gerard, who smiled faintly. “You can come sit with my friends..”

I hesitated and he bit his lip, looking at me pleadingly. I sighed and nodded, letting him lead me over to a table in the corner. There were four kids already at the table. Gerard sat down and gently pulled me down next to him. “Guys, this is Frank. Frank, that's Mikey, my brother, Pete, Ray, and Patrick.”

I nodded and smiled uncertainly. Mikey was staring at me in a not completely unfriendly way, but he kept glancing at Gerard. He looked younger, but was certainly protective. Gerard poked my side. I jumped and everyone laughed. “Yeah?”

He giggled and shrugged. “I was asking if you'd be interested in an LGBTI club for the school. We're thinking of starting one.”

I blinked. “What makes you think I'd be interested in that?”

Gerard smiled sweetly. “Because you helped me. You clearly have respect for people who are different.”

I relaxed slightly and ran a hand through my hair. “I mean, I probably wouldn't go much..”

He sighed and nodded. “It's okay. I don't think there's many people interested in it apart from us.”

I glanced around at the table again and noticed how close together Mikey and Pete were sitting, and if I looked closely enough, I could tell they were holding hands under the table. I tapped Gerard's shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Are Mikey and Pete..?”

He nodded and smiled. “Yep. They're a good couple, no? I'm pleased for them.”

I bit my lip and sighed. “I'm uh...this seems like a safe place..”

Gerard turned to me and smiled, rubbing my forearm. “Very much so. Is there something you wanna tell me?”

I glanced around nervously. “I'm uh...I'm gay, but I don't really like talking about it much..”

He nodded and went back to eating. “It never seems like the safest school to be out, huh? Well, they mostly leave the gay kids alone cause they're too busy picking on the non-binary kid.”

I blinked and bit my lip. “I don't really know what that is.”

Gerard smiled at me. “I don't really have time to explain right now, you should look it up when you get home. The bell’s about to ring.”

I nodded, watching him get up. He waved to me before hurrying off, and I sighed quietly as the bell rang. “Fuck.”

I'd never meant to tell anyone about my sexuality. I'd been out and open at my last school, and it had not been a pleasant experience. Since then, I'd kept it from everyone. Chris only knew because he read it in a file, I'd never talked to him about it. Although we had an understanding and I was pretty sure he was gay too.

In any case, Gerard had made me feel safe for a brief moment. His bright smile and his soft hazel eyes had pulled me in and I'd felt ready somehow, to admit to what I was. And he'd just smiled and nodded. It had felt…good, to my surprise.

 ~

Chris was home when I got back, a file open on the kitchen table as he sat there, rubbing his temples. I walked past him pretty much unnoticed and put the coffee pot on, pouring out two mugs. I stirred in sugar and cream for him, setting it down in front of him and making him jump.

“Everything okay?”

He grabbed the coffee and took a long gulp. “God, it's better now. Thanks. When did you get home?”

I chuckled, sitting down in the other chair. “Two minutes ago.”

Chris tilted his head. “You look happy. Did you have a good day?”

I bit my lip, shrugging. “I met some nice people.”

“Good. And you didn't get into any fights?”

I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. “Nope. Nice and uneventful.”

“Sounds perfect.”

I glanced over the file and Chris shut it carefully. “Sorry, Frank, you know-”

“It's confidential, yeah. I know, I'm not offended.”

He smiled at me and nodded. “I think we should order pizza tonight, I'm in the mood. Why don't you go get your work done and then we could watch a movie or something?”

I nodded, getting up and stretching. “Sounds good to me. I don't have too much homework, it'll probably just take me an hour and a half.”

 ~

Chris and I sat on the sofa, watching Donnie Darko together and eating pizza. He glanced at me after a while.

“You seem different tonight, Frank. What happened at school that you're not telling me about?”

I gritted my teeth. “I don't really want to talk about it.”

Chris sighed. “You never want to talk about anything, but talking about things with others is how we process events, the good and the bad. I know you struggle with opening up, Frank, but I'd thought that we'd started to build up enough trust for this.”

I took a deep breath, looking away. “I opened up to someone today.”

He blinked and stared at me. “Okay. That's very good. What was it about? How did it feel?”

I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hand, trying to ignore the blush creeping up my cheeks. “Um. I told Gerard I was gay. It uh...it felt good, I guess? I don't know. It was weird.”

Chris nodded. “So what made you feel able to do that?”

I shrugged, still not daring to look at him. “Um. I don't really know. He just made me feel safe. He was talking about trying to start an LGBT club and it just felt right, I guess.”

“Good. Well done, Frank.”

And that was it. Chris didn't bring it up again for the rest of the evening, and I went to bed confused and thoughtful.


	3. Chapter 3

G 

Mikey knocked on the bathroom door and I sighed. “I’m coming, just..”    
“Gerard, I have to pee,” he groaned. “Please?”    
“You’re not my real brother!” I joked, rolling my eyes. 

“Whatever. I’ll piss in your bed.”    
I flung the door open and glared at him. “If you do that, I will shred all of your pictures of Pete.” 

Mikey chuckled and pushed past me as I stepped out of the bathroom. I walked back to my bedroom, chewing the inside of my cheek as I tried to figure out what to wear. I eventually settled back on the simple black dress I’d worn before, this time with red tights. By the time I was dressed, Mikey was done in the bathroom and I brushed my teeth quickly before wandering to the kitchen. Mum looked up at me and smiled. “I like those tights. Are you ready to go?”    
I nodded and jerked a thumb down the hall. “Mikey’s just coming, I think.”    
“Have you talked to your teachers about those notes you lost?”    
I sighed and opened the fridge, pouring myself a glass of orange juice. “Not yet. I met this senior guy who seems really nice, though, he might tutor me if I ask.”    
Mum leaned back in her chair, watching me. “Is this the kid that got suspended?”    
I stared at the cup for a few seconds, then put the bottle back in the fridge. “Yeah. But he really does seem nice.”    
“If you say so. I trust your judgement, Gerard.”    
“Good,” I smiled, sipping my juice as Mikey hurried into the kitchen, glaring at me. “You used all the hot water.”    
I shrugged. “So get up earlier.” 

He flipped me off and I smiled, grabbing my bag as Mum got up. “Let’s go, you two, I haven’t got all day.”    
  


~

I got out of the car, waving to Mum before following Mikey up the steps and into the building. He found Pete almost immediately, but I wandered off, towards the end of the school the buses stopped at. I plugged my headphones in and watched for a while, smiling to myself when I saw Frank get off one of the buses. He walked into the school with his head down, not really looking at anyone, and as he was about to walk past me, I caught his arm gently. 

“Hey.”    
He glared at me for a second, then relaxed and smiled ever so slightly. “Hi.” 

I took my headphones off and tucked them in my bag. “Where are you headed?”

“E wing, you?”    
“Similar.”    
Frank nodded and started walking, so I followed him quietly. “How are you this morning?”    
He hesitated and glanced at me. “I can tell you want to ask me something, so just ask.” 

I frowned slightly. “Is it that obvious?”    
“Yep,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair and looking up at me. “Pretty much.” 

“Okay, well...I don’t really have many friends, and uh..I lost a  _ lot  _ of my notes the other day, and I’m already getting really bad grades, so I kind of wondered if you could-”    
“Tutor you? I have four C’s, one D and one B, does it really seem like a good idea?” Frank snorted, shaking his head slightly. 

“Please, Frank? I don’t really have anyone else to ask,” I lied softly. He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye. He knew I was lying. 

“If you really want me to. But for the record, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Meet me in the library after school, okay?”    
I nodded and he slipped into a classroom, leaving me standing in the hallway. 

~

Frank was waiting for me, looking utterly bored and flicking a tiny, scrunched-up ball of paper around on the table. I sat down next to him, smiling slightly as he nodded to me. 

“What do you need help with?”

I rummaged around in my bag, tugging out a folder. “I have biology and geometry.”    
Frank stared at me. “I remember nothing.” 

I sighed and bit my lip lightly. “Please just try? I asked the kids from the tutor club thing and they just laughed at me.” 

He rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’ll have a look when I get home and see if I have any of my old notes, okay? But no promises, I might have thrown them all away when I moved in with Chris.”   
I blinked and watched his face. “Who’s Chris?”    
“My legal guardian,” Frank snapped and I figured dropping the subject immediately was the best bet. 

“Okay, if you could find some, that would be great.”    
He nodded, seeming to relax again. “Look on sites like Quizlet, too, you can find flashcards and study guides and things for free, especially for generic subjects like this. I’m sure you’ll be fine, what are your grades?”    
I felt my cheeks heat up. “I have all A’s,” I said quietly. Frank glared at me. 

“So you don’t really need me at all, then?”    
“No, not really.”    
He got up and picked up his backpack, starting to walk off. 

“Frank! Please...I just wanted to hang out with you...I didn’t know what to say.” 

He stopped and walked back to me, leaning his hands on the table. “Gerard, if you’re gonna ask me for anything again, I’d like you to tell the fucking truth, do you understand?”    
I gulped, trying to look away from his piercing green eyes. “Y-yeah.” 

“I have homework to do and I need to get home,” he sighed, straightening up. “Pass me your notebook.”    
I handed it over a little apprehensively and he grabbed my pencil, scribbling a number down quickly. “Here.” He dropped both back onto the table and walked away. I watched him go, then smiled to myself. It was still a small victory. 

 ~~~

I called Ray, humming to myself and twisting a lock of hair around my finger. Mikey was sitting across from me in the living room, texting Pete. 

“Hey,” Ray said quietly, and I could hear music playing in the background. “What’s up?”    
“Are you around this afternoon?” I asked, fighting back a yawn. “I was thinking of inviting that new kid over, he seems chill.”    
“He does not seem chill, Gerard, he burned someone’s hand with-”   
“I know, but I’ve talked to him and I think he could do with some friends.”   
“You just want to invite him over because he’s cute and he’s gay, I’m not stupid.” 

Mikey looked up and grinned, and I felt my cheeks heating up again. “Shit. Alright, fine, I think he’s cute. Are you happy now?”    
“Yeah. And I’m around as long as pizza is involved.”    
“Okay, will you ask Pat for me? I’m thinking maybe everyone comes over around two and we order pizza at like five? Sound good?”    
“Yep.”

Ray hung up and I took a deep breath before pressing on Frank’s contact. I got up, glancing at Mikey before walking to the kitchen and sitting down at the table. It rang to voicemail and I sighed, setting my phone down and rubbing my eyes. My mind was going nuts.  _ What if he didn't want to pick up? What if I offended him? What if- _

My phone buzzed and I grabbed it, accepting the call. “Hey,” Frank said quietly, his voice a little hoarse. “I just got out of the shower.”

“Oh. Sorry,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. “I just uh...I wanted to say that I'm having a few friends over for pizza and movies this afternoon and since you're new and haven't met people properly yet, I was wondering if you wanted to come along.”

Frank hesitated and then took a deep breath. “Well I just got back from the gym and I've got a couple hours of homework to do. What time were you thinking?”

“Well, Ray, Patrick, and Pete are coming at around two..” I hummed, trying not to get too excited and to sound nonchalant.

“I can come, but I'll probably be late,” Frank answered quietly. “Is that alright?”

“Sure. You don't have to bring anything, just show up, yeah?”

“Okay. I'll see you then, Gerard.”

“See ya,” I mumbled, then hung up and set my phone down quietly. Mikey grabbed my shoulders, making me jump. 

“Fuck off!”

He chuckled and sat down next to me. “Did you get your new man to come?”

I smiled and shrugged. “He's coming, but he's not my man.”

“But you do think he's cute, right?” Mikey asked more seriously, tilting his head. I felt the blush rising. “Yeah, I do. But I've never...I've never really thought about a guy before..”

Mikey shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “That's okay. You're only fifteen, Gerard, you've got time to figure things out. Explore.”

“Says the fourteen year old,” I snorted, but smiled at him. “Okay, Mikes. How's Pete?”

“You're changing the subject, and he's fine.” 

“I know. I'm gonna go take a shower before people arrive.”

“Before Frank arrives, you mean,” Mikey grinned as I got up. I flipped him off and wandered into the bathroom quietly. 

 ~

Mum was hanging around when Frank arrived. She'd said something about wanting to meet him and everything, and I hadn't bothered to argue, but when the doorbell rang, I darted in front of her and opened the door quickly. Frank looked miserable, overshadowed by a much taller man. I blinked. He had countless tattoos, from his jaw down to his fingertips and three lip rings, as well as long black hair that fell to his shoulders. He cracked his knuckles and grinned at me. 

“You must be Gerard. I'm Chris.”

I shook his hand as Frank brushed past me moodily. “Nice to meet you,” I mumbled, stepping back as Mum rounded the corner. She stopped for a second, then smiled slightly. “Are you Frank's dad?” She asked, almost incredulously. 

Chris laughed and shook his head. “No, I'm just his guardian. Are you Mrs. Way?”

She smiled and nodded. “You can call me Donna if you like.”

“Chris,” he said, shaking her hand as well. “I should probably go, I think I've embarrassed Frank enough already.”

Mum chuckled and nodded. “Probably. Do you want us to drop him off later?”

Chris shook his head again. “No, it's fine. We're only a few streets away, he can text me and I'll come pick him up. Here..” He dug an off-white card out of his pocket and handed it to her. “My number’s on the back, in case of emergencies.”

“Thanks. I'll uh, see you later, I guess,” Mum smiled. Chris nodded and headed off down the steps as I shut the front door. 

“He's scary,” I whispered, looking at Mum with wide eyes. I heard a laugh from behind me and turned, blushing as I saw Frank. 

“He's not scary, he's a social worker,” he smiled, leaning back against the wall. “He cried when our hamster died last month.”

“Seriously? That guy?”    
He nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it was surreal.”   
I blinked and bit my lip. “Sorry, I’m a terrible host, you wanna come through to the living room?” 

Frank followed me quietly, seeming almost nervous as I led him into the living room. Mikey and Pete were curled up in one of the armchairs, Ray and Patrick hogging the sofa. I pointed to the remaining armchair. “Here, you can sit there, I’m happy on the floor.” 

Frank shook his head quickly. “Nope.” He sat down on the floor promptly, grinning up at me. I rolled my eyes and sat down in the chair, glancing at Mikey. 

“When we get together for movie nights, we usually watch horror movies, is that okay with you, Frank?” I asked, glancing down at him. He shrugged. 

“I’m happy. I like horror movies.” 

“Cool.”    
Mikey pressed play and I settled back to watch the movie, but kept an eye on Frank, worried. He eventually moved around to sit at my feet, his back against the armchair and his arms around his knees. I leaned down and touched the back of his head lightly. “Do you need a drink or anything?” I whispered. He smiled and shook his head. “I’m okay, Gerard. Really.” 

I nodded and leaned back awkwardly, tugging my skirt over my knees. 

 ~

When the pizza arrived, the other kids scrambled up quickly, leaving me alone with Frank. He stood up, wiping his palms on his jeans. “I like that dress,” he said uncertainly, not really looking at me. I slipped off the chair and smiled at him. “Thanks. I like your shirt. I listen to some Misfits occasionally.”

He bit his lip and looked at me shyly, all but blushing. “Blue suits you.”

“Black suits you,” I hummed, watching him nervously. 

“You always wear that necklace, the key. I uh...it's nice.”

I laughed and tucked my hair behind my ears quickly. “You should go get some pizza, Frank.”

He frowned, tilting his head. “Aren't you having any?”

I felt my stomach churn and shook my head quickly. “I'm gonna make a salad.”

Frank shifted, watching me. “I'd rather have salad..”

I smiled, trying to take deep breaths shakily. “Really?”

He took a step towards me, brushing his fingertips over my arm. “I'm vegetarian,” he mumbled, shrugging as he looked down and quickly shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Oh. That's really cool, I mean-”

Ray hurried in with a plate and Frank stepped away from me immediately, then walked around me into the kitchen. I hesitated and Ray winked at me. 

“Whatever,” I snapped, following Frank to the kitchen. He was already chatting with Mikey when I got there. 

“Yeah, I've been with Chris for about two months. My parents died when I was three, so..”

It sounded like a recited speech. I stood there for a second, watching him. The way his lips moved as he talked, hitched up at one side slightly, and the way his hands moved, a little jarred and uncomfortable. Mikey nodded slightly. 

“Well, as long as you're happy now, I guess.”

Frank paused. “I'm getting there.”

I walked over and touched his back lightly, smiling as he turned to me. “I'm gonna make that salad, do you wanna help?”

He nodded and Mikey rolled his eyes. “Fuck that. Ima go eat, alright?”

I smiled at him, watching him and Pete head out. Patrick stayed, leaning against the counter by the fridge. He seemed to be watching me with Frank, which wasn't helping my nerves.

I started to get ingredients out of the fridge, helping Frank find things like knives and chopping boards. I touched him occasionally, just lightly on his shoulder or back. When the salads were done, I washed everything off and stacked it in the dishwasher. Patrick had approached Frank and was talking to him about something I couldn't quite hear. Then he tried to touch Frank’s shoulder, which was apparently a huge mistake. Frank dodged sideways and slapped his hand away, then took a few steps back, breathing heavily. 

“Frank, hey,” I said quietly, walking towards him slowly as he glared at Patrick. “It's alright, he didn't mean anything..”

I let my fingers brush over Frank's arm and he jumped, turning his gaze to me. His eyes softened and he took a deep breath. “I uh...I'm sorry, I should probably just go home, I don't know what-”

“Frank, it's alright,” I interrupted firmly. “If you have a no touching policy, that's absolutely fine. We understand. Just take a few more breaths and calm down, okay? That's it.”

I smiled at him as his shoulders slumped and he looked away, running a hand through his hair. I handed him his bowl. “Go and start eating, I'm right behind you.”

I watched him go and Patrick raised an eyebrow. “It's a good thing you have a talent for calming people down. He looked ready to...I dunno what..”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my own bowl. “He was on the defensive, he wasn't gonna do anything.”

“He let you touch him.”

I sighed, brushing past Patrick. “Maybe he doesn't see me as a threat, Pat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so I'm out tomorrow from about 6 in the morning to 7 at night, so I'm adding another chapter tonight, as I'll have to be up at 5 and I don't really fancy updating then :) I'm going to try and update this every day like I have with my others but I'm not sure how realistic that is tbh, as I'm trying to take my time with it more and make it better. Anyway, I hope you enjoy <3  
> Logan


	4. Chapter 4

**F**

I stayed a little later than everyone else. Mikey and Pete went up to his room, under strict instruction to leave the door open, and Gerard and I stayed downstairs.

“I looked up non binary,” I mumbled after an uncomfortable silence. “But I didn't really get it. I'm sorry for being ignorant and stuff...could you explain it?”

Gerard smiled at me, fiddling with his necklace. “There's a difference between willful ignorance and simply not knowing something, Frank. Non binary is an umbrella term, which means it encompasses a lot of different identities. But basically it means anything outside of the gender binary, outside of just 'boy and girl'. Like a demiboy. A demiboy may feel masculine a lot of the time, but also not always. Or a genderfluid person might feel more feminine one day, and more masculine another. Some people like to go by neutral pronouns like they/them, but I actually prefer he/him. It sounds more natural to me, and...yeah. I just prefer it.”

I tilted my head slightly, studying him. He was perfectly at ease, his soft hazel eyes fixed on mine. “So what other terms do you use to talk about yourself?”

Gerard chuckled and shrugged. “I don't, really. I'm still figuring myself out, and non binary fits me. I like it, I don't feel a great desire to put myself into a smaller box. I don't even really know my sexuality.”

I laughed and shook my head. “I don't believe that, Gerard. I don't.”

He grinned, twisting a lock of hair around his index finger. “So you wouldn't believe I'm a virgin? That I still haven't had my first kiss?”

I leaned back in my armchair, watching him play with the key around his neck. “No, I wouldn't.”

“Why’s that?”

I gulped. I'd boxed myself in and he'd shown me the way, completely consciously and definitely on purpose. But I’d let him. I felt the blush and sighed.

“Because you're incredibly attractive, Gerard. You have a perfect body, a stunning face, and a really cute style.”

It comforted me slightly to see him blush. “Thanks. But most people call me a fag and a freak. Why are you different?”

I shrugged. “Because I've been called all of that, too. I don't see any point to fussing over what other people do. You look good in dresses. Most boys can't say that, not without a whole bunch of foam and usually some fake boobs. So if you can do something, like wear a dress better than most girls, why not do it? And I have no right to judge you for that.”

Gerard had gone almost as red as his hair now, but he was still smiling at me. “I like that philosophy. And it's true, by the way. I've never been kissed.”

I smiled softly and ran a hand through my hair. “You have time, Gerard. You're only fifteen..”

He was twirling his hair again, but this time more nervously. “Have you had guys before?”

I hesitated, then let myself relax. Gerard was kind and understood the importance of confidential conversations, from what I could tell.

“Three,” I answered quietly. “All of them cheated on me and I vowed to choose more carefully next time, but my life kind of...changed a lot.”

Gerard tilted his head and pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them. “How so?”

“Well...I don't really want to talk about it too much, but I was very sick for a while and had to have surgery for a broken knee, and then I was supposed to be cycled back through the foster system for the fourth time, but Chris pulled me out. He decided he liked me, for some reason, and so I went to live with him. But because of my health problems and...some ‘behavioral issues,’ it took me a really long time to settle in, I'd actually been out of school for nearly two and a half months before I started going here. So yeah...big changes.”

Gerard winced, nodding slightly. “That sucks, I'm sorry Frank. I was actually...I was abandoned in the hospital as a baby,” he mumbled, fiddling with his hands and not looking at me. “The Ways adopted me, cause my birth mother didn't want me...she um..”

He trailed off and I frowned. “Gerard, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm not gonna pry.”

He smiled slightly, nodding a little. “Okay. Thanks, Frank.” He looked up at me and my stomach tightened. “I'm just so glad I was adopted.”

My phone rang suddenly, interrupting the moment. I winced, but pulled it out and answered it, rubbing my forehead with the heel of my hand. “Hello?”

“Frank, I know you said you'd text me, but it's almost ten.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly. “Chris, I'm in the middle of something.”

“Then please text me when you're done, I’d like to go to bed before tonight turns into tomorrow.”

He hung up and I tucked my phone away again. “I'm sorry, Gerard, but I should probably get home in about half an hour, is that alright?”

Gerard smiled, but I could tell he was covering disappointment. “Sure. Will I see you at all tomorrow?”

I blinked, slightly surprised. “You uh..you want to see me?”

He laughed softly and nodded emphatically. “Of course I do! I really like talking to you, Frank.”

“But I kind of...with Patrick..” I mumbled lamely, trailing off as he shook his head.

“You're fine, Frank. What if we had a breakfast picnic?” Gerard suggested excitedly, grinning at me. I couldn't refuse anything to that face.

“Uhh. Sure, at the little park on seventh? What time?”

He smiled. “Can you do early? Like six? We'd see the sunrise then..”

I winced and shook my head. “I am not a morning person, could we say seven? It gives me a chance of getting there on time.”

Gerard rubbed his fingers over the key necklace. “Okay.”

 ~~~

Chris watched me as I poured myself a glass of water. “How was it?”

I shrugged. “I didn't talk to any of the others much, but Gerard was chatty. He's adopted.”

“Really?” Chris asked, and I shot him a glance. He was trying to ‘engage’ me or whatever the fuck mind game he was attempting now. Oddly enough, I didn't care.

“Yeah. His mom left him in the hospital as a kid, didn't want him for some reason. He didn't want to talk about it too much.”

Chris folded his arms over his chest, smiling at me. “Did you open up to him any more?”

I shrugged, kicking at the floor with the toe of my sneaker. “I told him about me being off school and in hospital. And how we ended up here..” I gestured to the house vaguely. “He wants to meet up tomorrow and talk more. I think he's kind of like me, in a way. I don't think he talks to enough people, but he actually wants to…”

Chris nodded slightly. “Yeah. Well, if you feel like you can work on opening up with him, then spending more time with him seems like a good idea to me.”

“He wants to have a breakfast picnic in the park at seven.”

“Well, fuck that!” Chris laughed. “If you wanna go, you're walking cause I'm still gonna be in bed.”

I grinned and nodded. “I kind of figured. I think he kind of has a crush on me,” I added, frowning slightly.

Chris blinked. “And?”

“And I'm not sure what to do with that.”

“Why not? You've never been unsure before,” Chris pointed out. I glared at him.

“That was shade and it was uncalled for, _Christopher_. I'm unsure because he's a total virgin and he's never even been kissed. I also promised myself I wouldn't get involved with anyone until I trusted them, cause I'm sick of getting burned.”

He tilted his head and smiled at me. “You care about him, a lot.”

“I care about a lot of things, just not you,” I snapped, feeling the defensive anger rising for absolutely no reason. He just laughed.

“Fair enough. But I'm assuming you find him attractive? I mean, most people with eyes would if he was wearing jeans..”

I blinked and smiled to myself. “I think he's ten times more handsome in a dress,” I said quietly, half to myself. “It suits him and he looks comfortable in his skin.”

Chris hopped up, sitting on the counter as he watched me. “There's not a lot of men out there with the same open-mindedness you have.”

I glanced at him. “Would you date a guy who liked to wear dresses?”

He stared at me blankly. “Who said anything about me and men?”

I smiled knowingly, shrugging. “I just guessed. I spent a lot of time watching you, Chris. And I went through your phone once, lots of pictures of guys…one in particular..”

He sighed and flipped me off. “You shouldn't have been snooping, Frank.”

I shrugged again. “It was before I trusted you. I wanted to make sure you weren't in contact with my previous foster family.”

Chris smiled sadly. “Come here…” I walked over and hopped up on the counter next to him. He tugged his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and going into his photos. I smiled when I saw the picture. “You look so happy in that one, I like it.”

Chris’s smile widened and he pointed to the other man. This guy was much shorter than Chris, probably not a lot taller than me, with long hair and piercing blue eyes. He was smiling, Chris's arm around him tightly. “That's Ricky,” Chris murmured. “He was supposed to marry me.”

I blinked, looking up at him. “What happened?”

He shrugged, putting his phone away and rubbing his eyes. “He left one night. He just packed all his stuff and left while I was asleep. It was probably about a month before I met you in the hospital. I think if Ricky had married me, I wouldn't have been able to take you in, so on good days, I'm glad.”

“Do you miss him?” I asked, leaning my head on Chris's arm. He sighed and slid his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him gently. “Every day.”

 ~~~

_I saw a face leaning over me. A man with piercings and tattoos. I didn't recognize him as his long black hair brushed my face._

_“How long before the infection gets better?” He asked someone I couldn't see._

_“Hopefully only a couple weeks. He's lucky, a couple more days and we probably couldn't have helped him.”_

_“Pneumonia, right?”_

_“Yep. Caught a cold and was left in a damp basement, so it just kept getting worse. It's almost a good thing they broke his knee, otherwise he wouldn't be here.”_

_I shifted, crying out in pain softly. The man with the tattoos grabbed my hand. “Shh, Frankie. I know it hurts, but this is just a dream...it's just a dream..”_

 

Chris was holding me again, rocking me slowly. I buried my face in his chest, trembling as he started to sing to me softly.

“I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I hope this chapter is alright and clears up some pronoun issues. Just to be clear, I'm writing Gerard's character more as I would like to see myself than as a perfect 'non-binary' character. I didn't want to write him as a simple, clear, dictionary-definition nb person because I wanted to explore the character and the identity more. Pronouns will come up again, and there will be a lot more reference to Gerard's gender, so don't worry about that :)   
> Thanks for all your lovely comments and I hope you continue to enjoy this!  
> Logan


	5. Chapter 5

**G**

I slipped my boxers off and stepped in front of the mirror, trying not to tremble. I knew what should be there and what shouldn't be. The scars on my chest, curving under my nipples, were wrong. My  crotch was wrong. I rubbed a finger over the testosterone patch on my arm. Standing like this, I looked more or less like a trans man. I ran a hand through my hair, pulling it away from my face, my round, feminine face. I liked myself the way I was, objectively. But now, running my eyes over my body with Frank in mind, I started to feel itchy. 

Someone knocked at the door. 

“Just a sec!”

I grabbed my boxers and slipped them on quickly, then my pajama trousers. I opened the door and Dad smiled at me. “Hey Gerard. Your Mum said you might like to have a talk. Are you alright?”

I frowned and nodded. “Yeah, I'm fine..”

“May I come in?”

I nodded again, stepping back to let him in. He sat down on the edge of my bed, watching me as I pulled a shirt on. 

“She said you like this boy...is it Frank?”

I tied my hair up quickly, shrugging. “I guess. He's easy to talk to, he's cute. But his...parent is scary.”

Dad grinned. “Mum told me. Said he seemed nice enough.”

I smiled and sat down next to him. “It was a joke, Dad.”

He sighed and looked at me, studying my face worriedly. “Do you want to go back to your counselor, Gerard?”

I blinked and frowned. “Uh. No, I'm okay, Dad. Really.”

“Mum and I are worried about you,” he said bluntly, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “Figuring out your sexuality...the way you are...it's not easy. And we just don't want you to get hurt.”

I smiled slightly. “I know. I just want to be friends with him, he's just...I feel like I can tell him things and he’ll understand. And not judge.”

“You have other friends like that.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Dad, you know that none of my other friends know about my sex. I don't want to tell any of them. But Frank...I feel like I could. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but one day. One day soon.” 

Dad stroked my hair slowly. “You really do pick ‘em, Gerard.”

I giggled and shook my head slightly. “I think Frank picked me, Dad.”

 ~

I rolled over in bed, trying to get the images of Frank's smile out of my head. I couldn't sleep, too busy replaying our conversation and thinking about tomorrow. He'd started to open up to me and I knew I needed to take the lead. The more I told him, the more he'd offer me. But I couldn't tell him the big one yet. 

I stared at my ceiling for a while, fiddling with my fingers.  _ What does Gerard Way want? _

I bit my lip, hugging myself. I wanted Frank. I wanted to watch him smile and laugh, and I wanted to look at nothing but his big green eyes all day. Green was quickly becoming my favorite color.  _ But why?  _ Not just because he was a pretty face, that was certain. There was something fascinating about Frank, with his tendency to violence, but his kind, open-minded nature. It didn't seem like a combination that would work in a person, but for me, it added to the attractiveness of Frank. I liked people with a little more to offer. I sat up and flicked the light on, dragging the big bag out from under my bed. I unzipped it, pulling out my camera and checking it over. I picked a lens and tucked it all into a smaller bag, then put both under the bed and turned the lights out again. I’d be ready to see Frank. 

 ~

_ I rolled over and he was there, sleeping soundly, his face peaceful. I stroked his hair slowly, running my fingers through the soft black strands. He didn't wake, but smiled in his sleep. I watched him for a while longer, his peace disintegrating as his brow furrowed and he whimpered. I tried to pull him close to me, but he screamed, scrambling out of bed and hitting the floor. His green eyes stared up at me, swimming with tears.  _

 ~

I woke up to my alarm and sighed, hurrying into the bathroom and turning the tap on in the shower. I undressed and got under the spray, sighing happily as it flowed over my back. I bit my lip as I ran my hand down over my stomach and a little further, brushing my fingers over myself. I let my eyes slip closed and bit down harder on my lip for a few seconds. Then I shook myself and sighed, finishing washing my hair. I brushed my teeth and walked back to my bedroom to dry my hair, then rummaged through my closet. I found my deep green dress, with ruffled hems and buttons down the center. I grinned and slipped it on, then tugged on a pair of boxer briefs and my cat tights. I jogged downstairs with the bag from under my bed and grabbed a coolbox from the cupboard, starting to pack it with fresh fruit, yogurt, and some flapjacks I’d made last night. I grabbed my coat off the rack and rolled up the waterproof picnic blanket, then wrote a quick note and headed out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it's kind of short but I wanted to present some of Gerard's thoughts and start building him up more as a character. I noticed that on the other site I have this story up on, the rating went down. I just want to say that if there's something you don't like about this or something you think I could do better, please please please comment or something to let me know. I am always open to feedback and suggestions on how to make my writing better, and I'd really like it if you guys felt free to speak your minds.   
> Thanks!   
> Logan <3


	6. Chapter 6

**F**

I thought Gerard was asleep when I got to the park, his thin body curled up on the picnic blanket, a bag against his stomach. But when I got closer, he sat up and smiled at me, patting the blanket. I threw myself down next to him and sighed. “I got up late and I didn't have a chance to bring anything, I'm sorry.”

Gerard shrugged. “I have plenty of stuff,” he smiled. “Here,” he handed me the box and I opened it, smiling. 

“This looks good, Gerard.”

He grinned, tucking his hair behind his ears shyly. “Thanks. You can take whatever you want, I've been eating the strawberries.”

I chuckled and took out one of the flapjack squares, biting into it. Gerard twirled some hair around a finger, watching me nervously. “Are they okay? I made them at like midnight.”

I chuckled and nodded quickly. “They're really good, Gerard. I like them a lot.”

He blushed and I bit my lip lightly. “Thanks for this...it gets me out of the house.”

He tilted his head slightly, silently inviting me to say more. I continued hesitantly. “Chris talks about bonding and stuff all the time and he likes to take me places on Sunday, but most of the time it's just boring and awkward.”

Gerard smiled softly. “That sounds sweet, he really cares about you, Frank.”

I paused, studying his perfect face, his cheeks a little red in the chilly morning air. “I've never really thought about it that way. I mean...I know I'm lucky to have him..”

Gerard took a strawberry out of the box and bit into it, smearing juice on his chin. 

“He just annoys me sometimes. But I found out last night that his fiancé walked out on him right before we met.”

Gerard's eyes widened. “Really? I mean...he's like twice my age, but I can recognize that he's cute. And he seems super nice. Was she a bitch?”

I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair. “I don't know, I haven't asked him about it since. His name was Ricky..”

Gerard blinked. “Shit. Is he still torn up about it?”

I nodded and bit my lip softly, looking down. “I can't make it any better..”

“But you want to,” Gerard said kindly, wiping his face with a napkin. “That counts for something.”

I sighed and shrugged again. “I guess.”

“How much does Chris know about your life?”

I snorted and drew my knees up to my chest. “Everything. He's the only one who knows everything about me and it's because he read it in a fucking file.”

Gerard winced and nodded slightly. “That's rough, Frankie. But you know you could tell me things. I'm good at keeping secrets...and we could talk about stuff. Talking helps.”

“So I've been told..” I muttered, staring at the grass. I could tell Gerard things. I felt it in my gut. But I was still struggling to get the words out. I lifted my head and took a deep breath. “I have nightmares nearly every night...Chris has to come into my room and wake me up, or I'll just scream all night..”

Gerard blinked slowly, looking like he felt sick. “I'm sorry, Frankie,” he murmured, looking down at the blanket. “I wish I could make it better.”

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. 

“What are they about? You don't have to tell me,” Gerard said softly, shifting closer to me. 

“What came before,” I mumbled, not daring to look at him in case I started to cry. “And the fire...my parents died in a house fire when I was three. My dad took me outside and he left me on the grass while he went back in for my mom. Neither of them came out.”

Gerard moved closer again, tentatively starting to rub my back. “I'm so sorry, Frankie.”

I buried my face in my hands, curling up even tighter as he hugged me, cradling my head against his shoulder. “I'm so so sorry...how can I help?”

I shook my head slowly, trembling slightly. “I don't think you can.”

“One day I will,” He said firmly, running his hand over my side. “I promise.”

I sat there for a while, wrapped up in Gerard's arms, wrapped up in a little warm safe place. 

“Gerard?”

“Mhm?” He loosened his grip and I sat up slowly. 

“Do you want to be kissed?”

He blushed, watching me intently. “Yes, but not yet, I don’t think. I want to know the person I get my first kiss from very well. I'd like to think that I’ll be able to look back on it when I'm older and think I made a good choice, someone who cared for me.”

I nodded slightly, biting my lip. “I want the next person I date to be someone who cares for  _ me  _ and not just the bed.”

Gerard smiled brightly. “Exactly. Too many people take their first kiss lightly, but I'm happy to save it for the person I think deserves it.”

I smiled, watching him as he unpacked a camera from the little back next to him. 

“Will you let me take some pictures of you?”

I blinked and bit my lip. “Uh. I'd rather not..”

He pouted, tilting his head. “Please? I won't show them to anyone..” 

“Maybe another time,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. “I don't really feel my best at the moment.”

Gerard nodded. “Okay.” He put the camera away and smiled at me. “You okay?”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah. Can I ask you something?”

Gerard grinned and started twirling his hair around his finger again. “Go ahead, Frank..”

I bit my lip and shrugged slightly. “Why do you like wearing dresses? I don't mean to sound...I don't know. I just know you get harassed a lot for it, and there's other ways of looking feminine...I think it suits you..” I mumbled, trailing off as my cheeks went bright red.

He smiled, blinking at me. “I know you don't mean to sound ignorant, Frank, it's okay,” he started, and I felt my shoulders relax. “I like dresses because I feel cute in them. They make me feel pretty and desirable and fun. I don't know, but to me, it's worth it.”

I nodded, running a hand through my hair. “Well, I think you're really brave. I know you shouldn't have to be, but I respect that.”

He laughed softly and shrugged. “I shouldn't have to be brave, you're right. But I was raised to be myself and I was raised to make my own choices. And I choose to wear what makes me happy, and everyone else can go fuck themselves.” 

I let a breath out slowly, watching him. “I could listen to you for hours,” I said quietly, without really meaning to. He grinned at me, his nose wrinkling slightly. “And I could listen to you all day. Tell me more about Frank.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I like to play guitar.”

Gerard nodded slightly. “That's awesome. But I was hoping for something a little more..”

“Deep?” I muttered, shaking my head. “There's not much to me beyond what you see, Gerard. I'm just a weird foster kid who can't wait to get the fuck outta high school.”

He smiled at me, hesitating. “There's a lot more to you than that, Frank. I'm not stupid. If you don't want to talk about it...fine. But I have to say that you were very quick to defend me when those guys were touching me.”

I gritted my teeth and looked away, running a hand through my hair. “What they did to you was a fucking picnic compared to-”

I cut myself off quickly and Gerard shifted closer to me, his hand coming to rest on my back lightly but reassuringly. “Compared to what, Frank?”

I shook my head quickly, trying to hide my face from him. My hands were starting to shake and I bit my lip harshly. “Compared to some of the stuff I've been through,” I finished lamely. Gerard's arm slipped around my shoulders and he rested his forehead on the side of my head. 

“You don't have to talk about it, Frankie,” he murmured, his voice almost low enough to be a whisper. “But I'm so glad you're safe now.”

“Am I?” 

He squeezed me gently, pressing a kiss to my hair, just above my ear. “Yes. You are.” 

 ~

Gerard and I were laying on our backs, watching the clouds. It had, of course, been his idea. I jumped a little when I felt his fingers on my arm, but relaxed as he ran his hand down and into mine, lacing our fingers. “I wish I could lay here forever.”

I smiled and shrugged. “It's a Sunday. So you can lay here all day.”

Gerard nodded, rolling onto his side to face me without letting go of my hand. “How is Frank Iero feeling now?”

I bit my lip lightly, staring up at the sky. “Better.”

He put his hand on my chest, watching me for a while. “Frank?”

“Mhm?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

I blinked and took a deep breath. “No. I've loved people, but I don't think I've ever really been in love with them, y'know?”

Gerard frowned, shaking his head. “I don't...what's the difference?”

I shrugged. “I'm not entirely sure since I've never been in love, but you can love someone and want to cuddle them and kiss them and love being around them. I think being  _ in  _ love with someone is more like...trusting them completely, wanting to be around them 24/7. Feeling safe with them intimately. I don't know, I just think there's a lot more to love that I haven't experienced yet.”

Gerard brushed the backs of his fingers across my jaw. “You've never felt safe before? But you've..”

I didn't look at him, taking another deep breath. “I've had some really bad past experiences with sexual stuff and I really need a partner that will go out of their way to make me feel safe and comfortable, and I haven't really had that.”

He sighed quietly. “That makes me so angry, y'know. That someone could have you and have all of you and not want to make you as happy as possible.”

I felt myself blush and rubbed my eyes. “Thanks..”

Gerard giggled and leaned over, kissing my cheek softly. “You're welcome.”

I just laid there for a while, processing what had just happened. His lips were soft and warm, the kiss gentle and caring. It had felt amazing. I rolled onto my side and he smiled at me. 

I knew my lips weren't soft, they were bitten to hell, but I kissed his cheek anyway and he grinned. 

“I like you, Frankie,” he hummed. “I like being around you.” 

“I like being around you too,” I smiled shyly, but shifted away from him slightly. “But I need this to be-”

“Slow?” Gerard murmured, letting go of my hand. I nodded, chewing on my lip again.

“Is that okay?”

Gerard put his hand under my jaw, using his thumb to pull my lip away from my teeth. “Of course, I think it's what I need too. Just don't...don't worry about it, okay?”

I smiled as he took his hand away.  “That doesn't really work for someone with anxiety.”

He frowned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You don't seem that anxious..”

“Well if you read my file, there's a lot about ‘abandonment issues’ and ‘vulnerability,” I mumbled sarcastically. “But that just boils down to me being anxious about relationships. I'm not overly anxious generally.”

Gerard nodded, trailing his fingertips over the back of my hand. “Would you say you have post traumatic stress?”

I stared at him for a few seconds, then shook my head. “I get nightmares, but not flashbacks or anything like that.”

He sighed, studying me with slightly narrowed eyes. “You seem sad a lot...and lonely.”

“Because all I had before I met you was Chris. He's great, but...yeah. He's ten years older than me and he's too busy trying to ‘fix’ me to be my friend.”

Gerard smiled, seeming to relax slightly. “He's your family, not your friend.” 

I hesitated for a few seconds. Gerard had been adopted as a baby, he had no idea what being in the foster system was like, or how difficult my relationship with Chris was and had been. And yet, I found myself nodding. 

“I punched him in the face once.”

Gerard giggled and his eyes softened. “Why?”

I shrugged. “I hadn't been with him for long and it was just after I got home from the hospital the first time. He was trying to help me set my knee brace and it just hurt really badly so I just kinda punched him..”

He laughed again, making me start to chuckle quietly. “That's hilarious.”

“Chris didn't think so at the time, I made his lip bleed,” I grinned. “It's not one of my best moments. It was before I really trusted him.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” I frowned, confused as Gerard shifted to get more comfortable. 

“Do you trust him? Now?”

I sighed and sat up, running a hand through my hair slowly. “Mostly. It's still hard for me, sometimes. We fight over stupid shit a lot because I'm just not...open about anything. And he gets frustrated and I get defensive and it just all kicks off. Luckily, he can have a quick temper, but he's quick to calm down, y'know? He's not one for sulking for hours. I do, I just sit there and tear myself apart, how I shouldn't yell because he's been so good to me, all that.”

Gerard watched me, tracing a finger up and down the outside of my thigh. “You shouldn't beat yourself up, Frank. Fights happen and we get over them. It's how life is. Chris is an adult, and he loves you. He understands.”

I nodded slightly and Gerard sat up next to me, leaning his shoulder against mine lightly. “You can call me anytime, Frank. If you feel bad or need someone to talk to. Any hour. I don't sleep much.”

I looked down, rubbing the side of my face. “You're too nice to me, Gerard.”

He laughed and shook his head, bumping my shoulder with his gently. “Don't be stupid. You deserve it, Frank. You deserve to be surrounded with good people.”

 ~~~

_ The whip came down on my back for the last time and I collapsed, immediately feeling pressure as he grabbed me. I let my head fall forward, not bothering to make any noise as the man used me. It wasn't worth the effort. He got bored with me quickly and got up. “Fucking cunt. You're worthless. You can't even scream properly anymore.” I tried to crawl away, but he stomped on the back of my knee, and I heard the crunch. I bit down hard on my lip, blood filling my mouth. The man grunted and stalked off, slamming the door behind him and plunging me into damp, cold darkness.  _

 

Chris wasn't by my side when I woke, shaking and crying. I ran down the hall and hammered on his door, sobbing already. He flung the door open and scooped me up, carrying me to his bed slowly. “Shh, Frank. It's okay. It's okay, you're safe. Perfectly safe. Shhh..”

He set me down on the mattress, tugging the covers over me. He laid down next to me, on top of the duvet, and started to stroke my hair slowly. 

“Deep breaths, Frankie. Shh, it's alright..” 

Chris stayed with me, patiently stroking my hair and talking to me softly. 

“What was it about?” He asked as he did every time, clearly not expecting an answer. I sniffed and tried to hide my face from him. “Th-the time he broke my kn-knee.”

Chris let out a soft breath and ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “You're safe now, Frankie..”

“It hurts,” I whimpered, trying to hold back a fresh round of tears. 

“Shh, it's just cause you ran on it after laying down for a while, it's alright,” Chris soothed, rubbing my side slowly. “I promise.”

I shuffled closer to him, grabbing onto his shirt and burying my face in his chest. He hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head. “Do you want to stay in here?”

I shook my head and gently pulled away from him. “I d-don't usually get two in one night.”

Chris nodded and got up, gently helping me out of bed and letting me lean on him. “Keep your weight off it if it hurts.”

I bit my lip, letting him half carry me back to my own room. As soon as I was curled up in my own bed, Chris squeezed my shoulder and left the room, letting the door click shut behind him. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. 

 

_ “Strip.” _

_ I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks. All the cameras were pointing at me, several pairs of eyes fixed on me. The man next to me was watching me hungrily. Another man walked to me and pinched my side harshly. “Strip. Now.” _

_ I shook my head and he pinched me harder. “Cunt. Get the fuck on with it.” _

_ I fixed my eyes on the floor, slowly slipping my shirt off. I watched it crumple on the floor and followed it in my mind, curling up in a tiny ball on the floor while the men used my body.  _

 

I woke up again and Chris still wasn't there. I tried to hold it together, hugging my knees and hiding my face behind them. I rocked myself for a while, then grabbed my phone off the bedside table and dialed the number. 

“Hi,” Gerard mumbled, his voice sleepy and hoarse. As soon as I heard it, I broke down sobbing. 

“Shit...Frank? Have you had a nightmare?” 

I managed a barely intelligible ‘yes’ and he sighed. 

“Alright. Listen to me, Frankie. I'm gonna get dressed and I'm gonna come see you. I'm gonna bring you a nice treat and while I'm walking to yours, you're gonna go wake Chris up and tell him what's happening, okay?”

“O-okay..”

Gerard hesitated. “Actually, go wake Chris now. Stay on the phone and pass me over to him, okay? I want to talk to him.”

I got out of bed shakily, gasping in pain and stumbling. 

“Frankie? Are you alright?”

“My kn-knee..”

“Fuck..are you okay to walk?”

I sniffed, trying to wipe my eyes as I limped down the hall slowly. I got to Chris's door at last and knocked lightly, shaking all over. 

“Was it a particularly bad one, Frank?” Gerard asked softly. 

“Y-yeah..” I mumbled, knocking again. Chris opened the door, looking at me sadly. “Hey, Frankie. Who's that?”

I handed him the phone and he sighed. “Hi, Gerard. No, go back to bed. It's a school night and-...Gerard, please, your mum would be furious with me if I let you come here. It's one in the morning, Gerard, Frank will be okay.”

The doorbell rang and Chris sighed, not bothering to grab a shirt as he walked to the front door. I trailed behind him shakily, tugging my sleeves over my hands. Chris opened the door and Gerard stepped in smartly, pushing past him to get to me. The boy pulled me into a tight hug and I collapsed against him, starting to sob again softly. 

 ~

I nibbled at the cake Gerard had brought as Chris sat there, watching worriedly. Gerard smiled at him, rubbing my shoulder. “My parents will let me have a day off tomorrow, if you let Frank stay home, I'll spend the day with him and maybe he can catch up on some restful sleep.”

Chris sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I'm working from home tomorrow. Frank, how're you feeling?”

I nearly dropped my plate. Gerard wrapped an arm around my waist, shushing me softly. 

“Um. Sh-shaky.”

“Do you feel ready to tell us what it was about?” Chris pressed gently, his golden eyes fixed on me intently. I looked down at my plate and shrugged. Gerard sighed, carefully taking the plate away before turning my head to face him. He smiled at me brightly. “Frankie, you can do this. I know it's scary, but Chris and I won't tell anyone, we promise. And you'll get a little relief, and I'll be able to stay with you until you fall asleep again..”

I sniffed, pulling my head from his grip and looking away. Chris watched me, spinning his lip rings nervously. “Frankie, I don't think it'll be anything I don't know about, hon. Would you rather tell just me? Is that what you're scared of? Gerard knowing?”

I shook my head quickly and Gerard kissed my cheek. I froze, all the shakes stopping suddenly, along with the subtle rocking motion I’d kept up for the past hour or so. My shoulders dropped and Gerard stroked a gentle hand down my back. 

“It was about the first time they filmed me.”

Chris blinked, his eyebrows raising as he leaned forward slightly. Gerard all but gagged, pulling me closer to him protectively. 

“I was eleven.”

Chris jumped up, running his hands through his hair as he started to pace. I hung my head, shaking again as the tears dripped into my lap. Gerard didn't say anything for a while, just holding me. I eventually turned, needing comfort. He wrapped me up in his arms as I started to sob, burying my face in his shoulder. After a few minutes of just clinging to Gerard, I felt Chris's hands on my back, then on my sides as he gently pulled me away from Gerard and into his own embrace. I shook, barely breathing in between sobs as Chris held me, his face buried in my hair and his arms wrapped so tightly it seemed he had no intention of ever letting go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it's a little sad. There's gonna be some big steps forward in their relationship soon, and also a new character :)


	7. Chapter 7

**F**

I woke up with a warm body next to me, the door to my bedroom wide open. Gerard shifted and I slipped out of bed quickly, my bare feet sticking to the wood floor in the hallway as I made my way into the kitchen. Chris was sitting at the kitchen table, leaning over something. He lifted his head and I shifted back slightly. “Hey, Frankie,” he murmured, his voice much softer than his gaze. “Come here, hon..”

I walked over uncertainly, sitting down next to him. He pushed the file towards me. “This is yours. I've added something.”

Chris set a pen down in front of me. “Look at the back page.”

I winced, trying not to look at any of the photos as I turned to the last page. I stared at it, jumping when I felt a small hand on my shoulder. Gerard sat down on my other side, watching me in caring concern. 

“I've signed it already,” Chris said quietly. “Since you're over seventeen and three months, if you sign it..”

“I'll be your son,” I muttered, my voice hollow. 

He smiled sadly and brushed his fingers over my cheek, his thumb under my eye. “Yes. I wanted to surprise you with it when we were doing better, but I love you, Frank. And seeing you so upset last night reminded me that you're the most important thing in my life, and I want you to know that. I love you unconditionally and I love you without expecting you to ever be perfect.”

I sniffed and Gerard grinned as I signed the paper shakily. “Th-thanks..”

Chris pulled me into the tightest hug I’d ever received, rubbing my back. “I've never been happier, Frankie..”

When I broke away, he was crying, his fingers shaking as he carefully took the page out of the thick file. Then he flipped to the front page and tore it out, then ripped it in half. “Frank, I don't need this shit anymore. I don't need endless evaluations of you. I don't need pictures of you. I don't need inaccurate records of what happened to you. I just need you.”

 ~

I curled up on the couch with my head resting on Chris's shoulder. He'd taken the paper down to the court or something and had driven Gerard home. They'd agreed that I needed a day with my family. My only family. 

He slipped an arm around me, sighing softly. “No one ever told me they filmed you, Frankie.”

I nodded slightly. “I never told anyone.”

“How long?”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Up to when I was fourteen. After that, I looked too old.” 

I felt him tense next to me and curled up a little tighter. Chris sighed. 

“If I could have stopped all of this, I would have, Frankie. But as it is, I can only do my best to help you through this now. How can I help you today?”

I sniffed, shaking my head slowly. “I don't know. But I can't get the images out of my head..”

“Would you like to go to the cinema? You like the cinema, right?”

I nodded slightly. 

 ~~~

Chris dropped me at Gerard's house the next morning. He had work to do in placement and had to be away, but due to some very long and very frank conversations about my past the day before, he'd thought it best for me to have another day off school to process in a stress-free environment. I wandered into Gerard's living room feeling drained and sick. I'd had more nightmares the night before, and I couldn't get it all off my mind. 

Gerard was sitting on the couch, looking absolutely stunning. His hair was curled, the bright red waves framing his face as the key necklace framed his collarbones. The long sleeved, cropped sweatshirt fell off one shoulder lazily, the pink skirt’s pleats and the cat tights finishing off the look effortlessly. He wasn't wearing much makeup, just perfect winged eyeliner and mascara. 

I stood there staring at him for a while. He smiled at me. “Have you had breakfast?”

I blinked and suddenly burst into tears. Gerard jumped up and quickly steered me over to the couch, sitting me down carefully. “Shh, Frankie..” He soothed, taking a seat next to me and wrapping an arm around me. “It's alright, Frank. Why are you crying, love? Don't cry..”

Gerard managed to calm me down in about ten minutes, smiling at me sadly as I dried my cheeks. 

“I'm sorry..” I mumbled, not looking at him. He sighed and brushed my hair out of my face. “Shh. Don't be, Frank. It's okay to cry sometimes. I know you're very overwhelmed. A lot has happened in the past couple days. You had a super bad nightmare and you opened up to both of us about it, and then Chris adopted you and you guys talked a lot, and now you're here. It's been a bit of a roller coaster and I think you need some down time.”

I nodded slightly, my hands shaking as I watched Gerard. He kissed my forehead softly and stood up slowly. “Come on. A day without revelations or life events. I still don't know anything about you beyond what you said the other night, okay? Chris refused to tell me anything.”

I nodded slightly, grabbing onto his hand and letting him walk me upstairs. His house was much bigger than the little one I shared with Chris. I felt like I could get lost in one single bedroom. Gerard gently pulled me into his room. It was neat and clean, not quite what I'd expected. There were music posters everywhere, and lots of landscape photographs. The bed was huge and looked particularly inviting. 

“You can take a nap if you like, Frankie,” Gerard said softly. “I'll sit with you while you sleep.”

I nodded quickly and he smiled. “I'll get you some pajama pants, you wait here..” 

He slipped back in a few minutes later, handed me the pants, and walked back out immediately. I felt relief flood over me and I changed my pants over quickly, then climbed into bed. Gerard opened the door and hurried over to me, sitting down on the other side of the bed. I curled up with my back to him and let my eyes slip closed. 

 ~

Gerard was lying down next to me, playing with my fingers. “Do you feel better?”

I nodded slightly, not making eye contact. “More rested.”

“Good. Would you like a cuddle?”

I shook my head quickly. “I don't feel like touching much right now.”

“Okay, Frank,” Gerard said with a soft smile. “Whatever's best for you.”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “I want to...I want to do something for Chris.”

“You did yesterday, Frank,” he hummed, brushing his fingertips over my cheek. “You signed that paper and made his year. I've only really met him twice, but I know how much that meant to him.”

“But I want to do something  _ for him, _ ” I insisted quietly. Gerard let out a soft breath, looking past me. “Like what?”

“I want to find Ricky.”

He blinked and shrugged. “It's a nice thought, but I'm not sure we can really do that..”

“I'm going to try. I know his full name,” I mumbled, grabbing my phone. “And I know what he looks like.” 

I scrolled through Facebook for a while, smiling to myself when I finally found the right one. I clicked on the message button and Gerard watched me without moving. “It's gonna be a shock, Frank. Be ready for him to react badly.”

I rolled my eyes. “Chris is a good guy, if Ricky refuses to at least talk to him again, then we know he's an ass.”

Gerard chuckled and smiled at me lazily. “And now you're gonna check Facebook every two seconds, so how about we watch a movie? Keep your mind off it.”

~ 

Chris smiled at me as I got into the car. I looked at him. 

“Do I have to start calling you dad now?”

The thought of it made my hands shake. Chris tilted his head slightly. 

“No, of course not. You can call me whatever you're comfortable with.”

I blinked and folded my hands in my lap. “Okay. I don't want to call you dad.”

He started the car and pulled away from the curb. “Why not?”

I frowned and looked down. “My last foster...people made me call them mum and dad, and I just..”

“Okay,” Chris murmured, a little too quickly. “Chris is absolutely fine.”

I sniffed and rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand. “I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“Not being happier. About you adopting me and stuff.”

Chris frowned and glanced at me. “What do you mean?”

I didn't look at him. “I'm glad and everything, but I just...don't feel super happy or anything. Am I supposed to?”

Chris laughed softly and shook his head. “Frankie, we've talked about this. There's no right or wrong way to feel. You're emotionally exhausted right now, and that's perfectly okay. You'll feel better tomorrow. But just to be clear, this isn't permanent. If you change your mind-”

“I won't,” I said quickly, biting my lip harshly. “But thank you. I..love you.”

Chris took my hand gently, squeezing it. “I love you too, little one.”

My phone buzzed suddenly and I sighed. Chris parked the car and looked over at me. “Get some rest, I'll have dinner ready for six, so go play video games or watch tv or whatever you wanna do to relax for a while. Okay?”

I nodded, getting out of the car and quietly following Chris inside. I walked straight to my room, kicking my shirt and jeans aside before crawling into bed. I picked my phone up off the bedside table and unlocked it. 

**Me, 10:28:**

**Hi, my name is Frank and I was recently adopted by Chris Cerulli, who has been my guardian for a while now. He misses you, every day. He's done so much for me and I just want to see him happy.**

 

**Ricky, 16:03:**

**what do you want from me?**

 

**Me, 16:13:**

**I want you to see him again. Explain. Whatever your reasoning, he needs closure. Please?**

 

**Ricky, 16:29:**

**What happens when he loses his temper? Or he wants me back?**

 

**Me, 16:31:**

**Then you discuss it. Please? It would mean so much to both of us, and we wouldn't bother you again if that's what you wanted.**

 

**Ricky, 16:47:**

**Fine. I will meet him for lunch on Friday, one hour only. Tell him i’ll be at the restaurant where he proposed to me at noon.**

 

I hurried downstairs, finding Chris in the kitchen. I hopped up on the counter, watching him as he got out ingredients for dinner. “What's up?” He asked as he turned to face me, flashing me a brief smile. 

“Please don't be angry with me..”

He frowned, setting the milk down carefully. “I don't like the sound of that, Frank.”

I winced and looked down at the floor. “I messaged Ricky.”

“What?”

I raised my voice from just above a whisper. “I talked to Ricky.”

Chris's face went blank and he stared at me. “What? Seriously? I..”

He trailed off and I leaned away slightly. “He said he'd meet you for lunch.”

Chris closed his eyes for a few seconds, pinching the bridge of his nose. “When?”

“Friday at noon, where you proposed to him.” 

I shifted uncomfortably. “I'm sorry, I-”

He opened his eyes and stepped forward, cupping my jaw in his hands. He kissed my forehead softly. “I'm not angry with you, Frankie. Of course not. But why did you do it?”

I looked up at him, trying not to shake. “Because I want you to be happy.”

Chris sighed and stroked my cheek slowly. “I am happy, Frank. I'm happy because you trust me, and because you want to stay with me.”

“But I wanted to do something for you,” I frowned, gently pulling away from his grip. Chris let his hands fall to his sides, smiling at me sadly. 

“You don't need to, Frankie. Really. But thank you, hon. I'll go and see him, but I don't think it will help much.” 

I tilted my head slightly. “Why not?”

Chris sighed, running a hand through his long hair. “He's been gone for a while, Frank. I'm sure he's found someone else or come up with a hundred reasons why we don't work.”

I rubbed my eyes shakily. “Won't you get some closure at least?”

He nodded. “I hope so. Are you all ready for school tomorrow?”

I smiled, letting him change the subject. “Yeah.”

“Good. Your lunch is in the fridge, I'm gonna have to head out before you go tomorrow, will you be okay?”

I shrugged, watching him turn as he went back to what he'd been doing. “I don't see why not. I just gotta remember to lock the door.”

Chris chuckled. “I'll leave a sticky note on the door handle, how's that?”

I grinned and nodded. “Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is slightly happier, but I don't think they'll be done dealing with Frank's past until like chapter eleven, so they might be a little sad until then :/


	8. Chapter 8

**G**

I watched Frank as he sat next to me, eating lunch quietly. All the other guys were laughing and joking, and Frank just sat there silently, staring at nothing. 

I couldn't blame him, the protective shield he'd built up around himself over years of torture had been torn and broken apart, and he was left floundering and scared. Chris's choice to adopt him had helped, I could tell. They seemed to be getting on better, and Frank seemed more relaxed around him, but it wasn't enough. I touched Frank's shoulder lightly and jerked my head towards the door. He nodded slightly and we both got up, walking outside into the much brighter light. Frank glanced around furtively, then lit a cigarette, winking at me. I rolled my eyes. 

“Frank, are you okay? You seem quiet.”

He shrugged, taking a long drag. “I guess. None of the other guys like me so..”

I frowned and shook my head, leaning back against the wall next to him. “That's not true. Mikey likes you. The other guys just don't know how to talk to you, that's all. They'll warm up, I promise. But something else is going on..”

Frank flicked the ash off his cigarette and looked away sharply. “I'm just tired.”

I groaned quietly, rubbing my eye. “Fuck. You're taking three steps back, Frank. What did I do?”

He sighed, still not looking at me. “Nothing. You didn't do anything. I just...don't want to talk about my past anymore. I'm sick of it and I don't want to think about it. I don't want you to know how fucked up I am.”

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped. Frank stared at me in shock. “Sorry, Frankie. I just...I know how fucked up you are, and I don't need to know what happened to you to know that. I know it from the way you act and how you push people away and have so much trouble opening up. And it's okay. You're getting better and I'm proud of you. But don't push me away, Frank. I'll fight back.”

He smiled slightly, staring at the ground. 

I leaned over and kissed his cheek as he took another drag off the cigarette. “Did you speak to Ricky?”

Frank nodded and I leaned back as he blew the smoke out. “Yeah. They're meeting up on Friday. I just hope it goes okay.”

“Me too,” I hummed, kicking at the ground lightly. 

Frank sighed. “At least Chris is happy at the moment. He's letting me get another tattoo.”

I blinked, staring at him. “I didn't know you had any.”

He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, he knows a guy he trusts who’ll tattoo me. I’d show you the one I've got, but I'd have to take my shirt off. Anyway, Chris is letting me pick one of his so we have matching ones.”

I grinned, watching Frank flick his cigarette again. “That's really cool. What're you gonna choose?”

Frank smiled at me, his eyes soft. “Chris has 10 31 on his thumbs, like for Halloween, but it's actually my birthday. So yeah, I might get that.”

“Seriously? That's fucking cool. But on your hands? He’ll let you?”

Frank nodded slightly. “I have the worst grades you've ever seen, Gerard. I've missed out on so much of my education, and it sucks but I can't change it. I'm going to community college next year and taking music classes. Chris is gonna help me and I'm gonna go to uni for music, one day. So I'll be fine with tattoos.”

I tilted my head, my hair falling out from behind my ears. “That's a really good plan. What kind of music?”

Frank blushed, putting his cigarette out on the brick wall. “Piano and guitar. I sing sometimes, but I'm not that good.”

I grinned and nudged him gently. “Me too. Except for guitar, I tried it once and I sucked. But I can sing and play piano.”

He smiled at me, jumping as the bell rang. “We should go to class.”

I nodded and squeezed his shoulder before running off. 

~ 

I sat with Frank on the bus, resting my head on his shoulder. I'd had a big test at school and I was exhausted. Frank gently nudged me as the bus pulled up at our stop and we got out, hurrying through the drizzling rain to my house, which was marginally closer than Frank's. I stood on the porch with him, fiddling with my keys. 

“Are you sure it's okay if I stay with you for a while?” Frank asked nervously, shifting from foot to foot. I looked up at him and smiled. 

“Of course. Chris is still out, right? Mum will be fine with you being here, she'd probably rather you were here than on your own.”

I finally found the right key and unlocked the door, kicking it open. I tugged my shoes off and dumped my backpack in the hall, hurrying into the living room. “Fuck! It's cold..”

Frank snorted. “Maybe if you wore something a little warmer than a miniskirt-”

“Shut up,” I snapped, but smiled at him. “Do you wanna watch a movie until Chris picks you up?”

He nodded and followed me to the living room, sitting down on the couch. I threw myself down next to him, curling up against his side as I turned the tv on and started scrolling through Netflix. Frank took his phone out, sighing. “Shit.”

“What?” I asked quickly, looking up at him. He was frowning, his lips pursed slightly. 

“Chris is meeting up with Ricky today and he's not gonna be back until after dinner. He's asking if it's ok for me to stay with you and for your mum to drop me home.”

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Of course it's okay. I'll text my mum and let her know what's going on. Now just relax. Chill out. You keep worrying about stupid stuff.”

He rolled his eyes and tucked his phone in his pocket again. “Whatever. Maybe  _ you _ should chill.”

I giggled and gestured to the tv. “Wanna watch this?”

Frank shrugged, fixing my hair gently. “Sure. I don't really mind,” he murmured as he ran his fingers through the tangled red strands. “You need to brush your hair more often, Gerard Way.”

“Well then don't touch it, Frank Iero.”

“But I want to touch it.”

“So brush it for me.”

“But you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself.”

“I know.”

Frank sighed dramatically and I laughed, kissing his cheek. “Am I annoying you?”

“Yes, but it's cute,” he smiled, a little color rising in his cheeks. I grinned and started the movie, pulling a blanket over us as I cuddled closer to Frank. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, his eyes fixed on the tv as I curled up tightly. I yawned and he smiled, brushing his thumb over my cheek. “Take a nap if you're tired.”

“I'm not that tired,” I mumbled sleepily. 

 ~

Frank was shaking my shoulder gently. “Come on, Gerard. Dinner’s ready, you gotta wake up.” 

I followed him into the dining room sleepily, smiling at Mum. “Happy Birthday, Gee. How does sixteen feel?”

I blushed as Frank suddenly glared at me. Dad walked in and sat down, followed by a sullen looking Mikey. “Not much different,” I admitted quietly. “But thanks.”

She smiled and I sat down next to Dad, across from Mikey. Frank sat on my other side, still looking slightly pissed off. Mum dished up four plates, then froze. “Oh shit. Frank, I'm so sorry, hon, but I didn't make anything without meat..”

Frank blinked and smiled slightly. “It's okay. I'm not that hungry.”

Dad shook his head. “No, you can't be the only one without food. Gerard, why don't you take him in the kitchen and find him something?”

I nodded, brushing my hand over Frank's shoulder as I stood up. He followed me nervously, looking horribly embarrassed as he stood in the middle of the kitchen. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. 

“Salad okay?”

Frank nodded, hugging himself tightly. I frowned and shifted closer to him, cupping one side of his jaw in my hand. “What's wrong?”

“You didn't tell me it was your birthday,” he mumbled, looking away. I rolled my eyes and sighed. 

“I forgot, Frankie. Don't look at me like that, just listen. I don't really celebrate my birthday, I celebrate the day I was officially adopted every year instead. So I'm not really bothered with my birthday, I don't get gifts or cake or anything until next month. I would have told you, but I didn't remember.”

Frank took a step back from me and I felt my gut wrench. “Frankie, please..”

He shook his head, backing away a few more steps. “I'm gonna...I'm gonna go home,” he muttered. 

“No, Frankie...no, please,” I murmured, walking towards him slowly, my hands shaking at my sides. He didn't look at me, darting around me and through the kitchen door, slamming it behind him. By the time I'd run to the hall, he'd already left, a vacant spot where his backpack should have been. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a little bit of filler and set up for the next chapter, so sorry it's a little shorter again. Hope you enjoy it anyway :)


	9. Chapter 9

**F**

I slammed my front door behind me and Chris was suddenly in front of me, his hand on my chest. “Whoah, Frank. You're uh..not supposed to be home yet.”

“Well I am,” I snapped, slapping his hand away harshly. “Aren't you happy to see me,  _ Christopher _ ?”

Chris sighed and stroked my hair slowly. “Hey. Whatever happened at Gerard’s, we can talk about it for as long as you like...just...can you give me an hour? Maybe you can go up to my room and watch some tv?”

I flexed my fingers before curling them into fists, my throat tight. In that moment, I had no idea how I felt about anything. I wanted to cry just as much as I wanted to punch Chris in the face. 

“Why? What are you hiding from me?”

Chris sighed and shook his head. “I'm not hiding anything, Frank. Ricky is here and I just..”

“You what? Don't want me to meet him? Why the fuck not, are you fucking ashamed of me?”

He took a deep breath. “Frank, you can't speak to me that way, you're being disrespectful and extremely rude. Go upstairs to your room and I will come find you.”

“Fuck you!” I shouted, finally losing it as I shook my finger in his face, tears welling up in my eyes. “Fuck you and fuck your stupid lies about loving me! You want me to go upstairs so you can fuck your little boyfriend on the couch and kick me to the fucking curb! All because you think I'm not fucking fit for company!”

Chris grabbed my wrists, taking deep breaths. “Frank, I need you to calm down so I can explain.”

I spat in his face and he let go, wiping his cheek with his sleeve. I stared at him for a second, terror gripping me briefly before transforming into yet more anger. I stormed into the living room, my chest heaving as I stared at Ricky. 

He was even smaller in person, his long black hair falling over his shoulders. He watched me worriedly as I hesitated. 

“Get the fuck out of my house,” I growled at last. “Don't you ever fucking come near my family again, I-”

Chris grabbed me from behind, throwing me over his shoulder. “Stay there, Ricky. Frank and I need a talk.”

I knew from past experience that it wasn't worth fighting back, so I just hung there as Chris carried me upstairs, my tears dripping onto the carpet. 

He laid me in bed carefully, but subtly pinned me down as soon as I tried to move. 

“Frank. Focus for a second. I didn't want you to meet Ricky because we’re still figuring stuff out. I didn't want to put you through that stress if he isn't going to be around for very long. I also don't know if he's changed, and I don't want you exposed to someone whom I don't know isn't harmful in some way. I was trying to protect you, and I should have just said it, but I didn't want to hurt Ricky's feelings, cause we have thin walls.”

My whole body went limp and I started to cry softly. Chris sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling me into a gentle hug. 

“I'm s-sorry!” I choked out, gripping the back of his shirt tightly. 

“It's okay, Frankie,” Chris soothed, stroking my hair slowly. “It's okay. What got you so upset when you got home? Hmm?”

I sniffed, trying to calm down and failing. “It was Gerard's birthday today and he didn't t-tell me. And then he tried to tell me that he forgot..”

Chris sighed, pulling away enough to look at me. “What exactly did he say?”

“He said he doesn't celebrate his birthday, only the day he got adopted.”

Chris brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek, catching a few of my tears. “That can be common with kids who are adopted. I'd hear him out, Frankie. I know it's hard because you feel like you've been lied to, but I really doubt he meant to make you feel that way. He's not going to stop being your friend, and even if he did, he wouldn't be that subtle about it. No one is. Okay?”

I nodded shakily and Chris took both of my hands in his, squeezing gently as he looked at me intently. “Promise me you understand what I said and you’ll stop worrying about it?”

I nodded again and Chris kissed the top of my head lightly as he got up. “I need to go and talk to Ricky for a while. If I feel happy to, I'll bring you down to meet him, okay? But for now just try to relax and maybe have a chat with Gerard.” 

~ 

I was curled up in bed when Chris came back up about an hour later. He walked in and crouched down by the bed, smiling at me. “Hey.”

I shifted and offered him a tiny smile in return. “Hi.”

He rubbed my shoulder gently, sighing softly. “Ricky and I have had a nice long talk and he'd really like to meet you. Would you like to come downstairs? We're gonna have some ice cream.”

I stared at him for short while and he sighed again, nodding. “You don't have to, Frankie, it's alright.”

I shook my head slightly. “I want to but I feel so bad,” I mumbled, curling up tighter. Chris frowned and started to rub my side slowly. “Can I help?”

I shrugged. 

“Is it about earlier?”

I nodded. 

He stroked my cheek gently, kneeling down. “Ricky isn't worried about that. He's been through some rough stuff like you, and he understands wanting to lash out. And Gerard will be okay. Just talk to him tomorrow, explain how it made you feel. He’ll get it. I'm fine too. We've had much worse fights and you apologized. I accepted your apology.”

I shrugged again and Chris bit his lip lightly. “Alright. I'm gonna go downstairs for a while, how about you come down when you're ready?”

I shook my head and sat up, grabbing at his hand. He smiled and stood up, helping me out of bed carefully. “What ice cream do you want?”

I shrugged once more and he sighed. “Okay. Come on..”

I refused to let go of his hand as he led me downstairs. I was acting like a little kid, but I didn't care, still feeling sick and empty. Chris gently pulled me into the living room and I took a deep breath. Ricky was still sitting on the couch, but this time he smiled at me and stood up, walking over. From this angle, I could see the scar on his face. He'd been turned away from me before, the scar hidden from view. It cut down from above his eyebrow, through his cloudy eye, and down his cheek. Chris squeezed my hand as Ricky walked up to me, offering me his hand. I let go of Chris's to shake his, smiling nervously. 

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Ricky smiled brightly. “Thank you, Frank. For contacting me, I needed it.”

Chris sighed quietly. “After Ricky left me, he ran into some trouble and then managed to convince himself I wouldn't want him anymore.”

Ricky’s smile turned sheepish and he shrugged. “I'm not really the kind of person to believe that I deserve much, and with the scar..” He trailed off and I nodded vaguely, a little overwhelmed. Chris rubbed my back lightly, pointing to the couch. “Come sit down, Frankie. I'll go get you some ice cream.”

I walked over, curling up in the furthest end of the couch. Ricky sat at the other end, glancing at me worriedly. “I'm sorry you've had a bad day, Frank.”

I shrugged, looking down at my hands. 

“Chris told me a little bit about you...and I want you to know that I've been through some stuff a bit like you have-”

I scoffed, but didn't say anything, looking to the side sharply. Ricky took a deep breath. 

“I had an abusive boyfriend for a few years before I met Chris. He did some really horrible stuff to me, so...I know I'll never understand what you went through, in the same way as you'll never understand what I went through. But if you ever need to talk...I'm here for you.”

I shot him a look. “You don't know me.”

Ricky shrugged with one shoulder. “I know Chris. And he seems to think you're a really good kid. I trust his opinion.”

I looked away again quickly, folding my hands in my lap. “What're you gonna do? With Chris?”

“We're gonna try again,” Ricky said quietly. “Chris really wants to and I still love him.”

I nodded slightly as Chris walked back into the room, carrying a bowl. He handed it to me and sat down next to Ricky, wrapping an arm around the smaller man. I tucked my knees up, staring straight ahead as I ate a spoonful of my ice cream. 

Chris sighed quietly, watching me worriedly. “Frankie?”

“Yeah?” I didn't look at him. 

“Did you talk to Gerard?”

I shook my head slowly. “I'll talk to him at school.”

“Okay. Do you wanna watch a movie?”

I shrugged and Chris turned the tv on, picking a random movie. I finished my ice cream off quickly and grabbed a blanket, pulling it over myself. I felt pathetic, hiding from Ricky, but all I wanted to do was sleep. 

I heard my phone ring and Chris tossed it to me. I looked at the caller ID. Gerard. I got up, answering it as I walked into the kitchen. 

“Hey, Frank. I've been trying to text you,” he said softly. “I um...I'm really sorry. For not telling you. I just...I don't really like making a big deal out of it..”

I took a deep breath.  _ Explain how it made you feel.  _ “I um...you really upset me, Gerard,” I mumbled, my fingers shaky as I rubbed my eyes. “I felt like you didn't want to tell me. Like I wasn't important.”

Gerard took a sharp breath in. “No! Frankie, I'm so sorry, that's not what I meant at all...You're very important to me, of course you are. I was actually gonna tell you today that I want you to come over next month, when I celebrate with my family...I was gonna talk to you about it after dinner..”

I sniffed and put a hand over my eyes, trying to breathe evenly. “Oh. R-really?”

Gerard laughed softly, but I could hear him sniffing as well. “Yeah! You dummy..”

I giggled nervously and bit my lip. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, Frankie. Really. It was just a misunderstanding, it happens.”

“Okay.”

There was a short pause and Gerard sighed. “How are you? Are you home?”

“Yeah, I'm okay. Um. Ricky's here. It's kind of weird.”

“Oh. Does he seem nice?”

“I think so. I'm just not in the best mood. I had a fight with Chris over it and it's just awkward. I kind of shouted at Ricky and yeah...I dunno. Chris seems happy.”

Gerard sighed quietly. “I wish I could come over and keep you company, but I have like three hours of homework to do..”

“That's okay. I'll be fine,” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. “We’re watching a movie now, I'll just hide in the corner.”

Gerard chuckled. “Alright. You better tell me all about it at school tomorrow.”

“I will, I promise. I'll see you then.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” 

Gerard hung up and I sighed, turning around and nearly dropping my phone. “Chris!”

He was leaning in the doorway, watching me. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he smiled. “Did you sort things out?”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah. He's fine.”

“I told you so.”

“I know.”

“Are you gonna drop the bad mood now?”

I flipped him off and he rolled his eyes. 

“I guess not. I think Ricky's gonna head out now, we’re both a little tired and you need to go to bed soon.”

I nodded and followed Chris into the hall, staying half behind him as Ricky smiled at me, tugging his shoes on. 

“Sorry I gotta go, Frank. But we can um...see each other again soon.”

I nodded awkwardly. “Okay..”

Chris stepped forward, gently helping Ricky with his coat. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. The way Chris looked at Ricky was breathtaking. He kissed him ever so softly and I felt like crying. I wanted that so desperately, the gentle touches and fierce love. In that moment, I realised that that was all I wanted. All I needed. 

Sure, Chris loved me. But not like that, not in the same way. I wanted to love someone and be loved as deeply and sincerely as that. 

It hadn't just been a kiss to anyone in the room. Ricky was blushing, but smiling to himself as he slipped out. Chris looked at peace, waving before he closed the front door. And I stood there dumbly, reeling from the revelation. 

Chris looked at me. “Are you okay?”

I blinked, the spell broken. “Y-yeah..” 

~~~ 

Gerard was waiting for me outside when I got to lunch. He hadn't been around that morning. He was sitting on a bench outside the gym, reading something on his phone. His soft red hair had fallen down, hiding his face. I stood there for a second, watching him before he noticed me. Then he looked up and I dropped my backpack, stepping towards him. 

“Hey Frankie.”

I leaned down and kissed him. 

Gerard quickly but gently pushed me away, laughing. Confused, I tried to step back, but he caught my arm. “Sorry, Frankie. Sorry. Come sit down..”

Shaking, I sat down next to him, my eyes wide. “I'm sorry, I didn't-”

Gerard giggled and grabbed my jaw, kissing me briefly. “Shut up!”

I swallowed, staring at him nervously as he grinned at me, his face still inches from mine. 

“Jesus, Frank. I was waiting for you to do that, but I didn't expect it to be so sudden!”

I smiled sheepishly, biting my lip lightly. “Sorry. I um...yeah.”

Gerard leaned back, giggling as he watched me, his cheeks almost as red as his hair. I blushed, rubbing my eyes. 

“Why?”

I looked at him and shrugged. “I'm sick of waiting.”

“But why did you change your mind so suddenly? I mean...I didn't see that coming at all,” Gerard smiled, gently taking one of my hands and squeezing it. 

“I saw Ricky with Chris last night,” I mumbled, looking down at our hands. “How much they love each other. I want that.”

Gerard kissed me again, this time slipping his spare hand into my hair and pulling me closer. I wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him as we kissed. I let him pull away first, smiling nervously at me. “I'm...I have no idea what I'm doing...I'm sorry.”

I smiled and stroked my thumb over his cheek, resting my forehead on his. “It's okay, I don't care right now. You'll pick it up.”

He let out a soft breath and closed his eyes. “Fuck, I wanna go home..”

I frowned, leaning back slightly. “Why? What's wrong?”

Gerard smiled and looked at me, his hazel eyes soft and caring. “Because I want to cuddle with you and kiss you and I can't do that at school.”

I bit my lip lightly. “We could skip?”

Gerard shook his head slowly. “No, my mum would kill me. But we can go right after school. I want to just talk to you for a while.”

The way he said it immediately made me worried. “About what?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “There's a couple things I haven't told you about myself and I just feel you ought to know them. That's all. It's nothing bad.”

He smiled at me, but something was off about it. 

“You're nervous about it,” I pointed out quietly. Gerard nodded. 

“I've never told anyone about it before.”

“Should I be worried?”

He shook his head and stroked my cheek slowly. “No. I'll tell you as soon as we get home after school, okay?”

“Is it a big deal?” I insisted, chewing on my lip. 

Gerard nodded slightly. “Kind of. But don't worry about it, Frankie. It shouldn't affect...us. If I can call this that.”

I smiled as brightly as I could. “Yes. Yes, I'd like this to be an us.”

He giggled and opened his arms. “Hug?”

I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his shoulder as I relaxed for the first time that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little drama and a little cute stuff :) Poor Frankie was just confused and scared..  
> What's Gerard going to tell Frankie? I have a feeling you guys can probably guess


	10. Chapter 10

**F**

I kissed him as the door swung shut behind us and he giggled, gently taking my hand. He led me upstairs, smiling to himself as he pushed a door open and tugged me inside. My chest tightened when I saw the bed, and Gerard stopped, glancing back at me. 

“Frank? You okay?”    


I took a step back, my fingers slipping from his.    


“Frankie, we’re not gonna do anything,” Gerard said quickly, smiling at me comfortingly. “I just wanted somewhere a little more private to talk. We can sit on the floor if you like.” 

I nodded shakily, swallowing hard. Gerard took my hand again, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles soothingly as he led me into the bedroom. He sat down on the carpet by the wall, pulling me down next to him. I shivered as I curled up with my back against the wall. Gerard smiled at me, stroking my cheek slowly. “Shh..you’ve been in here before, Frankie, why are you scared now?”   


I shrugged and he sighed, fixing my hair gently. “Okay. Well, I promise there’s nothing to be worried about.”    


I looked at him and took a deep breath, folding my hands in my lap in an attempt to stop them shaking. “What was it that you wanted to tell me?” 

Gerard frowned, suddenly looking nervous. “Um. Well...it’s hard for me to talk about, Frankie, I-”    


“You’ve never told anyone before,” I finished quietly. “Like I never told anyone half of the things I talk to you about.”    


He gulped, looking guilty and anxious. “Y-yeah, but this is...d-different.” 

I stared at him and he took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. He looked down at the floor, avoiding my gaze. “Have you ever heard the term ‘intersex’ before, Frankie?” 

I relaxed slightly, shaking my head. This was just going to be about his gender. I could handle this. But why was he so nervous? 

“Sorry, Gerard, I haven’t.” 

“Well..it’s used to talk about someone whose biological sex doesn’t fit into male or female. Medically speaking.”    


I frowned, running a hand through my hair. “I don’t understand, Gerard. I’m not..I’m not good at this stuff..” 

He looked at me and my eyes widened as a tear spilled down his cheek. I quickly dug in my pocket, tugging out a tissue and handing it to him. He smiled slightly and sniffed, wiping the tear away. “I’m okay. I’m just...this is hard.”    


I nodded and kissed his forehead. “I know how that feels, Gerard. Take your time.”    


“Thanks.” 

Gerard stared at the floor for a while, gathering his thoughts. I waited patiently, holding his hand loosely. 

“Okay. So you know about X and Y chromosomes from biology, right?”    


I nodded slightly, smiling at him. “It’s a miracle that I remember, but I know what you’re talking about.”    


He smiled nervously. “Well, for some people, that gets messed up. And they turn out...different.”    


Light was beginning to dawn at this point and I squeezed his hand gently. “Okay.” 

“I’m one of those people,” Gerard murmured, watching my face worriedly. “I have this thing they call ovotesticular disorder of sex development...and yeah. It’s a ridiculously long name.” 

He laughed shakily, sniffing. 

I smiled uncertainly and kissed his forehead. “I have no idea what that means.” 

Gerard giggled, relaxing slightly as he leaned into me. 

“But I won’t judge you for being different, Gerard. It won’t make you any less of a person to me, or any less attractive and kind and interesting. I’m...I just..can you explain a little more?”    


He nodded, resting his head against my shoulder. “Yeah...I um. Well. I have male and female reproductive tissue, so...this is really weird to talk about.” 

I chuckled and brushed my knuckles over his cheek. “Yep. I feel you. You can tell me it in more general terms if you like.” 

Gerard shifted. “Okay. It’s different for pretty much everyone, I think...but my body can produce both types of sex cells, if that makes sense..”   


“Like a hermaphrodite? Isn’t that something that only happens in plants?”    


He giggled and shook his head slightly. “No, slugs are I think.”    


We both laughed and I wrapped an arm around him tightly. “Okay, so maybe that was a stupid thing to say, but I’m trying really hard to understand..”    


Gerard smiled and squeezed my hand gently. “I know, Frankie. But um. My genitals are uh...different. I don’t really have...the usual stuff.”    


I nodded slightly, feeling very very much out of my depth. “Okay.”    


“So I um...my doctor isn’t entirely sure, but he thinks I could carry a baby. And if they managed to extract some of my sperm, I could probably father a baby too. But uh..not easily.”    


I ran my fingers through his hair slowly, humming softly. “That’s kinda cool.”

Gerard rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I guess. I just...I wish I was normal. I just...sometimes I really hate-”    


“Don’t say that,” I interrupted gently. “You’re amazing, Gerard.” I nuzzled the side of his head, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “To be quite honest, after the life I’ve had so far, I’m not really one to care much about genitals, or whatever else. If we can’t have sex in the way that I’m used to, that would probably suit me perfectly. If we ever get to that stage, anyway. And there are a lot of people like me, I’ll bet. That aren’t too worried about what’s in your jeans or those cat tights you like.”   


“But-”   


“Shh. I know it’s hard to feel good about yourself sometimes, I understand. But I want you to know that I think you’re flawless, Gerard. You’re unspeakably unique and I absolutely love that about you. I wish you'd told me sooner, but I know you were scared. I really care about you, Gerard.” 

~ 

When Gerard had finished crying, I walked him downstairs and we served ourselves up bowls of ice cream, Gerard insisting on adding gummy bears to his. I rolled his eyes and helped him anyway, kissing his cheek. No one else was home yet, so we curled up on the couch together to eat.    


“Gerard?”    


He looked at me, giggling softly. “You have ice cream on your nose, Frank.”    


I stuck my tongue out at him and wiped it off, then sighed. “Um. Can you tell me more about this intersex thing? I want to understand properly.” 

Gerard smiled at me and shuffled closer. “What do you wanna know?” 

I tilted my head slightly. “Well, I mean...you have both sets of hormones, right? How does that work?” 

He sighed and bit his lip, thinking for a second. “Well. Um, how about I start from the beginning a little? Would that help?”    


I nodded, stealing one of the gummy bears from his bowl. He slapped my hand gently. 

“Okay. You know my birth mother left me at the hospital, right? Well, she left me because the doctors told her I was intersex. They said she’d have to raise me carefully or pay for an expensive surgery to ‘fix’ me.”    


I pulled a face, shaking my head slightly. “You don’t need fixing.”    


Gerard smiled at me, nodding. “Yeah, exactly. So my parents adopted me and decided to raise me super carefully. They didn’t think they were able to have children, so they looked after me really well..”    


“Hold on. So where does Mikey fit in?” 

He shrugged. “A couple months after they adopted me, Mum found out she was pregnant. She likes to say it was karma for adopting me, but my dad just rolls his eyes.”    


I smiled, setting my empty bowl aside and rubbing Gerard’s knee lightly. 

“Anyway. They raised me to make my own choices and they raised me as neither a boy or a girl. So I had dresses when I was little and I had jeans, I played with Barbies and action figures. Like every kid should, but that’s a whole other thing. When I hit puberty, I started to get periods and I started to develop breast tissue. I absolutely  _ hated _ it. I was completely miserable, so my parents took me to a therapist.”    


I watched him as he paused, poking at the gummy bears now swimming in melted vanilla ice cream. “Um. Yeah. So I went on testosterone. But I really liked feminine things and I liked my face the way it was and I didn’t really want a deeper voice, so I’m on a low dose. I have to keep taking it probably for the rest of my life, unless I get...other surgery. And I had surgery to remove my breast tissue. So..yeah. I like my body a little more masculine, but I also like to present more feminine, I don’t know. I guess I’m just-”    


“Unique,” I said firmly, smiling at him. “Not weird or strange. Unique. I can’t imagine having to make those choices. Was it hard?”    


Gerard nodded slightly. “Yeah, I was really scared and depressed for a while, but my family supported me really well and I got through it. I still have issues sometimes, but they’re mostly about other things..”    


He said it dismissively, but I frowned. “What do you mean?”   


He sighed and poked at his gummy bear soup. “I um. Can get really...controlling about my weight sometimes. I don’t really like the way I gain weight, because it distributes kind of strangely. Like I gain it in my thighs and belly a lot, but not really anywhere else? I don’t know. I’m doing okay now, but sometimes I just go through phases.” 

I nodded and brushed his hair behind his ears slowly. “Okay. We can keep an eye on it together.”    


Gerard looked at me and smiled, just staring at me.    


“What?”    


“I love how you said that so casually. That we’ll do it together. It was really sweet, like you didn’t even have to think about it.”    


I frowned. “I didn’t. You’re my friend, and maybe something else to me as well, and I care about you. I’ll help you with anything.” 

He set his bowl down on the coffee table and smiled at me. “Kiss me?” 

I grinned and shrugged, looking away. “Maybe I don’t wanna.”    


Gerard whined and shoved my chest. “Don’t tease me, Frankie! I was worried you wouldn’t want to be my friend after I told you..” 

I turned my head to look at him, frowning. “Really? Is that why you were so nervous?”    


Gerard sighed, nodding slightly. “Yeah. It’s kind of why I haven’t really dated anyone before, too. I usually push people away before it gets romantic because I’m scared of telling them.”    


I cupped his jaw in my hands, smiling at him. “I’m not going anywhere, Gerard.”    


I kissed him softly, tilting my head slightly as he deepened the kiss tentatively, his fingers tangling in my hair. He swung himself into my lap agilely, stroking my cheeks as I started to move my lips slowly, my hands running down his sides. 

The front door slammed and Gerard jumped off me, giggling as he curled up on the couch next to me. I went bright red, looking up as Mikey walked into the living room, his backpack over one shoulder. He glared at me and opened his mouth to say something, but Gerard cut in first.    


“I told him, Mikey,” Gerard said quietly, but the excitement in his voice was obvious. 

“And?” Mikey was still glaring at me, but with slightly less aggression. 

“And he thinks I’m flawless.” Gerard grinned, tilting his chin up almost smugly.   


I felt like my face was about to melt off, but I smiled, gently taking Gerard’s hand. Mikey relaxed, but pointed a finger at his brother. 

“Mum and Dad are gonna be pissed. Maybe refrain from making out with him seconds before they walk in the door.” 

Gerard just laughed and Mikey rolled his eyes, winking at me as he walked upstairs. I bit my lip, taking a deep breath. 

Gerard kissed my cheek. “He’s being silly, Frank, it’s alright. I’ll say I told you at school and they won’t be angry.”    


I looked at him, chewing on my lip. “Um. Gerard, I don’t want to be your boyfriend.”    


He blinked, then gritted his teeth and went to get up. I grabbed his arm quickly. 

“No! Shit, I didn’t...that didn’t come out right...please sit down, Gerard…”    


He sighed and shook me off, turning to face me but not sitting down. 

“I don’t want to yet, Gee. I really really care about you and I need time to adjust to kissing you and liking you and spending time with you in a different way without...labeling it. I was sick of pretending to myself that I didn’t like you, but that doesn’t mean I’m ditching the idea of going slow with this. I need it to be slow, Gee.”    


Gerard stared at me, then shook his head slightly, looking away. “I hate you.”    


My breath caught in my throat.    


“I hate you cause you want me to go slow and I just wanna spend all my nights with you. And I hate you cause you just came up with a really cute nickname and it makes me wanna cry..”    


I relaxed immediately, smiling up at him. “Cuddle?”    


Gerard grinned and nodded, curling up next to me and hugging me tightly. I wrapped an arm around him, holding him close to me. 

~~~ 

Gerard was asleep, his head on my shoulder and his body curled up against mine. The tv was playing quietly. It was Saturday and Chris was out with Ricky, so I’d invited Gerard over to watch movies for most of the day, as he was sick and didn’t feel like doing much else. I heard the key in the door and covered Gerard’s ears as the front door swung open. 

“Frank?”    


“Shh!” 

Chris walked into the living room and grinned at me. “Cute. I thought Ricky could come in and stay for dinner, is that okay?” he asked, keeping his voice down. I nodded. 

“As long as Gerard can stay over.”    


“Yes, but not in your room. You can sleep down here.”    


I smiled, running my fingers through Gerard’s hair. “Okay. He’s not feeling well.”    


Chris sighed. “Poor thing. I can go fetch some cold medicine if you like?”    


I shook my head slightly. “I think it’s more of a tummy bug, he’s got stomachache and he’s super tired.” 

“Okay. I’m gonna go start making dinner with Ricky, I’ll shut the kitchen door.”    


I gave him a thumbs up and watched him walk out of the room. Gerard stirred slightly and I kissed the top of his head, stroking his cheek. His eyes opened slowly and he groaned softly. 

“Are you feeling any better, Gee?” 

He nodded, snuggling closer to me. “Mhm.” 

“Does it not hurt so much?”    


Gerard shook his head, closing his eyes again. 

“I reckon you must’ve eaten something weird, then,” I hummed, stroking his cheek slowly. “At least you feel better now. Ricky’s staying for dinner, and Chris said you can stay overnight if you like.”    


Gerard smiled sleepily and I kissed his temple. “I’m worried about you. Are you sure you feel okay?”    


He nodded again, opening his eyes and lifting his head as he yawned. “I didn’t really sleep last night. I just need to catch up on a few hours.”    


I tucked his hair behind his ears. “Why didn’t you sleep?”    


Gerard gently pulled away from me to stretch, yawning again. “I dunno. Just couldn’t seem to drift off. I’ll be okay, seriously.”    


“Okay,” I murmured, kissing him softly. He grinned and pulled me closer, letting me deepen the kiss slightly. 

“Oops.”    


I broke away from Gerard quickly, feeling my cheeks go red as I looked up at Ricky. He smiled. 

“I came in at the wrong time, sorry guys. Dinner’s ready..” 

Gerard looked at me as he left the room, his cheeks pale. “Does Chris know about this?” 

I nodded quickly, pecking his lips again. “Yes, there’s nothing to worry about.” 

I started to get up, but Gerard gently grabbed my leg. “Frankie?”    


I frowned, stroking his hair. “What?”    


“Did you tell Chris about me?” 

I blinked and shook my head, stroking Gerard’s cheek. “No, Gee. You told me in confidence and I didn’t know if it was something it was ok to share or not.” 

Gerard bit his lip softly. “I don’t mind him knowing as long as he doesn’t tell anyone else.”    


“Okay, Gee. I’ll remember that, but we gotta go sit down at the table.” 

~ 

I pushed my empty plate away and smiled at Chris. “Thanks, that was nice.”    


Gerard looked up next to me, smiling sheepishly. “It was, I just..” 

Chris shrugged. “It’s fine if you’re not feeling well, Gerard, I understand.” 

Ricky smiled at me and I gritted my teeth. “Did you have a good day, Frank?”

I shrugged. “I guess. Most of my morning was dealing with Gerard throwing up.”

Gerard sighed, looking down at his lap. I rubbed the outside of his thigh lightly and he closed his eyes for a few seconds. 

Ricky seemed at a loss of what to say and Chris was watching me. I stood up suddenly, making Gerard jump. “I'm gonna clear the plates.”

I started stacking plates, hurrying into the kitchen with them. I heard light footsteps behind me and Gerard rubbed my back slowly. “Are you okay, Frankie?”

“I'm not sure,” I answered honestly, starting to load the dishwasher. I glanced at him and found myself feeling glad that he was wearing a t shirt and jeans, then immediately feeling guilty. 

“Frankie, calm down a second and take a few breaths. It's alright..”

He tried to touch my shoulder and I slapped him away, my breathing getting shorter. Gerard blinked and turned, walking out of the kitchen. I nearly dropped the plate I was holding.  _ You fucking ruined it. He's walking away because you slapped him. _

I almost started to cry when Gerard walked back in less than a minute later, followed by Chris, who walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped and tried to shake it off, but his grip was much firmer than Gerard's as he leaned down. 

“Frank. You're having a panic attack, hon. Can you take some deep breaths for me?”

I shook my head, scratching at his wrist as I tried to pull his hand off my shoulder. 

“Frank, calm down,” he said slowly, stroking my hair with his other hand. I dodged away, my breath hitching. 

“Frankie,” Gerard spoke softly, gently pushing Chris away from me and taking his place. He cupped my jaw in his hands and kissed me, just briefly, then wrapped his arms around me tightly, cradling my head against his shoulder. “Shh, Frankie. Your Gee won't let anything hurt you. It's alright..”

He started to sway slightly, rocking me back and forth as I buried my face in his chest, trembling. “Come on, Frankie. Calm down, calm down. You're okay, you are. You wanna go upstairs to your room and sit in the quiet for a while?”

I nodded quickly, clinging to his arm as he broke away carefully, leading me upstairs. “Come on, Frankie..”

I stumbled in the hall and Gerard hummed softly, gently pulling me into my room and over to the bed. I crawled under the covers, hiding in the middle of the bed. I felt Gerard sit down on the edge and just laid there for a while, waiting for my breathing to get back to normal. 

When I stuck my head out, my eyes widened. Gerard had his back to me, his shirt off. As I watched, he turned around, slipping one of my shirts on over his head. He spotted me and smiled. “Hey. I hope you don't mind if I borrow some pajamas.” 

I shook my head slightly, sitting up. Gerard grinned. “Your hair is sticking up. It's cute.”

I flipped him off and slipped out of bed, tugging my shirt off. I walked past Gerard, grabbing a clean shirt from the drawer. 

“Jesus.”

I blinked at him and he blushed. “Sorry, Frank. I didn't know you were that toned.”

I chuckled and shrugged, putting the shirt on before kissing his cheek. “Well. I am.”

“Good.”

Gerard turned away as I changed my trousers, then smiled at me as I shifted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“Let's go downstairs.”

~ 

Chris had gone to bed, and it was just Gerard and I, curled up together in the sofa bed, watching tv practically on mute. Gerard shifted and snuggled up to my chest, throwing an arm around me. “Mmph.”

I smiled down at him sleepily, running my fingers through his hair. “Cutie. Are you tired?”

Gerard nodded slightly, yawning and trying to press even more of his body up against mine. I let my eyes slip closed, Gerard's quiet, rhythmic breathing slowly lulling me to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is alright :)   
> The next chapter will have a little smut in which I am terrible at writing so please excuse that. Chapter 12 will also have some smut and chapter 13 is 99% smut so if you're not really a fan of smut (or of my smut lol) then I suggest you skip 13.   
> Logan <3


	11. Chapter 11

**G**

_ Frank's tongue ran up my stomach, his hands on my sides. He smirked at me as I shivered, spreading my legs for him. He licked his lips, grinning as he leaned over me, his hips against mine as he kissed me softly. I moaned quietly and bucked my hips, relaxing slightly just before Frank moved back down my body, running his tongue over me. I arched my back and let out a soft cry, tangling my fingers in his hair as his hands came up, his fingers curling around my hipbones.  _

 ~

Frank was gently shaking me. “Gee! Wake up, Gee. Chris said he'd take you home at ten and it's ten fifteen.”

“Shit!”

I sat up quickly, blinking at Frank. He grinned at me and I gulped. It was the same lopsided grin from my dream. “I've put your clothes and stuff in a bag, Gee, all you gotta do is put your shoes on.”

I nodded, getting up and hurrying to the door. I tugged my converse on and felt Frank's arms lock around my waist. “Kiss?”

I turned and kissed him quickly, feeling the color rise in my cheeks. Frank handed me the bag. “Chris is waiting in the car, okay? Call me later.”

I nodded, jogging out to the car and climbing into the passenger side. Chris smiled at me, waiting until my seatbelt was buckled before driving off. 

“Did you have a fun night?”

I shrugged and smiled. “We fell asleep like half an hour after you went to bed. But it was just nice to cuddle with him and fall asleep with him like that..”

I trailed off, biting my lip as I blushed. 

“He said he didn't have any nightmares, which is rare for him at the moment. Maybe you should sleep over more often.”

I smiled at him, nodding slightly. “I'd like that. Chris?”

“Yes?” He glanced at me before pulling the car over. “I can tell you have something important to say.”

I took a deep breath. “I told Frank a few days ago...but I'm intersex.”

Chris blinked and nodded. “Okay...I know a little about that, but not much. How did he take it?”

“Better than I expected,” I smiled shyly, running a hand through my hair. “He said I'm unique and stuff.”

Chris smiled, leaning back in his seat. “Good. And I'm glad you could tell him. He's a good kid, he's just-”

“Been through a lot,” I interrupted softly. “But he's kind and caring and he's so very gentle with me. I really like him.”

“Well he really likes you,” Chris chuckled, cracking his knuckles. “He thinks the world of you, Gerard. I just hope you take care of him.”

I bit my lip and sighed. “He doesn't always want me to take care of him. He likes trying to take care of me. And um. Neither of us are ready for any kind of...intimacy. Frank's still very...scared, and I'm just not ready. Um. He doesn't even want to call me his boyfriend yet.” 

Chris nodded slightly. “Frank struggles with labels sometimes, he can find them constricting. Was that all you wanted to tell me?”

I smiled slightly and ran a hand through my hair again. “Yeah. I just thought you should know.” 

 ~

I climbed into the bath, sinking back into the water. Mikey and my parents had gone out for some kind of conference thing and I had the house to myself. I closed my eyes, biting my lip harshly as my dream came flooding back, the sight of Frank’s tongue running over my short shaft making my whole body tingle. I sank back further, spreading my legs slightly as I ran my hand own over my chest and stomach. I slid my hand lower and started to rub myself with my fingers, gasping softly and rolling my hips up, imagining that my fingers were Frank's soft tongue. I ran my other hand down my thigh, slipping a finger into myself and letting out a quiet moan. I imagined Frank's grip on my thighs, his hot, wet breath against me, and his smirk as he watched me writhe and squeal. My back arched up again and I shuddered before falling back against the tub. I panted for a few seconds, my hands shaking as I curled up happily. 

 ~

I had just finished drying off when my phone rang. I answered it, putting it on speaker. “Hey.”

“Hiya,” Frank murmured. “How are you?”

I blinked, feeling the blush rising in my cheeks. “I'm good. What're you up to?”

“Homework. Chris and I are going out to dinner tonight to talk about Ricky.” Frank's voice was flat. 

“And I'm guessing you don't want to.”

“Is that bad? I mean, it's my fault he's here and I just get so angry when he's around..”

I chuckled and twisted my hair around one finger. “You're jealous, Frankie. It's just been you and Chris, and now Ricky is coming in and taking up Chris's time and attention. It's normal.”

Frank sighed quietly, and I could hear papers being ruffled. “Gee?”

“Yes, love?”

“Should I burn my file? Chris gave it to me yesterday.”

I cleared my throat and bit my lip lightly. “It's up to you, Frankie.”

“Um..” He sniffed and I heard paper tearing. “I'm gonna...I'm gonna give you some of it. The records, not the evaluations and shit...I want you to know everything about me, but...I can't tell you.”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose lightly. “Are you sure, Frankie?” I asked softly. 

“Yes. I've been thinking about it for a while. I want my  _ boyfriend _ to know me. All of me.”

I inhaled sharply, closing my eyes for a few seconds. “Thank you, Frankie. So so much.”

“I trust you,” he mumbled, and his voice was thick, accompanied by sniffs.  

“Don't cry, Frankie,” I soothed, wishing I could give him a hug. “Don't cry. I trust you too, Frankie.”

“Th-thanks...I’ll drop it by on the way to dinner.”

“Okay, love. I'll be here, waiting.”

~ 

Frank was shaking as he handed over the folder. I set it on my desk, then pulled him into a tight hug. “I like you, Frankie.”

He hugged back tightly and I kissed the side of his head. “Gee.”

When Frank gently broke away, I pulled him into a kiss, wrapping my arm around his waist. He leaned into me, clinging to my shirt desperately. 

“Shh,” I soothed, stroking his hair as he started to shake. “Come on. You can call me tonight, yeah? I promise.”

I took his hand, holding it tightly as I led him downstairs and out of the front door. I helped him into Chris's car, pecking him on the lips. “Have a fun evening, Frankie. You'll be okay.”

Chris smiled at me and I closed the door, stepping back onto my driveway to watch them go. 

I sighed and walked inside, going straight up to my desk and opening the file. 

The first page was an overview timeline. Frank had had the same foster home between when he was three and ten. Apparently it had been a good fit until they'd had a new baby. Then he was in one from eleven to fourteen, and after the police found out that he'd been abused, he was sent somewhere else for only a year. They'd given him back because he was too ‘difficult.’ And his last home for two years had been the people who broke his knee. I sighed, running a finger down the page. No wonder Chris had just yanked him out. 

I turned to the next page and winced. There were pictures of fourteen-year old Frank, cuts and bruises all over his back. He was bleeding all over, curled up in a ball, hugging his knees. I flipped to the next one and sighed, rubbing my forehead. There was blood all down his face, dripping off his chin. The black eye was so swollen his eye was completely closed. I left the rest of the pictures and went on in the file. The next set of pictures were worse, and I gagged as I looked at the first one. Frank was sprawled on a stone floor, his knee twisted oddly. Blood was smeared all over the backs and insides of his thighs, and glistened on the whip welts on his back. The next picture was an X-ray. Frank had had to have seven pins in his knee, and a plate on his shin. I flipped to the next one. Frank was curled up in a hospital bed, one of those little oxygen tubes under his nose and a blood bag as well as a drip feeding into his arms. He was asleep, but somehow still looked frightened and ready to run at any moment. 

The last one made me smile. It had clearly been taken by Chris, as it was a picture of Frank standing on their porch, leaning on a pair of crutches. He was smiling, just slightly, but I could see the nervousness written all over his face. 

I scanned through the notes, my throat tight. Frank had been in hospital for two weeks, and nearly succumbed to very advanced pneumonia. His foster parents had fled and left him in their house, but neighbors had heard him calling for help a few days later. Unfortunately, living in a cold, damp basement had taken its toll. Chris had apparently taken over Frank's case when he was in hospital, as he often worked with kids in crisis, but once he'd read the file, he'd refused to let Frank go back to another foster home.

‘He has no faith in the system, why should he? He's a terrified kid and he needs more than just a house and two people. He needs a home and a family.’ 

There were a couple more notes in Chris's messy handwriting. Frank had gone back to hospital a week after he'd been released due to a kidney infection. That had taken another week to clear up before he was home ‘for good.’ Apparently he'd been very difficult to start with, refusing to talk to Chris or eat any of the food he offered him. He'd only eat food from a sealed package. Chris suspected that he'd been drugged multiple times before. Frank had hid in his room most days, under the covers or even under the bed. Chris had managed to get him to eat something after about ten days, and then the notes ended. 

I leaned my elbows on my desk and buried my face in my hands, shaking slightly. Frank had bounced back in an unbelievably short time, which either meant that Chris was a magician or that Frank was still hurting. A lot. 

~ 

I jumped when my phone rang and I picked it up quickly, drying my eyes. “Hey Frankie..”

“Hi,” he mumbled, his voice small. 

“Did you have a nice dinner?”

“I guess.”

I sighed quietly, twirling my hair around my finger. “I read the file, Frankie.”

There was a short pause. 

“I wish I could cuddle the shit out of you right now,” I murmured, rubbing my forehead. 

Frank sniffed and took a deep breath. “I'm okay.”

“You don't sound okay. Do you want me to go over there? It's only..” I glanced at the clock. “It's only seven. I could be there for a couple of hours.”

Frank sniffed again, whimpering. 

“Please.”

 ~

I climbed into bed with Frank, pulling him close to me slowly. He buried his face in my neck and I just held him for a while, stroking up and down his back. “You're okay, Frankie. You're safe now,” I murmured, running my fingers through his hair. “I'm not letting anything happen to you, and neither will Chris..”

Frank started to shake and I sighed, lifting his chin. I wiped the tears off his cheeks as he stared at me, his expression beyond sad. “Oh Frankie,” I mumbled, kissing his forehead. “It's okay..”

I kissed him softly, pulling him closer to me and stroking his hair as he kissed back desperately, his lips salty. He broke away suddenly and buried his face in my chest again. I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair again, picking my phone up from the bedside table. I opened Chris's contact and pressed the text button. 

**Me, 19:17:**

**Frank won't stop crying and idk what to do??**

 

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door and Chris slipped in, looking worried. “What's going on?”

I shrugged, still stroking Frank's hair slowly. “I don't know, he just won't stop crying..”

Chris sighed and walked over, squeezing Frank's shoulder gently. “Frankie? What's got you so upset?”

Frank lifted his head slightly, but didn't say anything as he pressed himself closer to me. Chris smiled sadly and shook his head. “I think he's just overwhelmed, Gerard. He gets like this sometimes and you just kind of have to wait it out. Sometimes singing to him helps, he likes that. Hey, Frank?”

Frank nodded almost imperceptibly, his fingers curling against my side. 

“Alright. Thanks, Chris. We’ll be okay, I think. I have to go home in about an hour and a half, though.”

“Okay. Well, let me know when you head out and I'll walk you back.”

I smiled at him and watched him leave, shutting the door behind him quietly. 

Frank shifted, sniffling. I ran my fingers through his hair again. “Shh, baby. Um. I don't know many good songs..”

He started to shake again and I sighed, hugging him tighter. “When the rain is blowing in your face..”

By the time I'd finished the song, Frank had relaxed, his breathing more even. He lifted his head and kissed me, spreading his hands on my cheeks. 

I blushed, kissing back eagerly as he rolled me onto my back, leaning over me. I tensed slightly, waiting for him to roll his hips or break away to lift up my shirt, but he just kept kissing me, his body hovering over mine. When he finally broke the kiss, he collapsed next to me, holding my hand tightly. “I'm scared, Gee.”

I rolled onto my side quickly, stroking his chest. “Of what?”

“Loving you. Having sex with you..”

“Well...we don't have to do any of that, then. We haven't been together long, I doubt we'll be in love just y-”

“I love you.”

I hesitated, Frank's voice was so soft and shaky I thought I must have heard him wrong. 

“I love you,” he repeated. “I do. I love spending time with you and being around you. You're such an amazing person..”

“Frankie, I-”

“I'm not in love with you yet. But I love you.”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I'm not sure how I feel yet, Frankie. I'm sorry.”

Frank smiled faintly, turning his head to face me. “Don't be sorry, it's okay. People reach different emotions at different times.”

I nodded slightly, kissing his cheek. “I do care about you, Frank. A lot.”    
He blinked slowly. “I know.” 

I ran my fingertips down his arm, slipping my hand into his and squeezing gently. “I wish I could make all the pain go away, Frankie,” I murmured, watching him as he looked away. 

“I don’t know if it’ll ever go away completely.” 

I sighed and kissed his cheek again. “Don’t think like that, Frankie. It will one day.” 

 ~

I shrugged my coat on, glancing up at Chris as he walked over. “He’s asleep,” I said quietly. “I’m not sure if he’ll stay asleep for long, but he seems relaxed for now.”    


“Thanks,” Chris smiled, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad you came over.”    


I opened the front door and slipped out, Chris following me and shutting the door behind him as quietly as he could. 

“He said he loved me today,” I mumbled, tugging my hood up and shoving my hands in my pockets. “I didn’t know what to say.” 

Chris shrugged. “That’s the problem with Frank. He keeps getting hurt because he just...cares too much. Not that, y’know, I think you two are a bad couple, I just worry because he’s never really loved anyone who loved him back.”    


I sighed, rubbing the side of my face. “It’s not that I don’t care for him, I love him as a friend, I know that. I’m just not there yet romantically.” 

He smiled at me and shrugged again. “And that’s okay. You can’t force something like that. Just let it happen.”   


“I’m frightened.” 

“Of what?” 

I looked up at him and bit my lip softly. “Everything. I’m scared of him loving me, and what if I never love him back? I’m scared of what happens when he wants more from me.”    


“What kind of more?” Chris asked softly, slowing down slightly. 

“Sex,” I answered bluntly, looking down at the ground. 

“Why?” 

I shrugged, stopping just after he did. “Because I’m different.”    


“What kind of different?”    


I glared at him. “I’m intersex, I told you.”    


Chris nodded calmly. “Yes, but there’s lots of different kinds of intersex.”    


I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”    


He smiled, walking me to a bench nearby and sitting down. I stood for a while, glaring at him, then sighed and sat down next to him. 

“Look at me, Gerard. Frank does love you, and he knows what it’s like to be forced to do something you don’t wanna do. If you say no to him, he will stop. Do you understand?” 

I nodded slightly, not really looking at him.    


“There’s nothing to be scared of, Gerard. Sex is...it’s different for everyone, yeah? And I know it might be particularly different for you, but Frank can be patient. It might be awkward and weird and embarrassing the first couple times, even painful, I’m not gonna lie, but you’ll get through that phase and then when it’s more natural for you and him, you’ll start to enjoy it a lot more. Everyone has a bit of a tricky start, it’s normal. Losing your virginity is not usually very pretty.”    


I rubbed my eyes, a little shaky. “You’re a lot more open about this than my parents.”    


Chris nodded, tucking his hair behind his ears. “I have to be. I have to talk to kids about sexual abuse and rape and protection and all that stuff, it’s part of my job. And there’s no point beating around the bush when I’m talking to Frank, because he’s been there and done it. If I know Frank as well as I think I do, you don’t need to worry about your first time. He lost his virginity by  force when he was eleven, and I doubt they were gentle with him. He’ll go over the top to make your first time perfect, I’m sure. Just be glad at least one of you knows what you’re doing.”    


I giggled shyly and shrugged. “So you’re not worried about...us?”    


“Of course not. Frank’s nearly an adult and there’s no point in trying to control what he does in the bedroom. He’s not an idiot, he knows how to use a condom, and I know he’d never hurt anyone.” 

I blinked, running a hand through my hair slowly. “Okay. I don’t think my parents would say that about me.” 

Chris chuckled and shook his head. “You’re a little younger, Gerard, and a little more vulnerable. I’ll have a chat with your parents about this, yeah? I don’t really care what Frank does, but if your parents are worried about it, I’ll talk to him.”    


I shook my head quickly. “No, please. I want...I want to make my own choice. I don’t want my parents to control what I do with my body. I’m not stupid enough to do anything unsafe with Frank.”    


He narrowed his eyes and sighed. “I have to at least let them know what’s going on between you two. I can’t let you and Frank do something under my roof that’ll get you in trouble. I’m a responsible adult, unfortunately.”    


I swallowed and nodded. “Okay. I understand.”    


Chris rubbed my shoulder lightly, smiling at me. “Do you feel a little better about things?”    


I nodded again, flashing him a small smile. “Thanks.”    


“Anytime. Let’s get you home.”    


~

I was getting ready for bed when Mum slipped into my room. 

“Gerard? Can we have a talk?”    


I nodded slightly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, already figuring it would be about my conversation with Chris.   


“Frank’s...dad stayed for a while after he dropped you off. He said some stuff about you guys dating?” 

Mum walked over, sitting down next to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her slightly. “Yeah. We um. We’ve been kissing and holding hands and stuff. He’s really sweet.” 

She sighed and stroked my hair. “Chris was talking about you guys taking it further...are you planning on it anytime soon?”    


I shrugged, looking down at my lap and fiddling with my fingers awkwardly. “I don’t know. I’m a little scared to and Frank...he’s not overly interested in sex.” 

“But do you want to?”    


I blushed and rubbed my eyes. “I had a dream about him...I guess I do want to, I’m just nervous..” 

Mum brushed the backs of her fingers down my cheek. “I wish you weren’t growing up so fast, Gerard,” she murmured. I smiled sadly and shrugged. “But look...I know you’ve had the talk and all and Chris says he trusts Frank to be sensible..but I still want you to tell me, yeah? If you’re planning on it or if you do it. I’m not gonna tell you not to, but I want to be there for you. Do you want to have a talk with your doctor?”    


I shook my head slightly. “No, I’ll be okay. I want to figure this out on my own. Frank has condoms and stuff, I promise we’ll be safe. And I don’t think we’re going to do anything anytime soon anyway. He’s still going through some stuff.” 

She nodded and kissed my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ears. “Just be careful, Gerard. I’d better let you get to bed..I love you.”    


“I love you too, Mum,” I smiled, watching as she got up, blowing me a kiss before walking out. I turned the light off and climbed under the covers, curling up. I eventually drifted off to sleep, still thinking about Frank. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the smut wasn't too terrible, there will be more coming up. I have some stuff written and some stuff planned for this story that I don't think you guys are gonna like much...


	12. Chapter 12

**F**

I rubbed the plastic wrap over the new tattoo on my arm, waiting for Gerard. I had gone straight to the tattoo parlour after school, and was now waiting for my  _ boyfriend  _ to finish his after school photography class. 

The word still sent a shiver down my spine. 

I lit a cigarette, staring at the ground. It had been almost two weeks since I’d told him I loved him, and we’d been doing a lot better, hanging out at school and after. I wasn’t getting so many nightmares, and Gerard seemed to be his usual fairly happy self. 

The door to the community center swung open and I tensed, then sighed as a girl with brown hair slipped out. Arms wrapped around my waist suddenly and I jumped, dropping my cigarette. 

“Fuck! Gerard,” I whined as he giggled, dancing around in front of me and kissing me. 

“Show me the tattoo!” he demanded, grinning at me. I sighed and shook my head, pouting at him. “You made me drop my cigarette.”    


“Good, they’ll kill you.”    


I rolled my eyes and booped his nose with one knuckle. “You look cute. Did you redo your makeup?”    


Gerard nodded, shifting from foot to foot. “Yes, but I wanna see the tattoo!” 

I stared at him and he sighed dramatically. 

“Please?”   


I grinned and rolled my sleeve up, showing it to him. 

Gerard frowned. “That’s boring. Just two black lines?” 

I shoved his chest gently. “Hey, that’s not nice, Gee,” I joked, taking his hand and kissing the back of it. “I want to have sleeves like Chris does someday and I wanted something that would stand out, y’know? And not many other people will have it.”    


He smiled and kissed me softly. “I’m sure Chris will be thrilled, I think he’s just excited you wanted to get a matching one.”    


I nodded, starting to walk him towards home. “Are you staying over again tonight?”    


Gerard seemed to stop and think for a second. “Yeah, if that’s okay with Chris.”    


“He’s having Ricky over I think,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes. “He’s still trying desperately to make us get on.” 

He squeezed my hand gently. “Give Ricky a chance, Frank. He seems like a nice guy.”    


I sighed and bumped his shoulder with mine lightly. “I know, Gee. And I want to like him, it’s just hard. I’m not good with people I don’t know, and he’s always trying to talk to me in this fake nice way and it gets on my nerves. And Chris is always sitting in the corner watching and-” I shuddered. “It’s just weird.” 

Gerard smiled sadly and leaned over, kissing my cheek. “It won’t be that hard forever.”    


“That’s what he said,” I mumbled, earning a gentle smack.    


“Shut up, asshole. I was trying to help.” 

“I know,” I grinned, rubbing his shoulder. “I just couldn’t help myself.”

~ 

Gerard watched me, his eyes half closed. “Frank?”

“Yes?”

I looked up from my homework, smiling at him. 

“Do you want to have sex with me?” He asked casually. I blinked and shrugged. 

“Not yet.”

“But do you find me sexy?” He pressed on, staring at me intently. 

I sighed quietly, running a hand through my hair. “What's this about, Gee? What's going on?”

Gerard was blushing now. “I don't know. I'm sorry, I um..” He looked away and I sighed, getting up. I walked over to him and kissed him, my fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed back eagerly, grabbing onto my shirt. I ran my hands over Gerard's thin sides, my breath quickening as I felt my jeans tighten slightly. I pushed him back on the bed, climbing onto his hips and breaking away from the kiss just long enough to cast my shirt aside. I dove in for another kiss, but Gerard put his hand on my chest, panting softly as he stared at me worriedly. 

“Fuck,” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. “Did I scare you, Gee?”

He nodded almost imperceptibly and sniffed. I scrambled off his hips, gently helping him sit up as I wrapped him up in a hug. 

“Shh, Gee. It's alright. I'm sorry, I got a little carried away cause...cause I really do think you're very sexy.”

Gerard nuzzled my jaw, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. “I'm okay...I had a dream about you..”

“Yeah?” I hummed, running my fingers through his hair. He nodded, hugging me tightly.

“Yeah. And you kissed me and you kissed my skin all over and then..”

“Mhm?” I encouraged quietly, trailing my fingertips down his spine. 

“And then you um...you gave me oral and I came..”

I blinked, freezing for a second. “Did you like it?”

Gerard nodded quickly, his fingers twisting my shirt as he grabbed onto the fabric. “Very much.”

“Then that's the first thing we’ll do together. When you feel ready.”

He pulled away from me gently, smiling shyly. “Can we...can we just get naked? Please?”

I hesitated, then sighed. “I don't see why not. As long as you're sure you're ready.”

He nodded, tracing the tattoo on my chest with his index finger. “Hope..”

I smiled and kissed his cheek. “Do you like it?”

Gerard nodded again, kissing it softly before I got up. I started to unbuckle my jeans, watching as Gerard slipped his shirt off uncertainly, then tugged his skirt down and stepped out of it. I kicked my jeans away, running a hand through my hair. Gerard peeled his tights away and I blinked. 

“Gee?”

“Yeah..” He looked up at me, his cheeks bright red.  I pointed to his crotch. 

“I um...I don't really know..” I trailed off awkwardly and Gerard's blush intensified. 

“Um..” He took a small step back. “I um. I have like a really tiny dick and um, a really small vaginal opening. So like both, but small. And no balls..”

He was hugging himself now, watching me in terror. I walked to him and kicked my boxers away, then slipped my thumbs under the waistband of his briefs. “May I?”

Gerard sniffed, biting his lip as he looked away. I slipped them down, rubbing the outside of his thigh as he stepped out of them. I looked down and shivered. Gerard immediately dodged away from me, putting one hand over his mouth and trying to cover everything with the other. “Sh-shit..”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a few seconds. “It's not what I expected, Gee..”

He whimpered and stepped back again. 

“But I think we can work with it.”

Gerard's shoulders dropped and I climbed onto the bed, patting the mattress next to me. “Come here, baby.”

Shaking slightly and still looking uncertain, Gerard laid down next to me, trying to cover himself again. I took his hand away gently, lacing our fingers together. “Shh. You don't have to hide from me. This will take some getting used to, but I'm happy to try.”

Gerard smiled sadly, his hands trembling. “I-I'm still s-scared..”

I nuzzled his jaw, purring softly. “Don't be, beautiful. But can I ask you some questions?”

He nodded quickly, shifting closer to me and curling up. 

“Can you have sex with the vagina you have?”

Gerard rubbed his eyes, shaking his head slowly. “It's too small, it would be really painful for me and probably not very nice in general. But um...I can fit like a finger inside...I used to use tampons.”

I ran my fingers through his hair, stifling the feeling that all this was weird, too weird, and that I needed to go somewhere else and escape the weirdness. 

I started to giggle instead, nuzzling his neck. “This is so awkward, I'm sorry, Gee..”

He burst out in nervous laughter, grabbing onto me gently. I grinned and kissed his forehead. “Come on. I need to stop thinking too much. We need to enjoy this. We’re two hormonal teenagers naked in bed together and you look like you're about to cry.”

Gerard blushed and smiled at me sheepishly. “Sorry. I'm just a little worried.”

“I know,” I soothed, stroking his cheek slowly. “I understand, Gee. But you have nothing to worry about. I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna act out that dream for you, yeah?”

Gerard's eyes went wide and he bit his lip. “Now?”

I grinned and nodded quickly. “Yes. Come on. On your back.”

He rolled over slowly, watching me uncertainly. I kissed his forehead as I sat up. “Don't be scared, Gee. You can close your eyes if that helps, anything. But I'm not gonna hurt you. I swear.”

I leaned over him, kissing the center of his chest softly. He whined quietly, shifting nervously. I rocked back slightly, then ran my tongue up his middle, from his belly button to his collarbone. Gerard shivered slightly, gripping the sheets tightly as he watched me with wide eyes. I gave up on the foreplay and lifted his knees, spreading his legs slightly before diving in. I'd had to do it with men and women before, so I knew the basic principles, but this was almost completely different. 

I sucked at the head of his tiny cock, grinning as he arched his back off the bed, groaning quietly. His hand slid into my hair, gripping tightly as I dipped my tongue into him, lapping at him quite happily. 

“Fuck, you taste good,” I mumbled against him, grabbing onto his hips and running the flat of my tongue all the way up before flicking the tip over Gerard’s cock. He gasped and jerked up, rolling his hips against my mouth desperately. I decided to stop teasing and slipped a finger into him, starting to play with moving it in and out as I sucked and nipped and licked at his glorified clit. He kept shuddering, jerking his hips up, and moaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear. His breathing was quick and shallow, desperate as he tried to fuck my mouth. I curled my finger and sucked lightly one last time as he screamed suddenly, arching his back inches off the bed and shuddering there for a couple seconds. He collapsed and I grinned, licking him clean quickly. 

Gerard was still panting softly, so I drew a sheet over him and kissed his cheek. 

“That's it, Gee. It’s just gonna take a minute. Did you like it?” 

He nodded quickly, blushing slightly. “Y-yeah. Th-thank you.” 

“You are so welcome,” I chuckled, laying down next to him and smiling as he opened his tired eyes. “I'm sorry I was weird about things before, I'm just not good at adjusting. I still think you're very sexy.” 

He grinned at me breathlessly. “That's the best orgasm I've had...and I think you're sexy too.”

I purred and kissed him softly. “I wasn't scared. Once I touched you.”

Gerard smiled brightly. “Good. I like you, Frankie.”

We stared at each other for a second or two. “I love you,” I said at last, pecking his lips. 

Gerard sat up suddenly, grinning at me. “I wanna do something for you, I wanna give you a massage.”

I smiled sleepily and rubbed his leg gently. “How about just my shoulders? Otherwise I'll just crash.”

Gerard nodded, leaning down and kissing me softly. I rolled onto my stomach, letting my eyes slip closed. Gerard slipped his briefs back on and swung a leg over me, kneeling so his hips were just above the small of my back. He ran his hands down my back slowly, then leaned down and kissed the back of my neck. 

“Frankie?”

“Yeah, baby?” I murmured, half asleep. 

“I think I can feel your scars,” he mumbled, almost nervously. 

I sighed and nodded slightly. “Probably. They're still there, just very faint.”

“I'm sorry..”

He leaned down, stroking my hair and kissing my shoulders lovingly. “You're so handsome, Frankie…”

Gerard put his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently before starting to work my muscles with his thumbs, humming softly. “You're so tense, Frankie. Why are you tense?”

I sighed, trying to relax. “I'm stressed, Gee.”

“About what?”

“I have a test coming up on Monday and I'm stressed about Ricky being here.”

“Oh, Frankie,” Gerard sighed, moving his hands along a little, closer to my neck. “I'll help you study for your test, and you don't need to be stressed about Ricky. I'll be here.”

I bit my lip, gently pushing his hands away. “Gee, I'm loving the massage, it's really good, but I think I'd rather have a cuddle if that's okay.”

He slipped off me and knelt next to me instead, leaning down to kiss me. “Okay. I gotta go pee first.”

“Alright, how about I make some hot chocolate? Would that be nice?”

Gerard grinned and ran a hand through his now very messy red hair. “Yeah.” 

 

When I got back to the room, Gerard was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring out of the window. He'd found a gigantic hoodie that was practically a dress on him, and it was absolutely adorable. 

“Where'd you find that, baby?”

He jumped and turned, smiling at me. “In your closet.”

“Ohh,” I hummed, handing him his mug, smiling when I saw that he'd pulled the sleeves of the hoodie over his hands. “Chris gave that to me when I started living with him. It was like my security blanket, especially when I was going out places.”

Gerard giggled and sipped at the hot chocolate. “You must have looked like you were drowning in it.”

I chuckled and kissed his forehead, brushing his hair behind his ears. “I did.”

He smiled at me and pointed to the window. “Look! The sun’s setting..”

I sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist as he leaned his head on my shoulder. “So it is. Very pretty..”

Gerard grinned and nuzzled my neck, pressing a soft kiss to my jaw. “You're my favorite person, Frankie.”

I took a sip from my mug and smiled at him. “You're my favorite person too.” 

 

We sat there and watched the sunset until I heard the front door open and shut. Gerard scrambled up, starting to get dressed quickly. I watched for a few seconds, then got up more sedately. I took my hairbrush off my bedside table and handed it to Gerard before tugging my jeans on. “I love it when you look like a mess, but it's a little obvious,” I grinned, kissing him briefly. He rolled his eyes and started to brush his hair. “Whatever.” 

I grabbed a fresh shirt and pulled it on, then kissed Gerard softly, my hand on his side under his crop top. “You're all warm.”

“Good,” he grinned, kissing my cheek quickly. “Are you ready for this?”

“Frank?” Chris called from downstairs. I rolled my eyes and Gerard took my hand, gently pulling me towards the door. I froze suddenly. 

“Gee?”    


“Yeah?” he looked back at me, frowning slightly. “What’s wrong?”    


“Baby...um...you’re wearing a skirt, Ricky hasn’t seen you like that..” I trailed off and Gerard sighed quietly, wrapping his arms around my waist. 

“I don’t give a fuck, Frankie. You like it when I dress this way and Chris doesn’t care, so why would Ricky?”    


I stared at him for a few seconds and then sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “Okay, Gee. As long as you’re happy.” 

He nodded and kissed my cheek. “Come on, we need to go downstairs.”    


I groaned and let him lead me out of the room, jogging to catch up with him and wrapping an arm around his waist. He shot me a small smile and kissed my jaw. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you too.” 

 

As soon as we walked into the living room, I could tell Ricky was staring at Gerard. I kissed the side of my boyfriend’s head, walking him to the other couch. Chris smiled at us, but shot me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes and sat down, gently pulling Gerard down next to me. He sat down and immediately curled up, his hand resting on my thigh innocently. 

“Hi,” I mumbled, to no one in particular. Ricky smiled at me and Chris spoke up. 

“Have either of you had anything to eat?”    


“Frank had a snack,” Gerard murmured, not loud enough for the others to hear. I slapped his wrist gently, trying not to blush or giggle.    


“Not yet.”    


“Did you want to order something?” Chris asked, narrowing his eyes briefly. I shrugged, looking at Gerard. 

“Any preference?” 

He shook his head and smiled at Chris. “I’ll eat anything.”    


“Okay. Frank, come into the kitchen and help me.”    


I blinked, but got up, squeezing Gerard’s shoulder before following Chris into the kitchen. He glared at me as soon as the door swung shut behind me. “What did you do?”    


I took a deep breath and shrugged. “Nothing, really. And his parents have said it’s okay anyway.”    


“Fine, but I want to know because I want to know you’re being safe.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I gave him oral, okay? It’s not a big deal, we cuddled afterwards, but I don’t think either of us are ready to go all the way anyway. I have condoms and I have lube, we’ll be fine.” 

Chris sighed and shook his head slightly. “I did some reading up on the intersex thing. Are you really okay with it?” 

I shrugged and looked down at the floor. “It bothers me a little, I guess. I’m gay, I like men. And Gerard doesn’t really...he’s different. I’ll get used to it, it’s not a big deal.”    


“It is a big deal, Frank,” Chris said gently, rubbing my shoulder. “And it’s okay to need time to adjust. Did you enjoy this afternoon?”    


I nodded quickly, looking up at him and ignoring my cheeks heating up. “Yeah. It was fun, and I’d do it again. It’s not that I don’t...like what he has, it’s just very different and I’m just a little awkward about it.” 

Chris smiled and nodded. “I’m glad things are going okay, though. What do you want to eat?” 

The change of subject was a little jarring, and I blinked, hesitating. “Um. Indian?”    


“Sure. Go ask Gerard and Ricky what they’d like.” 

 

When we’d all sat down again, I wrapped an arm around Gerard and let him cuddle into my side.    


“How’s school going for you, Frank? Gerard was telling me you have a test coming up or something?” Ricky asked, watching me with something like worry in his eyes. 

I nodded slightly. “I’m really not um...the academic type..” Gerard snorted and I glared at him. “I was kind of...indisposed during most of my middle and high school careers. So a lot of things now are harder for me because I never learned the basics properly. I’ve got an algebra two test coming up, that’s the one I’m kind of worried about.”    


Ricky nodded, smiling slightly. “I wasn’t very academic when I was your age, either.”

I bit my lip lightly. “Gerard’s been helping me study a lot, cause he understands some of this stuff a little better than I do. I’ve managed to get an F in algebra up to a C, anyway, so I’m not doing too badly.” 

Chris blinked. “Really? You didn’t tell me that, Frank.”    


I blushed and Gerard rubbed the outside of my thigh lightly. “Sorry, I thought I had.” 

Ricky smiled at me. “Congrats anyway, Frank, that's really good.”

Gerard kissed the side of my head softly. 

“I'm just lucky to have a good tutor,” I smiled, brushing Gerard's hair behind his ears. 

“That's just too cute,” Ricky chuckled, shaking his head slightly. 

I blushed and Gerard nuzzled my neck, humming softly. “If you say so,” I said quietly. “Anyway, I don't need super high grades, I just want to graduate so I can go on to study music in community college.”

Ricky grinned. “That's awesome, Frank. What instrument do you play?”

I bit my lip lightly. “Piano and guitar.”

“Oh, I play guitar too. If you ever need any help, let me know.”

I glanced at Chris without thinking and he nodded. “He's really good.”

Ricky blushed just slightly and leaned back against Chris's chest. 

“That's cool,” I mumbled, unsure of what to say next. The doorbell rang and Chris got up. “That’ll be the food.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting two chapters up today because I'm like 8 chapters ahead of what I've posted and I've already started part 2 of this story. Besides, nothing much happens in chapter 13 anyway


	13. Chapter 13

**G**

Frank was curled up in my bed, fast asleep. I wandered over, kissing the side of his head and brushing my fingers over his cheek. My family were out for the day and Chris was working, so Frank had come to keep me company, but he was exhausted for some reason. It was about a week after we’d played around at Frank’s house, and I wanted more, despite being horribly nervous. 

I ran my fingers through his hair and slipped my shirt off, backing away from the bed. I dug through my underwear drawer, finding a pair of lacy satin panties. I kicked my skirt and briefs away, tugging the panties on instead. I glanced in the mirror and sighed, then grabbed a wipe, taking my eye makeup off carefully. Frank liked to fuck boys. I couldn’t look overly feminine. 

I walked back to the bed and laid down next to him, brushing my fingertips over his cheek. He stirred, sighing softly, and I slipped my hand under his shirt, stroking his side slowly before running my thumb over his nipple. He shifted and gently pushed my hand away. 

“M’trynna sleep..”   


“Frankie?” I whined, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Frank’s eyes snapped open suddenly and he blinked. 

“Shit, Gee. I thought you were someone else..” 

I giggled nervously and kissed him softly. “Just me.” 

He smiled, kissing my forehead and brushing my hair behind my ears. “Why’d you wake me up? And why are you shirtless?” 

I blushed and bit my lip lightly. Light seemed to dawn and Frank nodded. 

“Do you wanna do something?”    


I nodded quickly, gently rolling him onto his back and climbing up to sit on his hips. He glanced down and grinned. “I like the underwear, Gee.”   


I smiled and reached into the drawer on the bedside table, pulling out a small bottle of lube and a condom. I placed them on his chest and he blinked. “Gee, honey..” 

“I want to,” I mumbled, but my voice was hoarse and unconvincing. “Please?” 

Frank pushed them aside and sat up, pulling me into a hug. “Only if you’re sure, Gee. It’s gonna hurt..”    


I sniffed, wrapping my arms around him tightly. “But you’ll take care of me.”    


“I will, Gee. Of course I will. There’s nothing to be frightened of, really. I just want you to know what you’re in for.” 

I buried my face in his neck, grabbing at the back of his shirt. I took a few deep breaths, then lifted my head. “I want to, Frankie. Please, Frankie.” 

He nodded, leaning back slightly to look at me. He smiled slightly, stroking my cheek and resting his forehead on mine. “I love you, Gee. Whatever happens, if you want to stop, you just say so and we stop, okay?”    


I nodded quickly and Frank stroked my hair slowly. “Promise me you’ll say it if you want to stop.”    


“Promise,” I murmured, pecking his lips.    


“Okay, love. Why don’t you lay down?”    


I smiled shyly and crawled into the middle of the bed, laying down on my back. Frank stood up, slipping his shirt off. “Since you’ve never done this before, Gee, I’m gonna have to start with my fingers. Okay?”    


I nodded nervously, watching as he kicked his jeans off, but left his boxers on. “Get on your hands and knees, Gee, it’s a little easier.”    


I did as I was told, now shaking just slightly as Frank knelt down behind me. He kissed the small of my back, rubbing one of my hips as he carefully tugged my panties down. “This will hurt, Gee. Okay? But I’ll be as gentle as I can.” 

I felt him spread the cold lube around my entrance, then felt intense pressure. I groaned softly, grabbing onto the pillow as Frank rubbed my side slowly with his spare hand. “Just breathe, Gee. It’ll stop burning soon.” 

I gritted my teeth, whining as I felt his finger move inside me. “Frankie..”    


“Yes?”    


“I’m scared..” 

He started to rub my spine slowly, humming to me soothingly. “There’s nothing to be scared of, Gee. We’ll build up slowly, and then it won’t hurt. It’ll feel amazing, I promise.”    


“Did it ever for you?”    


Frank sighed quietly, starting to move his finger in and out slightly. I whimpered, feeling myself tense up. “No, baby, try and relax,” Frank murmured, stroking my back again. “And no, not my first time. Because he didn’t build up slowly, he just forced his way in. That’s why we’re taking our time.”   


“I’m sorry, Frankie.”    


“For what?” 

“What happened to you.”    


He kissed my back and started moving his finger faster, curling it slightly. “It’s not your fault, Gee.”    


“I know, but-” I cut myself off with a loud moan as pleasure suddenly burst through me. Frank chuckled, stroking the back of my thigh. 

“That’s it, Gee. Relax into that. It seems you have a prostate.” 

“Wh-what?”   


Frank slowed his movement and rubbed my side. “It’s this gland men have and it feels nice when something rubs against it. That’s all. Do you think you’re ready for another finger?”    


I took a deep breath, relaxing slightly and feeling the burning sensation fade away. “Y-yeah..” 

“Alright. You’re doing really well, Gerard.”    


The pressure went away, then suddenly doubled and I whined, biting my lip lightly. 

“Shh, Gee. It’s alright.”    


Frank stroked my thigh slowly as he started to move his fingers fairly quickly, rubbing up against my prostate again. I cried out quietly and instinctively rocked back, making Frank chuckle. 

“One more finger, Gee..”    


This time, the new stretch didn’t feel so bad, and I was soon rocking back against Frank’s hand, whining happily. 

“Alright..” Frank took his hand away and wiped it on a towel he’d brought in from the bathroom. I rolled onto my back, panting as I watched him. His boxers were tented, a small wet patch on the front. I grinned, causing him to blush. “Am I that sexy, Frankie?”   


He leaned over and kissed me softly. “Yes.”    


He got up, slipping his boxers off and tearing the condom packet open. He glanced at me and frowned. “What?”    


“That’s a lot wider than three fingers,” I mumbled. Frank nodded slightly. 

“Yeah, it’ll be a bit more of a stretch, so I’ll give you plenty of time to adjust, and use plenty of lube. Okay?”   


I swallowed nervously, watching him roll the condom on. “Can I lay on my back?”    


“Yes, of course,” Frank smiled, climbing up onto the bed again and carefully pulling my panties all the way off and tossing them aside. I spread my legs slightly and he smiled. “You’re gonna have to keep your legs up, Gee. Have you watched porn before?”    


I nodded slightly. “Not much, but I think I know.”    


“Good.”    


Frank spread lube all over his length, then gently guided my knees up before spreading more of the cold liquid over my entrance. He wiped his hands on the towel, then gently took one of my hands in his. “Okay. Take deep breaths, Gee, and hold onto my hand.” 

He lined up carefully and I groaned as I felt the pressure, this time already accompanied by sharp, stinging pain. Frank held one of my hips, watching me worriedly as he pushed in slowly.    


“It’s alright, Gee, I’m gonna pause for a second. Deep breaths and try to relax..”    


I nodded shakily and Frank leaned over me, wiping my cheeks gently. “Shh, baby. I’m gonna take care of you, it’s alright. Just try to breathe.”    


I slowly managed to relax and Frank sat back again, beginning to push in once more. 

It took three more pauses before Frank was all the way in, but he grinned and kissed me. “That’s the worst part over, Gee. You’re doing amazing.”    


I sniffed, grabbing his cheeks and kissing him a little more roughly. “This better be really good or I’m gonna be angry.”    


Frank laughed and stroked my hair, slowly starting to shift his hips, in and out. “It will be, I promise. Just give it time.”    


I whimpered, scrabbling at his sides as he nuzzled my jaw, his hands on either side of my head with his thumbs on my cheeks. “Shh, Gee. Shh, it’s alright. I know it hurts, I know. God, I wish I  could just fuck you through the mattress. You’re so beautiful..”   


I giggled breathlessly, shaking my head slightly. “Please don’t.”    


Frank started to let his movements get bigger, still letting me hold onto him. “That’s it, Gerard. Is it starting to feel better?”    


“Y-yeah,” I smiled, shifting slightly as Frank sat back. 

“Okay. I’m gonna try a big one, alright?”    


I nodded and he gripped my hips tightly, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in quickly. I arched my back, moaning loudly, half in pain and half in pleasure. “F-fuck!” 

Frank laughed and started to build up a steady rhythm, still holding my hips tightly. The pain slowly faded and I was soon rutting back against him, pulling him down into a desperate kiss as he sped up, tangling his fingers in my hair. We came at roughly the same time, our bodies tensing together as I moaned loudly, Frank thrusting a few more times before pulling out. “Jesus..”    
He stood up, pulling the condom off and throwing it away before wiping himself off. He walked back to me quickly, wiping me down carefully. “You okay?”    
I was panting softly, shaking slightly. “Y-yeah...just…”    


“Tired?” Frank grinned, kissing me briefly. “I know. How about we go and have a bath together? Calm down a little and have a nice cuddle.”   


I grinned sleepily. “Please.” 

 ~~~

I woke up the next morning with Frank asleep next to me. The bedroom door was open, as instructed by my mum. I giggled to myself as I remembered the day before, mostly spent with kisses and cuddles after our little session of fun. I shifted and gasped suddenly as pain shot up my back, then tried to sit up. “Fuck..” I whimpered, slipping out of bed and onto my feet. I took a step and groaned softly. 

“Gee?” Frank’s voice was sleepy and thick, not yet fully awake. 

“Frankie..”    


He must have noticed the tremor in my voice, as he jumped up and hurried over to me, putting a hand on my back. “Fuck..fuck fuck fuck, are you sore?”    


I nodded slightly and he looked at me, his eyes already swimming with tears. “Fuck. I fucked up, I’m so sorry, Gee. I...I was trying to be gentle, I don’t know what happened!” 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “Frankie..I did some reading and I think this is normal for a first time. I don’t think it’s your fault, I really don’t..”    


He sniffed and I hugged him tightly. “Don’t cry, Frankie. We’re okay. I’m okay. I just need a hot bath..”    


Frank scooped me up suddenly, making me squeak. He smiled shyly and carried me to the bathroom, kissing my forehead as he set me on the closed toilet lid. He turned the bath tap on and started helping me undress, his fingers soft and gentle. 

~ 

After my soak, Frank and I got some breakfast and curled up on the couch under a pile of blankets. “Chris is expecting me home in about an hour,” Frank said quietly, stroking my cheek slowly. “I think you can come too.”    


“I’d love to,” I smiled, nuzzling his neck sleepily. “But I have to pack.”

“Wait..pack for what?”   


I frowned and kissed his neck. “I’m going on a trip with my family, remember? To New York to see my grandparents cause it’s spring break.”   


Frank sighed and rubbed my back slowly. “I think I was trying to pretend you weren’t going..” 

I smiled sadly and nodded slightly. “Me too. But it’s only a couple of days. I’ll call you every night..” 

Frank stared at me for a couple seconds. “Your family is out until lunchtime, right?”    


I grinned and got up, grabbing Frank’s hand as I led him back upstairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the smut was okay and not terrible. I'm out of practice tbh, plus I was never really that good anyway.   
> The next chapter will be fairly sad, just a heads up. And the chapter after that will be from Chris's POV, so that's exciting :)  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**F**

Chris ruffled my hair lightly, sitting down next to me. “You look miserable. How can I help?”    


I drew my knees up to my chest, hugging them tightly. “I dunno.”    


He sighed and rubbed my shoulder gently. “It’s only four days, Frank. You’re halfway through one already. He’s gonna call you this evening.”

“I know..”    


Chris ran his colorful fingers over the two thick black lines on my arm. “I think he loves you, Frank. He’s just scared to say it. Why are you so upset, anyway? Something’s changed between you two and I can’t figure it out.”

I shot him a look and sighed. “I think you can probably guess.”    


“Tell me anyway,” he murmured, running his fingers through my hair. 

I looked down. “We had sex. And it was...perfect. I wasn’t scared at all, it just felt really natural and easy.” 

Chris smiled, brushing the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “That’s how it should be, Frank. Was Gerard alright?”    


I nodded, rubbing my eyes. “Yeah, he was really sore in the morning, but I think he was okay. It frightened me a little. I thought I’d hurt him.” 

Chris sighed and fixed my hair carefully. “Did he enjoy it?” 

I glanced at him. “Why are you asking me so many questions about it?”    


He frowned and shrugged. “I just want to make sure everything is okay. You don’t have to answer them if you think I’m being creepy.”    


I giggled and nodded. “A little creepy. But yes, he liked it.” 

“Good. Now what can we do to distract you and make you feel better? Do you wanna go out somewhere or do something here? What would help?”    


I shrugged, resting my chin on my knees. “Cinema?”    


Chris chuckled and nodded slightly. “I should have guessed that’s what you’d say. Yes, we can go to the cinema.”    


I blushed and bit my lip. “Sorry, I just...never got to go when I was a kid..”    


He ruffled my hair, smiling at me. “I know, Frankie. I wasn’t making fun of you. I’ve got to go finish up a little work, it should take me about fifteen minutes. Why don’t you find a movie and book the tickets for me?” 

I nodded slightly and he kissed the side of my head.    


“Stop looking so miserable.” 

~ 

My phone rang just as we stepped through the door in the evening, and Chris rubbed my shoulder as I answered it, hurrying into the kitchen. 

“Hey, Gee! What's up? Are you having fun?”

He laughed softly, and I felt my chest get tight. “Yeah, Frankie. I miss you, though. A lot.”

“I miss you too, Gee,” I murmured, running a hand through my hair. “But Chris is keeping me busy.”

“Well that's good. I have to share a room with Mikey...he's been really grumpy today cause he had a fight with Pete before he left.”

I sighed, pouring myself a glass of water and carrying it out of the kitchen. “I'm sorry, Gee. Is it a fairly big room though?”

Chris stopped me in the hall. “Frank, I gotta run out for some milk, we’re out. I'll see you in a bit.”

“Okay, Chris.” 

I kept walking, heading up to my room. “Yeah, I mean, we've both got fairly nice sized beds, so it's okay.”

“Good,” I hummed, setting my glass of water down on the bedside table before laying down in bed. “I wish you were here. I'm in a cuddly mood.”

“Fuck,” Gerard whined jokingly. “That never happens.” 

“Yep. And you're missing it,” I teased softly. “I'm sure you'll get all the cuddles you want when you get back.”

“You promise?” Gerard purred sleepily. “Promise me.”

“Of course, Gee. Of course I promise,” I murmured, running a hand through my hair. “I think you need to get some rest, though. You sound tired.”

“I'm fine, really,” Gerard protested, but was interrupted by a yawn. I chuckled softly. “Sure, Gee. Get some rest, I love you.”

“Okay...goodnight, Frankie. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

 ~~~

I got another call from Gerard the next day, putting my guitar down to pick up my phone. I answered it and my throat clenched. 

He was sobbing, raw, painful emotion showing through as he tried to talk. “F-Frank? F-Frankie?”

I scrambled up, switching my amp off and running downstairs. “Yeah, baby? I'm here, Gee. What's going on? Are you okay?”

I knocked on Chris’s office door sharply. 

“I-..I d-don't know wh-where I am, Frankie..”

Chris flung the door open, glaring at me. “Frank, I'm kind of in the middle of a meeting!”

I stared at him wildly, putting the phone on speaker. “Gee, try to take deep breaths..”

As Gerard sobbed, Chris's face changed, first to shock and then hardening. 

“S-something b-bad happened, F-Frank. I'm s-scared, p-please..”

I took the phone off speaker, holding it to my ear. “It's okay, Gee. Chris is gonna come help me, he just has to finish something.”

Chris nodded quickly and gave me a thumbs up before disappearing back into his office. 

I hurried through the hall, crouching down and trying to tug my shoes on while still comforting Gerard. “It's okay, baby. We’re gonna come and find you. Are you still in New York?”

“Y-yeah..”

“Can you tell me more about what happened?”

He sniffed, the sobs starting to fade as I pulled my coat on. “I d-don't know! I was shopping with Mikey and I went outside for some air a-and I woke up here! It h-hurts, Frankie...I c-can't move..”

“Why not, baby? Why can't you move?”

“It h-hurts..”

“Where?”

“My r-ribs..”

“Alright..” I looked up as Chris jogged over to me, gently taking the phone from my hand. 

“Hey, Gerard,” he said softly, his voice dropping into his ‘gentle’ mode. “We’re just on our way, hon. I know you're scared, but we will come and find you, okay? Now can you tell me anything about where you are? I'm going to call the police right after I get off the phone, okay? Frank will stay on the phone with you..”

Chris tugged his shoes and coat on, listening to Gerard as he shoved me out of the front door, following me to the car. I got in quickly, buckling my seatbelt as he handed the phone back to me and tugged his own out, dialing the police. 

“Hey, Gee. You're gonna be okay,” I murmured, putting a hand over my other ear as Chris talked. “And we’ll bring you home and I'll give you all those cuddles I promised. Okay?”

“Y-yeah...F-Frankie?”

“Yes, baby?”

“M-my phone is running out of battery..”

I took a deep breath and sighed. “Alright, okay. I think you should hang up, Gerard. Call me if anything changes, okay? I'm gonna call Mikey, he's a lot closer to you than we are. Okay? I love you, beautiful.”

“O-okay. Please h-hurry, Frankie..”

Gerard hung up and I quickly pressed on Mikey's contact, telling him what had happened before hanging up so Gerard could call me if he needed to. 

 ~

I spent the next hour chewing the skin off my lip and clinging to Chris's hand, trembling ever so slightly. Just as we reached the outskirts of New York, Chris's phone rang. He picked it up, talking quietly for a couple minutes before hanging up and quickly taking an exit. 

“Wh-what's going on?”

He sighed loudly. “The police think they know where he is, they've pinpointed his phone. I think we’ll get there before them. Frank, I need you to be ready, okay? We need to expect the worst. Gerard is very very scared and it may be difficult, but you need to keep calm for him. Okay?”

I swallowed hard. “I'll try, Chris.”

He glanced around and swore, pulling the car over. I looked out of the window and kicked my door open, hitting the ground running as I sprinted around the car and down the alley, collapsing next to the thin figure. Gerard's hair was dirty and matted, his dress torn and muddy. Blood had dried on his face and arms, as well as all over the back of his dress and his ruined tights. I gulped, gently shaking him. 

“Gerard?”

He groaned softly and shifted, then whimpered in pain. Chris knelt down next to me, rubbing Gerard's side as he lifted up his skirt, then winced. 

“Frank, I think he's been-”

I gagged and stumbled to my feet, backing away from the younger boy’s body until my back hit a wall. I slid down it, curling up in the tiniest ball possible. 

 

_ I cried as the blood trickled down my legs. I could see the drips and I watched it accumulate in little puddles at my feet. He was laughing, holding my ripped shirt in his hands. They left eventually, not bothering to clean up after themselves.  _

_ I couldn't bring myself to crawl onto the mattress where it happened, instead just laying in my own blood, unable to sleep as I stared at nothing.  _

 

Chris crouched down in front of me, trying to talk to me quietly, trying to calm me down. I looked past him. Gerard was still laying there, Chris's coat over him. He was watching me, tears forming white tracks on his grubby face. I slapped Chris away from me and got to my feet slowly, then bolted. 

Images kept flashing through my mind, evil grins and cameras pointed at me. Men leaning over me, their faces sweaty and contorted. Blood puddling at my feet. The dark closing in as the pain dulled. 

Someone grabbed me and I screamed, over and over. A hand wrapped around my mouth and the man sat down on the sidewalk, pulling me into his lap. 

“Shh, Frankie. It's me. It's just me, honey. It's alright,” Chris soothed, rocking me back and forth as I choked on sobs, not even breathing enough to be able to make any noise as I clung to him. 

 ~

I sat in Chris's car, trying not to watch them load Gerard into the ambulance. I was shaking, Chris's arm around my shoulders. “Shh,” he hummed, stroking my cheek and wiping the tears away slowly. “What happened?”

“F-flashbacks..” I mumbled, sniffing. “I should be going with him, I want-”

“He's going with his mother,” Chris said firmly, cutting me off. “He needs time with his family. We’ll go and see him soon, I promise.”

I started to tremble again and Chris rested his forehead on the side of my head. “I'm so sorry, Frankie. Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry..”

“H-he's not m-my Gerard a-anymore..”

Chris stroked my hair slowly, kissing my temple soothingly. “Why not, little one?”

“My Gee is i-innocent and k-kind and h-happy. He's n-not scared, he's really b-brave...a-and he's...he’s not l-like me..”

“Oh, Frank..” Chris sighed, pulling me into a hug and rubbing my shoulder slowly. “He’ll be okay, Frankie. He will. He’ll always be kind and brave and he’ll be happy again. I promise.”

 ~

Chris kept an arm around my shoulders as he walked me through the stark white halls. I was holding a bunch of flowers and a stuffed cat like armour, trying not to look at anyone as I counted down the numbers on the doors. Chris gently pulled me to a stop outside the right door and slipped inside, letting me follow him. I hesitated. Mikey and Gerard’s mum were sitting in hard plastic chairs. A nurse was talking to Gerard quietly. He looked even smaller in the all-white bed, his face drawn and his eyes betraying exhaustion and numbness. He looked up when I stepped in and a faint smile played at his lips. “Frank.”

I smiled nervously, already shaking as Chris gently nudged me forward. I held the flowers out in front of me, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes already. Gerard sniffed, taking them carefully. “Pink roses. My favorite..”

I nodded dumbly and placed the cat on his chest, tears streaming down my cheeks. I leaned over suddenly and kissed his forehead, stroking his hair clumsily. “I'm sorry.”

“Excuse me, I was trying to talk to him,” the nurse snapped. I jumped and shuffled to the side, ducking my head. 

“Sorry...sorry..”

Gerard looked at me sadly and I glanced at Mikey. He stared at me for a second or two, then got up quickly and hurried out of the room. Chris quietly sat down next to Gerard’s mum, starting to talk to her softly. I turned my gaze back to Gerard, who looked like he was about to cry. 

“You have two options, Gerard. You can get a rape kit or you can not. Just pick one. If you get the rape kit, we may be able to find the person who did this to you.”

“I don't want to find him,” Gerard whispered, looking away. “I just want to go home..”

The nurse sighed loudly and I felt my blood boil. 

“Gerard, you need to make the right choice. Clearly, this man attacked you because of your clothing choice, but he might decide to go after others-”

“What the _fuck_ did you just say?” I snapped suddenly. Chris looked up, watching me worriedly. 

“Frank..”

Gerard stared at me with wide eyes as I glared at the nurse, bristling. 

“Your  _ friend  _ was wearing a dress. He was clearly dressed inappropriately, and he des-”

Gerard screamed as I jumped on her, bringing her to the ground. Before I could land a punch, Chris had hauled me up and was shoving me out of the door. 

“Jesus fucking Christ! Frank, what the fuck?” 

I broke down sobbing, falling against his chest as he hugged me, stroking my hair slowly. “Fuck. This is a fucking mess..”

Gerard's mum slipped out of the room, hurrying over. “Frank? Is he alright?”

Chris sighed quietly, rubbing my back slowly. “I don't think so. I'm gonna take him home, I think. I doubt they’ll allow him back in after that..”

“What should I tell Gerard? He's absolutely frantic.”

“Tell him I'm taking care of Frank. I'm gonna take him home and we’re going to have some nice long talks and I'm gonna get him to his therapist. Frank will be okay, Gerard needs to focus on getting better.”

~ 

I curled up in Chris's bed, clinging to him as he hugged me tightly, rubbing my back slowly. “I heard what that nurse was saying, Frankie. I know why you did that, but it's-”

“Not okay, I know. I just did it.”

Chris sighed softly, running his fingers through my hair. “I know it's hard, I'm-”

“You have no idea,” I growled quietly. “What happened to Gerard happened to me nearly every day for six fucking years. I never ever wanted him to feel that. I told myself I'd protect him and be gentle when we had sex and I told myself he’d be okay and I'd make  _ certain _ that he wouldn't understand that pain. And I fucking failed.”

Chris ran his hand up and down my arm slowly. “It's not your fault, Frank. It never will be. Gerard knows how things should be, and that's better than you ever did. You've shown him how to love and how to make love and no one can take that from him. He’ll be okay, and you'll be there. You can help him so so much. You'll be able to understand and talk to him about it. He’ll need you.”

“I c-can't...I'm a fucking mess..” I whimpered, rubbing my eyes angrily. Chris shushed me quietly, stroking my side. 

“Yes, because it brought up some painful memories. That's okay. I'll get you in to see your therapist tomorrow for an emergency session and in a couple days, Gerard will be home and you can go see him. Everything will be okay, Frank, but you gotta get some sleep now. Okay? Sleep makes everything better.”

 ~~~

Mikey glared at me. “He won't stop fucking crying.”

I looked down and Chris gently pulled Mikey away from me, talking to him softly. Gerard's dad walked over, rubbing my shoulder. “Hey. You feeling okay?”

I shook my head slightly. “I'm terrified.”

He smiled sadly and started leading me towards the stairs. “It's alright. I understand, Frank, and so does Gerard. Chris had a long chat with him and explained how you've been feeling.”

“How is he?” I mumbled, my voice slightly hoarse. 

“Tired. Bored of resting, upset. What you'd expect, I guess. He misses you.”

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. “I'm not worth it.”

“Yes, you are.”

He stopped outside Gerard's door. “He loves you, Frank.”

I swallowed hard and pushed the door open, closing it behind me carefully. Gerard was curled up, his arms wrapped tightly around the stuffed cat I’d gotten him. The graze on his cheek was healing nicely, and he looked happier. He looked up when I walked in and smiled shyly. “Hi.”

I rushed over to him, stroking his now fading red hair away from his face. “Hey...I'm so so sorry, Gee. I'm so fucking sorry I was an asshole. I'm so so sorry...I was just so scared..”

He smiled a little wider, sniffling. “It's okay, Frankie. I understand. Chris said you had flashbacks...were they bad?”

I nodded slightly and kissed him briefly. “Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Get better. Please? I just want to see you better.”

Gerard sniffed, his hazel eyes broken and sad. “Fuck, Frank. I'm trying.”

I hugged him ever so carefully, nuzzling his jaw. He winced, but rubbed the inside of my forearm. “I need a bath..”

I pulled away quickly, smiling frantically. “I can help you! I'll go run it now..”

“O-okay...okay..”

I sniffed, kissing his forehead before running off. I had a little cry while I sorted the bath out, then quickly wiped my cheeks and ran back to Gerard. I helped him get undressed, then wrapped him in a towel and carried him down the hall, carefully taking him into the bathroom. I kicked the door shut and carefully removed the towel, then knelt down slowly and very gently laid Gerard down in the bath. He winced, hissing in pain and grabbing onto my hand. I smiled at him anxiously, squeezing his hand gently. “I'm here, I'm here..”

Gerard sniffed as he rolled onto his side slowly, curling up slightly. I got the message and started to wash him off carefully, trying not to look at the bruises on his skin. I suddenly noticed the handprints on his hips and gagged, starting to tremble. Gerard looked up at me sadly. “S-sorry..”

My stomach turned and I whipped around, throwing up into the toilet and spitting miserably. I got to my feet shakily when I was done, rinsing my mouth out quickly. I looked down at my arm and saw a handprint there, in deep purple bruising, blood smeared over my hands. I threw up again, this time into the sink, washing it away and trying not to start crying. I rinsed my mouth once more and went back to Gerard, kneeling down. I wiped the tears off his cheeks and went back to carefully washing him off. He closed his eyes, tears leaking from under his eyelashes. 

A knock on the door made us both jump. “Gerard? Are you okay?”

“Come in, Dad,” Gerard mumbled, opening his eyes and staring at nothing apathetically. The door creaked as it opened and I sat back slightly, drying my arms off on the towel next to me. 

Gerard's dad wandered in, glancing at me in concern. He leaned over and flushed the toilet, shooting me another worried look. I didn't meet his gaze, staring at the floor blankly. 

“I came to ask if you're hungry, but um...it doesn't really look like it.” 

I shook my head quickly and Gerard chuckled bitterly. “I can't eat..”

I looked up at him, sniffing. “Why not, Gee?”

He didn't make eye contact with me. “I don't feel like it.”

Gerard's dad sighed and looked down at me. “How'd you get him in the tub?”

“I carried him,” I mumbled, feeling the nausea rise again. “He's not heavy.”

“Jeez. He is to me,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Neither of us smiled. 

“I just want to sleep,” Gerard said quietly.

“Okay, Gerard,” his dad sighed softly. “Frank, Chris had a meeting he couldn't cancel, so if you need anything, come find me or Donna, okay? We’re here for you.”

I nodded and gagged again, trying to hold it down. As soon as the door shut behind Gerard’s dad, I grabbed onto the toilet and heaved again, trembling as I finally emptied my stomach, retching without bringing anything up a couple times. I rinsed my mouth one more time, then slipped my shirt off, lifting Gerard out of the tub. I laid him in bed wrapped in a towel and went back, cleaning up the bathroom quickly before walking back to Gerard. I dried him off properly and dressed him in his pajamas carefully, kissing his skin every now and then. As soon as he was sorted, he rolled onto his side and tugged a blanket over himself, staring at the small tv someone had placed by the side of the bed. 

“Gee?”

“Am I disgusting, Frankie?”

I blinked and sat down on the edge of the bed. “No, of course not.”

“Then why do you keep throwing up when you see me?”

I took a deep breath, rubbing the outside of his thigh slowly. “It's not you, Gee, it's your bruises. They bring up bad memories and that's what makes me sick. Not you. I think you're beautiful, Gerard. And I always will. I promise.”

He sniffed and curled up tighter. I kicked my shoes off and laid down behind him carefully, kissing the back of his neck as I draped an arm over him ever so carefully. 

“I love you, Gerard.”

Gerard started to cry softly, his body shaking against mine. “I l-love you too..”

I shushed him softly, stroking his hair slowly. “Don't cry, Gee. Don't cry. Get some rest, Gee. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Gerard eventually stopped crying and relaxed slowly, his breathing evening out as he drifted off, not entirely peaceful. I buried my face in his neck and closed my eyes, letting my own body relax as I felt myself falling, falling into a nightmare-ridden sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry....  
> You're all probably gonna hate me now, but I'm just gonna add a couple notes about part two. This part ends at chapter 18 and I've started adding some more tags because there's a few more heavy subjects that'll be brought up, so just have a quick look at those at some point, I don't want any nasty surprises for anyone.   
> As always, thanks for reading! <3


	15. Chapter 15

**C**

I watched Frank as he laid on the couch with Gerard, his short fingers tangled in the younger boy’s hair. Gerard was fast asleep, but Frank kept pressing kisses to his skin and stroking his side or arm every now and then, as if mostly comforting himself. He was shaking ever so slightly, occasionally adjusting the blanket to cover Gerard properly, his fingers trembling. He was trying to busy himself to close the gaps, not wanting to let any of his memories or his painful thoughts get through. 

I'd seen him do it before, and it broke my heart to see him doing it now. What had happened to Gerard nearly two weeks ago now had broken him, and he was still scrambling to put the pieces back together. It was Gerard’s celebration day the next day, and I knew neither of them would be in much of a festive mood. I leaned over, stroking Frank's cheek gently. “Hey, hon. Do you need anything?”

He shook his head slowly and I sighed. He'd definitely lost weight, as he was throwing up everything he ate and was constantly stressed about Gerard. It would never matter what I said to him; a small part of him would always blame himself for Gerard being raped, and he was overcompensating by refusing to leave his side. 

“Frank, it's nearly dinner time. How about I order you guys some pizza and you can try and have some? You need to encourage Gerard.”

Frank nodded slightly. “Sure. At least pizza doesn't burn on the way back up,” he said bitterly, but quietly. I sighed and leaned down, kissing his cheek. “I love you, Frankie.”

He blinked at me and I smiled sadly. “Is Gerard staying over?”

He shook his head. “His mum is picking us up at nine, she wants me to stay with him tonight. She says he sleeps better when I'm around.”

I nodded slightly. “Alright. I'll go order pizza now, then.” 

 ~

I watched Frank eat, watched the way he was encouraging Gerard. It almost made me smile, seeing him so heavily involved in his partner. He kept poking him with the pizza, and flashing Gerard little smiles. Frank kissed him every now and then, on the cheek or neck. He kept eating his own pizza, trying to lead Gerard by example. The younger boy only ended up managing one slice.

I cleaned up the kitchen quietly, jumping when I heard footsteps behind me. “Chris?”

“Yeah?”

Gerard was leaning against the counter, his eyes sad and his expression pained and anxious. “I'm worried about Frankie.”

I sighed and stepped forward, rubbing his shoulder gently. “You don't need to, Gerard. That's my job, hon. Okay? I'm keeping an eye on him..”

“But it's not enough,” Gerard protested softly. I shook my head. 

“I know that, Gerard. I know. But he's going to his therapist three times a week...I'm trying my hardest..”

Gerard nodded slightly, smiling sadly. “He's not always easy to take care of. I just want him to be okay.”

I kissed his forehead, stroking his hair back from his face. “I know. You love him, it's only natural. But the best way you can help him is by focusing on getting better. Rest and go to your therapy sessions, talk to people. Work hard on getting better and you'll be working hard to help Frank. And he’ll be much better when those bruises have faded.”

Gerard sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I keep feeling like I wanna go home, but then I realize I am home..”

I squeezed his shoulder gently. “Frank used to say that a lot. Home is often a feeling rather than just a place. You'll get back there soon, I promise. And Frank will be there for you.”

I looked up as Frank slipped into the kitchen, his hair messy and his eyes dull. The dark circles under his eyes still hadn't faded, and I knew he was barely sleeping at night. 

“Come on, Gerard. I'll drive you home,” Frank mumbled, glancing at me for permission. I nodded slightly and tossed him my keys from off the side. 

“Be careful. No jolts.”

Frank nodded, supporting Gerard as he led him out of the kitchen slowly. 

A few minutes later, I heard the front door slam and sighed, leaning back against the counter and staring at the floor. 

Frank needed more and I didn't know how to give it to him. 

I sighed and kicked at the tiles lightly, then pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Ricky. 

“Hey, babe, you okay?” He said softly, humming quietly. 

“Not really.”

“Okay. How can I help, Chrissy?”

I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. “Um. I don't know, baby. I don't know. Frank isn't getting any better, he can't keep any food down, and Gerard is doing okay, but he's too busying worrying about Frank to rest and recuperate. I don't know what to do..”

Ricky hesitated. “Take Frank out for a day. Separate them, stop them from getting wrapped up in one another. Get one of Gerard’s family to entertain him for the day while you have fun with Frank. Remind him that you're there for him and  _ talk _ to him, whether it's about important things or not.”

I sighed, pressing the heel of my hand to my forehead. “You really think that’ll work?”

“I do, Chrissy. You should plan something for like tomorrow or the day after. Do it soon.”

“Okay...thanks, baby..”

Ricky hummed again, and I could hear him fiddling with his guitar in the background. “You're always welcome, Chris. Do you want me to come over? Are you in need of cuddles?”

My brain flicked a switch and suddenly I felt like crying, holding my hand over my eyes as I tried to hold back the tears. “Y-yeah, actually. I'd l-love that..”

Ricky's voice dropped, becoming softer and kinder. “Okay, Chrissy. I'll bring you a treat. Frank's out tonight, right?”

“Yeah but-”

“I know, I doubt you're in the mood. I'm not that thick, babe. I just want to spend the night with you. I haven't in a while and I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

 ~

Ricky curled up with me, playing with my fingers gently and kissing my bare chest softly. “Did you like your treat?”

I used my fingers to brush powdered sugar out of his hair. “Mhm. So did you.”

He grinned and leaned up, kissing me lightly. “What do you wanna do now?”

I pulled the covers over us, wrapping an arm around Ricky's waist again. “I just want to cuddle. I'm exhausted. I feel useless.”

Ricky frowned, toying with the ends of my long hair lightly. “You're not. Frank is just going through a really bad time. He’ll come out the other side, he always does.”

I sighed and shrugged. “I don't know, Ricky. He blames himself, and Gerard blames himself as well. It's a huge fucking mess.” 

Ricky scooted up the bed to be level with me, kissing me firmly. “You're an amazing parent and a great person, Chris, but you can't fix everyone or everything. They will get through this. I promise.”

“Frank looks terrible, he-”

“He will get through it. Just be there to help him understand how to. That's all you have to do.” 

I sighed and stared at him for a while. He grinned and kissed me again, gently tugging at one of my lip rings with his teeth. 

“Ricky, no..” I mumbled, pushing at his chest gently. “I'm tired and I just want cuddles.” 

He nodded and wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing my chest. “I love you, Chrissy.”

I hummed softly, stroking his hair slowly. “I love you too.”

I leaned over and turned the light off, then settled back quietly, pulling Ricky even closer to me. 

 ~~~

Gerard's adoption day celebration was just as disappointing as I’d expected. He'd refused to get up and go downstairs, so everyone had crammed into his room for cake. That meant Frank, his parents, me, Mikey, and Mikey's boyfriend. Poor Gerard didn't want to play games or really even open gifts. Frank didn't give him anything publicly, but I assumed he'd gotten him some kind of present. 

In any case, Gerard had only opened one gift. It had been a beautiful dress, and he'd just cried and cried. No one could figure out why, but I could tell from Frank's tight jaw as he tried to comfort his boyfriend that he knew, or at least suspected. Gerard’s parents had decided to save the gifts for when he was feeling better. And so Gerard spent the day in bed with Frank, crying on and off and watching shitty movies. Frank had agreed to spend another night there after Gerard’s meltdown, and I promised to pick him up in the morning. 

 ~~~

Frank didn't look at me as he got in the car. 

“Did you have a nice night?” I asked, rubbing his shoulder. He sighed. 

“I had two hours of sleep, but Gerard slept through. He still doesn't remember anything so he doesn't get nightmares about it.”

I nodded slightly, stroking his hair before starting the engine and pulling away from the curb. “Good. He's lucky with that at least.”

Frank nodded slightly, glancing at me. “What's the plan today? Why’d you pick me up?”

I smiled at him, shrugging. “You've been spending a lot of time with Gerard and I'm very very proud of you for helping him so much, but I'm worried it's at the expense of your health at the moment. So I'm giving you a day off, we’re gonna go do fun stuff together.”

Frank sighed and shook his head slowly. “Chris, Gerard needs me.”

“I've talked to his parents, don't worry,” I soothed, flashing him another quick smile. “They're taking him out for a while and they're gonna keep him nice and busy and happy. His mum has taken the day off, like I have.”

Frank rubbed his eyes. “Can I just sleep all day?”

“No, but you can sleep tonight, you're having the night off as well and I'd like it if you'd sleep with me. You need to get some good quality rest.”

He nodded, leaning his head on the inside of the car window. “Okay, Chris. What're we doing today?”

“Well, I'm gonna take you out for breakfast and talk about what tattoo you want to get this afternoon, and then we’re gonna go get you some clothes and lunch, then to the Angelo’s for the tattoo, and lastly a nice dinner out. How does that sound?”

Frank grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Fuckin’ perfect. How big of a tattoo?”

“It's whatever you want, Frank. I know you've planned most of them out, that's why we're stopping at home first,” I answered, smiling to myself as I pulled the car into the driveway. Frank leaned over and kissed my cheek before jumping out of the car. I chuckled and followed him, walking inside quietly. 

 ~

Frank collapsed on the sofa with a loud sigh. I chuckled and moved his legs out of the way, sitting down next to him. “You okay?”

He grinned at me sleepily. “Yeah. Thanks for today, Chris. I had a great day, I'm just fuckin’ exhausted.”

I smiled, putting my hand on his knee lightly. “You were limping a little today.”

He nodded slightly, yawning. “I think it's carrying Gerard around. He's not too heavy, but doing it everyday is a bit much for my knee.”

“Maybe you should start wearing your brace again.”

Frank sighed and shrugged. “Sometimes that makes it worse, though.”

“True. Just do what you think is best, I guess. And take ibuprofen.”

Frank closed his eyes for almost a minute, then blinked at me. “Can we go to bed?”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah, lemme see that tattoo first..”

Frank stood up, lifting his shirt up. The two birds on his hips were a little red, but not badly swollen. “I'll re-wrap them and you should wear a tank top or something in bed,” I announced, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder gently. “Let's go, yeah?”

Frank followed me upstairs quietly, sitting down on the edge of my bed while I grabbed some plastic wrap and a basin of warm water. I unwrapped the plastic from his middle and carefully washed off the tattoo, patting it dry with a towel. “Alright. Air dry for a while, okay?”

Frank nodded and climbed into bed, laying on top of the covers. I tipped the water away in the bathroom and got myself ready for bed, then laid down next to Frank, stroking his hair slowly. He opened his eyes sleepily and ran his fingers down my chest. “So colorful.”

I chuckled and kissed his forehead softly. “You're so tired you're drunk, hon.”

He just grinned. I checked the clock and nodded. “Fifteen minutes. Sit up, and I'll wrap you up..”

I wrapped Frank's tattoo again and helped him get his tank top on. He immediately dove under the sheets and curled up in bed, nuzzling the pillow. I rolled my eyes and flicked the light off, climbing in next to him. Before I could touch him, he snuggled up to my chest, grabbing onto me loosely. I smiled and rubbed his back slowly until his breathing evened out and I knew he'd fallen asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I hope you liked this slightly more happy chapter and were excited about the change of POV. It seemed like it might be fun to switch things up a little. Only a few more chapters left to go.   
> I'm not entirely sure you guys will like the direction I'm taking part two in so I'll put the first two chapters up in one go after the last one of this, and if you all absolutely hate it, I might rethink. So be ready to give me some comments :)  
> <3<3<3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly smut, just to let you know :)

**F**

I waited outside Gerard's house, shifting from foot to foot. It was his first day back at school after nearly a month off. I smiled at him as he shuffled out of his door, taking the steps slowly and painfully. I helped him gently, holding his hand tightly. “Hey, Gee,” I murmured, pecking him on the lips. “You okay? Ready for school?”

He snorted and just clung to my hand shakily. He was wearing jeans, more loose fitting than his usual skin-tight variety, with a baggy hoodie on top. I recognized it as one of mine, but didn't say anything as I started to walk him down the street slowly. His ribs were still hurting him a lot, and he needed help for stairs and just general support.

~ 

By the time lunch rolled around, I was tired and Gerard was exhausted. He was avoiding all his friends, so we sat outside, eating lunch quietly.

“Gee?”

“Mhm?”

“Did you want that present I got you yet?”

Gerard sighed and looked at me. “Is it clothes?”

“No, baby. Not clothes,” I said gently, but my fingers curled into a fist against my leg. “I promise.”

He nodded slightly and I rummaged in my backpack, bringing out a small box. “It's not much, but I didn't really have much to spend,” I mumbled, biting my lip. “Um. I hope you like them.”

Gerard lifted the lid off the box and blinked, looking at the enamel heart-shaped necklace. “Frankie..”

“It's double-sided,” I murmured, rubbing my eyes nervously. He turned it over and smiled softly. “This is perfect, Frankie…”

He took it out of the box and then frowned, poking the little bird charm. “What's this?”

I leaned back and lifted my shirt up, showing him the new birds tattooed on my hips. “It's one of these,” I smiled shyly. “I've been planning this tattoo for a while and I thought you'd like a charm to go with it..” My smile faded and I suddenly felt sick. “Do you like it?”

Gerard giggled softly, pulling me into a gentle kiss. “Of course, Frankie. It's lovely, but if you don't mind, I won't put it on here...cause I'm not really out..”

I nodded slightly. On one side of the heart was the non-binary flag, while the other showed the intersex flag, so it was understandable that he was unsure of wearing it at school. I kissed his cheek and he frowned. “Frankie?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Do you think you could get the charm off this one and put it on my key one? Cause I wear that one everyday..”

I nodded slightly. “Absolutely, Gee. But I'd need a pair of pliers, so how about when we get home?”

“Sounds good,” Gerard smiled, resting his head on my shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 ~

Chris glanced at me as I slipped into the room. Ricky was sitting with him, going through some kind of paperwork. “Hey, Frank,” he said without looking up.

“Hi.”

Chris frowned and got up, walking over to me just as I burst into tears. “Frankie?” He stroked my hair slowly, letting me cling to him as he crouched down slightly to face me. “Frankie, what's wrong? Don't cry, hon..”

Ricky got up from the sofa, smiling at me and touching Chris's shoulder lightly. “I'll be in the other room, okay?”

“Thanks baby,” he mumbled, then gently steered me over to the couch and sat down, tugging me into his lap. I curled up tightly, burying my face in his shoulder as I sobbed softly, shaking all over.

After I'd calmed down enough to talk, Chris kissed the side of my head. “Frankie...what's wrong, hon? Huh?”

I curled up a little tighter, drying my face on my sleeve. “It's dumb..”

“No, Frankie. It's not dumb because it's upset you. You can tell me, I promise..”

“It _is_ dumb. I'm crying cause of Gerard..”

“What about him?” Chris murmured, running his fingers through my hair.

“He's not...he's scared to dress like he likes to because he thinks that's why he got raped and it just makes me so s-sad and a-angry..”

Chris sighed softly and rubbed my back slowly. “Frankie, you can't fix everything, hon. Just tell him, okay? Talk to him, tell him over and over that it wasn't his fault. However many times it takes, and be patient. He’ll take a long time to heal. You're still healing.”

“B-but it's different for me,” I mumbled, drying my cheeks and looking away. “I had six years to come to terms with shit. I know it was never my fault. It wasn't random, not like it was for Gee.”

“I know, Frankie. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love in pain. You just have to do your best for them, and hope it's enough. Gerard will be okay one day, whether it takes weeks, months, or years. You can't rush him..”

I sniffed, nodding slightly. “It just hurts so bad, Chris..”

He took my hand gently, squeezing it tight. “I know. I know, Frankie. And that's why you want to be with him now, I understand. I wanted to just hold you all day when you first got here. I wanted to smother you and force you to feel better. But it didn't work, did it? When I took a step back, you started coming to me with things and started to work out what exactly would make you feel better. And then when we both had breathing space, you started to heal.”

I squinted at him, slipping off his lap. “You think I should take a step back from Gee?”

He nodded slightly, stroking my hair slowly. “Yes. Stop asking if he's okay every five seconds, don't act like his fragile, just treat him normally. You don't have to stop being with him all day, you just have to not smother him. He’ll work out what he wants.”

 ~~~

I got a phone call from Gerard a week later, while I was just getting into bed. “Hey,” I murmured as I picked it up. “What's up, Gee?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” he muttered, sounding nervous. “I um. I want us to have sex again.”

I blinked, sitting up in bed and flicking the light back on. “Baby? Do you really think that's the best idea right now?”

“No,” Gerard sighed, and I could tell he was biting his lip. “But it's the best one I've got. I can still feel it, Frankie. This pressure. All the time, I just want it to go away..”

He was sniffling already, so I took a deep breath. “Chris is going on an overnight thing with Ricky this weekend, I'll talk to him about having you over. Okay? But I do want you to think about this carefully, yeah? Make sure it's what you want..”

Gerard smiled, I could hear it in his voice. “Okay. Thanks, Frankie.”

“Anytime, beautiful. You're my favorite person.”

He giggled softly and hummed. “You always make me feel so wanted and loved.”

“That's because you are,” I chuckled, smiling to myself. “You sound a little more cheery tonight.”

“Mikey had Pete over this afternoon and they were getting cute on the couch and then I came down and we all played video games together. It was nice, it made me forget, I guess.”

“Good,” I purred softly. “I'm very glad, Gee baby.”

“Would you be excited to have sex with me again?” Gerard asked after a short pause.

“Of course,” I smiled, laying back and looking up at the ceiling. “I love your body, Gee, and I love making you feel good.”

“I want to try sucking you this time,” Gerard said shyly, with a low giggle. “To pay you back.”

“Alright, sweetie. But I think we should just do basics first, and see how you feel from there.”

“Yeah, okay..”

I sighed quietly, glancing at my clock. “I gotta go, Gee, I have that math test tomorrow and I need sleep.”

“Hmm, okay,” Gerard murmured. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Goodnight, baby.”

 ~

Gerard walked into the hallway, smiling at me nervously as he kicked his shoes off. “Frankie? Can we just get it over with?”

I blinked and shook my head. “Nuh-uh. You're not a hooker, Gee, you're my boyfriend and I love you. We’re not gonna do it for the sake of it. We can start right now, but we’re not rushing..”

He went bright red and nodded slightly. “O-okay, Frankie.”

I kissed his cheek softly and brushed his hair behind his ears lightly. “I'll be so gentle with you. I promise. Just like last time. And the same things, yeah? Remember you promised to tell me to stop.”

Gerard nodded, shifting closer to me. I ruffled his hair lightly. “Come on. Upstairs we go..”

I gently led Gerard up to my room, pushing the door open slowly. He stepped inside and gasped. “Fuck, Frankie..”

I slipped in after him, closing the door silently. “All for you,” I murmured as he looked around the room, at the rose petals on the bed and the candles burning all around the room.

I pulled the curtains to and kissed Gerard softly, starting to unbutton his shirt slowly. His breath hitched and I kissed his jaw. “It's okay, Gee. Would you rather undress yourself?”

He nodded quickly and I smiled, stepping back and slipping my jeans and shirt off. I went to the bedside table, pulling out lube and condoms, setting them both on the top.

“I'm anxious, Frankie,” Gerard said quietly. I turned and smiled at him.

“Don't be. It'll be just like our first couple times, gentle and slow and easy. You'll be just fine.”

I kicked my boxers away as Gerard climbed onto the bed. I watched his ass, grinning to myself and feeling my cock twitch.

“You're beautiful,” I said out loud, climbing up next to him and kissing the back of his shoulder. He shivered and I purred softly, running a fingertip down his spine. “Shh. I've got you..”

He laid down on his side, his back facing me, so I grabbed the lube and coated one finger, slowly pushing it into him. He didn't really react.

“You okay, baby?” I asked gently, kissing the back of his neck. “Is this okay?”

Gerard nodded slightly. “I just want you in me, Frankie. I don't want all this..”

“It'll hurt..”

“I don't care. Please?”

“Okay, beautiful.”

I pulled my finger out of him and wiped it off before rolling a condom on and lubing myself up.

“I've got you..”

I threw a leg over his hips, lining myself up and pushing in a little quicker than I'd meant to. Gerard gasped, tensing, but quickly relaxed, letting out a soft whimper. I buried my face in his neck, moving in and out carefully, trying to build up a good speed. Gerard reached behind him, grabbing at my hand. “F-fuck...Frankie, I w-want you to pound me! R-really...I just want that c-cock balls deep in me...p-please!”

I couldn't resist the begging, rolling him onto his stomach, then pulling him up on his hands and knees. I grabbed ahold of his hair and one of his shoulders carefully, starting to growl as I slammed in and out of the squealing boy underneath me. He grabbed at my hands and screamed and cried and shook, but I kept going. I was pounding him, but fairly slowly, still conscious of who the ass under me belonged to.

After a couple minutes of this, I reached under him, starting to rub at the head of his little cock quickly, grinning as his screams only increased in volume and laughing triumphantly as he slammed his hips back against mine and arched his back, his ass tightening around my cock as he came. The shifting of his muscles pushed me over the edge and I groaned, thrusting a couple more times into Gerard's sensitive hole. He whimpered, then sighed as I slid out of him, kissing his tailbone. “Shh, Gee..” I murmured as I cleaned up. He was still on his hands and knees, shaking badly, his freshly dyed red hair falling over his face. I touched his bare side lightly. “Gee baby? Are you alright?”

He suddenly collapsed, whimpering as he curled up. I knelt in front of him, stroking his hair frantically. “Gee? Are you alright?”

He grinned at me sleepily, grabbing at my cheeks lightly. “F-fuck...I'm great...t-tired..”

I smiled and pulled Gerard into my arms, rubbing his bare back slowly. “Oh baby...I got kind of carried away, are you feeling okay?”

Gerard kissed my cheek softly, snuggling closer to me and burying his face in my neck. “I'm perfect. I wanna try sucking you, but I'm too tired..”

I chuckled and stroked his hair slowly, running my fingertips over his slender side. “Maybe after a nap.”

“Yeah.”

 

I wandered around the house in my boxers, drinking Ricky's whiskey and singing to myself. Gerard was still asleep upstairs, and I had gotten bored. That was one good thing about having Ricky around - alcohol. Chris never touched the stuff, so there had never been any open bottles in the house, until Ricky had brought his own. I had only had a couple fingers by the time Gerard walked downstairs, completely naked. He’d redone his hair and makeup, and looked absolutely stunning as he walked up to me. I grinned and waved the bottle at him. “Want some?”

Gerard nodded quickly, smiling at me shyly. I kissed him and poured him a glass, then put the bottle back in the cupboard. I knew not to take too much in one go. Gerard knocked the whiskey back easily, then kissed me hard, pushing me back against the kitchen counter, his fingers tangled in my hair. Suddenly his lips parted from mine and he sank to his knees, tugging my boxers out of the way before licking up the inside of my thigh.

“Ahh, fuck yes,” I muttered, setting my glass down and tangling my fingers in Gerard’s hair. He glanced up at me, uncertainty masked by the slight drunken air. He kissed the head of my already hard and leaking dick, then took my head into his mouth slowly. I bucked up at the feeling and accidentally hit the back of his throat, causing him to choke and gag.

I pulled out of Gerard's mouth and went to my knees quickly, feeling myself sober up almost immediately as Gerard gagged again, hanging his head. Tears dripped off the end of his nose, his body trembling. I pulled him into my arms, nuzzling the side of his head. “Shit, Gee. I didn't mean to-... _fuck!_...I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so so sorry..”

Gerard started to sob, clinging to me as he fell apart. “I'm u-useless! I'm s-sorry...so s-sorry. I'm a sh-shitty boyfriend..”

“No, baby, I'm the shitty boyfriend,” I sighed, rocking him back and forth slowly. “I shouldn't have been drinking. That was really stupid of me and I'm sorry. No more alcohol when you're over, I promise. Now how about I get you a popsicle and we go sit outside? It's a nice day today.”

Gerard shook his head, shivering in my arms. “I w-wanna stay inside..”

“Okay. Go sit on the couch, baby,” I murmured, stroking his cheek slowly. “I'll be right back.”

I helped Gerard to the couch, then hurried off, coming back with two pairs of pajama pants. I grabbed a popsicle from the freezer on my way into the living room. Gerard was curled up under a blanket on the couch, still sniffling. I sighed and handed him the treat, then pulled the blanket away, ignoring his protests as I slipped the pants over his legs. “Shh, baby..” I kissed his cheek, smiling at him sadly. “Just relax. I love you. I do..”

“I'm s-sorry-”

“Shh. I shouldn't have let you try and I shouldn't have hurt you. It's my fault, Gee.”

I slipped my pair of pants on and sat down next to him, my hand resting on his thigh lightly. “Today was meant to make you feel better, and I fucked it up..”

Gerard smiled at me, his lips red from the popsicle. “You didn't fuck it up. I do feel better, I just...it hurt and it scared me..”

“I know, I'm sorry,” I sighed, wrapping an arm around him tightly. “Maybe we can save that for another day, yeah? It's not a big deal, Gee. I might have to take you up for round two later, though.”

He giggled softly and smiled at me shyly. “Can we do it in the bath? I've always wanted to try..”

 ~

The lavender-scented water sloshed around us as Gerard bounced up and down on my cock eagerly, letting his head fall back as he reached down and held onto my thighs, rolling his hips in a way that a person who'd only had sex three times before should not know how to do. I was thoroughly enjoying myself until I looked a little closer. Gerard's torso was even more pale than usual, and I could practically see his ribs through his milky skin, his hips jutting out uncomfortably. He slowed his movements and sat up slightly, looking at me worriedly.

“Frankie? Did I do something wrong?”

“Fuck no!” I said quickly, a little too quickly as it made him jump. “No, baby. I just...I can see all your ribs and you look very pale..”

He laughed softly. “I'm always very pale. And I lost weight after...y'know..” He trailed off, his smile fading.

“Well. I'd like you to put on some weight for me,” I answered gently, but matter-of-factly. “I'm worried about you.”

Gerard nodded slightly, leaning down to kiss me. “I love you, Frankie.”

I purred softly as he rolled his hips again, this time almost in a circular motion. “Fuck! I l-love you too, baby..”

Gerard grinned, starting to bounce again eagerly, fucking himself on me brutally and screaming out each time I thrust up to meet him and hit his prostate. It wasn't long at all before Gerard bucked his hips one last time and shuddered before sliding off me. I wrapped a hand around myself, jerking off quickly as I studied Gerard wallowing in his orgasm.

I came almost immediately, sighing in relief and sinking down in the bath. “Shiiit. That was perfect, Gee. You're perfect..”

Gerard climbed on top of me again, laying half on my chest this time as he curled up, closing his eyes. “I'm extra fuckin’ sleepy now..”

“Then sleep, beautiful. I can take you to bed in a bit.”

 ~~~

Gerard was crying in his sleep when I woke up the next morning. I yawned and stretched and then noticed the tears on his cheeks. I shook him awake quickly, kissing him softly. “Gerard! Baby..”

He shifted and opened his eyes, blinking up at me with more tears falling down his cheeks. I wiped them away quickly, frowning at him.

“What's going on, sweetie?”

“I h-had a bad d-dream..”

I pulled him into a tight hug, kissing the side of his head softly. “Oh baby. You're okay, baby. I'm here. Frankie’s here...what was it about, Gee?”

“Y-you leaving m-me..”

I sighed and pulled him even closer to me, kissing him softly. “Don't be silly. I'm not going anywhere, Gee. I love you, Gerard Arthur Way, and I'm pretty sure I'm _in_ love with you too. I can teach someone to suck dick but I can't teach them to be beautiful and loving and kind and unique and as perfect as you.”

Gerard sniffed, burying his face in my shoulder and clinging to me. I rubbed his back slowly as he sobbed, letting him just cry it out.

Once he'd stopped crying and calmed down completely, Gerard sat up, slipping his hand under the covers. He trailed his fingers down my chest, then started palming my dick through my pajamas, causing me to moan and try to push him away.

“Gee.”

“I want to!”

He smiled at me a little nervously, slipping his hand under the waistband of my pajamas, wrapping his fingers around my length tightly. I gasped and threw the covers away so I could watch what he was doing. He grinned and let go of me, quickly pulling my pajama pants off before kicking his own away. Then Gerard spread my legs, kneeling down in between them and starting to pump my cock quickly, his small hand sliding up and down easily. I groaned and bucked up, but Gerard flicked my balls.

“Shit! What the fuck?!”

He grinned at me. “No bucking, Frank.”

I moaned again, watching his face. “Holy fuck, you're _hot_ when you take charge.”

Gerard smiled and started to pump me again, this time running the heel of his hand over my head every time he stroked up. This got me hard in a matter of seconds and Gerard hunkered down, one hand wrapped around the base of my dick, the other hand cradling my balls. “No bucking, Frank,” he growled, then kissed my tip before pulling me into his mouth, sucking on the head lightly. I whimpered, grabbing onto the sheets either side of me as I tried to stifle the buck. It didn't work and I felt myself slide higher in Gerard’s mouth just before he pinched my balls and I cried out in pain, jerking away. “Come on, Frankie,” Gerard purred sweetly, clearly enjoying the power way too much. “It's only one simple rule.”

And then he went down, pulling me all the way into the back of his throat, tightening his muscles around my head. I started to relax, slipping one hand into his hair. “God, Gee. I n-need you..”

He smiled and pulled back off with a wet pop, smirking at me. “Beg.”

I nearly came there and then, but instead just whined softly. “Fuck..Gee, please baby, please! I n-need you to suck me off, I'm so turned on, I need you to relieve me..”

Gerard put two fingers up to my mouth, grinning. “Suck.”

I nodded and opened my mouth obediently, sucking on his fingers softly, careful to coat them completely. He pulled them out and smiled sweetly. “Thank you.”

Gerard reached behind him and slipped the fingers into himself, completely shocking me. “Gee,” I murmured breathlessly as he started to fuck himself on his fingers,his face contorted in pleasure. He took me back into his mouth and began bobbing up and down, my head hitting the back of his throat every time. “F-fuck, baby..” I stuttered, watching the fingers sliding in and out and imagining it was my cock. It wasn't a huge stretch of my imagination while Gerard's tight throat was substituting for his ass.

“G-Gee, baby, I'm gonna-”

I bucked just slightly, spurting right in the back of Gerard's throat. He closed his eyes and swallowed with difficulty, then started to bob his head again slowly, milking me as I whimpered and groaned. Finally, Gerard pulled off, a string of wet saliva running from his bottom lip to my dick.

“Holy fuckin’..”

He pulled his fingers out and crawled up to me, wiping them on my chest casually. “Mhm. I watched a lot of porn while you were asleep,” he said smugly. I wrapped an arm around him, panting softly as I kissed him sloppily, still tasting my salty cum on his lips. “You in charge is my new favorite thing,” I grinned, nuzzling his jaw. “Remind me to buy you a vibrator.”

His eyes lit up and he purred. “Oh Frankie, please..”

I kissed him gently and let myself fall back to the bed. “I'm fuckin’ exhausted and it's ten in the morning.”

Gerard giggled and I kissed his cheek. “Y’know, half the reason I cum when we have sex is because I love you so goddamn much. About a quarter is because you're so fucking sexy, and the last quarter is whatever we’re doing.”

He blushed and kissed my jaw. “There was a sweet statement in there somewhere.”

“Maybe,” I grinned, and he threw a leg over my hips, pulling me closer.

“I think I'm in love with you too, Frank Anthony Iero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed that, the next chapter is the last full-length one for this part ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**F**

I was at Gerard's house, helping him study after school when I got the call. I picked up my phone and lay back on the bed, Gerard stroking my thigh innocently. 

“Hello?”

“Is this Frank Iero?”

“Um, yeah?” I mumbled, suddenly uncertain. The man on the other end of the phone sounded stern and unfriendly. 

“Your adopted father, Chris Cerulli, has been in a car accident.”

I sat bolt upright, Gerard watching me worriedly. 

“I-is he okay? What happened? What's going on?”

“He's been rushed to intensive care at the St. Mary’s hospital. We can arrange transportation or-”

“No, I um...I’ll get there myself..”

I hung up and blinked, about to say something to Gerard when my phone rang again. I picked it up immediately, hoping someone would tell me it was all a joke. 

“Frankie?” It was Ricky, his normally soft voice hoarse and shaky. “I'm...I’m coming by to pick you up.”

“Can Gerard come too?”

“Yeah, he can. Chris likes him,” Ricky murmured with a soft, nervous chuckle. “He's gonna be okay, Frankie.”

“What happened?”

Ricky took a shaky breath. “An eighteen-wheeler lost control on the highway and Chris's car rolled over.”

“F-fuck..”

“I gotta go, I'll be there in ten.”

Ricky hung up and I dropped the phone, staring at the floor blankly. 

“Frankie? What's happened, baby?” Gerard asked gently, stroking my hair slowly. “I'm here.”

“C-Chris was in a car accident...Ricky's p-picking us up to go to the h-hospital..”

Gerard's eyes widened and he hugged me tightly, running his fingers through my hair. “He’ll be okay, Frankie. He's really strong and he loves you more than anything. He’ll pull through. I promise.”

I let Gerard lead me downstairs, stumbling a little on the last step. 

He gently helped me into my jacket, kissing my forehead softly and grabbing his backpack. “It's okay, Frankie. It's gonna be okay, I'm right here,” Gerard murmured, cupping my jaw in his hands. I sniffed, starting to shake suddenly. “I'm s-scared.”

Gerard hugged me tightly, rubbing my back slowly. “I know, Frankie, I know. It is scary. But it's gonna be okay. Really. Ricky's here now, are you ready to go?”

I nodded slightly and he smiled sadly, pecking my lips softly. “I love you, Frankie. Come on..”

Gerard walked me out to Ricky's car, helping me into the backseat and getting in next to me. Ricky glanced back, and I could see he'd been crying. “Hey guys.”

“Hi.”

Gerard rubbed the outside of my thigh lightly, watching me worriedly. I felt completely numb, my hands shaking. I could barely think straight. I unbuckled my seatbelt when we were halfway there, shifting into the middle seat and buckling up there instead, cuddling into Gerard’s side. He kissed the side of my head, wrapping an arm around me as I shook. 

_ Intensive care unit. _

I saw the sign as Ricky pulled into the parking lot and shivered. Gerard gently turned my head to face him and kissed me, stroking my cheeks slowly. When he broke away, he rested his forehead on mine. “I'm here, Frank. Right here.” 

I nodded slightly, taking a deep breath before getting out of the car. I followed Ricky inside, keeping a death grip on Gerard’s hand. I  _ hated  _ hospitals. After my own stays there and my disastrous visit to Gerard, hospitals just made me feel anxious and sick. I hated the smell, the colors, the rush of people working everywhere. Gerard let go of my hand and wrapped an arm around my waist instead, kissing my cheek. I shifted, walking even closer to him as we followed Ricky down the halls. He finally stopped outside a door and shot a nervous look back at me. 

“He's out of surgery, but just barely..”

I nodded, swallowing hard. “O-okay..”

Ricky pushed the door open and I closed my eyes for a couple seconds before Gerard gently pulled me forward. “Come on, baby. Chris needs you..”

I nodded slightly, forcing my feet to move. As soon as I stepped inside and saw him, I whipped around, burying my face in Gerard's chest. I could hear Ricky crying softly, but no tears were coming for me. I just shook, clinging to Gerard for a few minutes before glancing back at Chris. 

“Fuck..” I whimpered, and Gerard ran his fingers through my hair slowly. 

Chris looked dead.

His skin was even paler than usual, his arms full of needles. A tube had been put down his throat to help him breathe, and he was covered in bandages, some of which were already soaked with blood. 

Ricky walked over and gently pulled me away from Gerard, hugging me tightly. “It's gonna be okay. Come hold his hand..”

I shook my head quickly, pushing Ricky away a little harder than I meant to. Gerard gently grabbed me, smiling at Ricky sadly. “I think Frankie needs a break, we’ll be back soon.”

I held Gerard's hand tightly as he walked me out of the room, making a beeline for the nearest door that would take us outside of the building. Once outside, Gerard dug around in his pockets and pulled out a cigarette and lighter. He handed me the cigarette, lighting it for me. “You okay?”

I shook my head quickly, taking a long, much-needed drag. “F-fuck no. He l-looks like he's g-gone already.”

Gerard sighed, tears welling up in his eyes. “I know, Frankie. But he's strong, and he loves you. He won't leave you..” 

I sniffed, staring at him angrily. “How can you do that?”

“Do what?” Gerard asked softly, brushing my hair out of my eyes as a tear ran down his cheek. 

“Just cry like that...I can't fucking cry. I want to cry, but I can't fucking cry..”

He smiled sadly, drying his eyes on his sleeve. “People react to things differently, Frankie. You don't have to cry, yeah? It doesn't mean you care any less. And part of it is shock. That's all.”

I nearly finished the cigarette with my next drag and I knocked the ash off quickly. “Fuck.”

“Do you wanna go back inside? You could hold his hand..”

I shrugged, looking down at the ground. “I dunno what I want, Gee. I guess I wanna be there for him, but I can't look at him like that. It's terrifying..”

“I know, sweetie,” Gerard murmured, stroking my cheek slowly. I gently shrugged him off, looking away. 

“No, you don't. That's my _dad_ , Gee. And he's fucking dying..”

Gerard sniffed and a fresh round of tears ran down his cheeks. “I'm sorry, Frankie. But he's not dying, he's stable right now. I heard the nurse say it. He's doing okay..”

I nodded slightly, finally feeling my nose sting and my throat close up. It wasn't pretty crying like Gerard, where the tears ran down his unchanged face. It wasn't cute, ‘my fiancé is hurt’ crying like Ricky. It was ugly, raw, and more snot than tears. 

Gerard gently took the cigarette from me and handed me a tissue. “It's alright. Let it out, Frankie…”

I slid down the wall and curled up on the ground, burying my face in my hands as sobs wracked my body. Gerard crouched down, futilely trying to calm me down. After a few minutes, he gave up and just sat next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. 

“I love you, Frankie,” he said as I started to run out of breath and tears. 

I sniffed and wiped my nose on my sleeve. “I know. I love you too..”

Gerard smiled sadly and kissed my temple softly. “You're the strongest person I know, Frankie-”

I scoffed and he rolled his eyes fondly. “You are, sweetie. And I think you should go and hold Chris's hand, even if it's just for a second. Go and kiss his cheek and tell him you love him. Tell him what you told me; that he's your dad and you need him. You don't have to sit with him all day, but you need to be there, yeah? Because he loves you just as much as you love him.”

I rubbed my eyes, looking up at Gerard shakily. “Come with me?”

“Of course, sweetie. You didn't have to ask..”

 ~

I sat down next to the bed, Gerard next to me. Ricky had left to go talk to Chris's doctor, and so it was just the three of us. I reached over and took Chris's hand, wincing when I felt how cold it was. I gently rubbed his fingers in between my hands to warm them up, sniffling. Gerard leaned against me slightly, as a reminder that he was there. I stood up suddenly and leaned over the bed, combing Chris's matted black hair with my fingers. 

“He hates tangles,” I mumbled to myself, not really sure why. 

Gerard gently tapped my side, smiling sadly as he handed me the comb. I nodded my thanks and finished brushing Chris's hair, my fingers touching his cheek every now and then. 

“I love you, Dad,” I murmured when I'd finished, feeling a little stupid. “I miss you.”

Gerard stood up and kissed my cheek softly. “I'm proud of you, Frankie. I'm gonna go get some drinks, okay? Are you alright to stay here?”

I nodded slightly, sitting down again and grabbing onto Chris's hand, still trying to warm it up. “I'm fine..”

Gerard kissed the top of my head and slipped out of the room. I sat there for a while, holding Chris's hand and watching him as he slept. 

I jumped when a nurse walked in and she smiled at me sadly. “Hi. I've come to check he's getting enough oxygen.”

I nodded slightly and sniffed. “He seems cold,” I mumbled, pointing to his hand. “And pale.”

The nurse blinked and checked his blood bag. “He's had plenty of transfusions..”

I frowned, standing up and carefully pulling the sheets down. The nurse helped me, wincing when she saw the bruising on his stomach. “Okay. I need you out, Frank, I'm sorry, I have to call the doctor.”

I started to cry again silently and hurried out of the room just as people came running up to the door, shouting and pushing me aside. I jogged away from the commotion, towards the vending machines. I could see Gerard down the hall, his bright red hair sticking out like a sore thumb in all the white and pale blue. He started running suddenly, running back to me as I stood there, shaking and crying. He set his bag down and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in his neck, trembling all over as I heard them wheeling the bed out of the room behind me. 

“What's going on, Frankie? Do you know?”

I gently pulled away from Gerard, rubbing my eyes. “I th-think he's bleeding inside..”

Gerard's face slackened, but he tried to pretend he wasn't worried. 

“He's been on blood for a while, Frankie, he'll be okay. They just gotta fix whatever's bleeding..”

I heard footsteps behind me and Ricky walked up, his eyes red from crying. “I was j-just talking to his doctor before they had to take him back for surgery. He's doing good, they think they should be able to take the tube out and let him breathe on his own tomorrow, but they're worried about brain damage...he got hit on the head badly..” 

I shivered and Gerard pulled me closer to him, stroking my hair. 

“They won't know how bad it is until he wakes up..”

“And how long is that likely to be?” Gerard asked quietly, rubbing my back. 

“They don't know,” Ricky mumbled, biting his lip lightly. “They might have to put him in a coma so he heals.”

Gerard sighed as I started to sob all over again. “Frank and I are gonna go for another walk. Come on..” He gently led me outside, sitting me down on a bench in the courtyard and handing me a bottle of water. “Try to drink something, Frankie.”

I shook my head and he sighed, uncapping it and pressing the open end to my lips. “Drink. You're gonna get a headache from all this crying and you're gonna need the fluids.”

I took a reluctant sip and Gerard kissed my forehead softly. “I also bought some granola and chocolate bars, but I guess you probably don't want them yet..”

I shook my head again and Gerard ran his fingers through my hair. “It's five, and the hospital closes at eight. I'm gonna text my dad and ask him to pick us up, yeah? I don't want you to be at home on your own.” 

I drank a little more of my water and Gerard wrapped his arm around me, resting his head on my shoulder. 

 ~

About two hours later, Chris was out of surgery and had been moved to a different room, so Gerard and I wandered back inside and down the halls. Ricky was sitting on the floor outside the room, his head in his hands. Gerard glanced at me, then sighed. “Ricky?”

He lifted his head slightly. “Chris's parents are coming tomorrow.”

“And?”

“And they don't like me,” Ricky mumbled, standing up slowly. “That's all.”

“Oh..”

Gerard pushed the room door open and gently tugged me inside. A doctor was fiddling with one of the machines, a nurse helping him. I walked straight to the bed and grabbed Chris's hand, holding it tightly. The doctor glanced at me. “You must be Frank, right?”

I blinked and nodded slightly. “Yeah..”

The doctor pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to me along with a pen. “Write your number on that and I promise I'll call you if there's any change, okay?”

I nodded, smiling just a little. “Okay. Anytime, even if it's one in the morning. I'll answer.”

“Good.”

I scribbled the number and handed it back, glancing down at Chris. “How is he now?”

“Better. We found the source of the bleeding and fixed that, and we made sure there weren't any more problems. He's breathing better without as much help, and he shouldn't need much more blood. We’re keeping him on very heavy pain meds and some sedatives, we don't really want him to wake up yet.”

I sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs. “Will you be able to wake him up soon?”

“We don't know, Frank, I'm sorry. If we try now, no amount of pain meds will make him feel better. It's better that he stays asleep.”

I nodded, rubbing my thumb over Chris's knuckles. “I understand. What happened? I didn't really..”

“Well, I don't know all the specifics of the accident, but I know the car rolled and was pushed against the barrier by the lorry, which was still moving at a fair speed. He has some minor burns, quite a lot of cuts, tons of bruises, a few broken and shattered ribs, and a head injury. He's lucky it's not worse, honestly.”

I sighed and Gerard sat down next to me, rubbing my shoulder. “Do you think he's gonna be okay?” Gerard asked softly. The doctor sighed. 

“Well, I can't really say for sure, I'm sorry. His body will heal, he's already starting to pull through on some of his injuries. We're taking him for a scan tomorrow to try and get an idea of how his brain is, but it's hard to know for sure until he wakes up.”

Gerard kissed the side of my head softly. “See, Frankie? He's gonna be okay.”

The doctor smiled. “I've got to go, but I'm on the night shift tonight, so I'll call you if anything changes.”

I thanked him quietly and watched him go, then rested my head on Gerard’s shoulder. “He's gonna be okay,” I said to myself softly. Gerard stroked my hair slowly. 

“Yes. He is.” 

~~~ 

I woke up with Gerard still asleep next to me, his back turned to me. I ran a hand down his spine and he shivered. “Hey,” he mumbled sleepily, rolling onto his back. 

“We need to go back to the hospital.”

He groaned softly. “It's early, Frankie.”

“I know, but Chris's parents are coming today. I want some time with him before they get here.” 

Gerard sighed and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Okay. Have you not met them before?”

“No, I don't even know their names. Chris didn't talk to them all that much. I think they got divorced when he was a kid and got back together or something. He didn't like to talk about it much.” 

Gerard snorted. “Well it sounds like you're a lot higher up on the family food chain.”

I shrugged and slid out of bed, yawning. “Come on. I need a shower.”

“Me too..”

I glanced at him and he shrugged. “Saves water.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled slightly as Gerard walked me to the bathroom. He shut the door behind us, making a point of locking it before turning the tap on and casually undressing. I stripped as well, stretching before stepping into the big shower. 

“Your house is so fancy,” I grinned as Gerard got in next to me. 

He rolled his eyes and shrugged, grabbing the shampoo bottle. “It's a good thing Mikey's at school or he'd kill us.”

I chuckled and started washing myself off, watching Gerard out of the corner of my eye. He looked even more beautiful than usual under the spray as he basked in the warmth of the water, his eyes closed and his face turned up. “I love you,” I said suddenly, and he smiled, looking at me. “I love you too.” 

Gerard stepped out from under the spray and gently shoved me into it instead, helping me rinse the shampoo out of my hair. I sighed, closing my eyes until I felt his fingers against my thighs. I looked down and shook my head. “Gerard..”

He was kneeling down in front of me, one hand on my hip and the other on my thigh. “Do you want me to?” He asked softly, stroking his thumb over the inside of my thigh. “It might help you relax.”

I sighed and shook my head again. “No, Gee. I'd rather have a hug.”

He pouted, but got to his knees and pulled me against him, letting me bury my face in his neck. 

~ 

I ran into the room, dumping my backpack and grinning. “Gee!”

Chris looked ten times better, his skin much less white. The tube had been taken out of his throat and he seemed warmer when I touched his hand. Some of the bandages had been taken off, revealing scabs, while the others that were still on were clean and looked comfortable. I brushed his hair out on the pillow, checking it for tangles just as Gerard’s arm slipped around my waist. “Baby...I just spoke to the doctor.”

I looked up at him excitedly. “He's better! He's gonna be okay, right? Is he gonna wake up soon?”

Gerard sighed softly and brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheeks. “He's breathing on his own and he's healing very well, but he...he's in a coma, Frankie. They think his body is trying to heal his brain and he's...he's not gonna wake up anytime soon.”

I stared at him for a few seconds, then looked down at Chris. “But he looks so much better,” I said in a tiny voice, my throat closing up as I struggled to breathe. 

“Frankie...he's gonna get better,” Gerard murmured, pulling me against his chest. “His body is trying to make him better, that's what's happening. Apparently his scan looked okay, they think he's probably going to be okay when he wakes up, it's just gonna take a little longer than expected…”

I grabbed at Chris's hand, tears running down my cheeks as I trembled.

“But...I  _ need _ him..”

The door opened suddenly and I looked up. Gerard smiled at me and wiped my cheeks, not turning around. The woman gasped and hurried over to Chris. I stepped back quickly, shrinking back against Gerard’s chest as he wrapped an arm around me calmly. “It's okay, Frankie,” he murmured in my ear. “It's alright. How about we go for a walk?”

I nodded and he gently pulled me out of the room, starting off down the hallway. 

“Hold on!” A man called from behind us. “Are you Frank?” 

Gerard chuckled. “Nope. Who are you?”

“I'm Chris's dad. And I was talking to the guy you're with.”

I turned around shyly, running a hand through my hair. “Um. Yeah, I'm Frank.”

He stuck his hand out. “I'm Chuck, Chris's dad.”

Gerard giggled as I shook his hand. “Sorry, it's just so funny that someone so normal is Chris's dad..”

I elbowed Gerard in the ribs gently, but smiled slightly.

“Well, it surprised me as well,” Chuck grinned. “How is he?”

The slight smile dropped off my face and I shook my head. “He's in a coma.”

“Shit. Really?”

Gerard nodded slightly. “He had a pretty bad head injury, but they think he's gonna be okay. It's just gonna take a while.” 

I sniffed, rubbing one of my eyes lightly. “I need him,” I mumbled, mostly to myself. Chuck glanced at me worriedly. 

“Well...Jackie and I have been talking about moving him to Pennsylvania so we can keep an eye on him..”

I blinked and Gerard clenched his jaw, rubbing my side to keep me calm. It didn't work. “You can't!” I burst out, feeling the tears welling up as Gerard sighed, kissing the top of my head gently. “I live here and he's my dad! You can't take him away from me, I won't let you!”

Chuck nodded slightly. “We won't take him away from you, we know that wouldn't be okay. But we’ve spoken to social services and they want you to stay with Chris's closest relatives while he's in hospital. That's us, so you'd be-”

“No. I won't go and you can't make me, you can't take my dad away from me!”

“Frank, please, we need to talk about-”

“Fuck you!” I screamed, letting the tears go as Gerard gently tried to pull me away. “Fuck you all! And fuck God cause he fucking hates me and he's a fucking cunt!”

I tore myself out of Gerard’s grip and sprinted down the hall, wishing I could just run out of my life and into someone else's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-;  
> It's 3 am...that's still the morning, right? I mean...technically   
> Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, even though it's sad. The next chapter-let thing is the last before part two, so if you haven't already, go ahead and check the new tags. I will give you the first two chapters at once for being nice, loyal readers :)   
> I've never really been popular on these sites, but having a few loyal people is good enough for me <3 thanks guys


	18. Chapter 18

**G**

I found Frank curled up in a supply closet, crying his eyes out and hugging his knees. He was rocking himself back and forth slowly, whispering something under his breath. I knelt down in front of him, stroking his shin. “Frankie?”

He scrambled out of his corner and flung his arms around my neck, burying his face in my shoulder. 

“I can't go, Gee!”

“I know, Frankie, I know. You're not going anywhere right now, I promise. I'll call my parents and we’ll try and keep you here or something. We need to talk to social services and-”

“Why?” Frank sniffed, looking at me despairingly. “They've never cared about what I wanted..”

I sighed and kissed his forehead softly. “We will figure something out, Frankie. I promise you. I didn't know you were religious,” I added, trying to lighten the mood. He giggled through his tears. 

“No, Chris kind of is. I dunno. I just got mad..”

“Well, either way, you denounced God pretty effectively.”

Frank was laughing now, laughing uncontrollably as he curled against my chest. I chuckled and rubbed his back slowly, resting my chin on the top of his head. I knew the feeling; it was either laugh or cry or just curl up in a ball and drown in the pain. I held him until he calmed down, rocking him slowly. “It's gonna be alright, Frankie.” 

 ~

I watched as Frank curled up next to Chris. He looked smaller than usual, his eyes and cheeks still red from crying. Jackie and Chuck had gone out for lunch, and I'd urged Frank to try and take a nap. He'd complained that it was impossible to sleep in the little plastic chairs, so I'd helped him onto the bed. I hated seeing him like this, so helpless and afraid. He closed his eyes and I stroked his side slowly, watching him drift off. 

The door swung open a few minutes later and Ricky slipped in. I glanced up at him. “Shh, he just fell asleep..”

Ricky nodded and jerked his head towards the door. “Can I talk to you?”

I nodded quickly and kissed Frank's cheek as I got up, checking he was still asleep before I walked out. Ricky sighed quietly, leaning against the wall. 

“I just spent the last two hours arguing with social services.”

“And?” I asked, biting my lip lightly. Ricky winced. 

“They won't budge. They think he should go with Chris to Pennsylvania, and the hospital don't have a problem with moving him. It's fucked up. Really fucked up, but I don't think we can change it.”

I stared at the ground, trying not to start trembling. “How am I supposed to tell Frank that he has to go and there's nothing I can do? How am I supposed to tell the guy I love that he has to move states away from me? I can't..”

Ricky leaned over, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “I understand. I can't go with Chris because of my job. I'm gonna miss him so so badly...the only thing I can tell you is that when he wakes up, there's gonna be fucking trouble. He knows how much you and Frank mean to each other, and how fragile you both are. I wouldn't be surprised if he never talks to his parents again. I just hope he wakes up soon, but it could be anywhere from two weeks to years.” 

“You're really good at comforting people, Ricky,” I mumbled bitterly. He sighed. 

“No, I'm not. I'm sorry.” 

 ~~~

I kissed Frank, pulling his body against mine. I'd worn his favorite of my outfits, my cropped sweatshirt with the pink skirt and cat tights. I tangled my fingers in his hair, holding him as he kissed me so deeply we could barely breathe. As soon as he broke away, I pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair slowly. “I love you, Frankie. I love you..”

He sniffed, rubbing my back slowly. “I love you too, Gerard. So so much..”

I gently pulled away from him, knowing my makeup was ruined as tears spilled down my cheeks. “Here..” I unclipped the key necklace from around my neck, instead fastening it around his. “You have it. Now and forever; the key to my heart. I want you to keep it,” I said quickly, before he could protest. “I took the bird off. That's mine.”

Frank smiled, tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. “I'm gonna miss you.”

“I'm gonna miss you too, Frankie. But you gotta live your life, love.”

“So do you.”

I nodded and kissed him again, sweetly and briefly. “Goodbye, Frank. I hope Chris gets better soon.”

He ducked his head, his messy hair falling everywhere. “Goodbye, Gerard. I love you.” 

I watched him get into the car, and I watched it drive away. 

For the first time in my life, I wanted to punch someone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short, but you will have two more chapters up very soon.


	19. Part Two - One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to check the new tags for this story!  
> Also most of this one will be from Gerard's POV, so we're switching main characters a little.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

**~ About 10 Years Later ~**

 

**F**

I slipped into the club and frowned. Good atmosphere, good music. Shitloads of people. This wasn't good, not for me. I pushed my way to the bar, glancing over the space and the dancing people. The stage was big, as was the dance floor.

_Fuck._

All I could hope for now was shitty drinks or shitty bartenders. I leaned over the bar, my key necklace falling out of my shirt and dangling slightly. I held my hand up to catch the bartender’s attention and he hurried over. His black hair was long and thick, falling to below his jaw in layers, the messy fringe falling almost in his eyes.

“What can I get you?”

My heart nearly stopped. He was thin, very thin, and taller than I'd remembered. But the way he talked was the same, half out of the side of his mouth, and his eyes...his eyes were the same soft hazel, almost seeming to change color as he shifted.

I blinked, snapping out of my trance. “Shit. Um, I'm sorry. You remind me of someone.”

I glanced at the menu and winced. “These all sound so...heterosexual.”

The bartender laughed and nodded. “I know. It's horrible, isn't it?”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “Give me whatever you think is best.”

I watched his hands as he worked quickly, his hair falling in his face slightly.

“How long have you been working here?”

He stopped and smiled at me as he poured the dark red liquid into a glass. “Just about a year now.”

“Cool.”

I handed him my card and he froze, running his thumb over the raised letters of my name.

“Gerard Way,” I said quietly, or at least relatively so. He jumped and looked up at me, his eyes wide and worried. “Frank?”

I grinned, nodding slightly and sitting back a little. “I thought so. The hair threw me off..”

“You're um..very tattooed..”

I took the drink as he handed it to me and took a sip. It was good, but I didn't really know how I felt about that anymore.

“And you're taller.”

I slipped a business card out of my pocket as he ran the card, now avoiding eye contact with me. “Here. Call me,” I hummed, fiddling with the necklace. I saw him look up and he hesitated before giving my credit card back, keeping his eyes fixed on the key pendant. I slipped my card away and slid off my bar stool, walking into the crowd with my drink.

 ~~~

I ran a hand through my hair, tapping my foot lightly. I'd arranged to meet up with Gerard for lunch and he was late. Twenty minutes late.

I didn't mind, not really. I wasn't angry or frustrated. Just impatient. I wanted to see him again, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and tell him I never stopped loving him.

But that would be crazy anyway. So I waited, shifting occasionally or playing with my phone.

He rushed into the cafe suddenly, nearly tripping over a chair as he hurried to me, looking completely frantic. He threw himself down in the chair opposite me. “Fuck! I am so sorry, Frank, I-”

Gerard looked at me and trailed off, his eyes suddenly sad. “F-Frankie..”

I leaned across the table and took his hand quickly. “Gee, come back to my house. Please? I wanna talk in private. Properly.”

 ~

Gerard sat down on my couch, looking around nervously. “Sorry it's a little fancy,” I mumbled, taking a seat next to me. “I um. Yeah.”

He sniffed, staring down at his lap. I brushed my fingers over his cheek and he stiffened, jerking his head away. I leaned back quickly, biting my lip hard. Gerard glanced at me.

“S-sorry, I um...sorry..”

I shook my head slightly and sighed. “We don't know anything about each other anymore. I shouldn't have assumed. Are you single?”

Gerard buried his face in his hands. “Divorced. For the second time.”

I frowned and ran my hand over his thigh, unable to keep my hands off. I had always been a touchy person, and Gerard was everything I had ever wanted. “Whoever was stupid enough to let you go will be knocked off by natural selection before he's forty. Would you like a drink, Gee?”

He winced and shook his head slowly. “No. Thank you.”

“It's okay..Gee, hon. You can look at me,” I murmured, lifting his chin gently. “I'm still the same person. I know I have more money now and we’re adults, but I'm the same Frank. Really..”

Gerard pulled away from me. “But I'm not the same Gerard,” he muttered quietly. “You don't want me.” He stood up, turning his back to me and walking a few steps away.

“C’mon,” I sighed, patting the couch. “Sit down, Gee. Enough drama, I know you're still my Gee.”

“I'm not!” He snapped suddenly. “Stop calling me that!”

I blinked and bit my lip harshly just as I heard the key in the door.

“Frank?” Sasha called out quietly. “I didn't know you were home?”

I jumped up quickly, touching Gerard’s shoulder lightly. “Hold on a second, Gee..”

I jogged to the front door and smiled at the young woman.

“Can you help me get him in? He's cranky today.”

I chuckled and nodded slightly. “Of course. But cranky is for old men. I guess I'll have to hit him over the head with his walking stick, beat the cranky out.”

Sasha laughed quietly. “I doubt it would work.”

I nodded, walking to the van and unloading the wheelchair. Sasha opened one of the doors, and I hurried around, helping her get him out of the van and into the chair.

“There,” I grinned, kissing his forehead. “Better?”

Chris rolled his eyes, but smiled at me. “I thought you were in the office all day, Frankie.”

I shook my head quickly and fixed his hair gently before starting to wheel him up the path. “I bumped into someone I used to know, and I invited him for lunch, but he was late and upset and yeah..”

Chris chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Am I interrupting something?”

I smacked him on the head very gently. “Shut up, old man. Of course not.”

I half lifted Chris's chair over the tiny step in the doorframe, then kissed his cheek. “Home sweet home. Would you like to come meet my guest?”

I walked in front of the wheelchair, and I watched Chris's face as Gerard turned around.

“Holy fuck.”

Gerard's shock quickly turned into a huge grin and he rushed to Chris, hugging him tightly. “Chris! Oh my God! How are you?”

He laughed, rubbing Gerard’s back lightly. “I'm okay, hon. How are _you_? I didn't think I'd ever see you again.”

I left them to chat, quietly walking into the kitchen. I heard Sasha come in behind me and sighed.

“That's Gerard?” She asked softly, taking the cup of tea I'd made for her. “He doesn't seem...different.”

I shrugged and rubbed my eyes. “He's different on the inside, Sash. I mean, you can see how much Chris loves him.”

I handed her a mug of coffee as well. “Could you take that to him? It might put him in a better mood.”

She nodded and hurried out of the kitchen. I walked after her, holding two mugs as well. When I got to the living room, Chris was sitting on the couch quite happily, chatting to Gerard. I walked over and offered the coffee to Gerard, smiling as he took it. Chris glanced up at me, worry in his eyes.

“Y'know, we should go out for dinner sometime,” Gerard announced suddenly, smiling at Chris.

“Did you get that stuff you needed, Dad?”

Chris looked over at me before he could reply to Gerard, smiling softly. “Yeah, I did, thanks.”

“Um. Who was that nice lady?” Gerard asked me suddenly. Chris cut in before I could answer.

“That's Sasha, she takes care of me, takes me out in the day and that sort of thing. Frank does a lot of things for me, but he's not here 24/7.”

Gerard nodded, glancing at me. He looked worried and upset. “I should get going. I gotta get to work soon.”

I smiled, standing up. “Would you like me to drive you back?”

“Uh, no, I'll walk. Thanks, Frank. I'll be okay.”

 ~

I swung Chris's legs into the bed and pulled the blankets over him. “So you've been doing better?”

He nodded slightly as I sat down on the edge of his bed, taking his hand gently. “S’only been ten years and I can finally take a step.”

“Nine,” I corrected gently, squeezing his hand and smiling at him. “And you took four. In a row. That's awesome, Dad. Really. You'll be doing hurdles soon.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “Like I'd want to if I could. Gerard seems...different.”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair slowly. “He said he'd been married twice or something and he didn't seem to enjoy talking about it. He still seems like Gee..”

Chris nodded slightly. “Just be careful, Frank. Something about him made me uncomfortable today.”

I tilted my head slightly. “What do you mean?”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I don't know. There was something different in his eyes, something harder. I don't think he's had the best life since we moved away.”

I nodded slowly, my eyes unfocused. “Yeah, I get that impression too..” I took a deep breath and stood up. “Oh well. I think you need to get some sleep, yeah?”

Chris smiled up at me, brushing his fingers over my hip. “Thanks, Frankie. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I hummed, waving before slipping out of the room.

I got myself ready for bed and climbed in, curling up and closing my eyes. I was just beginning to drift off when my phone rang. I answered it quickly, mumbling ‘hello’ in a hoarse voice.

“Hi...is this Frank?” Gerard asked uncertainly.

“Yeah..what's going on, Gerard?” I murmured. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to apologize for today. I was late and then I left early and...yeah. I'm sorry it was awkward. I just want to say that I miss you a lot. And um...if you want to see me again, I'd really like that. A lot.”

I closed my eyes briefly and sighed. “Gerard...there's something...different about you, isn't there? Something happened.”

Gerard paused for a while, and I could hear him taking deep breaths. “Yes. Something happened. I got married twice, I didn't go to college like I wanted to, I-...look, it's not something I want to talk about with you, I'm sorry. Not yet. I wanna be sure you're still my Frankie.”

The words ‘my Frankie’ made my heart flutter and my throat close up. “I'll prove it to you. Meet me at that café at four tomorrow.”

“O-okay...um...what happened with Chris? Is he okay?”

I smiled to myself and ran a hand through my hair slowly. “Yeah, he's doing better, actually. When he woke up, they managed to find a spinal injury, I'm not sure how the stupid fucks missed it in the first place, but he was completely paralyzed from the waist down for a while. He's been doing physical therapy and it’s finally starting to pay off, he's actually been able to walk short distances, but it does tire him out. And he had some issues with motor function on his right for a while, but that's much better now. He can't write, but he can type and everything.”

“That's awesome,” Gerard hummed, and I imagined him playing with his hair. “I should probably let you sleep.”

“Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, Gerard.”

“Bye.”

He hung up and I sighed, flicking the light off and curling up again.


	20. Part Two - Two

**G**

_ The slap came out of nowhere, sending me to the ground as he laughed. “Stupid slut. Get up and suck my cock, you know you want to.” _

_ I heaved myself onto my knees and shook my head wearily. This time he didn't hit me with his hand, instead snapping the end of his leather belt over my cheek. I cried out and buried my face in my hands, but he roughly grabbed my arms, shoving himself inches away from my mouth. “Suck, you fucking cunt!” _

_ I shook my head again, gritting my teeth and keeping my lips firmly shut. He took a step back and this time the belt buckle caught me on the side of my head, pain exploding in my vision as I fell back, curling up. He knelt down, grabbing my chin and forcing my mouth open.  _

 

The bedsheets were drenched in sweat, my body trembling. I sighed and slipped out of bed, making my way to the bathroom shakily, almost falling against the doorway. “F-Fuck..”

I managed to take a shower, scrubbing at my body. As soon as I got out, I checked the clock and swore again. I had to meet Frank soon. I ran a hand through my damp hair nervously, wrapping a towel around myself before hurrying into my bedroom. I was just trying to choose an outfit when my phone rang. I rolled my eyes and picked it up, pulling out the black button up I usually wore to work. 

“Hey Mikes.”

“Hey, big brother! What’re you doing tonight?”

I sighed quietly and shook my head, tossing the shirt aside. “I'm going out with Frank Iero.”

“Shit...seriously? You must be kidding, right?”

“Nope. He came into the bar the other night and he recognized me like immediately.”

“Fuck, Gee. What’re you gonna wear? Are you interested in him? Are you gonna fuck him?”

I blinked quickly. “Slow down, Mikey. I don't really know yet. I don't know if he's the same person or not.”

“I doubt he'd change much, Gee. He's a good guy.”

“Well, yeah, but my judgement has been a little off for the past few years,” I snapped, and Mikey sighed. 

“Wear that black shirt with the red embroidery. I like that one. And those bootcut slacks. He likes you a little feminine.”

“He's the only one,” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. “What if-”

“No, none of that. It's Frank and he's taking you out. He cared for you so much, Gerard. He's not gonna throw it all away.”

“But what if he doesn't like me anymore?”

“Then it's his loss,” Mikey said softly. “Seriously. And I think he's smarter than that, Gee. Give it a chance, don't run away from it before it's even started.”

“Yes sir,” I grumbled. 

“And remember he won't hurt you. And if he does try, you always have a knee, and you can always call me.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Yes, okay. I gotta go get ready, Mikes.”

“Alright. Pete sends his love, and I'm sure he'll call you later to get all the details.”

“I'm sure,” I mumbled. “Love you, Mikes.”

“Love you too, Gee. Have fun.”

~ 

I smoothed my shirt down as I got out of my car, nervous as all hell. I could see Frank from where I was, his back against the wall. There was a cigarette dangling from his thin lips, and he was texting someone on his phone. He looked smart, much smarter than I did, complete with a suit jacket and tie over slacks. 

“Fuck,” I muttered, walking up with my hands shoved in my pockets. Frank glanced up and his eyes widened. 

“Damn. You look stunning.” He slipped his phone away and stubbed the cigarette out, grinning at me. “Sorry for my outfit, I came straight from work, and I had some important meetings today.”

I shrugged, taking a deep breath. “It's okay, but yeah. I don't own a suit,” I said, adding a nervous chuckle. 

Frank just smiled at me. “You look perfect as you are, Gee. I was planning on taking you out for dinner, is that alright?”

I nodded slightly, but felt a little sick. “Yeah. I didn't...I didn't bring any money, I-”

“No, no, my treat,” Frank soothed, kicking off from the wall and rubbing my shoulder. “Come on. I'll drive you. I know it might be a little early for dinner, but I prefer to eat early. Is that okay?”

I closed my eyes for a couple seconds. Too many questions. “Y-yeah, it's fine, Frank. Really. Whatever you want.”

He hesitated, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Okay. It's Italian, you like Italian, right?”

I glanced at him and realized suddenly that he was nervous. His hands were shaking slightly, and I figured that's why he kept asking me if everything was okay. 

“Frank, there's no need to be nervous,” I said quietly. “You don't need to impress me or anything.”

He sighed and opened his car door for me. “Gerard, I'm nervous because in the ten years since I last saw you, I haven't found one person whom I could love the way I loved you. I don't want to let you slip through my fingers again.”

The way he said it was sweet, but firm. I felt rocks settle in my stomach and I wanted to turn and run. Instead, I got into the car, trying not to notice how much nicer it was than mine. Frank got in behind the wheel and started the car, smiling at me. “How have you been? I know it's been a long time, but-”

“I haven't been great, Frank,” I interrupted quickly. “But I don't really want to talk about it.” 

He flashed me a worried look and I ignored it. 

“Okay. What do you want to talk about, then?”

I didn't answer, instead turning the radio on and finding a rock station before cranking the volume. Frank sighed, but didn't look annoyed or upset. Instead, he offered me his hand. I shook my head and he put it back on the steering wheel, not even an ounce of contempt or anger in his expression. 

 

After about half an hour of silence, Frank turned the music down and glanced at me. “Gerard, I have to be honest with you, love. Shortly after my nineteenth birthday, I started having...problems. Mood swings and seeing and hearing things. Chris took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with very mild schizophrenia. I know that's a really scary word, but it just boils down to me getting a little irritable and erratic when I don't take my meds. I've never come close to harming myself or anyone else, and I've never really heard voices. I just hear weird sounds and sometimes see people or things get kind of distorted. It's a bit like looking at the world through a kaleidoscope, but without the colors. But I take my meds every day and I'm still working with a psychologist twice a month. I wanted to be honest with you...does it bother you?”

Frank was shifting in his seat, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white. 

I shrugged. “I guess not.”

I felt like crying now. Frank wasn't the same. I'd been holding out hope that maybe he'd prove to me that he was the same loving, sweet, and kind guy, and maybe I could learn to trust someone again.

But he was different, and I didn't know how to deal with that. 

The car stopped suddenly and Frank smiled at me nervously. “Ready?”

I nodded slightly and got out of the car, chewing on my lip harshly. He offered me his arm, but I didn't take it, following him into the restaurant quickly. He said something about having a reservation and we were led to one of the tables. 

I sat down, glancing around. There were bottles of wine everywhere, and all the tables and chairs looked modern, but expensive. The place reeked of great food and oozed money. I ducked my head slightly. 

“Frank, this is too much..”

He smiled at me, taking his jacket off and laying it on the seat next to him as he sat down across from me. “Don't be silly. I'm making up for ten years of lost time here.”

I blushed and glanced at the menu, trying to find the least expensive dish. 

Frank hummed softly as the waitress walked over, and he ordered us some wine as well as water. I looked up, worried. “I um, you didn't have to..”

“Gerard, honey, just enjoy it,” Frank soothed, smiling at me. “I'm gonna spend money on you regardless, so you might as well try to have fun.”

I sighed and rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand. “Alright, okay. Thanks, Frank.”

“No problem.”

I glanced up as the waitress brought over the wine, pouring me a glass carefully. As soon as she was gone, I drank half of the glass in one go, barely even tasting it. 

Frank watched me, his eyes worried and a little sad. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt and forced a smile. He sat back slightly. 

“You're a good bartender, Gee. But I thought you wanted to be a photographer?”

My stomach turned as he said the nickname so casually. “That didn't work out.”

“Why not?”

“I got married and didn't go to university,” I said quietly, taking another long sip of my wine. Frank frowned. 

“That's a shame. I liked your photos. Do you like working at that club?”

I blinked and shrugged. “It's better than working in a gay club.”

Frank seemed taken aback. “Why do you think so?”

“Because I don't get hit on every five seconds.”

He smiled softly. “Well, maybe you shouldn't be so stunning.”

“Maybe you should go and fuck yourself,” I hissed, clenching my jaw. “It makes me uncomfortable and I tell them to stop and they don't! They say the same fucking thing you just did to me all the time.”

Frank flinched and guilt washed over me again. 

“Gerard, I'm sorry,” he said quickly, before I could babble out an apology. “I didn't think before I opened my mouth. I meant it as a compliment and it came out wrong. Forgive me?”

I stared at him for a couple seconds. “Frank, I-”

He leaned over the table and took my hand gently, holding it loosely. “I care about you, Gerard. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

This was becoming too much for me. I pulled my hand away, putting it in my lap instead. “I-It's okay, Frank. I'm okay. I didn't mean to snap.”

“That's fine, I deserved it,” he smiled, then glanced up as the waitress came back. He ordered some kind of fancy sounding pasta and I asked for the basic salad. Frank sighed, but didn't say anything, thanking the waitress with a smile. 

He turned back to me, his green eyes soft. “You do look lovely tonight, Gerard. That haircut suits you wonderfully, and I love the shirt.”

I blushed, biting my lip again. Frank was being innocent, completely so, without any kind of suggestive tone to his voice. He thought I looked nice and he was telling me so, rather than just trying to get me into bed. It made me feel warm and safe for a split second. 

I downed the rest of my wine quickly. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

Frank tilted his head slightly, clearly trying to work me out. “What would you like to do after this? I was thinking maybe you could come watch a movie at my place?”

I swallowed hard and shook my head just slightly, struggling to force the words out. “No, I um...I have to get to bed early, it's my only night off..”

Frank blinked and I could tell he was disappointed, but instead of swearing at me or slapping me, he just flashed a small smile. 

“Okay. Perhaps another time? Chris would love to see you again.” 

I sighed and nodded, still biting my lip. “Yeah...that would be nice.”

Frank sucked at his lip lightly. 

“Gerard, I really wanted to take you out for a nice romantic dinner this evening and maybe cuddle you on the sofa for a while, but you don't really seem very open to romance. Am I wrong to be trying to...do this? Are you not really wanting to rekindle this?”

I blinked, surprised by his bluntness. “Um. Yes, I am. I miss you, Frank. I do. But I need to be sure that you're...my Frank. I've been burned and I don't feel like getting burned again.”

Frank smiled softly and nodded. “Okay, Gerard. I totally understand. I'll take it down a notch for now.”

I bit my lip again, folding my hands under the table. I didn't know how to react to this, how accommodating Frank was. I wasn't used to it anymore. 

The waitress interrupted my thoughts, setting our food down and pouring me another glass of wine. 

 ~

By the time we'd finished the main course, I’d polished off a total of three glasses of delicious wine and learned a lot more about Frank's business. He owned a small chain of gay clubs, three to be exact, and was looking to expand to four. Apparently they were wildly popular and he'd been looking for a new location when he'd stumbled across me in the club I worked in. 

I looked at the dessert menu and shook my head slightly. “I'll just have a coffee..”

Frank smiled. “Nonsense. Share the cheesecake with me, it's really good but I can't eat all of it on my own..”

I smiled faintly and nodded. “Okay, Frank.”

He hesitated, staring at me briefly before ordering. 

As soon as the waitress was gone, he leaned on the table, watching me. “You're still nervous, Gerard. Why? Why are you so nervous?”

I shrugged, looking away. “I don't know, Frank.”

“I wish you weren't so nervous,” he said in a soft, kind voice. “I always imagined I'd find you again and I always wanted to woo you and make you feel like the most important person on Earth. I still want to, but it's hard when I feel like you're keeping something from me.”

I sighed and buried my face in my hands for a few seconds. “Frank, I'm sorry,” I murmured as I lifted my head to look at him. “I'm just not ready.”

He nodded and smiled at me. “I know, honey. I'll have to settle for making you feel safe first.”

I felt my throat close up and I looked down at my lap. I didn't deserve him, he was too good for me. Much too good. 

As soon as the dessert arrived, Frank picked up his fork. I smiled to myself, biting my lip; he'd always had a sweet tooth. 

“Have some, Gerard, it's really nice..”

I sighed and picked up my fork, taking a tiny bite from the end. I blinked as I tasted it, feeling it melt on my tongue. “Oh fuck, that is good.”

Frank grinned and picked up a larger portion with his fork, leaning over slightly and holding the fork out. I blushed, staring into his soft, innocent green eyes. This wasn't sexual or meant to tease me. He was being genuinely romantic and sweet. 

I took the bite, letting him feed me. “Thanks, Frankie,” I murmured after finishing the mouthful.

He smiled happily and nodded slightly. “You're welcome, Gee. You deserve to be spoiled.”

I felt the blush darken and smiled shyly. “I'm not sure about that, but I don't think I'll object too much.”

Frank laughed, leaning back in his chair, and I swallowed hard. He was exactly the same when he laughed, maybe with a little more depth to his voice, but everything else was exactly as I remembered it from ten years ago. 

 ~

Frank parked the car in the café parking lot, smiling at me. “I had a great evening, Gerard. Really great. Can we maybe..?”

“Yes! Please,” I said quickly, then blushed again. He chuckled and put a hand on my cheek, leaning over slightly. “I'm glad you loosened up a little, Gerard. I'm sorry it was so hard for you.”

He was watching me with a sincere, caring expression, his other hand coming around and resting on my thigh without any sexual overtone. 

“Thank you, Frankie,” I murmured. He leaned in just a little further and I could feel his breath on my lips. 

I didn't want this, not yet. I wanted to relish the moment, the moment where I felt safe in Frank's car, his hands on me feeling right and perfect. But I was too scared to push him away. 

His lips connected with mine and I closed my eyes tightly, not kissing back at all. Frank pulled away quickly, noticing how stiff I was. “Gerard? Oh fuck...I did something wrong, didn't I?”

I shook my head, feeling like I was about to burst into tears. “You're fine, Frankie, it's okay. I promise.” I forced my most convincing smile, knowing I was still trapped in his car. If he tried to strike me, I'd have nowhere to go. 

So I pulled him into another kiss, blinking away tears as his fingers tangled in my hair, the hand on my thigh sliding round to caress the skin just below my crotch. “Gee..” Frank murmured against my lips, gently tugging on my hair. I quickly broke away, smiling at him. “I have to go, Frankie. I'll see you soon. Call me..”

I got out of the car and forced myself to walk calmly towards my own, ignoring the tears running down my cheeks. 

 ~

I sat in the bath, shaking as I scrubbed at the inside of my left thigh. “F-Fuck..”

My phone rang and I grabbed it, nearly dropping it in the water. 

“Hey!” Pete half shouted from the other end of the line. “How was your date with Mr. Dreamy?”

I burst into tears and Pete swore quietly. 

“Shit, I'm sorry, Gee. I'll pass you to Mikey, okay?”

“Y-yeah..”

I sniffed as I heard talking in the background. 

“Hey Gee,” Mikey murmured, his voice soft and soothing. “What happened, beautiful? Why are you crying?”

I tried to wipe my cheeks, trembling. “I r-ruined it! We h-had a really nice dinner and I fucked it up!”

“How, sweetie? What did you do?” Mikey murmured, sounding worried. 

“I'm s-sorry..” I sniffed, trembling slightly. “I l-let him kiss me..”

“Oh Gee..” He sighed quietly. “That's not..that's not your fault.”

“I w-wanted to push him away, but we were in h-his car and I was s-scared he might h-hit me..”

Mikey took a deep breath, but I cut in before he could say anything. 

“He noticed and I didn't want him to g-get angry that I didn't want it, so I kissed him and he tried to touch my thigh and so I told him I had to go..”

“Geebear, it's not your fault,” Mikey said slowly and firmly. “You're just doing what you think you have to to keep safe. But hon, you  _ need  _ to tell Frank about your husbands. He’ll understand..”

“What if he doesn't want me..? He said he wanted to make me feel like the m-most important person on Earth...what if he doesn't want to anymore?”

Mikey took another deep breath. “Gee, he's still in love with you. That's why he wants to make you feel so good. That's why he took you to a fancy restaurant. And you remember what happened when you were raped and he was in love with you?”

I sniffed and didn't reply, hating him for bringing it up. 

“Gee, he sat with you all night, every night, and he bathed you everyday, even though your bruises brought up memories so bad he threw up. Frank is a dedicated person, and people don't change that much. He's still in love with you, and all he's gonna do when he finds out about your marriages is cry and wish you'd told him sooner and cuddle the shit out of you. I'm sure of it. I can talk to him for you if it would help.”

“N-no! I can't...I can't let him hear it from someone else..”

“Okay, Gee. But I think it should be soon.”

“I'm gonna talk to Chris,” I mumbled quietly. “He's still really nice to me, I think he’ll help me.” 

“Alright. Do you want me to come over?”

“I'm o-okay. I'm just gonna get some sleep.”

 

_ I was back in Frank's car, his lips brushing mine. I pushed his chest gently, looking down as a blush rose to my cheeks. “Frankie..I-” _

_ “Cunt,” he snapped and I looked up into the face of my second husband. I tried to scramble away, tried to unbuckle my seatbelt, but it wouldn't let go of me, instead tightening around my body as he grabbed my crotch.  _

_ “Disgusting. You're fucking disgusting and no one will ever love you, cunt. You should just kill yourself. End it all.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you guys are excited about this, let me know what you think!   
> :)


	21. Part Two - Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut in this chapter and tbh just a whole lot more in this part in general.

**G**

Chris was already sipping his coffee when I got to the little café, the one only a few blocks from my apartment. I pulled out a chair and sat down, smiling at him nervously. He smiled back, tucking his hair behind his ears. 

“Hey. You okay, Gerard?”

I nodded, glancing around. “Yeah, how are you doing?”

“I feel like an old man,” he chuckled, leaning back in his wheelchair. “But I'm used to it. You said you wanted to talk about Frank..?”

I sighed, rubbing the side of my face. “Did he tell you we kind of went on a date?”

Chris nodded slowly. “He told me it didn't go very well. He told me he fucked the whole thing up by kissing you at the end.”

I swallowed hard, starting to feel like I was choking. Frank wasn't easy to fool.

“Y-yeah, that was kind of my fault,” I mumbled, hanging my head. “Look, there's some stuff I wanted to talk to you about..”

Chris smiled at me, leaning forward and rubbing my shoulder gently. “Gerard, I understand if you want to talk confidentially, okay? I won't tell Frank any of this conversation if you don't want me to.”

I let out a breath, smiling slightly in relief as I looked up into Chris's sharp golden eyes. 

“Thanks..”

I paused for a few seconds, taking a couple deep breaths. “I was um. I was married twice, and divorced twice. I married my first husband when I was nineteen. I thought I loved him and I thought he loved me, but he just liked...he liked that I was different. He liked bragging about me to his friends. That he'd fucked the freak..”

I had to stop for a second, looking away sharply. Chris moved his chair closer to mine, rubbing the spot in between my shoulderblades. I swallowed and went on, sniffling occasionally. 

“I married him after a few months of us dating. He proposed to me for a fucking joke...and I fell for it..he went through the whole thing, he married me and kissed me and told me he loved me for a whole year. And then he told me we were getting a divorce. I guess the joke stopped being funny.”

Chris sighed, gently stroking my hair. “Oh Gee, I'm sorry..”

I sniffed, still staring at the table. “Um. There was this guy who was kind of in his friend group and he like...he comforted me. Cause my first husband...he told me we were getting divorced and he thought I was a freak and all this stuff at a party, to humiliate me. And this guy came and comforted me and took me to his place and gave me way too much alcohol. I ended up marrying him because I was drunk half the time and lonely and hated myself. And as soon as we got married, he started beating me. He wouldn't let me touch alcohol because he knew it was my coping mechanism. He degraded me and told me I was disgusting and he forced me to...to get surgery. I think...I think he was trying to get me to kill myself. Cause I started self harming after my first divorce...he got some kind of pleasure out of seeing me cut myself and he wanted me to do it, to ‘end it all.’ He told me to every day. And when he realized I wasn't gonna...he divorced me. Told me I was a useless piece of shit and threw me out. I almost did it too. But Mikey, somehow he heard about it and came and picked me up off the sidewalk. See, my second husband wouldn't let me talk to him, and I thought he hated me.” 

I smiled sadly, picking at my sleeve. “Mikey's the reason I'm still alive.” 

Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. “Gerard, you need to tell Frank, please. If he knew, God, if he knew, he'd go and find that guy and kill him, for a start..”

I chuckled through the tears now free to run down my cheeks. 

“It's just...trusting him now,” I said quietly, looking at Chris worriedly. “I'm scared to trust him, and when he kissed me, I was scared that if I pushed him away, he'd hit me..”

Chris sighed and cupped my cheeks in his hands. “Look at me, Gerard. Hon, Frank would never ever hit you. He loves you. He was so excited about finding you again, he was like a little puppy.”

I sniffed and gently pulled away. “I know he wouldn't hurt me, but it's hard...it's hard to remember that sometimes..”

Chris nodded sadly, brushing my hair out of my face. “I know. But Frank understands that, Gerard. Remember he's been through similar stuff. He had to learn to trust me as a parental figure after every other parental figure he'd had had abused him. Explain to him..”

I shook my head slightly, looking away. “I don't want to yet, Chris. Not yet.”

Chris nodded and squeezed my shoulder gently. “Do you want me to tell him anything?”

I shrugged, glancing at the older man. He'd never given me bad advice. 

“Do you think you should?”

He leaned back slightly, thinking. “I don't think I should tell him everything. That's down to you, Gerard. But I think maybe me saying that you've been abused badly and hurt could help. He'd know why you were stiff, then, and he'd know to comfort you and be gentle with you.”

I smiled slightly. “Do that, then. I trust you, Chris.”

He blinked. “How can you trust me and not him?”

“Because you're in a wheelchair,” I giggled, then shook my head. “Because it's not the same. I'm more vulnerable with Frank than with you.” 

Chris nodded, smiling at me sadly. “Makes sense.” 

I sniffed, wiping my cheeks. “Thank you, Chris. For being here and stuff..”

He rubbed my back again lightly. “It's alright, Gerard. I told you ages ago that I'd always be here to talk and I meant it. Um...do you still drink?”

I blinked and sighed, looking down. “I’m trying to give up. I've been to AA and all that, but I still drink when I'm really stressed. I'm still going to AA and Mikey's helping me. I've been okay lately, for the most part.”

He smiled at me softly. “Good. Did talking about things today help a little?”

I shrugged, leaning back in my chair and taking a deep breath. “I guess. It brought up bad memories, but it also felt good getting it off my chest, in a way.”

Chris ran his fingers through his hair slowly. “Y’know Frank graduated, right? Thanks to you. If he hadn't have gotten his grade up in algebra, he would have had to do another year.”

I blushed slightly and shook my head. “He didn't tell me.”

“He was so proud of himself,” Chris chuckled, but his eyes were sad. “He told me about it for ages. And he put his cap next to my bed.”

I frowned slightly. “You missed it?”

“Yeah, I did. I could hear him, sometimes. Not every day, not all the time, but I did know he was there. He said to me ‘Dad, I can't believe I've done it. When you wake up you're gonna be so proud of me.’ And I just wanted so badly to say I was proud of him then.”

I leaned my head on Chris's shoulder lightly. “How long were you out?”

“Eleven months.”

“Holy fuck.”

“Yep.”

I sat up slightly, watching him. “That must’ve been torture.”

He sighed and nodded slightly. “Yes...it was. But that's all behind me now. I'm hoping to get a job soon..”

An alarm went off on my watch and I rolled my eyes as Chris grinned at me. 

“I'm really sorry, Chris, I have to go. I promised I'd meet Mikey before I went to work. We should talk again soon..”

He nodded, rubbing my arm gently. “Don't worry about Frank, okay? Just let it happen.”

I smiled and kissed his forehead as I got up. “See you soon, old man.”

 ~~~

I shifted uncomfortably as I heard the phone ringing on the other end of the line. By the third ring, I was practically squirming. Frank finally picked up, laughing softly. 

“Sorry, Gerard, I was in a meeting. What's up?”

I took a deep breath. “Do you remember Pete and Mikey?”

He hummed softly. “Yeah, of course. Why?”

“Well um..” I giggled quietly. “They got married a couple years ago. And um, they heard about my like...date with you and they wanted to go out, all four of us.”

“Oh. Really?”

Frank sounded apprehensive and I swallowed hard. 

“Um, you don't have to, Frank, I-”

“No, Gee. It sounds like fun,” he interrupted gently. “But Chris...he told me that you haven't had...that you've been hurt, and I was hoping that we could have some time to talk about it..”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Frank, I don't really want to talk about it yet.”

He took a sharp breath in and I flinched, ready for him to start shouting. 

“Okay, Gerard. Maybe another time…”

My shoulders dropped and I felt guilty again. 

“How much did he say?”

“He said you'd been badly abused and forced to do a lot of stuff you didn't want to. That's all he told me, honey.”

I took a deep breath. “It was uh...both husbands,” I said quietly. “That's why I've been divorced twice. And why I have trouble trusting you...a-and saying no to you.”

Frank was silent for a while. “Okay. Okay, honey. Um. I'm sorry, I'm just so angry..” He trailed off and sighed. “Not at you, that's not what I meant. Um. I know it's kinda late, but could I come over for a while? I don't like the thought of you being upset on your own..”

~ 

I opened the door, checking that my sleeves were pulled down to my hands. “Hi, Frank..”

He smiled and pulled me into a brief hug. “Hey, Gee. Can I call you that?”

He leaned back, watching my face worriedly. I nodded quickly. 

“Yeah, sure. Not like...all the time.”

He smiled and brushed his fingers over my cheek. “Would you like a kiss hello?”

I felt my throat close up slightly and took a slow breath. “Where?”

“Cheek, of course,” Frank smiled, dropping his hand to his side. “You can say no.”

I managed a small smile in return and nodded slightly. Frank grinned and leaned in, pressing his lips to my cheek ever so softly before pulling away quickly.

I blushed as I stepped aside to let him in. “Sorry my apartment’s tiny,” I said quietly, and he shrugged.

“I don't mind.” Before he stepped past me, he handed me a pint of ice cream, winking at me. “Here.”

I giggled nervously and followed him inside, getting two spoons from the drawer. Frank crouched down quickly and took his shoes off, then sat down on the couch next to me, flashing me a smile. He had definitely gotten more...handsome. Maybe it was just the way his face had developed, but he looked a bit less ragged and a bit more groomed. Maybe it was the money. 

His black hair was as floppy as ever, but shinier. His eyes were a little brighter, and warmer, and his jaw more defined. 

I suddenly realised I was staring and blushed, quickly taking the top off the ice cream. Frank hummed softly, lifting my chin with one finger. 

“I really want to kiss you again, Gerard.”

I bit my lip and started to panic just a little. “Uh..I..”

“I won't if you don't want me to,” Frank soothed gently, smiling that goddamn smile at me. That smile with just a hint of smirk. He wanted me, I could see it in his eyes. And God, did I want him. 

I nodded just slightly and he leaned over, kissing me softly, his touch loving as he cradled my cheek in his hand. His spare hand ran up into my hair slowly. 

“I love you,” he murmured against my lips, then pushed the ice cream aside and very slowly pushed me down on the sofa, climbing over me and rolling his hips into mine. I gasped, arching my back and forgetting all about the fear. 

Frank growled softly and kissed me sloppily, his fingers tangled in my hair, before running his tongue up from my collarbone to the back of my jaw, just below my ear. He nipped my skin lightly and I moaned ever so softly, purring as he unbuttoned my shirt quickly, pulling it away from my chest and running his hands all over my pale skin as he kissed me again, deep and slow this time. I bucked my hips against his and he blinked. 

“Gerard..?”

My eyes widened and I bit my lip. “Fuck...Frankie, I've um. I've had surgery, bottom surgery..”

He frowned deeply, stroking my cheeks as he looked down at me. “Why, baby?”

I gulped, looking away quickly. “My s-second husband made me..”

Fury suddenly twisted Frank's face and I whimpered, turning my head away quickly and screwing my eyes shut. 

“Hey, no..” Frank said quickly, his voice shaky but kind. “Shh, Gee. I'm not angry with you, why would I be?”

He sat back, lifting me up and into his lap. I melted against his chest, burying my face in his neck as I shivered. “F-Frankie..”

“I know, baby, I'm here,” he soothed, running his fingers through my hair slowly. “Shh. I could never be angry with you, beautiful. Never. And even if I was able to get angry, I would never ever hit you. I promise.”

I sniffed, hugging him tightly and nuzzling his jaw. “I'm s-sorry..”

“Oh honey, you don't need to apologize, I promise. You did nothing wrong. Nothing.”

I dug my nails into his back, trying to hold back tears, but he slowly laid back on the sofa, guiding me to slide down between him and the back of the couch. “Shh, Gee. It's alright..”

I pressed myself as close to him as I could get and closed my eyes tightly. 

 ~

I woke up as hot water wrapped around my legs and hips. Frank hummed to me softly as I opened my eyes, starting to panic. “Shh, you passed out on the sofa, honey. It's alright.”

I sank back, watching the bubbles crawl up my chest, then sat up again quickly. 

“Yes, I undressed you,” Frank said softly. “I'm sorry, but I didn't take your boxers off until you were already covered by the water.”

I relaxed slightly, but saw him looking at my arms. I quickly hid them in the water and he sighed. “You did those yourself, didn't you?”

I nodded slightly, looking down at my forearms. 

“Some of them are recent.”

I nodded again and Frank leaned over, stroking my hair gently. I flinched, but he just sighed. “Shh, honey. I'm not angry or upset with you. Just worried about you.”

I looked away sharply and he sighed, turning the tap off and kneeling down next to the bath. “If you don't wanna talk, that's okay. I'm just gonna sit here for a while.”

“Frank?”

“Mhm?”

I met his gaze briefly, his eyes sad. 

“Do you still find me attractive?”

He tilted his head. “Yes. Why wouldn't I? Because of your scars? Your genitals?”

I shrugged and glared at the water. 

“Gee, honey, I have scars. Plenty of them. You've seen them. And I'm gay, Gerard, at the end of the day. I'm not gonna be bothered by a dick.”

He laughed softly and I managed a smile, looking up at him. “Really?”

“Of course. Besides, I found you sexy because of who you were more than anything. I mean, you have an amazing body and you're drop dead gorgeous, but those were just bonuses, really.”

I sank down into the water, resting my head on the edge of the bath. 

“Gee?”

I glanced up at him and he sighed, stroking my hair slowly. “You don't have to answer, but uh...how did the surgery go?”

I took a deep breath, not looking at him. “They managed to do a transplant and they basically brought my undescended testis down, so yeah. It all works like normal. It's a miracle,” I mumbled, making sure to slather the last part with sarcasm.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked,” Frank muttered, kissing the top of my head. 

I shrugged. “I've gotten over it for the most part. It's not like I can change anything.” 

Frank hummed softly, shifting closer and playing with my hair gently. “You'll always be my unique, beautiful, handsome, stunning, intersex Gerard. No matter what.”

 ~

I walked into my bedroom, a towel wrapped around my waist. Frank was curled up on my bed, flicking through one of my albums. “These are really good,” he said without looking up. I shrugged and grabbed a pair of panties from my drawer, slipping them on. “I guess.”

He glanced up and his eyes widened. “Holy..”

I blushed and watched as he slowly put the album away. 

“Jesus. I didn't think you could get any hotter without melting, but I stand corrected.”

I blushed and he stood up, walking over to me. I took a step back without thinking and he stopped quickly, the hunger in his eyes replaced with gentle concern. “Sorry, Gee. You wanna come cuddle?”

I shook my head, taking a deep breath. “Fuck me.”

Frank was the one to take a step back this time. “Gee, honey, not if-”

“I want to. I was thinking in the bath...if I can trust you to carry me to the bath without trying to take advantage of me...I can trust you to have sex with me. Just...I have to set some boundaries..”

Frank nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed, patting the mattress next to him. I walked over and sat down, taking a deep breath. “No hands anywhere near my throat. You have to use a condom. If your cock comes near my mouth, I will put hot sauce in your underwear. I don't mind you being rough, but no scratching. And missionary only, for now..”

Frank smiled softly and kissed my cheek. “I can manage those rules.” I leaned around him and pulled a bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer, handing them to him. “Here.”

I swung myself into his lap, feeling his semi against my junk. I giggled softly and Frank ran his hands up my bare sides. 

“Just the thought of having you again is making me hard,” he murmured, kissing my neck softly as I rolled my hips once, then lifted his t shirt off. “Fucking hell..”

The sight of his tattoos was enough to make my cock twitch as I raked my eyes down Frank's chest. “I fucking love tattoos..”

Frank grinned, running his hand down between us and starting to palm at my growing bulge slowly. “Fuck yes, Gerard. I  _ love _ the new you..”

I giggled shyly, surprised that I didn't care. In this moment, with Frank Iero’s hand on my junk, I didn't care what was down there. I just cared that he liked it and he wanted it.

He suddenly threw me down on the bed and I squealed loudly, my eyes wide. “Shh, honey..” Frank leaned over me, kissing me softly. “Sorry, a little too rough..”

I nodded breathlessly and he smiled, unbuckling his belt. I turned my head away sharply, trying to calm my breathing as he kicked his jeans and boxers away. “Ah...I'm so fucking lucky.”

I glanced at him, grinning when I saw his hand wrapped tightly around his cock. “Mm. Come here and fuck me if you're so excited.”

Frank smirked and climbed onto the bed, crawling up my body slowly, his shoulders moving like a cat’s while stalking prey. “You gonna beg?”

His hips rolled down suddenly and I gasped as he rubbed against me. “Oh shit! No, I'm not gonna fucking beg!”

Frank laughed and kissed me softly before sliding back down my body. I saw him crouch down, crying out as he lifted my hips and ripped my panties away before plunging in, fucking me with his tongue. I shuddered, my cock leaking as he reached a finger into me, rubbing my spot lightly. 

“Frank, fuck me now!” I demanded, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling lightly. He grinned, kissing my entrance softly before grabbing the lube and condom. I heard the packet tear and he was leaning over me again, kissing me softly. I could taste myself on his lips and it was driving me wild as I grabbed at him. 

“Shh honey. Patience,” Frank smirked, then gripped my hips and slammed into me. I screamed, arching my back off the bed as he started to pound me, holding my hips tightly and grunting quietly with each hard and heavy thrust. “Fuck!” I squealed as he hit my prostate. He chuckled and put a hand on my stomach, easily thrusting up into my spot again and again. I started to grab at his wrist, trying to warn him, but not having enough breath as I jerked, my cum decorating my stomach and hips. Frank grinned and pulled out, jerking himself off quickly and cumming all over my hips, my cum mixing with his. 

“Shit, baby..” He purred, smiling down at me as I panted. Lust filled, confident, dirty Frank had been replaced with his usual gentle self as he wiped me clean gently, then laid down next to me, pulling me into his arms. The last thought I had before falling asleep was simply:  _ why wasn't I scared?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this one!  
> I know the outcome of Gerard's surgery may be unrealistic but as far as I know, no-one's tried it so yeah. Who knows?


	22. Part Two - Four

**G**

Frank was cooking breakfast when I walked downstairs. “Hiya.”

I blinked and smiled at him softly. “Hey.”

He ran a hand through his hair, a little nervous. “I'm making pancakes, is that okay?”

I sighed quietly. I didn't know how I felt about this, whether I'd have been more comfortable if he'd been gone when I woke up. 

I nodded anyway and sat down at the kitchen table. Frank glanced at me. 

“Gee? Can I ask you a question?”

“Mhm.”

“How come you asked me to have sex with you last night and you were fine about it all and yet, when you come downstairs and find me making you breakfast, you seem conflicted?”

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose lightly. “I don't know, Frank. I really don't. I'm not...I'm not unhappy you're-”

“I know. That wasn't meant as a guilt trip,” Frank said quietly. “Sorry. I'm just trying to understand so I can help.” 

I bit my lip lightly. “I think it's because I asked you to. I felt like I was in control. You did things I didn't ask you to, but you weren't doing them because you were trying to hurt me. It was the opposite.”

“I promise I haven't poisoned the pancakes,” Frank smiled, and I closed my eyes for a couple seconds. 

“I think it's just gonna take some time, Frank.”

He walked over to me and leaned down, ignoring me flinch. “Okay.” He kissed my forehead gently. “And we don't have to label this at all, if that helps. Not until you want to.” 

I sighed softly and shook my head. “I want to trust you and I want to like...I want to be normal around you again, but it's hard..”

Frank straightened up and walked back to the stove, tipping the pancakes onto a plate. “What do you want on them, Gee?”

I blushed and shrugged. “Whatever you're having.”

“Maple syrup, then?”

I nodded slightly. “I'm not really used to being waited on.”

Frank chuckled and set the plate and the syrup bottle down in front of me, then handed me a fork. “Here. Just for you.” 

I bit my lip, waiting until Frank had sat down next to me, his own plate in front of him. “Thank you, Frank.”

He smiled at me. “This is surreal..”

I frowned slightly, sitting back a bit. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I thought I'd never see you again, and here I am, making you pancakes. It's surreal in a good way..”

I let myself smile, nodding slightly. “It is..”

Frank bumped my shoulder with his lightly. “Have some, Gee..”

I took a small bite of the pancakes and grinned. “Mm. Really good..”

Frank smiled and kissed my cheek. “Good.”

 ~

I called Mikey later that afternoon. 

“Hey, big brother.” 

“Hi, Mikey,” I chuckled softly. “What's up?”

“Not much. Just finishing up at work. You okay?”

“Um, better than okay,” I giggled. “Frank came over last night and he stayed over.”

“Seriously? How was it?”

I hummed happily. “We had sex once and I kind of passed out and then he made me breakfast. He went to work an hour ago.”

“Tmi, Gerard,” Mikey groaned quietly, but I could tell he didn't mind. “Save it for Pete. He likes that stuff.”

“Yeah, cause he's totally in love with me,” I teased. “I just wanted to check you guys were still on for dinner?”

“Of course, Gee. It's in a couple hours, right?”

“Yep.”

There was a short pause. “How are you feeling with Frank, then?”

I sighed quietly. “I think it's gonna take some time for me to be comfortable completely. I still flinch sometimes and that, but he's still...he's still Frank. He's different, but not very different.”

“I'm happy for you, Gee. You deserve this..”

“Thanks, Mikey, but I need a shower, so I should probably go..”

“Alright. I'll see you tonight, Pete’s super excited.” 

“He's always excited. See ya.”

I hung up, glancing over my wardrobe. Instead of getting in the shower, I grabbed my keys and hurried down the stairs to my car. 

~ 

I opened the door to Frank and he grinned. “Holy-”

I blushed, biting my lip lightly. “Is it okay?”

Frank stepped forward, running his hands over my hips. His fingers stroked over the black fabric slowly. 

“It's beautiful. You're beautiful.”

I sniffed, looking down at the dress. It was tight, clinging to my curves, and was only short-sleeved, but I had to admit it fit perfectly, and looked great with the pale pink tights and the pink and black heels I'd picked out. Around my neck was the necklace Frank had given me, the little bird charm still attached. 

“I had to go and buy it like ten minutes ago,” I giggled. “Can you come in a second? I gotta do my makeup.”

Frank nodded, following me inside. “Sure. Why'd you have to go buy an outfit? You used to have hundreds.”

I glanced back at him, swallowing. “I had to throw all my dresses out.”

Frank followed me into the bedroom, watching me as I sat down at my dressing table. “Why’s that?”

“My ex didn't like it,” I said simply.

“Well fuck him, cause I do,” Frank chuckled, kissing my cheek. “I'll leave you alone for a minute.” 

“Okay. I like your outfit too, by the way,” I hummed before he could leave. “You look good in suits. Really good.”

Frank shrugged and stroked his fingers through my hair. “Work outfit again. I might take the tie off.”

“Sounds good. Leave it here..”

Frank grinned. “Mhm. Good reason to come back, huh?”

“Exactly.”

 ~

Frank opened my door for me, helping me out of the car. I smiled at him nervously, then checked my arms. The makeup over the scars hadn't rubbed off yet, and I'd given the tube to Frank to keep in his pocket just in case. 

Mikey and Pete knew about them, but I still wasn't ready to show them to the world. Frank kissed my cheek, taking me by surprise and causing me to flinch. 

“Sorry,” he hummed simply, smiling at me. “Didn't mean to surprise you.”

I glanced up at him, blushing slightly. “It's okay..” 

Frank held my hand tightly as he led me into the restaurant. I spotted Mikey and Pete and grinned, waving as I gently pulled Frank over. I sat down, Frank's fingers slipping from mine, and looked up. “Come on, Frank..”

He hesitated, looking a little nervous before he sat down, next to me and across from Pete. I smiled at him softly and Pete grinned at me. 

I rolled my eyes and Mikey smiled. “It's good to see you in a dress again, Gee.”

I blushed immediately and cleared my throat. “I just bought it. It was kinda cheap, but..”

I felt Frank's hand on my thigh and pushed it away quickly, not looking at him. 

“Well, it's nice to see you again, Frank,” Pete cut in, smiling. “It's been a while.”

I bit my lip softly, looking over the menu. Frank glanced at me worriedly, but didn't say anything. 

“Yeah, it's all pretty surreal, but in a good way, y'know?”

Mikey nodded slightly. “So what do you do for a living, Frank?”

I tuned out for a while, studying the menu and letting myself get lost in thought. Frank nuzzled my cheek suddenly and I jumped. 

“Hey. Have you chosen yet?”

I nodded slightly and glanced up. Mikey and Pete were talking quietly, probably about the menu, and Frank was watching me, a caring expression on his face. 

“Yeah. I'm just gonna have a salad.”

Frank sighed, brushing my hair behind my ears gently. “Gee?”

“Mhm?”

“You're not trying to lose weight again, are you?” He asked in a very quiet voice, just above a whisper. I shook my head, frowning slightly. “Should I be?”

Frank closed his eyes for a couple seconds. “No, Gee,” he sighed after a pause. “You're perfect the way you are, okay? You don't need to worry about that.”

I smiled slightly and he brushed his thumb over my cheek. “Order whatever you want. I'll pay for it.”

I blinked and was about to protest when the waitress walked over. 

~ 

By the time we’d finished the main course, Frank had gotten me to eat a few fries off his plate, and was much more relaxed, joking and laughing with Mikey and Pete. I didn't even look at the dessert menu, gently pushing it away from me. When the waitress came over, Frank ordered two sundaes. 

I glanced up and he kissed my temple. “You don't have to eat it, Gee. Not if you really don't want it.”

I blushed, biting my lip lightly. “I um...I do want it..”

Frank chuckled and kissed my cheek. “Good. I want you to have it.”

“Why don't you buy me dessert?” Pete complained suddenly. I blushed a little darker, glancing up. 

“Cause you have your own big boy money on your big boy card,” Mikey chuckled, patting his husband on the cheek. I smiled and rolled my eyes as Pete pouted. 

“You're a child,” I commented, and Pete stuck his tongue out at me. 

Frank snorted and kissed my cheek as the waitress set our desserts down in front of us. I started to eat mine eagerly, and Frank rested his hand on my thigh lightly. I didn't push it away this time. 

 ~

Frank drove me home to ‘pick up his tie,’ following me inside slowly. I glanced back and bit my lip. “Everything okay?”

He blinked and nodded. “Yeah. Of course. I'm just...worried about you, I guess. I care about you, Gee. A lot. I...I love you..” 

I blushed, ducking my head slightly. “Frankie, I...I..”

He lifted my chin gently. “It's okay, Gerard. Look at me, honey. You don't have to say it, okay? You don't have to lie or do things you don't want to because you think it'll make me happy. Ever. I want you to feel free to tell me the truth, because that's all I ever want from you..”

I fell against his chest, sniffling as he wrapped his arms around me. “F-fuck.”

Frank chuckled softly and nuzzled the side of my head. “Oh baby. I think you're tired, hon. How about I help you get to bed?”

I nodded slightly and he wrapped an arm around my waist, walking me to the bedroom. “Come on, baby..” 

I whined softly, falling back on the bed and giggling. 

“You're drunk, I swear,” Frank laughed, carefully taking my shoes off and setting them aside. 

“I'm so tired,” I groaned, rolling onto my stomach. Frank snorted, unzipping my dress and helping me out of it. “You're a weirdo.”

“Mhm.”

Frank peeled my tights off and handed me a makeup wipe. “Here. I'm gonna get changed, alright?”

I grunted and wiped my face, then crawled into bed, curling up under the covers. After a few minutes, I felt Frank climb in next to me and he wrapped his arm around my waist tightly before flicking the light off. 

“Sweet dreams, beautiful. I gotta go home early tomorrow, I don't have any meds here.”

“M’kay. G’night.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's kind of short, but it is cute :)   
> I've nearly finished this story now, I've only got a chapter or two more to write, and it's gonna be a really sweet ending, I think you guys are really gonna like it..  
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting, guys! <3


	23. Part Two - Five

**G**

I hadn't seen Frank for almost a week, him being busy with his job and me with mine. Having night shifts every day didn't do much for my social life.

So I was surprised, but pleased when Frank arrived in the late afternoon of my day off, knocking on my door. I quickly pulled a shirt on and ran to answer it, blushing when I saw Frank, a huge bunch of roses in his hands. “Hey.”

I bit my lip and stepped back to let him in. “You didn't have to.”

“Ah, but I did,” Frank chuckled, setting the roses on the kitchen counter and pulling me close to him. I gulped.

“Sorry, Frankie. Thank you, they're beautiful.”

He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I messed up, didn't I? What did I say?”

I blinked and looked away, Frank's knuckles brushing over my cheek.

“I'm sorry, Gee. For whatever I did. I want to take you out..”

I pulled away and started to sort the flowers out, filling up a vase. “I'm busy tonight.”

Frank took a deep breath. “Gee, honey, you're in your pajamas.”

“I'm going out later.”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Okay, okay. I'll see you another time..” He started walking to the door, glancing back just as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Oh for-...Gerard, come here.”

I flinched, taking short, shallow breaths as I slunk over to Frank, not making eye contact with him.

“If something’s wrong, you have to tell me,” he murmured, pulling me into a hug. I fought him for a second, then realized he was simply rubbing my back. “Shh, Gee. You are silly,” he said gently, kissing the side of my head and hugging me tighter. “Why don't we sit down for a minute?”

I nodded shakily, walking to the couch and curling up. Frank sat down next to me, rubbing my knee lightly. “Hey. Look at me. I love you..”

I blushed and looked down at my hands. “I love you too.”

Frank smiled slightly and kissed my cheek softly. “I'm so glad, Gee. Why don't you come sit in my lap?”

“Yes Frank-”

He put a hand on my chest quickly, taking a deep breath. “Let me rephrase that. Would you like to come sit in my lap?”

I shook my head quickly and he sighed, pulling me into his side gently. I snuggled up to him, hugging his arm loosely.

“That's better,” Frank murmured softly. “Comfy?”

I nodded and he brushed my hair behind my ears slowly.

“Good. I've decided on some options for you. We can go shopping, and I'll spoil you and buy you dresses and skirts and blouses and everything women’s, or we can go for dinner and I'll spoil you with a three course meal, or I'll spoil you at home with cuddles and ice cream and movies.”

I blinked, rubbing my eyes. “The third one?”

“I thought you'd say that,” Frank hummed, rubbing the small of my back. “I need to run to the store.”

“Okay.”

“Do you need anything besides ice cream?”

I shook my head slowly and he nuzzled my jaw. “I love you.”

I just let my eyes flutter closed, letting out a soft breath. “I'll be right back..”

 ~

When Frank got back with the ice cream, I was in the bath, curled up under the water and staring at nothing. He slowly pushed the bathroom door open, smiling at me. “Hey, beautiful. Are you alright?”

I nodded slightly and he crouched down, combing his fingers through my hair.

“Would you like it if I joined you?”

I nodded again and Frank slipped his shirt off quickly, then stood up and kicked his jeans away. He slipped his boxers off a little more slowly and climbed in at the other end of the tub. I whined and he frowned. “Where do you want me?”

I slid forward a little, pointing behind me. Frank got up and shuffled around, sitting behind me and putting his legs on the outside of mine. He kissed my neck innocently, but I could feel his junk up against my back. I remembered cumming with him before and smiled to myself. I had felt safe in that instant, as my body had shuddered and shaken. I had felt safe in his arms after. I wanted that feeling back. I shifted back, lifting my ass up slightly and rubbing it against Frank's thick cock slowly.

“Ah- baby. Are you sure?” He mumbled, his dick already hardening against the small of my back.

I nodded quickly and turned around, gently pushing his shoulders down so he slid under me. I grabbed his cock and jerked my hand up and down, smiling at him sweetly until he was fully hard. He watched me happily, biting his lip ring lightly. Then his eyes widened as I spat on my fingers and shoved them up myself, trying to get at least some lubrication before I grabbed his cock and lined myself up, sinking down onto him. He threw his head back and bucked up into me, gasping.

“Ohh fuck! So fuckin’ tight..”

I purred and leaned against his chest, starting to tease him by rolling my hips, his cock sliding in and out of me just slightly. I kissed him sloppily, my mouth simply falling open against his as he started to thrust, holding my hips tightly and slamming into me. He changed angle slightly and I screamed, panting as I started to bounce in time with his thrusts, desperate to shove his cock against my prostate as he dug his nails into my hips, grinning up at me. “F-fuck yes, Gerard! J-just like that!”

I grinned to myself, knowing he wouldn't last much longer as he surged forward, biting my chest hard and gripping my sides as he continued to thrust up, this angle giving me even more stimulation. I gasped, watching him mark up my chest before he took my nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly. As soon as he bit down, I came, collapsing against him and twitching as I laid on his chest. He stayed half inside me, jerking himself off until I felt his heat splatter my insides and run out around his cock.

I let myself feel it completely; the sensation of complete and utter relaxation. Frank's strong arms wrapped around me and I let out a soft breath, the overwhelming feeling of security flooding over me. I felt like nothing could touch me as long as I laid there in my lover’s arms, feeling his heartbeat through his chest. Frank just held me for a while, his heavy breathing slowly evening out as he started to stroke my side, over and over again.

“Mm.”

He chuckled softly and kissed my cheek. “Is that good?”

I nodded, burying my face in his chest. His cock was still buried in my ass, but I could feel that he wasn't really interested anymore. I let my eyes close up, relishing the moment happily.

 

 _I shuddered and fell against Frank as I came, giggling happily when he wrapped his arms around me. “You're so beautiful, baby,” he murmured, kissing my jaw as I practically melted against his chest. “I love you,” I murmured, and he laughed. But it wasn't his normal carefree, sweet laugh. No, this one was getting more and more sinister by the second and I suddenly felt something wrap around my throat. I was dragged off the bed, hitting the floor with a loud thud as I struggled, clawing at the thick leather belt around my neck. I heard more laughing behind me and_ **he** _was there, grinning at me wickedly and holding a knife. “I never loved you!” He shouted in Frank's voice. My eyes widened and I frantically tried to scramble away, but felt the knife plunge into my chest._

 

I woke up screaming and Frank gently grabbed my hips, shushing me softly. I started to sob, shoving his hands off me and scrambling out of bed. I tried to run out of the room, but misjudged it in the dark and slammed into the wall instead, collapsing in a heap on the floor and clutching at my chest as I convulsed, the sobs too much to bear.

Light flooded the room and I saw Frank's face as he knelt down next to me, stroking my hair slowly. “Oh Gee. Oh honey, it's okay. You're bleeding, honey, can you calm down for me a little? Deep breaths..”

I tried to push his hands away but he shook his head and carefully lifted me up, cradling me in his lap as I buried myself in his chest desperately. “That's it. I'm here, little one. I love you, so so much. It's gonna be okay..”

He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck as he rocked me slowly.

~ 

I sat on the bathroom counter, letting Frank dab at the cut on my forehead. “I don't think it's bad, honey, just bleeding a lot.”

I nodded slightly, sniffling a bit. “I'm so stupid..”

“No, beautiful, you were scared. That's all..”

Frank smiled at me kindly and I shivered, looking away sharply. He ran a thumb over the scar on my chest. “What's this from, baby?”

I slapped his hand away harshly. “Don't touch it.”

“Okay..” Frank murmured, turning his attention back to my forehead calmly.

I felt sick, swaying slightly. “It's from where my second husband tried to kill me.”

Frank froze, his upper lip curling before he took a deep breath and relaxed. “One of these days, I will find him and kill him.”

I blinked and the tears ran down my cheeks slowly as I looked up at him.

“What happened?” He asked softly, holding the damp cloth against my forehead and caressing my cheek with his spare hand.

“He put his belt around my throat and he dragged me into the kitchen and then he stabbed me with a bread knife.”

Frank's nostrils flared and he leaned in, kissing me softly. “You're safe now. I won't let anyone near you ever again.”

“That's what I dreamed about..”

He nodded slightly and took the cloth away, pulling me into a tight hug. “And then he said in your voice, he said ‘I never loved you.’”

Frank tensed again, then squeezed me tighter. “It was just a dream, Gerard. I love you. I've loved you for years. I've been in love with you for years. I never want to leave you, and I'd never hurt you..”

“I kn-know...it s-scared me..”

Frank hummed softly and rubbed my back slowly. “Oh baby, I know. But I'm here now, your Frankie’s here. And I'm gonna take you to my house. Let's go pack you an overnight bag, okay?”

He pulled away from the hug, wiping my cheeks gently as I stared at him in confusion.

“A change of scenery,” he explained as he helped me down from the counter, then stuck a plaster over the cut on my forehead. “It might help keep the nightmares away, and my bed’s a bit bigger, so it's nicer for cuddles.”

I nodded slightly and Frank walked me back to the bedroom, keeping an eye on me. “Do you feel okay, baby? No concussion?”

I shook my head and sniffed. “It just stings.”

“I'm sure, you really smacked into that wall, baby. I thought maybe you had a grudge.”

I managed a giggle and Frank nuzzled the side of my head before grabbing my backpack from the closet. “Come on. Why don't you get yourself dressed while I pack? You can just put on some pajamas.”

I nodded, slowly starting to slip on the pajama pants and t shirt I’d discarded earlier. Frank got dressed as well, then swung my backpack up onto his shoulder and wrapped an arm around my waist, walking me to the front door slowly. He helped me into my wooly boots and kicked his own shoes on before opening the door and handing me my keys. “Come on.”

Frank gently led me outside and down the stairs, half carrying me to his car. I collapsed into the passenger seat and curled up, shivering. Frank got in quickly and started the car, cranking the heating up before starting to drive.

I dozed off a little on the way there, waking up when Frank carried me inside, setting me on my feet at the bottom of the stairs. I clung to his hand as he walked me up, the stairs creaking quietly underfoot. As we walked down the hallway, I heard a voice from one of the bedrooms, making me nearly jump out of my skin.

“Frank?”

Frank winced and sighed, gently leading me over to the door and opening it. Chris was sat up in bed, a book in his lap and the bedside lamp on.

“Dad, for fuck’s sake! Do you never sleep? It's three in fucking morning!”

He flipped Frank off and I giggled softly. Chris looked past his son to me and smiled.

“Hi, Gerard. You don't look too good, is everything okay?”

Frank sighed, stroking my hair slowly. “Gee had a really bad nightmare and he tried to run through a wall, so I thought I’d try bringing him here and see if it helps.”

“That's a good idea. Now go get some sleep, both of you.”

Frank rolled his eyes again and shut the door, gently ushering me down the hall to his room. I barely looked around, just stumbling to the huge, plush bed and collapsing into it. Frank chuckled and pulled my shirt and pants off, then tucked me in carefully as I grumbled. He soon slid in next to me, turning the lights off and pulling me close. I tried to sit up and Frank stroked my side. “What's wrong, Gee?”

“D-do you have a nightlight?”

Frank sighed softly and got up, turning the lights on again and rummaging around in a drawer. He plugged the nightlight into the wall and glanced back at me. I smiled sheepishly and he turned the main lights off again, walking back to me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, and he shook his head, getting back into bed and hugging me tightly.

“Anything to make you comfortable.”

I purred and buried my face in his chest, letting my eyes slip closed and my body relax.

 

_Frank grinned as he bumped the spoon against my lips. I opened my mouth obediently, purring happily as he fed me the ice cream. He gently pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “I love that little purr of yours.”_

_I purred again and he pulled me into a soft kiss, his fingers sliding into my hair._

 

I shifted and groaned softly. My head hurt really badly. I curled up and felt Frank's arm snake around my waist as he grunted sleepily. “You okay?”

“It hurts..”

He gently rolled me over to face him, sighing softly. “I'll go get you some ibuprofen, baby.”

I watched him go, feeling a little guilty that I was so much trouble. When he came back, he helped me sit up and watched carefully as I took the pills. “There we go, baby. Just lay still.”

Frank walked around the room, pulling the curtains and cutting out most of the sunlight. He wandered back to me and leaned down, kissing my lips softly. “No more nightmares?”

I smiled sleepily. “I had a nice dream. You fed me ice cream and kissed me.”

“Hmm, I think I'll have to recreate that one later, but in the meantime, I'm gonna go make you some breakfast and sort Chris out, okay? Try and get a little more rest.”

 ~

Frank gently shook me, helping me sit up as he placed the tray in my lap. There was a steaming mug of mint tea, a huge Belgian waffle with cream and strawberries, and a big glass of water.

“You gotta drink all the water, sweetie,” Frank murmured, sitting down next to me.

“Where's yours?” I mumbled sleepily. He kissed my cheek. “I already had mine with Chris. I wanted you to sleep for a while.”

I nodded slightly and dug in, unable to resist. Strawberries and cream was one of my favorite things. As soon as I'd finished, Frank handed me my phone. “Call in sick, baby. We’re gonna have a nice day together. Is that headache any better?”

“A lot,” I smiled softly, thanking him as he took the tray away.

“Good. Why don't you lie down for another hour and then I'll take you out shopping?”

I frowned tiredly. “But I don't like you spending money on me,” I mumbled childishly.

“Too bad,” Frank smiled, kissing my forehead gently. “You need some new clothes, love. We don't have to go to expensive places, I promise. I wanna be your sugar daddy, I wanna spoil you. I really do, because I just want you to be happy.”

“I'm happy now,” I protested quietly and he kissed me.

“I know, but...I just like buying you things, Gerard. I liked it when we were younger, but I couldn't afford much. Now I can and I want to give it to you.”

I sighed, realizing that I was definitely losing. “Okay, but...just stuff I need.”

~ 

Frank grinned at me as I set the bags down in the hallway, giggling. I'd bought way more than I'd intended, but Frank had just smiled and encouraged me quietly. He'd paid for it all at the end, and I felt horribly guilty, but he just smiled at me and told me how much fun he'd had.

Now he swept me up in his arms, raining kisses down on my cheeks and forehead. “Mm...I love you, Geebear. I do. So so much..”

I purred softly and he pulled me even closer to him, grinning at me. “Come on. I got you some presents while you weren't looking..”

He took my hand gently and helped me carry everything upstairs, opening the door to a different room. “Gee, honey. I know it's really quick and all, and I want you to know that I won't be angry at all if you say no, but I'm offering you the chance to move in with me. You can have your own room and everything.”

I blinked at him, sniffling. “A-are you sure?”

Frank nodded and kissed my cheek softly. “Of course.”

I bit my lip lightly. “Frankie...can I think about it?”

He nodded again and smiled down at me. “Go ahead and get all those dresses hung up, though. You can use all the closet space, yeah? And when you're all done, come to my room and I'll show you those presents.”

 ~

I pushed the door open slowly, gasping when I saw the bed was covered with wrapped gifts. “Frankie!”

He smiled at me from near the bed, gesturing for me to walk over to him. I bounced over and hugged him tightly, giggling happily. “I hate you, Frankie, you're too nice to me!”

“Most of them are for me too. And some of them...some of them are kind of...for later? They're more something I’d get you later down the line in our relationship, but I want you to get an idea of how I see us being.”

I blinked, thoroughly confused. “Um. Okay. Which should I open first?”

“Pick one, love.”

I picked up a small, flat box, undoing the pink ribbon and lifting the lid. My eyes lit up and I grinned, pulling out one of the pairs of silk panties. “Oh Frankie! They're beautiful!” I grinned, and he pushed some of the presents aside, sitting down on the bed and pulling me down next to him.

“That's kind of for both of us,” he chuckled. I blushed and kissed his jaw softly. Before I could say anything else, he put another box in my hands, this one more square and heavier. I opened it, smiling at the array of chocolate truffles. “Frankie..”

He stroked my hair back from my face gently. “You still like chocolate, right?”

I blushed again and nodded quickly. “Yes! Yes, I do, Frankie.”

“Good,” he hummed, kissing my temple softly and giving me another box.

This one was more lingerie, but soft and white and lacy, a pair of sexy shorts and a thin spaghetti strap top that just showed my skin through the fine, silky mesh. “It's beautiful, Frankie..” I mumbled, feeling like I was about to cry. “I-I’m...it’s too pretty for me..”

Frank tutted and shook his head. “No, baby. If anything, you're too pretty for it.”

I looked up at him, his face blurred with my tears. “I'm disgusting,” I whispered shakily. Frank's jaw dropped and he stared at me briefly.

“Who told you that? Huh?”

I flinched back and he cupped my face in his hands. “Whoever told you that was a fucking arsehole and was trying to mess with you, Gerard. Anyone with eyes would tell you that you're beautiful. You have the perfect eyes, perfect lips, and you've got these perfect curves. You're the most stunning thing I've ever seen.”

The tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks as Frank talked, his thumbs coming up and swiping the tears away. “Come on. Put it on, go on. I want you to try it on. Please?”

I nodded slightly and he kissed me softly, helping me stand up and slowly undressing me, kissing my skin every now and then. As soon as I was naked, he carefully pulled the shorts up over my hips, doing up the little bow at the front before pulling the top on over my head and leading me over to the mirror. My eyes widened and I sniffed. “Oh fuck..”

Frank grinned smugly, rubbing the small of my back as I turned slightly, admiring myself. “Oh Frankie..”

“You look like an angel, beautiful,” he purred, leaning over and kissing my neck softly. “You really do.”

I leaned back against him, sniffing again as he slid his hand under the shirt, spreading his fingers on my stomach. “Come on. We should open the others.”

I nodded and bit my lip softly, following him back to the bed. He handed me a familiar looking box and I opened it to find a beautiful light pink version of what I was wearing. “Ooh...I like pink,” I giggled happily. Frank nuzzled my cheek and kissed my temple. “I know, baby..”

He handed me one last, rather large box. “Now, Gee. This one is for later, okay?” He said firmly, looking at me. I nodded and smiled at him nervously, carefully tugging the wrapping off the big black case. I frowned, opening it carefully and nearly dropping the whole thing. Frank rubbed my shoulder quickly. “Gee, baby..” I looked at him, sniffling again. “I wanted you to know that I'm planning for us to trust each other. Entirely. I know we’ll get there one day, and then we’ll be able to play with some of this stuff. You don't need to panic because this is going to stay in my closet until you ask for it.”

I blinked, looking back down at the BDSM kit and running my fingers over it. There were vibrators, dildos, beads, cock rings and cages, handcuffs, and a ball gag. And..

I snatched the whip out of the box and tossed it away from me. Frank nodded slightly. “I wasn't gonna use that anyway, love.”

I looked at him and he smiled sadly. We just looked at each other for a couple seconds, understanding one another. We both had whip scars.

“I've used cock rings before..” I mumbled, biting my lip. “And I really like beads. Um...what are these?”

I pointed to a set of small, thin metal rods. Frank cleared his throat.

“Those are sounding rods, beautiful. Not really my thing.”

I nodded slightly, taking a deep breath. I tugged the cock ring, the largest vibrator, and the largest set of beads from the box and set them aside before closing the case and handing it back to Frank. I smiled at him shyly and he shook his head. “God, I love you.” I blushed and he kissed me gently.

“Gee...I was thinking, love...and what kind of belt did your ex have?”

I blinked at him, swallowing hard. “Brown leather with a big silver buckle.”

Frank nodded slightly. “I'm getting rid of mine, okay?”

I flung my arms around his neck and he rubbed my back slowly as I buried my face in his neck. “You mean more to me than almost anything else,” he murmured. I giggled and slapped his shoulder lightly.

“Almost?”

Frank tilted his head. “There's Chris,” he pointed out gently. “But you mean just as much to me as he does. So yes. Almost.”

I smiled slightly and kissed him briefly. “I can live with that.”

 ~

I leaned against Frank's chest as he kissed me softly, his arms wrapped around my waist loosely. “I'll see you soon, beautiful. Call me if you get any nightmares.”

I nodded, edging through my apartment doorway. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too..”

I blew him a kiss before shutting the door and sighing to myself. I slipped my phone out of my pocket and dialed Pete quickly.

“Oh my God. Tell me everything about your day,” Pete grinned as soon as he answered. I giggled softly.

“It was perfect. He took me shopping and he really really spoiled me, and I felt kind of guilty, but he said he liked spending money on me, so I dunno...but then he gave me a bunch of presents too like sexy underwear and lingerie and chocolates and we kind of just lounged in his bed all day and he fed me chocolate and he touched me a few times, but it wasn't sexual..”

“What do you mean?”

I took a deep breath. “Well, he was talking about how he liked me before and after my surgery and he was just kind of touching me through my underwear and it felt really good, but like...good because he was talking about loving me. Not good cause he was touching me.”

“Oh, I get it. That's so cute!”

I blushed and smiled to myself, running a hand through my hair. “He says he wants to be my sugar daddy.”

“Holy fuck. Marry him.”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, sitting down at my dressing table and wiping my makeup away. “Yeah, cause that worked out well the first two times.”

“Ah, you know what I mean,” Pete hummed, and I could hear a crash in the background. “Sorry, your brother is trying to cook dinner and it’s already a disaster.”

“Mhm,” I answered matter-of-factly. “He burns toast.”

“I know...I should probably go and make sure he's not setting the house on fire..”

“Well, I needed to talk to him anyway, why don't you pass me over and I'll keep him busy while you fix it?”

Pete laughed softly. “Perfect.”

A couple minutes later, Mikey mumbled a sullen ‘hello.’

“Hi Mikes,” I murmured. “Pete doesn't mind that you can't cook.”

“I know. I just wanted to do something nice for him. Anyway, how was Frank today?”

“Well..” I took a deep breath. “I kind of wanted to talk about that, actually. He asked me to move in with him.”

“What the fuck?”

“I know, I know, but his house is really nice...he said I could have my own room..”

“No, Gee. Don't even consider it, not yet. I know he won't hurt you, but you need to spend more time together before you do that.”

I got up to start getting ready for work, sighing quietly. “He was so sweet to me today, Mikey. He took me shopping..and I had a nightmare last night and when I told him about it, he said he'd get rid of his belt cause it's like the one...he had.”

“That's awesome, Gee, and really cute, but it doesn't mean you're ready to move in together. Give it a little more time. Frank isn't going anywhere.”

 ~~~

I was just serving my last few drinks of the night when a tall guy with a scruffy beard and a few grey hairs walked over, smirking at me. “Hey hot stuff.”

I didn't look at him. “What would you like to drink?”

“Mm, well, I can think of a few things,” he growled, leaning on the bar and trying to touch my jaw. I pushed his hand away lightly. “Please don't touch me..”

I walked off down the bar, starting to clean up the counters, but he followed me, watching me with hungry eyes. It wasn't the type of hungry I saw in Frank's eyes. Frank always looked like he'd turned up at a five star restaurant and was looking at a plate of the most delicious food in the world. This guy looked like he'd been starving for weeks and someone had offered him Burger King.

I tried to take deep breaths, but my heart rate was going nuts. I touched Darren, my fellow bartender, on the shoulder, muttering something about checking the kitchens before slipping out from behind the bar. Before I could get through the kitchen door, I felt the man's hand on my ass, his nails digging in. Without thinking, I whipped around and punched him in the face, then bolted out of the bar.

 

I sat in my car, finally getting the tears to stop coming as I continued to take deep, but ragged breaths. A tapping on the window made me jump and I looked up at my boss, sighing quietly. I got out of the car, blinking slowly. He looked furious and I knew what was about to happen.

“Gerard, you know for a fact I don't like you much. But I put that aside because you're an amazing bartender and all the customers like you. I can't let you get away with punching a customer, and I don't want to-”

“But he grabbed my ass,” I said slowly. “After I told him to leave me alone. That's sexual assault.”

My boss shrugged. “Sorry, Gerard, you're fired.”

I flipped him off and got back into the car. “Fuckin’ arse.” I started my car and buckled my seatbelt, driving out of the parking lot. My hands were shaking, my breath quick and rough.

I didn't know where to go, but I knew I wanted a drink. Very very badly. Too badly.

I made a decision and floored it down the road.

 

As I knocked on Frank's door, I started to feel less and less sure of my plan. It was nearly two, and he was sure to be asleep.

_You shouldn't wake him up, he'll get so angry._

I was just about to walk back to my car when Frank opened the door, squinting at me.

“Gerard?”

I turned slowly, suddenly apprehensive. “I'm sorry, Frank..”

He was shirtless, watching me sleepily. “What's going on?”

“I'm going home, I shouldn't have woken you..”

“No, Gee. You're here now,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes. “Come on. It's freezing and you don't have a coat. Come inside..”

I sniffed, taking a slow step towards him.

“Gee, before I change my mind, come on! My nipples are about to fall off..”

I managed a tiny smile as he gently pulled me into the house, kissing my cheek. “Geez, you're cold. Come upstairs, do you want me to run you a bath?”

I nodded slightly and Frank turned, holding my hand tightly as he led me up the stairs and into the huge master bathroom. He started the tap and turned to me. “What's going on, hon? You look upset,” he murmured, cupping my face in his hands. I shrugged.

“I got fired.”

Frank's eyes widened and he nodded. “Why's that?”

I looked away and shrugged again. “This guy was being all creepy and he grabbed my ass so I punched him. My boss fired me mostly cause he doesn't like me.”

Frank rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Jerk. Don't worry about it, okay? I can always find you a job..”

I blushed and nodded slightly, running a hand through my hair tiredly. Frank stepped forward and started unbuttoning my shirt slowly. “You're so beautiful, Gerard. You are.”

There was that hunger again, his pupils expanding and masking the deep green of his irises. I didn't even shiver.

As Frank pulled the shirt off my shoulders, I took a sharp breath in, the cold air hitting my bare chest.

“Here. Let's get you undressed a little quicker,” Frank mumbled, unzipping my jeans and helping me get them off. He smiled at the panties I was wearing, one of the pairs he'd given me. “I'm glad they fit you.”

I smiled and slipped them down, kicking them away before stepping into the tub and sinking down into the warm water with a soft sigh. Frank knelt down and leaned on the tub, smiling at me. “Are you feeling alright?”

I shrugged and blew him a kiss. “I didn't really like that job anyway.”

“Okay.”

Silence fell, but Frank broke it a few minutes later.

“Gee?”

“Mhm?”

“Are you gonna tell me more about your husbands?”

I sighed and shook my head slightly. “Not right now.”

“Okay.”

“But I should probably tell you I'm a recovering alcoholic,” I mumbled, surprising myself.

“Okay,” Frank nodded, tracing his fingertips along my jaw.

“That's why I came here,” I muttered, looking away from him. “Cause I knew I was gonna get drunk otherwise.”

He kissed my cheek softly, brushing my hair behind my ears. “I'm sorry, Gee. But I'm always here for you, honey. Even at two in the morning. If you need me, you just gotta call.”

I smiled sadly, sniffing. “You're too good for me, Frankie.”

“No, I'm exactly as good as you deserve,” Frank grinned, kissing me briefly. “I love you, little one.”

 ~

I ran my hand up and down Frank's arm, studying his tattoos. Light was streaming in through the windows, but he was still sleeping soundly, his arm wrapped tight around my waist. I smiled to myself, running my hand up to his bicep. He'd been toned in high school, but now he had muscles. They weren't huge or overly in your face, but I could see them when he wrapped his arms around me or when he'd just gotten out of the shower and water was glistening on his skin.

For some reason, it made me feel safe. Yes, he could beat the shit out of me, but he could also beat the shit out of anyone who tried to touch me. I had a feeling I knew which one was more likely to happen.

Frank's phone rang and he groaned loudly, kissing my back through the lacy white top. “Sorry, baby.”

“S’okay. I was already awake,” I hummed as he sat up, answering the phone.

“Um, what the actual fuck?” He snapped, squeezing my hip before slipping out of bed and walking towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, I could hear him shouting and flinched, curling up tightly.

“Why the _fuck_ not? You have that prescription on auto renewal! It's not that fucking hard! So you're seriously fucking telling me that I won't get them until next fucking week? I'm gonna tell your fucking manager, you stupid piece of shit!”

I heard a loud thud and I jumped again, pulling the covers over my head. Frank swore quietly and everything went quiet for a few seconds. Then I could hear footsteps coming towards me and I curled up tighter. Frank's hand landed on my side and I squeaked softly, trying to wriggle away.

“Hey, baby, no,” Frank soothed, pulling the covers away from my head so I could see him. “Shh, I'm not angry with you, honey. It's alright..”

I sniffed and he leaned over, kissing my cheek softly. “Gee, they messed up my meds, honey, that's all. I'm gonna have to go without them for a few days, so you might need to-”

He was interrupted by my phone ringing, and he handed it to me, stroking my hair. I answered it, sniffling.

“Y-yeah?”

“Your boss just called,” my landlord growled. “You're behind on two months of rent and you just lost your fucking job. Come and pick up your stuff before I throw it in the fucking garbage.”

I hung up and stared at nothing for a while, barely feeling Frank's fingers on my cheek as he tried to comfort me.

 ~

Frank watched as I unpacked the last box in his spare bedroom. “Are you sure you don't want to go stay with Mikey?”

I nodded, but it was a lie. I was scared, I didn't know what would happen when Frank's medication wore off, but I knew it could be bad. On the other hand, I was morbidly curious. I wanted to see what would happen and I wanted to see Frank at his worst. He crouched down next to me, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “Gerard, look at me.”

I blinked at him expressionlessly.

“I'm gonna get angry and irritable, and I'm gonna be a huge pain in the ass...but I won't hurt you. I love you, Gerard. So fucking much, and I want you to know that. I might shout at you and I might swear at you, but I love you, and once I get my pills, I'll be okay again. I promise. And Chris will be here most of the time, too. He’ll sit with you if you're worried, okay?”

I nodded slightly, trying to take deep breaths. Frank pulled me into a gentle hug, rubbing my back slowly. “God, I love just hugging you,” he mumbled softly. “Just holding you feels so good.”

“I love you, Frankie..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the longer chapter, and yes, there will be a little trouble in the next one...  
> I'm all set to finish this story today, and I'm kind of excited about it. I'm ready to start a new project and I think you guys will really love the ending ;)


	24. Part Two - Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is another mention of SH in this chapter, let me know if there's any problems.

**G**

I was eating breakfast quietly when Frank came downstairs. I hunched over my bowl slightly, not sure what would happen as he came up behind me. “Gimme,” he mumbled, taking the box of cereal from in front of me. I blinked and swallowed hard. Frank's manners were usually impeccable. He swayed a little as he poured the cereal into the bowl, swearing quietly as a few pieces escaped. “Fuckin’...shit.”

I heard a creak behind me and jumped, glancing around. Chris smiled at me, wheeling his chair over to the table next to me and rubbing my shoulder gently. Frank was gulping down his cereal now, as if his life depended on it. 

“You okay?” Chris asked me softly. 

“Why wouldn't he be, Dad?” Frank snapped suddenly. Chris sighed quietly and brushed his hair behind his ears. 

“I'm just asking, Frank. No harm in it.”

He spoke evenly and with exaggerated calm, but I could tell he wasn't scared of Frank as the younger man rolled his eyes and dumped his bowl in the sink before stalking off. 

“He didn't say good morning,” I mumbled, feeling stupid as I stared down at my bowl. Chris nodded slightly, rubbing between my shoulders slowly. 

“I know, Gee, I know. He loves you, he's just dealing with some stuff right now. He's...scared.”

I sighed, poking at the rest of my cereal unenthusiastically before getting up and starting to clean the kitchen. 

“I'm going for a job interview in about ten minutes, are you gonna be okay?” Chris asked quietly, watching me as I scrubbed the sink. 

“Yeah.”

I kept scrubbing, the bleach already making my fingers feel slimy and itchy. 

I always scrubbed when I felt uncertain or worried. Cleaning rarely got me into trouble. 

Chris touched my hip lightly. “Call me if you need me. He’ll probably mope in his office all day.”

I nodded, trying to get the taps spotless now. 

 ~

By the time I’d cleaned the entire downstairs of the house, it was almost lunchtime and I still hadn't seen Frank. So, my stomach churning, I walked up to his frosted glass office door. 

“Frank?”

I knocked lightly. 

“Fuck off.”

“Frankie, love, it's nearly lunchtime,” I called, my voice betraying me by coming out squeaky and shaky. “Do you want me to make you something?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? I don't mind..”

“What part of no didn't you understand, Gerard?” Frank snapped suddenly and I jumped back from the door.

“Sorry, Frankie, sorry..”

I scrambled upstairs, starting to clean the upstairs bathroom and forgetting all about lunch. 

 ~

Chris got home some time later and I heard Frank's office door slam. 

“Dad, where the fuck have you been?”

There was shouting for a while, but I couldn't make out the words. A couple minutes later, Frank stomped up the stairs and past Chris's room, which I was tidying quietly, slamming the door behind him as he walked into his own room. I got up quickly and hurried downstairs, wanting comfort from Chris, but unable to find him. 

I curled up on the couch instead, shaking as I hugged my knees. Frank would come for me any second...he probably still had that belt, and he'd wrap it around my throat…

“Gerard!” Frank screamed from upstairs. I flinched and buried my face in my knees, too scared to move as he ran down the stairs. “Gerard! Did I ask you to clean my fucking room?”

He stopped in front of me and I looked up, shaking my head slowly as I tried not to just burst into tears. His face was red and his chest was heaving. “Then why the fuck did you do it? Huh? You stupid bitch! I can't find a fucking thing now! You fucked it all up!”

I closed my eyes and looked away, ready for the blow as Frank yelled inches away from my face. “Frank, that's enough!” Chris shouted, making me jump. I looked up, shivering when I saw him at the edge of the living room. Frank turned on him, growling. 

“Stay out of this, old man!”

“No! Gerard cleaned your room because he's scared of you and he was trying to do something nice! You need to calm down and take a breath, Frank. He loves you, you love him. Look at him. He's terrified of you.”

At this point, I bolted, pushing past the two men and running upstairs, all the way into my room. I slammed and locked the door behind me before crawling under the bed slowly and curling up as tightly as I could. 

 ~~~

There was a gentle knock on my door. “It's Chris, Gerard. Can I come in?”

I climbed out of bed and walked to the door, opening it carefully. 

“Hey,” he murmured, smiling at me as I stepped aside to let him in, quickly shutting the door behind him. “Frank says you've been shut in here for two days..”

I nodded slightly, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “Y-yeah..”

Chris sighed and watched me as I sat down on the edge of my bed carefully. “He took his meds this afternoon, he’ll be normal by the morning. Look, Gerard..I know it was scary for you, and I know how hard it was to see him like that, but that's the worst it gets. I promise you. He shouts and he screams and he has a fit and then it's over. Yeah?”

“B-but I don't want to deal with that,” I mumbled quietly. “I thought he was gonna choke me or hit me.”

“Gerard, he was at his worst and he still didn't even think of harming you. Do you understand?”

I nodded slightly and looked away, sniffling. “Y-yeah. You're saying that he'd never harm me..”

“Yes. But I know the shouting hurts too,” Chris sighed softly. I tugged my sleeves over my hands unconsciously, nodding slightly. 

“Frank says he's gonna cook you breakfast tomorrow and he says he wants to cuddle you all day.”

I bit my lip harshly, feeling the scab under my teeth. “I'm not sure-”

“I know. Tell him that, yeah? Tell him how much that scared you. He can't control it, he can't make it not have happened, but if he understands how terrified you were, he’ll be absolutely certain that you never see him like that again.”

I looked down, fiddling with my fingers. “I guess I'm horrible drunk…”

“Yes!” Chris smiled brightly. “Exactly. It's like him being drunk or high except he hates it.”

I let myself smile, just slightly. “Is he still mad about the cleaning?”

“No, Gee. No, of course not. He understands that you have some coping mechanisms that are different to his, and he's ready to be accommodating to those.”

I nodded, picking at a loose thread on my sweater. “Okay. I'm. I'm not sure how I feel right now.”

“I know, Gerard. That's okay,” Chris soothed, rubbing my shoulder. “Just remember that he's super excited to see you.”

 ~

I stirred softly as I felt a warm hand on my bare side. “Gee?”

I groaned softly and Frank's soft lips connected with my cheek. “Sit up, baby, I brought you breakfast..”

I sat up sleepily, rubbing my eyes lightly. As soon as I looked at him, all I could think of was him screaming at me, his face red and angry. He must have noticed the change in my expression as he sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing my calf slowly. “Shh, Gerard. It's me, just me. None of that other stuff that makes me scared and angry..”

I sniffed, watching him warily. He tried to take my hand, and I tugged it back, but not quickly enough. He grabbed ahold of my wrist, gasping softly. “Gerard!”

I pulled my arm back, holding it against my body as I looked away. 

“Is this cause of what I said?” He murmured, watching me despairingly. I nodded slightly. “Oh fuck. Maybe...oh fuck. Maybe I'm not the best person for you..” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes shakily. “Gerard, baby, I didn't mean any of it. I didn't know what I was saying. I love that you cleaned my room and you did an amazing job. I think you're really intelligent, and..” Frank trailed off and ran a hand through his hair. “I was worried that...look, I have a present for you hidden in my room and I didn't want you to find it.”

I folded my arms over my chest, taking a deep breath as I tried to take charge a little. “Prove it.”

Frank sighed quietly and nodded. “It was meant for later..” He got up, walking out of the room. I curled up a little tighter, sniffling as I rested my chin on my knees. Frank came back a few minutes later and placed a large book down on the bed. “I was gonna get you some stuff to go with it, but I didn't get round to it,” he said sullenly. 

“Frankie, I don't get it?”

I ran my fingers over the cover of the Fiske college guide. 

He sat down next to me, but not too close. “Gerard, I want to pay for you to go to university. I want you to follow your dreams. I know you don't want to be a bartender forever, and I know you want to pursue your passion. I wanna help you.” 

I glared at him, shaking my head. “N-no. I'm m-mad at you, you c-can't give me huge presents.”

Frank chuckled sadly, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Geebear, at the moment I make a lot more money than I need. I don't want it. I put most of it back into the company and I donate most of the rest. I can't think of anything better to spend it on than you. I love you. It wouldn't be a big deal to send you to school. I mean, it kind of would be for me if you wanted to go far away, but we could deal with that, too...I'm rambling..”

I sniffed, trying to catch the tears running down my cheeks. Frank leaned over, picking up my left arm and kissing over the fresh scabs softly. “I love you, Gee. So so friggin’ much. Hug?”

I nodded quickly, flinging my arms around his neck and letting him pull me close to him. Despite everything, I found myself melting into his chest, and even feeling safe as his arms wrapped around my waist. “Oh Gee...we’ll be okay one day. I promise.”

 ~

I nuzzled Frank's side as he grunted softly. He was fast asleep, and I'd been trying to wake him gently for about fifteen minutes. “Frankie!”

He finally groaned and opened his eyes, glaring at me. “What do you want?” He asked with a bright smile to show he was joking. I kissed his cheek. “I'm hungry.”

He rolled his eyes. “The kitchen is that way.”

I pouted at him and he sighed. “I can't say no. God, you need to unlearn that move. Is there a button or something?”

Frank poked my side jokingly and I giggled. An evil grin spread over his face and he grabbed me, tickling my sides and making me squeal and laugh as I tried to slap him away. “Frankie!”

He gently pinned me to the sofa, leaning over me and kissing me softly as he stroked my sides gently. “I love you, cutie.” 

I purred, relaxing as he nuzzled my jaw. “Gee, I was thinking..”

I blinked at him, stroking his cheek slowly. “Yeah?”

“Do you think it would be a good idea for you to go to a counselor? I fully accept that you don't want to tell me about your husbands just yet, but I feel like you should be talking to someone about it.”

I nodded, curling up slightly underneath his body. “Mhm. It’d be a good idea, but I can't afford it.”

Frank stared at me for a second, then laughed softly. “Gee..”

I frowned and gently pushed him away, sitting up. “Frankie, I love you and all, but I don't want to be totally dependent on you.”

Frank sighed, but nodded. “I get it. How about I get you that job I promised? I could really do with a receptionist slash assistant.”

I shook my head slightly. “No, Frankie. Again, I really love you, but I don't wanna be around you 24/7. I have to have some time on my own so that being with you feels more special. Like a reward at the end of the day instead of being part of my work.”

Frank looked down at his lap, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Um...I could give you a bartending job..”

I nodded and kissed him softly. “Okay, Frankie. I'd love that..” I stroked his cheeks slowly and lifted his chin gently. “I love you.” 

 ~

Frank gently pinned me to the bed, biting his lip harshly. We'd gone out for lunch and I’d felt confident enough to flirt with him a little and tease him by rubbing him through his slacks on the way home. 

“Fuck, I wanna fuck you till you can't walk,” he muttered, his eyes dark and clouded with lust. I purred and started to unbutton my blouse, giggling as he practically drooled on me. “Oh Gee..” He half moaned, watching me hungrily as I tossed the blouse away and unzipped my women’s trousers, letting my own semi-hard cock free. Frank's eyes widened and he licked his lips as he ran his finger over the silver ring. 

“Oh my god..”

I giggled and rolled over, wriggling the slacks down enough to expose my ass. Frank spread my cheeks and groaned. “Oh shit..”

I felt him grab onto the ring, making me squirm as he pulled one of the beads out with a slight pop, then pushed it back in slowly. “Gerard, I swear to god..”

He licked up my back from my tailbone to my neck, rubbing my sides lightly, right in my sensitive area. “I could definitely jerk off to this right here..”

I giggled happily and rolled onto my back again, wriggling my trousers off and arching my back slightly as I tossed them away. Frank grinned, rubbing my thighs slowly. “Did you wear those for all of lunch?”

I nodded slightly. “All for you,” I purred softly. “What’re you gonna do to me?” 

Frank bit his lip softly. “I can think of so many things...uh...would it be okay if I got something else?”

I smiled and sat up, stretching a little. “Of course, sweetie.”

Frank kissed the side of my head and hurried off, coming back a couple minutes later with a large vibrator and a remote control. “On your hands and knees, love.”

I did as I was told quickly and Frank slowly pulled the beads out of me before pushing the vibrator in instead. I whined softly, ducking my head. 

“Fuck, Frankie, that's h-huge..”

He chuckled, guiding me to lay on my back. “Oh shit...um…” He frowned suddenly, stroking my cheek. “I forgot you don't want me to..”

I smiled up at him shyly, shaking my head. “It's okay. I trust you if you wanna use my mouth.”

“Is it okay if I do most of the work?”

I nodded quickly and gently tugged him closer. “Come on, I'm really horny..”

Frank laughed and climbed up, kneeling with one leg on either side of my shoulders. “Alright, Gee..”

He stroked my cheek and I opened my mouth as he slid into me, groaning softly. “Fuck, I forgot how good you feel.”

I grinned around him, relaxing my throat and stroking his thigh slowly. 

“Are you ready?”

I nodded slightly and Frank slid all the way to the back of my throat, groaning as he did so. “You don't get to cum until I do.”

I whimpered, my eyes widening as he lifted the remote, pressing a button quickly. I shuddered, arching my back and moaning around Frank's dick as I felt the vibrator push up against my spot. 

“That's it,” Frank murmured, continuing to slide in and out of my throat slowly. “Does that feel good?”

I grunted and started to suck on him lightly, doing my best while thoroughly distracted. Frank suddenly increased the pace, throwing his head back as he thrust into me, hitting the back of my throat repeatedly. 

I closed my lips a little and tried to focus, but he pressed another button and the pleasure was almost unbearable, causing me to writhe under him as he fucked my mouth hard and fast, holding my cheek with one hand and keeping my chest down with the other. I could barely breathe, but I tried as hard as I could to get him off, tightening my throat around him and occasionally letting out little whimpers or groans as the vibrator shifted inside of me. 

Frank pulled out of my mouth suddenly, shaking his head as he flipped me over roughly, growling softly. I squealed as he ripped the vibrator out of me and shoved in in its place, slamming into me over and over. I gasped and shook and arched my back as Frank fucked me harder than he ever had before. He leaned over me, nipping my earlobe. “You wanna cum, don't you?”

I gasped, trembling all over and trying to grab at him. “Y-yeah! P-please!”

He chuckled and grabbed my hips, lifting them up slightly. “Not until I do!”

I cried out and pushed back against him as hard as I could, finally relaxing as he thrust twice more, filling me up with sticky heat. I panted as he slid out, and he wasted no time in flipping me over again and grabbing the vibrator, which he touched against the tip of my dick, making me scream and jerk up. 

“That's it..” He chuckled, unclipping the ring slowly. “Hold it..”

I nodded shakily, biting my lip hard as I tried not to cum just from the release of pressure. “Frankie, I can't-...not for long..”

“It's alright, beautiful..”

Frank lifted my legs and dove in, lapping his cum from around my hole and pressing his tongue into me as he slid a finger in beside it, rubbing my spot lightly. I bucked up one last time, just sighing in relief as I came, splattering myself and the sheets. Frank grinned and leaned over me, starting to lick the cum off my hips slowly. “That's a good girl, Gee. You're such a good girl.”

I panted shakily, just laying there as Frank cleaned me up. He soon collapsed next to me and pulled me into a hug, nuzzling my cheek. “Holy fuck, I love you..” 

I cuddled up to him, relaxing as I started to come down. “Mm. You're the best, Frankie,” I purred, kissing his chest softly. 

“Nah, I just love you a lot.”

I sat up, running a hand through my hair as I slipped out of bed. Frank groaned softly. 

“Don't go.”

I rolled my eyes. “I'm just gonna clean up and get dressed, dork. I'm not going anywhere.”

I wandered into the bathroom, fixing my hair and washing myself off carefully. Then I went back into the bedroom and slipped on my boxers before climbing into bed. Frank had washed off as well, and was wearing a pair of loose pajama pants. He smiled at me as I sat down next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. “You okay?”

He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek as I nodded. 

“Mhm. I'm fine, tired out. Frankie?”

Frank smiled at me, brushing my hair behind my ears. I swallowed hard and rubbed my sweaty palms against my legs. 

“I wanna tell you. About...stuff..”

He nodded, kissing my temple. “If you get too upset, you don't have to finish,” he murmured, running his hand down my arm and linking our fingers together. “I love you.”

“I love you too..”

 

I told him everything I had told Chris, but with the addition of my second husband’s attempt on my life. I'd left that out before because I hadn't felt ready to talk about it to anyone, but now Frank already knew. 

When I’d finished, Frank dried my tears and pulled me close to him, pressing soft kisses to the side of my head. 

“You're not ugly or a freak or disgusting,” he said softly, running his hand up and down my back slowly. “You're unique and beautiful and I really really love you. I'd never ever touch you like that, Gee. I've never ever wanted to hit you or pin you down or hurt you in any other way. I'll help you with the drinking and I'll help you with the cutting. We’re in this together because I love you, and even if one day you decide you don't love me or don't want to be with me anymore, I'll always be your friend.”

I sniffed, turning my head and burying my face in his neck. “Frankie..” I croaked softly. He smiled and put his hand on my cheek, stroking his thumb over my cheekbone. “I'm here. No more crying, beautiful. It's in the past now and I'm gonna make everything better.”

“You can't,” I mumbled, pulling away just slightly. “Not unless you have a time machine.”

He chuckled quietly and squeezed my hand gently. “I know, I know. I'm still not completely better, and I don't think I ever will be. But I'm gonna make it as better as I can.”

I giggled softly, exhausted now. “That didn't make any sense.”

“I know. Why don't we take a nap? We can have a nice cuddle and maybe we won't be so tired when we wake up..”

I nodded slightly and yawned, slipping down in the bed and wriggling under the covers. Frank wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the back of my neck softly. “Mm. I love you so so much..”

I grunted my agreement, but I was already halfway asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Gee, and poor Frankie...


	25. Part Two - Seven

**G**

When I woke up from our nap sometime later, Frank was sitting up, crying very softly. I scrambled up, stroking his chest and gently trying to comfort him. “Frankie?”

He smiled at me sadly and stroked my hair slowly. “Shh, I'm okay, Gee. I promise..” He wiped his eyes and kissed my forehead. “I um. I just...it made me sad when I woke up and I looked down at you and you looked like such an angel and so beautiful...I can't understand why anyone would want to hurt you.”

I stared at him for a second, sniffing and trying to process all the raw emotion I felt after just that simple statement. 

“F-fuck...I love you,” I whimpered at last, climbing into his lap and curling up in a tiny ball. Frank wrapped his arms around me tightly, burying his face in my neck. “I love you too, little one.” 

After a while, Frank laid down and turned the tv on, bringing me closer to him gently. I yawned and tangled my legs in his lazily, nuzzling his neck. 

“Hm. Nothing good on.”

I pouted sleepily and Frank ran his fingers through my hair slowly. “You're adorable, baby.” 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, stroking his bare chest slowly. He hummed softly and kissed my cheek, flicking through the channels. 

I started to drift off slowly, but Frank shook my shoulder gently. “Hey Gee, stay awake, honey. Or you won't sleep tonight.”

I groaned and nipped at his throat gently as I tried to sit up, getting tugged back quickly. 

“Nuh-uh. I'm getting cuddles and I like it..” 

Frank grinned up at me and I purred, collapsing back against his chest and curling up quickly. 

“Mhm..” 

He traced his fingertips up and down my spine slowly, finally settling on a channel. 

He spoke up several minutes later, humming quietly again. “Chris is moving out. He's got this new boyfriend and apparently they're getting on really well and he wants to go live closer to him..”

I frowned, resting my hand on Frank's slightly defined pec. “But he lives with you,” I mumbled, not realizing how stupid I sounded until after I'd spoken. 

“Yeah, but he can walk around the house mostly on his own now, like to the bathroom and stuff. Not the stairs. He was living with me because he was still having issues with not being able to walk and high pain levels, now he's feeling better, he wants his space.” 

I nodded slightly, but didn't say anything, just watching Frank's face as he talked. I wasn't really listening, lost in thought instead.

I wanted to trust him and give my heart to him and love him with everything I had, I did. But another part of me was telling me it was too fast. He'd yelled at me and sworn at me and I shouldn't be trusting him again this quickly. 

I couldn't stop this argument between the two parts of me. One side told me to leave him and find someone without mental health problems, without the capacity to become that angry with me. But the other side said  _ look at him. Look. That's  _ your  _ Frank. He's never going away, not completely.  _

I jumped when he stroked my cheek slowly. “Whatcha thinkin’ about, honey?”

I kissed his hand softly and traced a circle on his chest with one fingertip. “You. And how much I love you.”

Frank smiled at me softly, running his fingers through my hair. “I'm not convinced that's all you were thinking about, but that's okay. You can keep your little secret.”

He kissed my forehead and I blushed, smiling at him. “Thank you.”

“Always.”

Frank sat up and stretched. “I'm fuckin’ hungry. You want me to order some pizza?”

I froze suddenly, remembering my ‘pizza nights’ with my second husband. “N-no!”

Frank blinked down at me and leaned over, kissing my forehead softly and stroking his hand down my chest to calm me down. “Shh, we can get something else, it's alright..”

I rolled over away from him, my back now facing him. He sighed and kissed the back of my shoulder. “I'll be right back, beautiful.”

Frank slipped out of the room, leaving me curled up, lost in memories. 

 

My husband had liked to get me really really high and/or drunk and order pizza, then force me to kneel on the floor and beg for scraps while he ate the whole thing. If I didn't beg hard enough or I cried, he’d beat me. I had tried to walk away once and I hadn't been able to walk or sit down for almost a week. 

 

Frank crouched down in front of me and I jumped. “Shh,” he hummed softly, stroking the backs of his colorful fingers over my cheek. “Here we go..”

He set a small stack of takeout menus on the bed in front of me, flashing me one of his lopsided smiles. “You can pick whatever you like, Geebear. Are you hungry?”

I nodded slightly, sniffling. Frank leaned over me carefully, giving me a gentle hug. 

“There's nothing to be scared of, honey. I don't know why you're afraid, but I'm sure I won't do it, whatever you're frightened of. I just want to eat some shitty food with you, cuddled up on the couch, and maybe watching a Disney movie or something like that. Does that sound nice?”

I managed a small smile and Frank grinned, kissing my forehead. “Come on, then. Have a look at those menus.” 

I pointed to one of them and he smiled. “Pasta?”

“Mac n cheese..”

Frank chuckled and opened the menu, flicking through it. “They don't have mac n cheese, but they have alfredo sauce, that's kind of like garlic and cheese.”

I nodded slightly. 

“With like penne pasta or noodles?”

I held up two fingers and he kissed my forehead. “Okay. I'll go order. You want garlic bread?”

I shook my head and he sighed, stroking my hair back from my face as he hesitated. 

“Why won't you talk to me, Gee? Are you okay?”

I shrugged and Frank leaned over, rubbing my side slowly. “Oh baby. I'm sorry for whatever made you feel bad. Are you just a little stuck in memories?”

I nodded just a tiny bit, not making eye contact as Frank ran his fingers through my hair. “Let me go order this food and then we can go downstairs and pick a movie, yeah? It'll be fun.”

 ~

Frank smiled at me softly, holding my hand as he walked me into the club. “We have strict policies with our bartenders, and if anyone tries anything on with you, you just find a bouncer and tell them to get that person out, alright?”

I nodded nervously, following him as he pushed one of the frosted glass doors open. “Alright..”

I glanced around the bar and blinked, slowly hugging Frank's arm. It was big, very big. He smiled down at me and leaned over, kissing me softly. “Hey. It's alright. It looks a lot smaller when there's people in here and we usually have at least three bartenders at once. You’ll be fine.”

I nodded slightly just as a door opened next to the bar and a tall man walked out. He wasn't exactly ugly, but something about him made me shift uncomfortably. His hair was slicked back and greasy, as well as peppered with grey hairs. His smile was very very fake. 

“Hi, Frank,” he said with an oily grin. “This must be the lovely Gerard.”

I blinked and Frank smiled. “Yes, this is. He's my uh...my boyfriend? I guess.”

I nodded quickly, grabbing onto Frank's hand again. He looked down at me briefly and grinned. “Good,” he whispered. I smiled nervously and he stroked my hair quickly. 

“Well then you're a lucky man, Frank. Let me give you a tour, Gerard.”

Frank turned me to face him and kissed my forehead softly. “I'll see you soon, okay? I love you and I'll be here to pick you up.” 

I smiled and pulled him into a brief kiss, pressing my lips to his firmly. “I love you too..”

Andy took me around the place, showing me the kitchens, his office, and of course the bar. Every now and then, I caught him staring at me, but shrugged it off as our first customers were starting to arrive. 

 ~

It was a busy night, and quite a few guys flirted with me, but I didn't really mind. They were all a little tipsy and just trying to have some fun, none of them seemed sinister. At the end of my shift, Andy called me into his office. 

I slipped through the door, smiling at him a little nervously. “Was I okay?”

He stood up from behind his desk. “Gerard, you're the best bartender we’ve got. Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow night.”

He patted me on the shoulder and I smiled brightly. 

 ~~~

Mikey hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead. “Hey! What's up?”

I sat down at the table, Mikey throwing himself down across from me. “Well, Frank's been really sweet lately. I think he's trying to make up for...y'know.”

Mikey nodded slightly. “Are you still feeling okay about that? I mean...it sounded pretty scary.”

I shrugged and rubbed one of my eyes. “I don't know, Mikes. It's hard, because I was completely, utterly terrified, and then when he hugged me and told me it was all okay, I just felt better all of a sudden. And like...it’s almost like I wanna trust him less than I do, but I can't.”

Mikey shrugged and sighed. “You're trying to protect yourself, but you've already made that choice for you. You love Frank and you want Frank. So just..let it happen. He clearly loves you, and you love him, it's not...it's not how it was with your marriages. He's not playing a joke because he's just so so into you, it's so freaking obvious, and he's not taking advantage of you because you're in a much better place.”

“What do you mean it's so obvious?” I smiled, tilting my head slightly. 

Mikey rolled his eyes. “Every time I've seen you guys out and about he doesn't let go of you. He always has to be touching you. And if you wander off, he gets this worried look and he keeps a really close eye on you until you get back. It's the way he looks at you, too. Like there's nothing else he'd rather look at, and like he could sit there and do it all day.”

I felt the blush rising in my cheeks as Mikey talked, but it was also making me smile, all these things I'd never noticed about Frank. 

“When that guy came after me in the bar and I punched him, I was kind of like thinking to myself what the difference was between him and Frank looking at me, cause Frank gets kind of...passionate, I suppose. And it was like this guy had been starving for ages and someone offered him like the worst fast food ever, and he was kind of like ‘this will do, cause I'm super fucking hungry.’ But then Frank looks at me like I'm a plate of food from a Michelin-starred restaurant, like he's super hungry, but only because the food looks so good.”

Mikey stared at me. 

“Um. That's a really weird but somehow effective description,” he chuckled at last. “I think you mean that the rando in the bar was lustful looking at you, but Frank is...passionate?”

I shrugged and bit my lip lightly. “Frank can be lustful too, but yeah, I guess.”

Our coffees were brought over and Mikey smiled at me as I sipped mine. 

“Pete loves him, y'know. They're like super best buds already.”

I grinned and shrugged. “Pete will be super best buds with anyone.”

“Nah, but he really likes hanging out with Frank. It's kinda sweet.”

“Also it gives us adults time to talk,” I joked, smiling as I rested my chin in my hand. 

“Yeah, true,” Mikey snorted. “Is Frank fairly childish?”

I shrugged. “Not really, but I think at the moment he's trying to help me, y'know? He's being extra mature because I'm hurting. I think once we kind of settle into our relationship more, he might get a little more childish. In a good way.”

Mikey nodded slightly, grinning at me as Frank and Pete walked up to the table. Frank gently pushed me along the booth and sat down, kissing my cheek softly. “Mm. I missed you,” he whispered, and I felt myself blush. I ran my hand down his thigh, smiling at him as he gently turned my head and kissed me. As we broke away, Pete grabbed Mikey and planted a big wet kiss on him. Mikey groaned and tried to slap him away, wiping his face on his sleeve. “Ugh! Pete, what the fuck?”

“They were doing it,” he grinned. 

“Not like that!”

Frank chuckled and nodded slightly. “Uh, I'm really sorry to cut this short, guys, but I actually gotta get Gerard home, I have a meeting this afternoon and Gee has to go to work in a few hours.”

 ~

I glanced at Frank as he walked me through the front door. “Frankie, you don't have any meetings today..”

He grinned at me and reached over, gently slapping my ass. “I know. I wanted some alone time..”

I giggled and turned, leaning against his chest. “Mhm? Why's that?”

“Because I wanna fuck you raw,” he growled, and I swallowed, feeling my jeans tighten. 

“Oh fuck, Frankie..” 

Frank chuckled softly and scooped me up, grinning as I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him deeply and letting him walk me towards the stairs. 

~ 

I rolled over in bed, coming face to face with Frank. 

“Hey Gee,” he murmured sleepily, brushing a lock of my hair out of my eyes. “Everything okay?”

I nodded slightly, snuggling closer to him. “I love it when you make love to me,” I hummed, feeling his fingers run through my hair. 

“Good. I should do it more often, then.”

I nodded again, burying my face in his neck as he ran his hand up and down my spine. “I feel like there's something wrong and you don't want to tell me what,” Frank said softly, wrapping an arm around me tightly. “Are you feeling okay?”

I shrugged and sniffed a little, pulling away from Frank so I could talk. “Um. We passed this shop on the way home and it reminded me of something..”

Frank frowned and stroked the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “You wanna talk about it?”

I looked away, running a hand through my hair. “I dunno, Frankie..”

He nodded and gently pulled me closer to him again. “It's up to you, baby, but if you wanna talk, I'm all ears..”

I stared at the pattern on the sheets for a while. 

“We passed a sex shop. And it reminded me of the one my ex used to make me go to.”

Frank's fingers slid between mine and he held my hand tightly as he pulled me against his chest, using his chin to keep my head tucked up against his warm skin. He curled up around me protectively, running his thumb over my hand. 

“I used to go there every Friday and all the staff got to test all the products on me,” I said quietly, my voice completely flat. “There were seventeen employees total, and all of them turned up for a Friday morning shift. They filmed it a lot of the time, and emailed it to my husband.”

Frank let go of my hand to hug me tightly. “You're safe now, Gee. And if you don't want me using-”

“It's fine. I like toys,” I mumbled, managing a soft smile. “I'm just not a fan of gangbangs.”

Frank let out a short breath and squeezed me again. “I love you, little one,” he said fervently, kissing my jaw. “And I swear I'll keep you safe.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put two chapters up today because I finished this story yesterday and I kind of want to get it all up now.   
> I will probably do the same thing as I did on my last story and put up some options on the last chapter so you guys can vote on which you'd be more interested in, because I have trouble picking sometimes :)   
> Anyway, please keep reading and commenting! <3


	26. Part Two - Eight

**G**

When I woke up in the morning, Frank wasn't beside me, so I assumed he was getting himself breakfast or something and curled up, flicking through the news on my phone, until a headline caught my eye. 

‘Philanthropist business star caught up in child porn scandal.’

I tapped on it and immediately felt nauseous as a picture of Frank smiling at the camera popped up. “Sh-shit..”

For some reason, the sick fuck who wrote the article had added a link to one of the videos. I couldn't help myself and tapped on it. 

 ~

After I'd finished being sick, I hurried downstairs. “Frankie? Baby?”

He wasn't in the kitchen, the living room, or the dining room, so I ran back upstairs and pushed Chris's door open, glancing around the almost empty room. “Frankie?”

No answer. I slipped in anyway, checking under the bed and in the ensuite. 

I wandered around the upstairs for a while, then went downstairs again and checked his office, trying to find some kind of calendar or something to show me where he might be. If he hadn't seen the article yet, I needed to get to him first. Although with every passing minute that I couldn't find my boyfriend, I became more and more sure that he'd already seen it. 

I eventually gave up and called Chris. 

“Hey, Gerard. How're you doing?”

I took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose as it finally hit me how serious this was. “Chris, some stupid reporter got ahold of Frank's videos. From when he was a kid, y'know? And they posted them online...wrote a whole article about it...I woke up and he was gone, I can't find him anywhere..”

There was a short pause. 

“Fuck,” Chris said quietly, with more feeling than I'd ever heard being put into one simple word. “Um. Shit, I haven't seen him, Gerard, not since yesterday.”

“O-okay. I'll call his secretary..”

I hung up and just as I was dialing the number, my phone rang. I answered it immediately. 

“Mikey? Have you seen Frank?” I asked urgently. “There's this-”

“Article, I know. That's why I called you, Pete found it. I haven't seen him, is he missing?”

“Y-yeah,” I whimpered softly, running a hand through my hair. 

“Fuck...where would he go, Gee? Think..”

I rubbed my forehead, trying to take deep breaths. “I d-don't know. I d-don't know!”

“You still have his file, right? Would he go to the place it happened?”

I sniffed, my breathing starting to get shaky. “Um I g-guess? M-Mikey, I-”

“I'm coming, Gee, it's alright. We’re gonna come help you, I just...Pete's a fucking idiot and I hope you forgive him, but he watched some of that stupid video and he's throwing up..”

“I did too,” I said softly, tears running down my cheeks at last. “I c-can't believe it..”

“I didn't want to,” Mikey sighed, and I heard his keys jangling. “Was it that bad?”

“He was bleeding and like...covered in vomit and cuts a-and..” I let out a soft sob. “It w-was bad, Mikey..”

“Fuck, well, we’re on our way now. You see if you can start thinking of a list of places to check and we’ll go to them, okay?”

“Y-yeah..”

I hung up and called Frank's secretary, but she was completely unhelpful, so I grabbed his file from my bedroom and flipped through it, scribbling the addresses on a separate piece of paper. I bit my lip, going through the names of all of his bars and writing those addresses down too. 

Mikey let himself into the house with his spare key and hurried into the room, pulling me into a hug. “We’ll find him, I promise. It'll be okay.” 

I nodded slightly and tapped one of the addresses. “This is where it happened.”

“Let's go there first, it's the furthest away and we can work our way back. We’ll pick Chris up, okay? Come on. Pete's waiting in the car..”

Mikey helped me up and out to the car, trying to calm me down as he sat me in the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt for me. I was staring straight ahead, fending off images of eleven-year-old Frank crying and screaming. 

I shuddered as Mikey got in behind the wheel, and jumped when he took my hand. 

 ~

The next hour and a half was blurred. I vaguely remembered loading Chris into the car and him trying to talk to me. I remember Mikey blasting my favorite playlist to try and distract me. But that little boy was all I could think of as he begged the cameraman for help. 

As soon as Mikey had stopped the car, I jumped out, running up the porch steps. The building was abandoned and falling apart. It didn't even have a front door anymore. I glanced behind me and gulped. I had to do this myself. I had to go and find Frank. 

I slipped into the house, calling out softly. “Frankie? Baby? Where are you, love?”

I sniffed when I heard nothing but silence in response. I remembered the setting of the video - concrete walls and floors. I wandered around the house, finally finding a door that led to a descending staircase. 

“Frankie?”

I heard footsteps behind me and jumped, whirling around to face Mikey, who held his hands up quickly. “It's just me,” he soothed, offering me a flashlight. I took it carefully and nodded, my heart pounding as I edged out onto the first step. I hated basements. I shone the torch down the steps, trying to scout out what horrors might be hiding in wait. I made my way down the stairs slowly, glad that Mikey was waiting at the top. It felt like I was in a fucking horror movie as I stepped off the last stair and heard water dripping. 

“Frankie?”

I turned around and barely stifled a scream. Frank was laid out on the floor, his back to me. His bloody, scarred, bare back. 

“Frankie!”

I heard clattering footsteps and Mikey ran down, gasping when he saw Frank. I felt frozen, rooted to the spot. I couldn't tell if he was breathing. He wasn't wearing shoes. 

“Frankie?”

I shuffled over and knelt down, touching his side lightly. He screamed, a shrill, ear-splitting noise, and I drew back quickly. “Frankie baby, it's just me. It's Gerard. I love you! I love you..”

I tried to touch him again and he screamed once more, but didn't move. I rolled him over quickly, tears streaming down my cheeks as I checked him over frantically. He was covered in scrapes and cuts, blood smeared on his arms and chest, but none of them looked horribly deep. He was shaking now, his eyes unfocused. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, then slipped my coat off and wrapped it around him, kissing his forehead. “It's okay, Frankie. It's okay. Your Gerard is here, your Geebear. I'm gonna take care of you..”

I tried to pick him up and he screamed once more, this time jerking away from me. I took the coat away and looked at his chest more closely. His ribs were starting to bruise, already showing off a range of hues that had been unnoticeable a few seconds ago. 

“He's broken his ribs, Gee,” Mikey said softly. “We should call an ambulance.”

~ 

I settled Frank into his bed at home, tucking him in and kissing his forehead. “I love you,” I whispered to the unresponsive face. 

He hadn't woken up from his ‘trance’ at all, not even to scream again. Chris said he was just in shock and needed some time. The paramedics figured that he'd run through the woods to get to the house after ditching his car a few streets away, and had gotten into some fights with bramble bushes. He'd tripped and fallen down the stairs of the basement, landing on a solid concrete floor and crushing several ribs. 

Now, I ran a wet washcloth over his face, carefully cleaning away the dried blood and dirt the nurses had missed. “You're my everything, Frankie,” I murmured softly. “I dunno if you can hear me, or if you're paying attention, but I love you. I love you as much as I love my brother. I love you more than almost anything. I need you. Nothing about your past bothers me. I mean...it made me really sad and angry and all, but I don't think any less of you. I don't think anyone really does..”

I looked up as Mikey slipped into the room. “How is he?”

I shrugged, stroking Frank's hand slowly. “Better. He stopped shaking.”

“Good. Chris went out to beat up a reporter. From his wheelchair. I almost feel bad for the reporter.”

I managed a small smile at this and felt Frank shift. He rolled onto his side suddenly and his eyes slipped closed as he fell asleep immediately. 

Mikey smiled at me. “He's getting there, Gee. Pete and I are gonna do a coffee run and maybe pick up some breakfast too. You need anything?”

I shook my head slightly, stroking Frank's thigh slowly. “No, I'm fine..”

Mikey sighed, but didn't say anything, slipping out of the room and shutting the door quietly. I crawled into bed and curled up around Frank, one arm over his waist and his back against my chest. “You're gonna get through this, Frankie...I love you..”

~ 

I woke up to Chris gently shaking my shoulder. “Hey, Gerard,” he said softly. I grumbled something and opened my eyes. My face was still buried in Frank's hair. 

“What?”

“I got the article taken down and we’re gonna sue.”

I nodded slightly and let go of Frank, running my fingers through his hair instead. 

“He's gonna be okay, Gee. Sleeping is good, that's what he needs..”

I nodded again, running the backs of my fingers down his cheek. “I love you, Frankie. I love you..” 

He started to stir and I bit my lip harshly as his lips parted and he let out a soft groan. I kissed his cheek softly. 

“Hey, Frankie. It's your Gee, I've got you..”

I watched him as he stared at nothing for a while. 

“Gee,” he croaked after a few minutes. I rubbed his shoulder slowly. “I'm here, Frankie. It's alright..”

He rolled onto his back with a grimace, watching me worriedly. “Did you watch it?”

I nodded slightly. “I’m sorry, Frankie. I know I shouldn't have.”

He shrugged painfully and tried to grab for my hand. “I'm sorry I freaked out. I must have scared you.”

“Don't apologize, baby,” I murmured, leaning over him and stroking his cheeks slowly. “It's okay. I understand, sweetie, I do. You did scare me, but you're here now so it's okay..”

Frank managed a small smile and I laid down next to him, completely forgetting about Chris as I traced circles on Frank's chest, knowing it calmed us both down. 

“Frank..?”

He glanced up. “Sorry, Dad. I didn't see you.”

Chris shrugged and smiled sadly. “It's alright. Are you feeling okay?”

“I think so. It was just...seeing it out there, and seeing the video again. I had to run. I had to get away. But then Gee came for me and I just wanna curl up with him and sleep it off..”

Chris smiled properly, leaning over to squeeze Frank's hand. “Good. I'll leave you guys to it, then. I think Mikey and Pete are still downstairs, I'll tell them to come back later..”

Chris left the room and Frank looked at me sadly. I kissed him softly, stroking his cheek slowly. “You're safe now, Frankie. I love you, everyone loves you. And it's not a scandal. It's not like you have a basement full of child porn, no one is gonna hate you for being forced to do something horrible. It'll be okay.”

“I dunno how to face everyone, though. Everyone at work and stuff..”

I nuzzled his jaw, rubbing his chest slowly. “They will be fine. They care about you, yeah? I know it's hard when people learn your secret, but it won't last forever.” 

 ~

I washed Frank off gently, careful not to hurt him. “You're so beautiful, Frankie,” I murmured, kissing the backs of his shoulders as he purred. 

“Mm. I love you, Gee.”

“I love you too, Frankie. How're you feeling?”

“These pain meds are a little too good,” he mumbled, leaning back against the end of the tub. 

I chuckled and stroked his hair slowly. “It'll do you good to get some good sleep.”

“I know.”

I smiled at him as he closed his eyes, relaxing completely. I loved seeing him so at ease, it reminded me of how comfortable we were around one another. Frank opened his eyes and glanced at me. “Do I get cuddles?”

“Okay.”

I kicked my underwear away and got into the tub, sitting in my usual spot between Frank's legs. I didn't lean back against his chest this time, however, instead just stroking his thighs and smiling as he sat up, wrapping his arms around me loosely, his chin resting on my shoulder. 

“You, Gerard, are the most stunning thing on this whole Earth.”

I purred softly and bit my lip harshly. Now was not the time to be getting hard. Frank ran his hand down my spine, rubbing just above my tailbone lightly. “Mmm, Gee. Does that feel good?”

I hummed, nodding slightly as his hand went lower, a finger slipping into me suddenly. I gasped and he chuckled, kissing the back of my neck.  

“I bet you can cum untouched from just my fingers..”

I nodded again, grabbing onto the sides of the tub. “Y-yeah..”

Frank nuzzled my jaw, kissing it lightly before plunging a second finger into me and starting to rub my prostate quickly, causing me to moan loudly and rock back against him quickly. 

“F-Frankie!”

“That's it, baby. You're such a good girl, Gee..”

He kept rubbing quickly, gently biting down on my shoulder as I rocked back and forth, trembling already. “Ah! Frankie!” I gasped as he added another finger, still rubbing right over my spot. I let my mouth fall open, my eyes closing tightly as I felt the buildup and came, gasping and falling back against Frank, who caught me carefully, laughing softly. 

“Well done, Gee. Was that good?”

I nodded quickly, smiling breathlessly as he kissed my neck. 

“Thank you, Geebear. I needed that, love.”

I giggled softly and grabbed for one of his hands. “Thank  _ you _ , Frankie.” 

 ~

Frank was screaming. 

I nearly fell out of bed trying to turn the lamp on, and grabbed his shoulder, trying to shake him awake. He caught me with a slap that sent me flying, off the bed and hitting my cheek on the corner of the bedside table on the way down. I scrambled up and turned the main bedroom lights on. 

My cheek was stinging, and I felt warm wetness on my skin. “Frankie?”

He was curled up in a tiny ball under the covers, shaking. I walked over uncertainly, touching his side lightly. “Frankie, it's just me. It's Gerard…”

My voice was squeaky and trembling, betraying how scared I was. He didn't answer, so I pulled the covers away and gently rolled him over. He was crying silently, trying to grab at me as I pulled him into a hug. “Oh Frankie. It's o-okay..”

He buried his face in my neck and I sat down on the edge of the bed, just holding him tightly. 

After a while, Frank pulled away and touched my cheek lightly. “Gee, you're bleeding,” he whimpered, staring at me worriedly. 

“I'm okay,” I said quickly, forcing a smile. “Were you having a nightmare?”

Frank nodded slightly, brushing my hair behind my ears. “But I'm okay now, come on. We gotta clean this cut up, sweetie.”

I smiled sleepily. “I'm getting deja vu.”

Frank chuckled and helped me up off the bed gently, wrapping his arm around my waist as he walked me into the bathroom. “Mhm. Are you okay, Gee, really? You know I didn't mean to hit you, right?” 

I nodded and smiled at him. “I know, Frankie, don't panic. I'm okay..”

I leaned back against the counter as he cleaned the cut carefully, then kissed my forehead. “I'm gonna need to put a couple stitches in, Gee.”

I blinked. “You know how to do that?”

Frank smiled sadly. “Well, I kind of had to learn. I had a first aid kit in the basement, but they couldn't be bothered to do it for me..”

He bent down and pulled a kit out from the cabinet under the sink, setting it on the side and opening it carefully. He washed his hands again and picked out two small packets, one with what I assumed to be special thread, and the other with- 

_ Fuck.  _

A needle. 

_ What the fuck did you expect? _

Frank shifted closer to me and I jumped away from him, shaking ever so slightly. 

“What's wrong?” He frowned, reaching out to pull me closer. 

“N-needle..”

He set it down and gently pulled me closer to him again. “Mhm. I forgot, I'm sorry.”

I buried my face in his shoulder as he hugged me tightly. “But either I do this or I take you to the hospital and they do it..”

I shivered and nodded. “O-okay..”

Frank pulled away from me and smiled, stroking my hair. “Alright..”

He washed his hands and the cut again, then picked up the needle. “Close your eyes, baby..”

I grabbed onto his shirt tightly, squeezing my eyes shut. 

“Try to relax, honey. I know it's hard.”

I felt the pinch and whimpered, but Frank hummed to me softly as he worked. “Shh, love. Shh. No need to be scared, sweetie.”

I felt a gentle tug and he hummed again. 

“That's one. You're doing so well, baby. I'm so proud of you.”

I sniffed as I felt the needle go in again. My hands were shaking badly, my fingers twisted in Frank's shirt. 

“I love you, Geebear. So much. You're so strong, baby. You're amazing..”

I heard a quiet snip and he stroked my cheek gently. “All done..”

I opened my eyes and flung my arms around him, hiding in his shirt as he rubbed my back slowly. “It's okay, Gee. All done. You wanna go back to bed?”

I nodded quickly and Frank scooped me up as if I weighed nothing, quietly carrying me to bed and laying me down gently. “I love you,” he murmured, kissing me softly before laying down with me and turning the lights off. 

 ~

I woke up to find myself completely naked on the bed. “Frankie?”

Frank laughed and slipped in from the bathroom. “I'm here, baby, sorry..”

I smiled at him as he walked over and leaned down, kissing me softly. “Gee, I wanna talk to you about something.”

I sat up quickly, noticing his serious tone as I pulled a blanket over me to cover my crotch. He sat down next to me, folding his hands in his lap. 

“Um. So, my past relationships...the ones before you the first time...they were really bad because I was trying to be a bottom, y'know? Um. And my history made that really uncomfortable for me to do, causing flashbacks and just generally not enjoying myself much. And um...I was actually thinking about buying you a strap on before...but you don't need one now, and I was thinking..”

“Yes, Frankie,” I said softly, turning his head to face me. “If you want to.”

He nodded quickly, nervous. “I want to. I want to trust you with that and share it with you.”

I kissed him briefly, stroking his hair back from his face. “I'm not working tonight, baby, so I'll be here when you get home from work.”

Frank smiled slightly and I kissed the side of his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Frankie..” 

~ 

Frank climbed into bed with me, completely naked as he snuggled up to me. I hugged him tightly, kissing his jaw. “Are you ready?”

He nodded slightly. “I prepped myself,” he said almost confidently, but his voice was shaky. 

I smiled and gently rolled him onto his back, climbing up onto his hips. “I've never done this before, Frankie..”

He shook his head, handing me a condom. “It's not hard.”

I giggled and leaned down, kissing him briefly before rolling the condom over myself. “Uh...I don't know how to find your prostate and all that..”

“Think about where yours is and go from there. It takes a few tries.”

I nodded and gently lifted his hips, kissing him one more time. “Okay. You okay?”

Frank smiled slightly and stroked my cheek, his thumb brushing over the cut lightly. “Yes, honey. Fuck me like you mean it..”

I chuckled and lined up, pushing into him carefully and slowly, biting my lip as he whimpered under me. “Tell me to stop if you need to..”

As soon as I stopped worrying about him and focused on what I was doing, I let my head roll back. “Ah! Shit...this is...this is so good..s-so tight..”

Frank's colorful fingers found my shoulders and he pulled me down into a kiss. “F-fuck me, Gee!”

I bit his lip gently and started a fast pace, quickly needing more and beginning to slam in and out of him, moaning loudly and shakily. I suddenly felt him slap my hip and stopped. He was shaking, he head turned away. 

“Frankie? Baby...shit, was I too rough?”

He shook his head slightly and took a deep breath. “Just...bad memories.”

I turned his head to face me and kissed him firmly, rolling my hips up into him in a slow, deliberate rhythm as I ran my hands up and down his still bruised sides. “Mm, Frankie,” I purred against his lips. “You feel so good, baby. So so good. That's it,” I murmured as he relaxed, managing a small smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Gee..”

I looked down into his soft, loving eyes and came, shuddering. “Oh G-God, I'm sorry..”

I pulled out, flustered by my early orgasm as I quickly slid down and took Frank into my mouth and all the way down my throat. 

“Oh! Fuck, Gee...it's o-okay, honey. I...ah! You're so  _ fucking  _ good at that..”

He completely forgot what he was trying to say and I smirked to myself as I moved up and down on his cock, one hand massaging his balls while I slipped two fingers into him, finally finding his prostate and rubbing it gently. He bucked suddenly and I swallowed, purring happily. 

I rocked back onto my knees and Frank pulled me down on top of him, thrusting into me with only my spit for lube. I arched my back and quickly tried to lean back, tried to get him balls deep in me, but he pulled me back gently. 

“Shh, Gee. I just wanna cuddle like this..”

I blinked, confused as Frank rolled onto his side and pulled me closer to him. My eyelids fluttered as I felt him slide deeper into me, but I didn't make a noise. 

“I just wanna be as close to you as possible,” Frank mumbled, burying his face in my chest and hugging me tightly. 

 ~

I woke up some time later and slid off Frank, walking to the bathroom quietly and starting to run a bath. I didn't hear his footsteps, and jumped when his arms wrapped around me, but I relaxed quickly and giggled as he grabbed one of my ass cheeks, squeezing gently. “Fuckin’ hot,” Frank growled softly, grabbing my waist roughly and pushing me against the bathroom counter. “Spread your legs..”

I closed my eyes to calm my breathing down. Frank's hands were on my sides. My loving boyfriend was being a little rougher than usual, but he  _ loved  _ me. I spread my legs and he reached around, grabbing my balls as he pushed into me, all the way into me in one movement. I gasped softly, glad he'd used plenty of lube as he squeezed my balls lightly. “Fuck, you're just too...fuckin’ hot to resist..”

He bit down on my neck gently, letting go of my balls before pulling nearly all the way out and slamming back in again, shoving my hips against the counter painfully. I cried out and Frank quickly pulled out, rubbing my hips gently. “You okay, little one?”

I nodded quickly. “Uh. I k-kind of liked it,” I mumbled sheepishly. Frank gently turned me to face him. “Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you.”

I nodded and opened one of the drawers, pulling out the big vibrator. I waved it in Frank's face, giggling before pushing it into myself and handing him the remote. “Here..”

I grabbed the cock ring from the same drawer and clicked it into place. Frank stared at me, practically drooling as I leaned back over the counter, wiggling my hips. “Fuck me.”

“Gee, are you sure, it'll-”

“I like pain.”

Frank growled in his throat, unable to resist anymore as he grabbed the lube from the drawer. I heard him uncap it, and a few seconds later, Frank started to push into me slowly, next to the thick vibrator. I whined loudly, biting down on my lip as I took the stretch, my body trembling a little. Frank turned the vibrator on on low and I completely forgot about the pain, quickly rocking back into him. “F-Frankie!”

He moaned quietly, his fingernails digging into my hips lightly as he started to thrust desperately, turning up the vibrator and causing me to squirm. “Mm, Frankie,” I groaned, grabbing onto the edges of the counter. “I could cum right now..”

He chuckled breathlessly and slammed into me with a grunt. “Mhm? You don't get to..”

I cried out and lost all capacity to think as he turned the setting up again and started fucking me as fast and hard as he could. I barely felt him sliding in and out as I squirmed, almost trying to get away from the incessant, overwhelming pleasure. I felt a sudden warmth in my insides and Frank shuddered, pulling out of me and watching his cum run down the backs of my legs. “Fuuck.”

I straightened up, rutting against the cabinets for friction as I whined and whimpered. Frank chuckled and wrapped his arm around my stomach, turning down the vibrator, but leaving it on. “Get in the bath, I'll be back.”

I climbed into the bath carefully, shuddering as I laid back. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but tensed again as I felt something close around my cock. “Flesh light,” Frank grinned, climbing into the tub and crouching over my thighs. “Here..”

He turned the vibrator almost all the way up and I screamed out, thrusting up into the sleeve Frank was holding. “Mhm. Good girl, Gee..”

He gently rolled me onto my side, starting to thrust the vibrator in and out, forcing me to thrust back and forth into the sleeve and onto the vibrator. 

“F-Frankie!” I gasped, grabbing onto his arm. “I g-gotta cum! S-so bad!”

“I know, baby, but your Frankie is enjoying himself too much.”

I whimpered softly, digging my nails into his arm and letting my eyes roll back. 

“You look so beautiful, Geebear..”

Frank slowly lowered the settings on the vibrator until it was off and kissed my cheek. “That's it..” He removed the sleeve and vibrator before lifting me up gently. I sat in his lap happily, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely as he lined up and pushed into me quickly. “Mhm. You are so perfect,” Frank purred, kissing my neck softly before carefully removing the cock ring. “You can cum whenever and however you like..”

I grinned and pushed him down, sliding off his cock and standing up on my knees as I jerked off in his face, moaning and whimpering happily as his hand came up and he pushed three fingers into me. “Mm, Frankie..” I hummed happily. “I love you..”

“I love you too,” he purred, and I came all over his face, watching in satisfaction as my cum slid down his pale skin. 

“All mine,” I growled, kissing his lips and grinning as I tasted myself on him. 

“All yours,” Frank repeated softly, hugging me tightly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more drama and smut for you guys. There is more drama to come, but the next chapter starts setting up for the happy ending, so I think you'll like that :)


	27. Part Two - Nine

**G**

“Happy birthday week, baby!”

I groaned, gently trying to bat Frank's hands away. 

“No, baby, you gotta get up! I've got a huge surprise for you!”

I rolled out of bed, landing heavily and stumbling against Frank's chest. He caught me easily, chuckling softly as he wrapped his arms around me. “You're drunk!”

I giggled and leaned up, kissing him softly. “On your love.”

Frank wrinkled his nose. “Jesus that stank of cheese.” But he grinned and slipped his hand into mine, walking me out of the bedroom. “You get to be one year away from the same age as me now.”

“Gross, I'm almost an old man,” I laughed, and he smacked the back of my head gently. 

“Don't disrespect your elders.”

“Whatever.” 

Frank led me into the kitchen, squeezing my hand gently and kissing the side of my head. Plates of waffles and strawberries with cream were laid out, my favorite breakfast, and he walked me over to them. In front were two tickets. I frowned slightly, picking them up. 

“Canada? Tonight? Frank, you're going nuts, we can't-”

“We can,” he interrupted gently. “I've already cleared you with Andy, and I've done my best, but I may have to do a few conference calls while we're there. But I wanted to take you somewhere cold, because you like snow...and Switzerland isn't so cold this time of year...anyway, it's this place called Whitehorse and it's kind of in the mountains and we get to have this really nice cabin all to ourselves in pretty much the middle of nowhere, and-”

I grabbed him and kissed him, giggling softly as I pulled away. “God! You don't shut up when you're nervous, Frankie!” 

He sighed and shook his head. “I know, I'm sorry..”

“Frankie don't be stupid. It's cute. And this is amazing, Frank. I love you.”

I pulled him into a hug and he kissed the side of my head, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “I love you too, Gee. It'll be a treat for both of us anyway. I need to get away from things for a while.”

I nodded and leaned against his chest slightly, letting out a happy sigh. “I need to get some winter clothes..”

“Yep, I haven't forgotten,” Frank hummed. “After you've had your special breakfast.”

I grinned and kissed him again, pulling him closer to me. “Mhm. Can't wait.” 

 ~~~

Frank helped me with my bags carefully, smiling at me as I kicked at the snow with a giggle. “Come on, baby, let's get inside and find your snow clothes.”

I nodded and followed him quickly, smiling to myself happily as Frank pushed open the door. I grinned, glancing around. A fire was raging in the fireplace, a couch in front getting nice and toasty. 

There wasn't much of a downstairs, with a tiny living room, a small kitchen, and a bathroom with a large tub. There was a large loft area, however, with a huge, snug-looking bed and another bathroom, this one with a shower. 

“Oh Frankie..”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. “Is it okay? It's kind of cosy.”

I hugged him tightly, purring happily. “It's perfect, Frankie. Absolutely perfect. I love you.”

“I love you too, little one. What do you wanna do?”

I glanced around and yawned. “Well, I think I need a nap.”

Frank sighed and stroked my cheek slowly. “Yeah, you were more than a little stressed, huh, baby?”

I nodded slightly, looking down. “I hate flying.”

“But we're here now, yeah? If you want a nap I’ll come and join you.”

I nodded again and yawned, slipping off my coat and sweater before tugging my snow boots off and kicking away my jeans. I crawled in under the covers and curled up happily, purring as the bed dipped and Frank pulled me close. I buried my face in his colorful chest, running my fingertips up and down his ribs slowly. 

“I love you, Frankie. So so much.”

“Mhm. I love you too, little one. Get some rest.” 

 ~~~

Frank gently shook me awake. “Gee! Baby, wake up, it's your birthday!” 

I sat up quickly, giggling and pulling Frank into a soft kiss. He chuckled, running his fingers through my hair and gently helping me out of bed. “You're excited, huh?”

I nodded and leaned against his chest, yawning. 

“Well, I'm sorry honey, but all your presents are at home, so you're gonna have to wait until we fly back tomorrow for those, so we’re gonna have a really nice day before we fly. We’re gonna go to Yellowstone and see some cool wildlife and then we’re gonna have a nice meal and a relaxing evening. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect, Frankie..” 

 ~

I collapsed onto the couch, tugging off my boots and smiling as Frank hung his coat up, walking into the kitchen. 

“Frankie? Are you coming?”

“Just a minute, honey. You stay there a second.”

I hummed to myself, unzipping my coat and getting up to hang it up. I curled up on the sofa again, watching the flames dancing in the grill. I heard footsteps and looked up. Frank was smiling a little nervously, holding two glasses of champagne. 

“Frankie, baby,” I murmured softly. “I can't have alcohol..”

“It's not, sweetie. It's fizzy grape juice,” he soothed, sitting down next to me and handing me the glass. 

“Thank you, Frankie.”

I leaned over and kissed his cheek softly. “I've had the best birthday.”

Frank gently took my hand and took a deep breath. “Geebear...I've done some research...and if you want to, you can get your surgery reversed…kind of. You'd have more basic female anatomy, but...it would look more like what you had before. Um. If you want it, I will pay for it.”

I stared at him for a few seconds. “Wh-what?”

Frank smiled slightly, brushing my hair behind my ears. “Gerard, honey, you're my everything. You're my whole world. And I need you to be happy. I want you to be happy. I loved you the way you were, I love you the way you are, and I know I’ll love you the way you'll be, if you decide on a surgery.”

I blinked and kissed him softly. “I need to think about this, Frankie. A lot.”

He nodded quickly and stroked my cheek gently. “I know, honey. I don't need an answer just this second, I just wanted you to know that I'm here to support you in whatever you want.”

I smiled and climbed half into his lap, but he gently pushed me away, his hands shaking slightly as he set his glass down. I frowned, biting my lip, feeling like I'd done something wrong. Frank stared into the fire for a few seconds, then stood up and turned to face me. “Gerard. I have loved you for nearly eleven years now, and I swear my happiest day was finding you again. You're so so important to me, I can't imagine losing you or-or not spending the rest of my life with you.”

Frank knelt down, producing the ring box and popping it open. But I wasn't looking at the ring. I was staring into his beautiful eyes. 

“Gerard Arthur Way, my beautiful, unique, and warm-hearted intersex boyfriend...will you marry me? Because I really fucking love you..”

I stared at him for a few tense seconds, then burst into tears, shaking as Frank quickly climbed onto the sofa to comfort me. 

“Gee? Oh god, I fucked it up...I'm sorry, Gee..”

I grabbed his jaw and kissed him, tears dripping off my chin. “Yes,” I murmured against his lips, then giggled softly. “Yes! Of course I will...I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Frankie.”

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, burying my face in his neck as he started to laugh, rubbing my back slowly. 

“Oh fuck, Gee. You scared me, honey..”

I pulled away and wiped my face with my sleeve, giggling. “I'm sorry..”

My smile faded and I sighed, looking at him sadly. He kissed my forehead. 

“I promise I won't change. I promise I'll love you and cherish you forever. You're gonna be my wife or husband or whatever you wanna call yourself, and I'm gonna be by your side for the rest of your life, loving you and holding you.”

I sniffed, a fresh round of tears running down my cheeks. “Third time lucky?” I whispered, with a tiny smile. 

Frank grinned and stroked my cheek slowly. “Yeah. Look, Gee. I know this is scary, sweetie, and I just want to say that I understand and I need you to be open with me. If you're feeling a little smothered or trapped or frightened, you gotta tell me so we can figure out a way to change things or move past it. You're not gonna offend me, because I know this relationship is gonna take some work. On both sides. But we can do it, together.”

I smiled and cuddled up to him, purring softly. “Mm. I love you, Frankie..”

He stroked my cheek slowly and smiled down at me. “Do you want the ring now?”

I blinked and giggled. “I forgot all about it.”

Frank handed me the box and I grinned. It was a silver band with a fairly large inlaid diamond with one purple stone on one side and a yellow stone on the other. 

“Frankie, it's beautiful.”

“It's got the intersex colors on it, is that okay? I mean, you're more than just a label, but I also want you to remember that I love you for you-”

“You're babbling, baby,” I giggled, slipping it on and kissing him briefly. “It's absolutely perfect. And so are you.” 

 ~~~

Frank walked me to bed, his arm around my waist. The trip home had been even more stressful, and I felt a little woozy. “I love you,” Frank murmured as he helped me under the covers. “Get some rest.”

I yawned and curled up, smiling at him tiredly. 

“But my presents..”

Frank laughed and shook his head slightly. “Of course. Definitely more important than rest. How about I bring them to you and you can rest while you open them?” 

I nodded and he kissed my forehead before hurrying off and coming back with a big bag. I rolled my eyes and sighed. 

“Frankie, it's-”

“Your birthday,” he said quickly. “And I love spoiling you. Really. You're not making me do anything.”

“I know, but..”

Frank placed one of the packages in my lap firmly. “Happy birthday, Gee.” 

I sighed and waited until he climbed up to sit next to me before tearing the paper off and staring at the box. 

“Frankie, I..”

“Is it the right one? The one you wanted?”

I tapped the camera box lightly. “Frankie, this was like-”

“Yes, it cost money,” Frank smiled, kissing my cheek. “But is it the one you wanted?”

I nodded quickly and hugged him tightly. “It's perfect, Frankie!”

The next few packages were lenses and other accessories for the camera, so I quietly started to unpack my new toy. 

“I did take it out and charge it,” Frank hummed, rubbing my thigh slowly. 

I fitted a lens on and leaned away from him, giggling softly as I pointed the camera at his face. “Will you let me take a picture of you?”

Frank sighed loudly, but grinned at me. “It is your birthday.”

I laughed and snapped a few photos, then looked through them. “Ooh. Look how cute you are..”

He pulled a face, but kissed my cheek softly as I packed the camera back up carefully, setting it aside. 

Frank handed me another package, humming softly. This one was squishy. I opened it eagerly and squealed. “Ohh!”

It was a stuffed cat, just like the one Frank had given me when I’d been in hospital before. 

“I realized you didn't have yours anymore so I thought I'd buy you a new one and you could have him as a buddy if you decide to have surgery.”

I hugged it tightly and Frank ran his fingers through my hair slowly. “You are adorable,” he murmured as he pulled me into his chest, then grabbed a large brown envelope from the bag and handed it to me. 

“Here.”

I frowned, but opened it carefully, sliding out pictures. 

“They're all locations,” Frank said quietly. “Ideas for the wedding. I thought you might like to start thinking about it. You like planning things, right?”

I blinked and nodded slightly. “I never got to plan my others. Never really had proper ceremonies..”

I flicked through the pictures, staring at the stunning venues. 

“Gerard, when this new club opens next month, about six months after that, I will be a millionaire. Do you understand? I want you to have the perfect wedding, because you deserve it and I love you. So we can book anything, buy anything, you can have a dress or a tux or both.”

I stared at him for a few seconds. “A millionaire? Seriously?”

“Yep,” he grinned, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You must be a gold digger.”

I rolled my eyes and nuzzled his jaw. “I love these pictures, thank you, Frankie.”

Frank smiled and wrapped his arm around me tightly. “I'm glad. I have one more for you, but I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow. I think you need some rest.”

I nodded slightly. “I am exhausted.”

Frank slid out of bed and cleaned up quietly, then undressed and climbed back into bed with me, laying down next to me and looking up at me, his elbow against the bed and his cheek resting in his hand. “Have you thought more about surgery?”

I sighed and slid down, curling up with my head on the pillow, facing Frank. 

“I guess? I have an appointment to discuss options tomorrow. I think I'd like to do it, but only really if they can do what I want. I'm not that unhappy with myself, but I guess...sometimes I don't feel like myself. Y'know?”

He nodded slightly, stroking my cheek. “I think I know what you mean. I just want you to feel as comfortable and happy in yourself as possible.”

I smiled and shifted a little closer to him. “Will you come with me?”

“Of course. What time is it?”

“Nine.”

“M’kay. I've taken the day off work tomorrow, but I need to be back the day after.”

“Mm, so do I,” I sighed quietly. 

“Oh well. I suppose we have to be adults sometimes.”

 ~~~

I sat down in the small office, holding Frank's hand tightly. The surgeon was reading over my files, blinking occasionally. 

“Wow. Okay, so...you were forced to get your previous surgery, yes?”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah. I was happy with myself, because I identify as non-binary. The whole thing going on-” I waved a hand at my crotch vaguely. “Down here worked for me.”

The doctor tapped his pen against his bottom lip lightly. “Hmm. Well. I don't think it would be too difficult to get you fairly close to where you were before. I'd probably have to remove your testis, though, so I’d need you to have an endocrinologist check you out first and get you on the right dosage of testosterone. And then I can give you fairly regular labia, I can open your vagina again without widening it, and I can leave you extra tissue around your clitoris. Buuut, I can't easily change where your urethra comes out. So you'd probably still kind of pee from your clit? Messing around with the urinary tract too much can cause huge, huge problems..”

I nodded slightly and sighed. “Okay..”

“Well, actually..” The doctor tapped his pen again. “I could probably just remove the head of your penis and use that. That would look more natural. Yeah, that would work. Does that give you a better idea of what you're looking at? I know it's hard to process so much info in one go.”

I glanced at Frank, who flashed me a brief, slightly confused smile. “Actually it sounds like exactly what I want,” I grinned, and Frank squeezed my hand gently. “I still have to think about it, obviously, but I'm a lot happier.”

 ~~~

Pete couldn't stand still.

Mikey looked a little worried. “Are you sure about this, Gee?”

I nodded quickly, then sighed. “Not entirely, no. But I'm sure about Frank. He's like...he's the...it sounds so cheesy and cliché, but he's ‘the one’ for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and I just gotta see it as a nice party where we make a promise to love one another. It's gonna be hard, but Frank knows that and he's willing to work on it.”

Mikey smiled and pulled me into a brief hug. “Then congratulations, big brother. I really think you've pinned down a keeper this time.”

I blushed and Pete grinned at me. “Are you gonna wear a dress?”

I blinked and shrugged. “I hadn't thought about it..”

“You could,” Mikey pointed out, smiling at me. “Frank would go nuts. He loves you in dresses.”

I sighed and bit my lip lightly. “But most dresses will have all the cups in and stuff...none of them will fit.”

Pete shrugged as Mikey sipped his coffee. “So? You could get it altered.”

“And you could get a tux to dance in later,” Mikey hummed. “So you'd have kind of...both.”

I giggled softly and bit my lip lightly. “I wonder if I could get Frank in a dress..”

Pete nodded enthusiastically. “He'd look really great in one..”

Mikey glanced at me, and I nodded. 

“I like the idea of having both, and I think Frank would like it..”

Pete grabbed my wrist suddenly. “Gee! We passed a bridal shop when we walked down here! You should go try something on..”

“Pete, we haven't even set a date yet..”

“But it would be fun,” Mikey shrugged. “You could send a picture to Frank.”

I bit my lip and sighed, nodding slightly. “Alright.”

 ~

Frank grabbed me as soon as I walked in the door, kissing me deeply. I giggled and leaned against him. 

“Frankie?”

“I loved that picture, baby,” he purred softly. “God, you looked so beautiful and sexy in that dress..”

I blushed and kissed the underside of his jaw as he let go of me and stepped away. I blinked and took a step back. 

“Holy fuck.”

Frank was decked out in perfect pale pink lingerie, with stockings and thin panties showing the outline of his dick, and a tight corset top. He even had a little pale pink leather collar with an attached heart charm around his neck. I felt my jeans tighten and swallowed hard. “Oh.” 

Frank picked a present-wrapping plastic bow off the table and took the backing off, sticking it to his chest and giggling nervously. I couldn't help but laugh, rolling my eyes. 

“Come on, Gee...don't you wanna unwrap me?”

I shook my head slowly and Frank suddenly looked uncomfortable. 

“Oh, shit! That's uh...not what I meant,” I groaned softly. “I meant I wanna take some pictures of you first. If that's okay. You just look so...perfect.”

“I did get waxed.”

I laughed and walked over, kissing him softly. “Mm, and I'm looking forward to finding out where exactly, but I really wanna take some pictures of you looking so stunning. Please?”

Frank nodded slightly. “But don't-”

“I'm not showing them to anyone, I promise,” I hummed as I slipped past him and ran up the stairs. When I walked back down with my camera, Frank was sitting on the couch. I snapped a couple pictures as I walked up, then directed a few more angles before nodding to myself. “You'd be a perfect underwear model, baby.”

Frank grinned. “You're biased.”

“Yep.”

I set my camera down in a safe place and slipped my shirt off, then unbuttoned my jeans and shoved my hand down into my pants, watching Frank as he rolled onto his stomach. 

“Mm. Someone's eager. Come upstairs.”

 

I plopped down on the bed with Frank, kicking my jeans and boxers away, briefly grinning as I remembered how far I’d come in trusting and feeling comfortable around my lover. 

I felt his hand against my sensitive ribs and he handed me the end of a leash, the clip of which was firmly attached to the ring on his collar. “I'm all yours tonight, Gee. It's that other present.”

I knew I was blushing, so I leaned over and kissed him softly. “I need this more often.”

Frank giggled and sat down next to me, rubbing his hand up and down my thigh. “Mhm. Me too. I like being submissive with you.”

I purred and guided his hand to wrap around me. “Mmm. Fuck, Frankie. You look so hot in that..”

He grinned and kissed me, stroking me slowly. “Gee...I have another couple surprises for you..”

I blinked and frowned slightly. “What's that?”

“You have to unwrap me to find out,” he smirked. I rolled my eyes and kissed him again before starting to unlace the corset carefully. I slipped it over his head and rubbed his chest slowly, kissing and sucking at his collarbones lightly to mark his pale skin. 

I hooked my thumbs around the waistband of the panties and he stood up, letting me slide them down just enough for his cock to spring free. “Ohh, shit..”

Frank was wearing a thick silver cock ring. He bit his lip and looked up at me with feigned innocence. “Tonight is all about you. I cum only when you let me.”

I felt a little precum leak from my tip and groaned softly. “Fucking hell.”

He turned and showed me his ass, the almost 4-inch thick dildo buried deep inside him. 

“Jesus.”

Frank giggled and arched his back, and I'd had enough teasing. I grabbed him and threw him down on the bed, climbing onto his chest. “You gotta do everything I want, right?”

Frank nodded and grabbed a pair of thickly padded handcuffs from under a pillow. I grinned and clipped them onto his hands, the chain wrapped around an upright bar in the headboard of the bed to restrain him. He groaned softly and rolled his hips up into the empty air. 

I growled and grabbed onto the headboard, lifting myself up and lowering myself down over his face. He purred happily and lapped at my entrance as I lowered myself more comfortably, settling on my knees. Frank pushed his tongue into me, wasting no time as he licked and lapped at my walls happily. I came almost immediately, so turned on by Frank's submissive state that I couldn't hold it any longer. I quickly wiped myself off and flipped Frank over, growling as I grabbed the end of the dildo and started to fuck him with it roughly, ignoring his soft cries as I pumped myself quickly, desperate to get hard again. 

“Pull it out..” Frank groaned softly. I frowned, but did so slowly, and bit my lip as it kept coming, tapering off into a long end. I dropped the rubbery thing on the bed, watching Frank's muscles shift. 

“Jesus. That's like...two feet long..”

Frank rutted against the bed lightly. “Y-yeah..” 

I laughed softly. “How long have you had this in?”

“Since you went out this morning..”

“That's like...three hours..”

Frank nodded slightly and shifted his hips. “I could feel it inside me the whole time..”

“Mhm? And did you like it, Frankie? Hmm? You're such a little sub..”

He tensed suddenly and then relaxed slightly. I gently turned him over to face me, kissing his forehead. “Everything okay?”

Frank nodded slightly, flashing a brief smile. “I just thought you were gonna call me a slut.”

I frowned and combed my fingers through his hair slowly. “But that would be untrue,” I murmured softly, kissing his cheek soothingly. “Because you love to fuck me, but only me.”

Frank relaxed a little more and I unclipped the handcuffs, setting them aside as I leaned down and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me a little looser, but buried his face in my neck. “Mm. Gee, I'm sorry..”

“Shh, Frankie. It's okay..” I shifted to lay down with him without letting go. “We can have a cuddle break.”

“But it killed the mood,” Frank whimpered softly, digging his nails into my back. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. That goddamned video kept popping up in my mind, and I couldn't help but squeeze Frank tighter. 

“We can get it back. No biggie,” I hummed, cradling the back of his head with one hand. “Just try to relax, Frankie. Is this too much too soon?”

He sniffed and I sighed, rubbing his back slowly. “M-maybe..”

“Alright. Again, it's not a big deal. I like this and it's fun and sweet and I love the fact that you trust me enough to let me do these things to you, but I also really really love it when you pin me down and hold me close and make love to me, Frankie. It feels so fucking good..”

“Y-you're just saying it to make me feel better,” he mumbled a little childishly. I shook my head and sighed softly. 

“No, sweetie, I'm really not..”

I let go of him carefully and started cleaning up around him. “Shh, Frankie. Close your eyes for a minute.”

He sniffed and shook in the middle of the bed, suddenly looking tiny as I tidied the sex toys away and gently pulled his panties and stockings off before unbuckling the collar and slipping it off his neck. I hurried into the bathroom and wetted a couple of washcloths with warm water before returning to Frank. I gently wiped him down, pressing light kisses to his skin and wiping down his chest slowly. He liked his chest being stroked, and I knew it always calmed him down, so I kept dragging the warm washcloth down, humming to him softly. 

“I love you, Frankie. So so much. We both have problems, yeah? And it's okay for you to need a break or a cuddle sometimes. I understand, I'm not offended, and you haven't ruined anything. In fact, I'd rather you weren't upset, but this is kind of like bonding time in a way.”

Frank sighed and rolled onto his stomach. “I feel like shit.”

“In what way?” I asked softly, wiping myself off and slipping a pair of pajama pants on before gently helping Frank into a pair of boxers. 

“I fucked up your birthday surprise and it's worse that you're not upset. You should be angry with me.”

“Would it help?” I pressed quietly. “Would it solve anything? And Frank, sex isn't...it's not the be all and end all to me. It's like...a really nice bonus. I'd honestly be happy doing nothing but cuddling for the rest of our lives.”

I laid down on my stomach next to him, rubbing his shoulders. “Frankie, love, I understand why you're upset. I do. I hate it when I try to surprise people and it goes wrong. But it's okay, really. You've given me a wonderful birthday and all I really needed from you this year was a hug and...well, the ring is kinda nice.”

I giggled and Frank sighed, turning his head to smile at me uncertainly. I leaned over and kissed him softly. “Mm. My handsome, strong, kind fiancé. I love you..”

 ~~~

The water shifted around us and I leaned my head back against Frank's shoulder. He was scrolling through Facebook and I was half asleep, tired out from a long day of not doing very much. 

“Fuck.”

I opened my eyes, but Frank pulled his phone out of my view quickly. 

“Frankie? You okay?”

He sighed and nodded, kissing the back of my neck as he set his phone aside. “Yeah. Some idiot wrote another article on me and they were talking about you. That's all.”

“I wanna read it!” I grinned, reaching for his phone. Frank pulled me back immediately, shaking his head. “It wasn't very nice, Gee.”

“I still wanna see!”

He turned my head to face him, sighing again. “Gerard, look at me. Leave it alone. Please. For your Frankie, I need you to not look at it.”

I huffed quietly. “What am I supposed to do to distract myself?”

Frank chuckled and gripped my thighs, looking up at me as I turned so our chests were touching. “I'm hard and we’re in the bath.”

I scrambled for the lube and as soon as Frank slid into me, I relaxed against his chest, purring happily. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, one hand running up and down my back as he started to thrust slowly and deliberately, right into my prostate. I whined softly and rocked back lightly, burying my face in his neck. 

“I love you, Gee…”

I pressed myself closer him, letting him slide in as far as he could. 

“Are you making love to me, Frankie-boy?” I giggled softly, and he nodded quickly, pushing up against my prostate again slowly. 

“Y-yeah...and it's f-fucking great.”

I rested my forehead on his, letting the whole thing unfold naturally until I came all over his stomach and he thrust up against me as his cum spilled down my hips. 

Frank gasped softly and smiled up at me, pulling me down into a gentle kiss. “Fuck, I love you.”

I grinned and nuzzled his jaw, kissing at his skin lightly. “I love you too, Frankie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope this was alright, and the right level of cute :)


	28. Part Two - Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a fairly strong mention of SH in this chapter. If you need to avoid it, you can skip the 3rd and 4th paragraphs, I'll add a summary of those two in the end notes.

**G**

Frank was at work and I was scrolling through Facebook while I waited for him to get home, and for my snack to finish in the microwave. Nothing particularly interesting came up on my feed, until I found that article. I sighed. 

Frank didn't want me looking at it, but I had to know. I tapped on it. 

 

_ Frank Iero, the nearly millionaire who was caught up in a child porn scandal last month has gotten engaged. Unsurprisingly, he's chosen someone as broken as he is. Gerard Way has been married twice before, both of which were abusive marriages. He's described as intersex, but presents as male. These two men are clearly unsuited for each other, and it is doubtful whether their marriage will last.  _

 

I stared at my phone screen for a while, then just let the phone slip out of my hand, dropping onto the floor. 

_ Fuck.  _

_ Maybe they're right. Maybe Frank agrees. What if he didn't want me to see it because he wants to leave me?  _

_ I'm not right for him. I should stop being so selfish. _

Before I really knew what was happening, I had a knife in my hand and was staring at it, turning it over in my fingers. 

_ Frank probably hates you now.  _

I stifled a sob and tightened my grip on the handle until my knuckles were white. 

_ It'll take the pain away… _

 

I was in the process of getting drunk when Frank got home. 

We didn't have much alcohol in the house, but Frank liked to have a little whiskey occasionally. 

“Gee? I'm home...where are you, baby?”

I was sitting on the kitchen floor, my back against the cabinets as I took another swig from the bottle like it was just water. He stepped into the kitchen and stopped. 

I looked down at myself, at the blood crusted on my arm and smeared on my clothes. I burped. 

Frank closed his eyes for a few seconds and I braced myself for shouting. Instead, Frank walked over to me and knelt down, gently wresting the bottle from my hands. “Shh, Gee,” he murmured when I tried to protest. He stood up and tipped the rest of the bottle down the sink, ignoring me swearing at him from the floor. Even in my state, I knew not to threaten him. 

Frank set the empty bottle down and walked over to me, lifting me up and dragging me all the way upstairs and into the bathroom while I giggled and hiccupped. He dumped me in the tub and I squealed. 

“Frankie! Dirty boy!”

He turned the shower on and I screamed as the cold water splashed over my face. I tried to scramble out, but he kept pushing me back in.  

“Jesus Christ, Gerard! Just sit the fuck down and sober up!”

I shrank away from him when he snapped at me, quickly pressing myself against the wall, as far away from him as I could get. Frank sighed and got up, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it with warm water. He crouched down by me again and held his hand out. “Here, give me your arm.”

I shook my head fervently and he gritted his teeth. “Gerard, come on.”

“Y-you don't w-want me anymore..”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “You read the stupid article, didn't you?”

“Y-you think they're right..”

Frank's eyes snapped open. “Fuck no!”

I flinched and he sighed quietly. 

“No, Geebear. I don't think they're right, I think they're fucking idiots and I love you and I'm gonna marry you and spend the rest of my life with you because I fucking love you.” 

He grabbed my arm and started wiping away the blood carefully, kissing my skin every now and then. “I love you, you stupid fuck..”

I sniffed and reached over, turning the shower off and curling up. Frank smiled at me sadly. “You wanna cuddle?”

I sighed and tried to get up, but he gently pulled me back. “I haven't finished.”

“But I gotta go to work..” 

“No, I'll call you in sick, baby. I think you've lost a fair amount of blood, you might be a little woozy..”

I sighed and started to wriggle my wet jeans off, kicking them away from me. “I'm sorry I disappointed you, Frankie.”

“Yeah, well. It happens. You're an addict, Gerard, and you’ll slip sometimes. I understand that. I'm not angry with you or disappointed, not really. I'm just worried about you, love.”

He leaned over and helped me with my shirt, then stood up and half lifted me out of the tub and handed me a towel. I wrapped up quickly, swaying slightly, then stumbled past Frank and into the bedroom. I dried off and grabbed some clean pajamas, slipping them on before Frank's arms wrapped around my waist. “C’mere, beautiful,” he hummed, kissing my neck softly. “Let's go lay down and watch some tv.” 

 ~~~

Frank rubbed my side slowly. “Gee?”

“Mhm?”

“Are you feeling better today, sweetie?”

I nodded slightly and yawned, feeling Frank's fingers run through my hair slowly. “That's good. Do you remember what today is?”

“Frank, baby, I barely remember what my name is right now, I just woke up.”

He chuckled and kissed the back of my neck softly. “Today is your surgery, sweetie.”

I blinked and curled up a little tighter. Frank shifted slightly and leaned over me. “You okay?” He asked worriedly. 

“I'm kinda nervous,” I mumbled, and he stroked my cheek slowly. 

“Mhm. Imagine how I feel,” he pointed out, and I smiled softly. 

“I'm just scared it won't turn out how I want.”

“I know, sweetie, but this doctor seems fairly confident he can do it, and I think we just have to trust him. Okay?”

I nodded and sat up, kissing Frank quickly. “Okay. I gotta go shower.”

“Mm, okay. I'll go make breakfast.”

 ~

Frank was holding my hand when I woke up, stirring groggily. “Hey baby. Lay still for a minute,” he soothed, stroking my hair. “You've been out for a while..”

I grunted and opened my eyes, smiling up at him sleepily. He kissed my forehead softly. 

“There's a lot of swelling and stuff, but it all looks good, sweetie. They want to keep you overnight, though, because you have to have a catheter in.”

I nodded slightly and squeezed his hand. “Are you staying with me?”

“Of course,” Frank smiled, stroking my cheek with his spare hand. 

I started to relax a little more and my eyelids started to feel very heavy. 

“It's okay,” Frank said softly, stroking my hair back from my face. “Shh. Get some more rest, it's good for you..”

~~~ 

I tangled my fingers in Frank's hair as he knelt down. I was sitting on our bathroom counter, my hands shaking slightly. 

“It's alright, baby,” Frank murmured, starting to unwind the bandages slowly. “Shh. Try to relax, it's alright.”

“But-”

“No, Gerard. No buts.”

I sighed and shifted as Frank finally finished, setting the dirty bandages aside and handing me a mirror. 

“It looks perfect, baby..”

I titled the mirror at an awkward angle and gasped softly. “Shit...it is perfect..”

Frank rubbed the inside of my thigh lightly, grinning up at me. “There's still some swelling to go down, but it looks good..”

I nodded, blushing as I set the mirror aside. “I love you, Frankie...thank you..”

He stood up and pulled me into a gentle hug. “Anything to make you happy, beautiful.  _ Anything. _ ”

I giggled and buried my face in his neck, sniffing softly. He rubbed my back, then pulled away carefully. “Come on. I gotta wrap you up again, okay?”

I nodded and slipped off the counter, standing while Frank carefully rewrapped the bandages, kissing my stomach when he was finished. “There. Just a couple more weeks and you'll be fully healed.”

I grinned, leaning into his chest as he stood up, kissing my forehead. “Mhm. I'm gonna fuck you silly.”

Frank laughed softly and hugged me tightly, rubbing my side lovingly. “God, I hope so.”

After a few seconds of just standing in happy silence, Frank nuzzled the side of my head. “How're you feeling? I know you haven't had the best time these past few weeks..”

I frowned slightly, pulling away and leaning back against the counter. “What do you mean?”

Frank sighed. “Well, with the article and planning the wedding and your surgery...you've seemed really stressed. I just wanna make sure you're doing okay and I'm doing everything I can to help.”

I smiled slightly, folding my arms over my chest. “I'm over the article thing, really. I'm still angry at myself for how I reacted, but I'm over the words, y'know?”

“But Gee, it's like we talked about before...when I don't take my meds, it's like you getting drunk. We’re different people. And it makes it harder to resist things, like hurting yourself or drinking more or losing your temper..” He stepped forward, rubbing my shoulders. “We're vulnerable, Gee. And something hurt you, so you retreated into something else. It's not always something you can control. And what would you have done if I was there?”

I sniffed, rubbing my eyes and looking away from Frank's intense gaze. “I would have gone to you.”

“Mhm. So next time you call me, baby. Right? You're taking steps in the right direction, you just gotta take a few more. Alright?”

I nodded slightly and he kissed my forehead softly. “What about the wedding? How can I help with that?”

I shrugged, smiling at him. “It's mostly done, the venue’s booked, the florist...all that stuff. We need to do cake tasting at some point, but that's both of us. And you need to get your tux, I need to get my dress and tux. So I guess...we gotta start looking at bakeries together and you need to get your clothes. That's about all you can do. I'm gonna go shopping with Mikey and Pete next week. Who's gonna be your best man?”

Frank blinked and chuckled, shaking his head. “I dunno how you do all of this, Gee. But it's gonna be Chris..”

I nodded slightly. “M’kay. Then he needs a tux too. Will he be in a chair..?”

Frank bit his lip lightly. “Uh, no I think he’ll be okay to walk down the aisle and all that, but we might need a chair for him during the ceremony.”

“Okay, so like, sitting down next to you?”

He nodded and I smiled. “That's easy. You should find a nicer walking stick though, his is kind of beaten up.”

Frank grinned and pulled me closer to him gently. “Yep. No problem.”

I giggled and rubbed his chest. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you are so adorable when you're planning all this. It's so cute to see you so excited and so into it..”

I blushed and kissed his jaw. “I want it to be perfect. For both of us.”

Frank rested his forehead on mine, closing his eyes. “The only way it'll be perfect for me is if it's everything you've ever wanted.”

I tilted my head and kissed him softly, his hand coming up to cradle the back of my head as he kissed back deeply. 

 ~~~

Mikey pushed his glasses up his nose and Pete grinned at me. 

“I like this one..” I hummed, running my hands over it. The beading on it was subtle, but beautiful, in swirls and flower patterns. It was fitted around my waist and hips, but flowed out nicely, not too huge of a skirt, but not flat either. There were tasteful straps, which would help with my lack of chest, but weren't too distracting and complimented the low back nicely. 

Mikey shook his head. “We're going home now. No more shopping.  _ That  _ is perfect.”

I blushed and ran a hand through my hair slowly. “Do you think Frank will like it?”

Pete shrugged. “It doesn't matter. He loves you, and anything you wear will be perfect. Especially if he can tell that you love it.”

I nodded, turning back to the mirror and smoothing the fabric down lightly. “Oh God...I'm getting married again. Oh fuck.”

Mikey got up and walked over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You're getting married to the right man this time.”

I sniffed, smiling as the consultant carefully helped me put the veil on. I fiddled with the ends of it, tearing up as I stared in the mirror. Mikey rubbed the small of my back lightly, smiling at me. “I hope those are happy tears..”

I nodded quickly, blinking and letting them roll down my cheeks. “Y-yeah. I just wish Frankie was here to share this with..”

Mikey chuckled softly. “Well, me and Pete are here, and Frankie gets to have a lovely surprise instead.”

I blinked and quickly hugged him. “I'm sorry, Mikey, I didn't mean-”

“Oh, I know, it's okay. I understand missing Frank.”

I kissed his cheek softly, pulling away and drying my eyes with a tissue. “I love you, Mikes. And you too, Pete. Thank you so much for coming with me and helping me pick stuff..” 

Mikey shrugged, smiling at me. “I'm just glad we get to be at your wedding and that you're gonna be so happy.” 

I sighed and looked down. “I just hope it works out long term.”

Pete walked over, rubbing my shoulder gently. “You've been dating Frank for three times as long as you dated ‘he who shall not be named’ already, and the wedding is still four months away.” 

I bit my lip softly, and Mikey nodded. “I know, it's still hard to shake. But everything will be fine. Come on, let's get this dress off and go and find some nice shoes.”

I giggled softly, relaxing a little. “I better not get heels or I'll be waaay taller than Frankie.”

Pete chuckled and Mikey rolled his eyes. 

“No, I'm serious!” I laughed, taking the veil off carefully. “He’ll get all defensive about it..”

Mikey grinned at me. “Yeah, I know how that goes. We’ll look for flats..”

I nodded and suddenly shifted. “Are Mom and Dad…?”

Mikey's face fell and he swallowed. “Uh, they don't...they don't wanna come, Gee. I'm...I’m sorry, sweetie.”

I took a deep breath and smiled. “I'll be fine. Let's go do some more shopping. All I need is Frank and you guys.”

 ~

Frank pulled me into a hug as soon as I stepped through the door. “Hey, baby! How was shopping?”

I kissed his cheek, leaning into his chest. “Good, Mikey and Pete are holding onto everything for me.”

He leaned back, cupping my face in his hands. “Why do you look sad?”

I blinked and sighed softly. “Uh. My parents aren't coming..”

Frank sighed and kissed my forehead. “Okay...how about you come in and I make you a cup of tea and we sit down and have a talk about this? Hey? Would that make you feel better?” 

I nodded quickly and he smiled, pecking my lips. “Go put some pajamas on, you look tired..”

 

When I walked downstairs, Frank was waiting for me on the couch. I smiled at him sadly and sat down, curling up against his side as he handed me my mug. “Did you have a nice day, though?”

I nodded. “Mhm. We got a dress, a tux, my shoes...I bought heels, but they're really small..”

Frank chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair. “Okay. I think I'll have to get platforms in my shoes.”

I kissed him softly before taking a sip of my tea. “Mm. I like you the way you are.” 

He rested his hand on my thigh lightly. “Good. Now what's going on? You haven't really mentioned your parents since we've been back together.”

I sighed and bit my lip lightly. “They uh...they were angry with me when I got married the first time, and then I showed up at the house massively drunk a few times and they kind of told me not to come back until I got sober. When I got married the second time and I was sober, I reached out to them and they were furious that I'd gotten married again, especially so soon. Mikey tried to talk to them for me when he went to see me in hospital, but they wouldn't listen to him. So I guess...I think they just think I'm an idiot and I rush into everything. Like...I'm a lost cause?”

I sniffed and Frank rubbed my thigh slowly. “You aren't rushing into anything here, we’ve been letting this happen slowly and working it out. You're not a lost cause, either. You've been doing so much better, I've been really proud of you. If they can't see past what's gone before and support you, then they're silly.”

I rubbed my eyes and Frank wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. “I know, but they're my parents..”

“And you're gonna miss them. I know..”

Frank stroked my hair back from my face. “I wish my parents could be at the wedding...but I know they're watching somehow..”

I smiled at him sadly and he nuzzled my cheek. “We’ll be okay, Geebear. We have each other..”

I nodded and purred softly. “I love you, Frankie..”

“Mhm. I love you more,” he teased gently, rubbing my thigh again. I shook my head. 

“Nuh-uh,  _ I _ love you more!”

“Well I love you most.”

I glared at him playfully and he chuckled, kissing me softly before pulling me up and into his lap. 

“Gee...you're so pretty..”

I blushed, smiling as he slid his hand underneath me, starting to rub through my jeans. I quickly leaned down and kissed him, stroking his cheeks as he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down enough to get his hand inside, rubbing at me slowly. I purred and rocked into his hand lightly, sitting up quickly and leaning back a little. Frank grabbed onto my hip with his spare hand as he slipped the other inside my now soaked panties, grinning as he pushed one finger into my vagina and two into my ass. I gasped happily and rocked against him lightly, panting a little. 

“Mm, Frankie..” I moaned softly, wanting more and knowing that if I turned him on enough, I'd get it. 

He growled softly and I felt my stomach tighten. “Fuck, Gerard..”

Frank threw me down on the sofa, climbing over me and slipping his shirt off, tossing it aside. He ripped my blouse open and threw it halfway across the room, then unbuttoned his jeans and wriggled them away with his boxers. “So fucking hot,” he muttered, starting to rub me again as he leaned in, pushing his tongue into my smaller entrance. I whined softly and grabbed a fistful of his hair as he suddenly ran his tongue up, all the way over me, and I bucked up. “Shit..”

Frank sat up, grinning at me and rubbing my thigh slowly. “Baby?”

“Mhm? What do you want me to try?”

He blushed slightly and chuckled. “Uh...have you ever tried sixty-nine?”

I frowned and shook my head slowly. “Isn't that hard?”

Frank shrugged. “I've never had a chance to try it. But I could be on top...or you. I don't mind..”

I felt my cheeks heat up and bit my lip lightly. “Um. Okay. I'd like to try it..”

He nodded and kissed me softly. “Slap my hip or say stop any time.”

I gave him a thumbs up and he shifted quickly, his hips hovering above my face as he lapped at my small dick. 

“Mm, Frankie..”

Frank hummed and slowly lowered his hips. I opened my mouth quickly and relaxed my throat, letting him all the way in. I took his balls in one hand and rested the other on the small of his back, starting to suck, lick, and massage. 

He was soon gasping, plunging his tongue into me and fucking me with it. I slid my spare hand down, pushing a finger into him and starting to rub his prostate. He got the message and started doing the same for me. Before long, we were a hot, sweaty mess on the couch, fucking each other's mouths enthusiastically. 

Frank came first, warning me quietly and then grunting as he spilled down my throat. I arched my back, swallowing just as my orgasm washed over me and I bucked my hips again, then shuddered and lay still. 

Frank climbed off me carefully and scooped me up, carrying me towards the stairs as he grinned down at me lovingly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was okay for you guys. It's the last chapter tomorrow!
> 
> Summary: Gerard is worried the article is right, gets drunk. When Frank gets home, he forces him to sober up and tells him it's not true.


	29. Part Two - Eleven

**G**

I spun around in the dress, giggling as I marveled at how well it fit. Mikey grinned at me, rubbing my back lightly. “You look absolutely stunning, Gee.”

I blushed and bit my lip lightly. “You think so?”

Pete wandered over and smiled at me. “You are perfect.”

I felt my cheeks get darker and shifted a little, looking down at my nails. They were gel French tips, with a little silver sparkly line in between the pink and the white. I hummed softly. “Just need m-makeup..”

Mikey glanced at me worriedly. “Gee, hon, are you okay?”

I sniffed and looked at him, my eyes wide. “I don't know..”

He frowned and walked over to me, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “Gerard, everything is alright. I know it's a big day and you're nervous, but Frank is out there waiting and he loves you so so much.”

I stepped back away from Mikey, unzipping my dress and letting it fall to the floor. “I-I...I d-don't know..” I muttered, shaking my head as tears ran down my cheeks. All I could think of was my second husband and his stupid smiling face as he'd signed the papers. 

I grabbed a shirt and sweatpants, running into the bathroom and slamming the door, locking it quickly. I slipped the clothes on over my underwear and curled up in the corner, burying my face in my hands. 

I could feel the belt around my neck again, and a dull, throbbing pain from the scar in my chest. 

“Gerard!” Mikey called out, knocking on the door. “Gee, come on out, hon, please!”

I didn't answer him, pushing myself further into the corner and hugging my knees. 

 

_ “First night,” he grinned at me. “We gotta consummate this.” _

_ I groaned softly and crawled into bed. “I'm tired, and I drank too much champagne, let's just sleep.” _

_ His face changed and he grabbed a handful of my hair, dragging me over to him. “I  _ **_said_ ** _ , we have to consummate our marriage.” _

_ I gasped, staring up at him and shivering. “Y-you're hurting me..” _

_ “I don't give a fuck, Gerard. Because you're my husband now, which means you're my bitch. You have to do everything I tell you to.” _

_ “But-” _

_ “The only but I wanna hear about is yours, get undressed!” _

 

“Gerard, baby. Open this door, sweetie, please?”

This voice was softer and gentler. 

“Come on, honey. I love you so much. Can we have a chat..?”

“N-no,” I whimpered quietly. Frank hesitated. 

“Gee, I can't leave you on your own this upset. I just can't. I'm gonna have to get the door open.”

“No..”

“I'm coming in, Gerard,” Frank insisted, still in his kind voice. 

He slammed against the door and I squealed, pulling my knees up and burying my face in them before folding my arms over my head. It took a few tries, but Frank busted the door open, flying through and kicking it shut behind him. He stood there for a couple seconds, his chest heaving. 

Then he knelt down in front of me, rubbing my shin slowly. “Hey, baby. Do you need a cuddle?”

I nodded quickly and scrambled over to him, climbing into his lap. He hugged me tightly, nuzzling my neck. “Oh baby,” he hummed as I started to sob, trembling all over. “Shh, I've got you. Cry it all out..”

Frank held me patiently, just running his hand up and down my back slowly as he rocked me slightly. I started to calm down after about ten minutes, relaxing against his chest as he combed his fingers through my hair. “I love you, honey.”

I sniffed and clung to him a little tighter. “I l-love you too..”

“I know, sweetie. Are you getting flashbacks and things? Bad memories?”

I nodded and he pulled away enough to look at me, one hand cradling one side of my jaw, his other arm still around my waist. “Gerard. I think you're beautiful and perfect and stunning just the way you are. I don't want you to change. I don't expect you to do everything I ask you to. I don't expect you to be a perfect husband. I don't want you to be my slave, I want you to be my equal. I want to work at things with you, and constantly improve our relationship. I want to have kids with you, I want to have a full, long, and happy life with you. We have something special, Gerard. And I'd never hurt you..”

I sniffed, nuzzling his hand shakily as he smiled sadly. 

“Gee, if you can't do this today, then we can-”

“I want to!” I gasped softly, grabbing at his chest. “Oh Frankie, I want to so badly!”

Frank stroked my hair back from my face. “Then don't let fear get in your way.”

He rested his forehead on mine, his arm around my waist drawing back as he grabbed one of my hands, lacing our fingers tightly. We both closed our eyes and I leaned into him slightly. 

“Gerard, you are gonna do this with me. Mikey is gonna walk you down that aisle and I'm gonna be right there waiting for you. I'm gonna hold your hand and kiss you and then we’re gonna go sign some papers. After that, it's just a big party. There's nothing to be frightened of. I'm sure you're gonna look fantastic, and the church is beautiful, baby. All the flowers and everything...you did an amazing job, baby. I'm so excited to stand up there with you and get married to you. Are you ready?”

I nodded slightly. 

“Are you ready?” Frank repeated a little more firmly. 

“Yeah..”

He pulled me into another hug, kissing the back of my jaw. “Good. Come on, let's get you up. You need to get dressed and everything..”

I nodded, stumbling against his chest as we stood. Frank chuckled, catching me carefully. “Let's go do this thing..”

Pete slipped in and gently ushered Frank out as Mikey pulled me out of the bathroom. “Oh, sweetie. Your hair needs fixing and we gotta do your makeup. Okay? You feeling better?”

I nodded slightly and he kissed my forehead. “I threw a bit of a wobbly on the day I married Pete, too. I got really scared and uncertain, but I went through with it and it was the best day of my life. This is the best decision you've ever made, Gee.” 

~

I held onto Mikey's arm tightly as he walked me through the church doors. I looked down the aisle, my stomach doing somersaults as I smiled at Frank a little weakly. He was staring at me in what seemed like shock, his mouth open wide. Chris gently nudged him and he grinned, shaking his head slightly. I climbed up the steps and stood in front of him, shifting nervously. Frank purred softly. “You are so so beautiful, Gerard. I'm so lucky.”

I blushed and smiled at him, biting my lip lightly. 

Pete walked up with the rings and smiled at me while the minister said something about greeting people. I was too busy staring into Frank's eyes to listen. 

Frank leaned over and took one of the rings, sliding it onto my finger slowly. “Gerard, you are the light of my life and my entire world, and I really don't care how cheesy that is. I promise you that I will be a loving husband, I will always treat you as my equal, and I will be by your side through everything that we might have to endure. Neither of us is perfect, but we make a perfect pair. I love you.”

I sniffed, taking a deep breath and trying to even out my breathing as I took the other ring and slid it onto Frank's finger. “Frankie, I have no idea where I'd be without you. I-I...I can't imagine ever being without you, and with this ring I promise you that you'll never be without me. No matter what happens, be it good or bad, I'll be there to hold your hand. I love you.”

Frank smiled, his eyes filling with tears as he leaned over and wiped my cheek gently. 

“You may kiss..”

I giggled softly as Frank tugged me close, kissing me desperately as I melted against his chest, clinging to the lapels of his suit. 

~

Frank rested his hand on my thigh, chatting to Chris about something as I finished my dinner. He glanced at me suddenly and I frowned slightly. “Everything okay?”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. “Just checking on you. You feeling okay?”

I nodded slightly, leaning into him. “Mhm. A bit tired.”

“Oh, I know. You’ve cried a lot today..”

I giggled and rolled my eyes, humming as he slipped his arm around my waist. “But it's all worth it, because I get to call you my husband.” 

Frank chuckled and nuzzled the side of my head. “Mhm. And I get to call you  _ my  _ husband.”

I grinned and pulled away from him gently, then glanced around. “Is Chris okay? He looks tired..”

“Yeah, he's been walking a lot this morning, it took a lot out of him. He’ll be fine, but I think Ryan is gonna go get his wheelchair in a minute.”

I looked down the table and smiled to myself. Chris and Ryan were holding hands, Chris's head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“They're cute. I'm glad he came.”

Frank smiled, rubbing my thigh slowly. “It makes it a little easier on us too.”

I nodded and leaned into him again, turning as Mikey tapped me on the shoulder. He kissed my cheek and smiled at me. “You okay?”

I blushed slightly. “Everyone keeps asking me that...I miss Mom and Dad, but I'm alright.” 

He nodded and brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Well, you look beautiful and I loved your vows.”

I giggled softly and shrugged. “They weren't very formal.”

“No, but neither are you and Frank. I liked that they were personal.” 

“Thank you. I wrote mine like last night..”

Mikey rolled his eyes and smiled at me. “Well, they worked. Are you and Frank gonna go cut the cake?”

I blinked and nodded, nudging Frank gently. “Baby..”

He nodded and stood up, following me over to the huge cake. We cut it together, posing for the photos despite the fact it made my skin crawl, and soon everyone was eating cake. Frank and I sat back down and I picked at my slice uncertainly. 

“Gee?” 

I looked up into my husband’s worried eyes. “Oh, I'm just a bit full,” I smiled softly. “That's all. I liked my dinner too much.”

Frank chuckled and stroked my back slowly, putting a bite on his fork. 

“No,” I said quickly, already knowing where this was going. “We're in front of tons of people..”

“Mhm. And it's our wedding,” Frank grinned, bumping the fork against my lips. I rolled my eyes and took the bite delicately, leaning into him as I swallowed. “Mm.”

“That good?”

I nodded and tried to stifle a yawn. “Mhm. I gotta go change.”

“Alright, I'll wait for you.”

I slipped off my chair and Mikey got up quickly, taking my arm as he walked me out of the hall. 

“Ugh,” I mumbled. “It was so hot in there.”

Mikey nodded slightly, rubbing my shoulder as he led me back towards the bride’s area. “Yeah. You and Frank looked all loved up, though. Are you enjoying yourself?”

I giggled and shrugged. “I don't really like parties, Mikey. The food is nice but I kind of just wanna go home and cuddle.”

He chuckled and squeezed my shoulder gently. “You gotta do some dancing first.”

“Oh God.”

“Mhm. All you really gotta do is sway, though.” 

I nodded slightly, humming as I unzipped my dress, glancing over the stockings, silky panties, and lacy white corset I'd put on for Frank and I later. 

“Y’know, I actually feel really good,” I said to Mikey, slipping my grey slacks on and buckling the belt. “I thought I'd be um...y'know. Upset or not feeling good or apprehensive, but I just feel like...happy and excited.”

Mikey nodded, handing me my light purple shirt. “The first week will be the worst for you, I think. But once you get over that, you'll feel better.”

I hummed, buttoning it up and tucking it in. “Yeah, and past consummating it. Cause..”

I glanced at him and he smiled sadly.

“I know. But Frank is different.”

I sighed and nodded. “Maybe I shouldn't have the lingerie..”

“No, Gee,” Mikey said quickly. “You wanted to wear it and it shouldn't make a difference. He should treat you the same.”

“I know, but-”

“Just put your tie on, Gee. Frankie’s waiting for you.”

I sighed and obliged, quickly clipping my bow tie on and then slipping on my jacket. I swapped my shoes over and followed Mikey back to the hall. They'd all moved into the dancing area and the lights had been turned down, music playing loudly. I found Frank quickly and grabbed onto him, a little uncertain. He smiled lovingly and wrapped his arms around me, leaning forward to talk in my ear. “We’re doing one slow dance and then we’re leaving in the limo, okay? Mikey, Pete, and Chris are gonna stay and keep the party going for a while, but my knee is killing me and everyone's tired.” 

I frowned slightly. “Your knee? I didn't think that bothered you anymore..”

“I twisted it last night, that's why. I'll be fine, I just need to rest it.”

I nodded and heard the music change. Frank grinned at me and wrapped his arms around me carefully, resting his forehead on mine as we just swayed to the music, too wrapped up in one another to care about anything else. Just as the song was almost over, I felt hands on my shoulders, pulling me away from Frank. I blinked, whirling round to give whoever it was a black eye and stopped. Mom smiled at me sadly. “Hey, Geebear.”

~

I sat half in Frank's lap, watching my Mom suspiciously. Mikey was sitting next to me, leaning forward with his forearms resting on his legs. 

“I don't get it, Mom,” he said quietly. “You told me you didn't want to come over and over and you come late and miss the whole thing?”

She sighed and shook her head. “I was here for the ceremony and then I stepped out for a while.” She looked at me and Frank's grip on my waist tightened slightly. “Gee, I'm sorry, hon. Your dad...he didn't want to come and he told me not to...we’re getting a divorce and I just wanted to be here for you. I know I should have come said something to you, but I heard you were upset and I didn't wanna make it worse. Can you forgive me?”

I sighed and Frank's spare hand moved to rest on my leg, rubbing my thigh slowly. “Yeah, Mom. I guess.”

I heard a knock on the door and looked up. “Come in.”

The door opened and Chris wheeled himself in, smiling at me. “The limo’s ready, guys..”

“Thanks Dad,” Frank smiled, standing up and gently pulling me with him. “I'm sorry, Mrs. Way, but we'd better get going.”

I nodded and leaned against Frank lightly. “I'll speak to you soon, Mom..”

Frank and I followed Chris out to the car and Mikey jogged after us, kissing my cheek before I got in. “I'll see you tomorrow, big brother.”

I grinned and hugged him tightly. “Thank you so much, Mikey. You're the best..”

I got in quickly and waved as the car pulled away. 

~

Frank tossed me down on the bed, growling softly as he gently pulled my tie away. I shifted uncomfortably, blinking away memories and trying to take deep breaths. Frank hesitated and looked down at me worriedly. “Baby? Are you okay, beautiful?”

I rolled onto my side and he ran his fingers down my ribs slowly. “Oh, sweetie. It's okay. Come on...we don't have to..”

“I w-want to..”

“Okay..”

He slipped off the bed. “How about we undress separately? Would that help?”

I nodded quickly and shifted, managing to wriggle my shirt and slacks off, then unclipped the garters and peeled my stockings off. I felt Frank looking at me and blushed. 

“You went to so much effort for me,” he purred, walking back to me and reaching down in between my legs, starting to rub me slowly. I gasped and arched my back as he started to unlace the corset. Before long, he was tossing it away and slipping my panties off instead. I blushed, rolling my hips up into the sudden cold air. Frank grinned and leaned over, kissing me softly. “Let's just do this nice and simple.”

I nodded, watching nervously as he tore open a condom packet and started to roll the condom on. 

“Frankie..”

He paused and looked at me. “Yes, sweetie?”

I blushed deeply, not sure why, and cleared my throat. “Will you make love to me?”

Frank smiled sadly, noticing the cracks in my voice. “Of course. I'll make love to you nice and slow and then we can curl up in a nice bubble bath and relax.”

I smiled slightly as he climbed over me, gently lifting my legs. I pulled him into a kiss as he pressed into me, his hands on my shoulders. “Mmn, Gee..” He moaned softly against my lips, coming to a stop as soon as all of him was inside me. “You're so perfect..”

Frank started to move slowly, rocking back and forth against my prostate as he nibbled at my neck, leaving a trail of hickies down my chest as I arched my back up, letting out a soft whimper. 

“I love you, Gee, God I love you..”

He moved back up, kissing my jaw and smiling down at me as he started to thrust a little faster and deeper. I let my eyes roll back and my mouth fall open as I moaned quietly, gently grabbing onto his arms. “Mm. You have trouble talking when I'm doing this to you, huh?” Frank smirked, stroking my hair slowly. I nodded slightly, gasping as he changed angles to hit my prostate more directly. 

“Good, I like seeing you so...enraptured.”

I whined quietly and Frank hooked his arms under mine, lifting me up as he sat back onto his knees. I leaned against his chest, using it to help me keep the rhythm as Frank shifted to sit with his back against the headboard and his legs out in front of him. He thrust up to meet me as I came down, smiling as he placed one hand on my back just below my shoulders, the other just above my ass. “Mm. I love you..”

Frank swirled his tongue around my nipple as I kept rolling my hips, letting out a soft noise with every thrust up from Frank. “Ah..”

“Mm, that's it,” he murmured, rubbing my back as I started to speed up. “You pick the speed.”

He gently bit down on my nipple and I slammed my hips down, whimpering loudly. “Frankie!”

“Are you close, honey?”

I nodded quickly and he purred. “Me too..”

He bit down again lightly, grunting softly as he thrust up to meet me a little harder. My orgasm hit me like a train and I fell against Frank's chest limply as he finished inside me with a soft moan. He hugged me tightly, nuzzling my neck. “I love you so much, husband. Was that how you wanted it?”

“Perfect,” I mumbled, exhausted. Frank grinned against my skin and pulled out of me, then rolled me off his chest carefully. “Lemme go run that bath..”

Frank wandered off and I heard the tap turn on, so I got up quietly and started cleaning up some of the discarded clothes on the floor. 

“Hey, honey, you can leave those,” Frank murmured from the doorway. “I'll clean in the morning, lovey. Come on. You look like you're about to collapse.”

I stumbled over to him and he walked me into the bathroom, an arm around my waist. He helped me into the frothy, lavender and rosemary-scented water, then handed me a plastic champagne glass filled with what I presumed to be the non-alcoholic stuff. I took a sip and blinked. Frank smiled at me, kissing my forehead. “Just one won't hurt.”

I nodded slightly and he slid into the bath behind me, holding his own glass. “I love you, Frankie.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder as I sipped my champagne with practiced restraint. After about half the glass, I set it aside and dragged myself up, curling up in Frank's lap. He chuckled and set his glass down next to mine, pulling me closer into his chest. “You are my everything..”

I purred and closed my eyes, basking in the feeling of absolute and total contentment. I was curled up in a hot bath with my favorite bubble bath in the arms of the man I loved and married, and in that moment, I couldn't think of anywhere better to be. 

Frank pulled me close, burying his face in my neck and rocking me slowly as my eyes started to close up and I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the happy ending :) <3  
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting and enjoying this story!   
> I will put up another chapter this evening with summaries of all my next fic ideas for you guys to vote on like I did last time. I have tons of ideas and it would be nice to know which ones you guys are more excited about, so please please check it out for me.   
> Thank you!   
> Logan <3


	30. Summaries for Voting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to put up some little story summaries for voting, so if you're interested, you can help me decide which story to write and post next.

You guys chose A and it is up! _Everything As It Should Be_. 

Once again, thanks for reading and for supporting me! I hope you guys will stick around and enjoy more of my writing. <3


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